by April Lust
I grinned as Kendall helped me into a wheelchair and began to roll me out of the room. “So she had a girl, huh? She was so convinced about that, even though the ultrasound tech told her it would be a boy.”
Kendall laughed. “They get it wrong all the time,” she said. She hipped open the door, then guided me out into the hallway. It was so bright that my eyes ached.
In the lobby on that floor, I saw Lloyd and Wells. They were reading the Miranda Rights to Jack. His arms were cuffed behind his back and he looked angrier than I’d ever seen him.
As Kendall wheeled me by, I made eye contact with my old boss for what I hoped would be the last time in my life. “Have fun in prison,” I said casually. “Don’t let the big queens get you.”
Jack growled and launched towards me, but Lloyd held him back by the shoulders. As Kendall wheeled me by, I stared into Jack’s eyes. You’re a sonuvabitch, I thought. But thanks for Nicolette. I’ll always give her everything that you couldn’t, you asshole.
“So,” Kendall said confidently as she wheeled me down another corridor marked ‘nursery.’ “I talked to the other guy – the guy who was in the crash.”
“Oh yeah?” By now I’d almost forgotten about what Kendall had told me earlier. “What happened? Did he remember?”
“That’s the thing,” Kendall said. She pushed me in front of a big glass window. On the other side, hundreds of newborns squawked and cried in what looked like plastic incubators. “He doesn’t, really. Says he picked up your girl, Nicolette, on the side of the road. And then they got into some wreck.”
I blinked. “Holy shit,” I muttered. “That means…”
“What?” Kendall looked at me curiously. “What does that mean?”
“That means,” I said slowly, “that Nicolette was the one who dragged me out of the truck. She must have somehow pulled me into the rig, and driven to the hospital herself.” I blinked again. “What a woman.”
Kendall nodded. “That’s incredible,” she said. “You sure you didn’t walk yourself?”
I shook my head. “No,” I said. “I had a concussion, and slamming into that truck knocked me out. The last thing I remembered before waking up here was driving in front of what looked like a big train. I guess that was the truck.”
Kendall’s eyes flew open wide. “That’s crazy,” she said. She wiped her hands on the front of her scrubs. “I love working in a hospital, you hear such crazy stories,” she gushed. “And you get to meet babies!”
My heart swelled as I looked through the window, trying to determine which child was mine. I hated to admit it, but most babies look the same. At least, that’s what I’d always thought. But watching them now, each one of them was different in their own way. I could tell by the way they waved their stubby arms and legs in the air that they each had their own little agenda, their own way of thinking about things.
Kendall leaned close to the glass. “Nicolette’s baby was slightly premature, so I’m afraid you can’t hold her for too long. She needs to stay warm and comfortable.”
“Is she going to be okay?”
Kendall nodded. “Oh, yeah. Ninety percent of infants born after the twenty-seventh week survive with no long-term effects. She should be fine. We just like to be cautious, that’s all.”
I nodded.
Kendall bustled inside. I watched eagerly as she traveled down the rows, looking at the babies snug inside their little cribs. When she picked up a pale baby in a pink blanket with a mass of brown hair, my heart swelled inside my chest. It was like nothing I’d ever felt before – a massive burst of paternal pride. I wanted to hold onto that little girl, wrap my arms around her and never let her go.
Kendall carried the baby carefully. When she handed her to me, she moved my hands into position. “You need to hold her head up,” she said softly. “Babies can’t do that on their own for a while. And cradle her securely, like this.” She moved my arm under the baby’s body. A flash of pain shot up my arm but I didn’t move out of fear of hurting my new daughter.
“She’s mine,” I said simply. “She’s my daughter.”
Kendall nodded. “Want me to give you some time?”
I nodded.
“I’ll go and check on Nicolette. She might be able to see you now, if she’s awake. I’ll check with the doctor.”
As Kendall walked away, I gazed down into the face of the most beautiful baby girl I’d ever seen. She had light blue eyes and tons of brown hair with a cute little nose. She was like an exact clone of Nicolette. And while she wasn’t smiling, she had a cute little look on her face like she knew something secretive I didn’t.
“I love you,” I whispered, leaning down to the baby and pressing my lips to her forehead. “You’re my daughter, you know that?” I rocked her gently in my arms. The little baby let out a cry of fear and I shushed her softly, then slowed my rocking motions to the gentlest of gestures. Finally, she quieted back down and I felt another burst of something hot and blissful in my chest.
It didn’t matter that this little girl wasn’t my flesh and blood. She was everything I’d ever wanted – everything I’d never even been able to think about until now. And I knew from the bottom of my heart that no matter what happened, I’d want to protect this little girl for the rest of my life.
“You’re never going to have to grow up like I did,” I whispered into her tiny, perfect ears. “I promise, you’ll always have a family and you’ll always have a home.”
Chapter 28
Nicolette
When I came to, I felt faint. The pain was back – I hurt everywhere – but the horrible pressure was gone. My stomach was swollen and painful, and I felt like I’d torn apart between my legs. But the overwhelming pressure had finally disappeared.
Dr. Collins smiled at me. “You have a very eager family waiting to see you,” he said. “Would you like to meet your daughter?”
My eyes filled with tears as Dr. Collins helped me into a wheelchair. “I’m taking you into a recovery room,” he said. “Charlie is there, along with your daughter.”
“I had a baby girl?” The tears began to spill down my cheeks and I cried openly, burying my face in my hands. “All of the ultrasounds said she would be a boy!”
Dr. Collins laughed. “They’re wrong all the time,” he said. “Trust me. You’re happy?”
I was filled with such strong emotion that I could barely nod. “I’ve never been so happy in my whole life.”
I wasn’t prepared for the sight of Charlie holding our baby as Dr. Collins wheeled me into a cheery room with windows and a white hospital bed. My tears turned into choked sobs.
“Hey, babe,” Charlie said softly. “You wanna meet our daughter?”
The first moments holding my baby were like something from a fairytale. She was small – I’d have thought she was bigger – but her light blue eyes were shaped exactly like my brown ones, and she already had a thick head of brown hair.
“Charlie is the father,” I said softly to Dr. Collins and the nurses crowded inside the small room. “He’s the only father this little girl will ever know.”
One nurse – I didn’t recognize her, but she was a pretty, pale redhead – started clapping and visibly teared up. The other nurses clapped, too, and somehow that made me start crying all the harder.
The baby looked up at me with wide, innocent eyes.
“What should we name her?” Charlie limped over to me. He was using a cane, and I could tell it hurt him to rest any weight on his leg. “Have you thought of anything?”
I swallowed. “What do you think about Isabelle?”
“Isabelle it is.”
# # #
The next couple of days were hard. The doctors weren’t letting me go immediately – I’d had a shot of Pitocin after labor, supposedly to help my uterus adapt and begin to stretch back to normal. The doctor had told me that hemorrhaging was extremely uncommon, and unlikely to happen again if I ever had any more children. He said it was probably brought on by the s
tress of the situation. Still, I worried I’d done something to hurt my daughter.
I hated knowing that the hours before she’d come into the world had been such traumatizing ones. I wanted to make it up to her as soon as possible.
Charlie told me all about Jack, including his real name. I hadn’t even known that – when he told me, I’d burst out laughing. Somehow, imagining my evil ex-boyfriend as ‘Johnson’ lessened the sting of his years of abuse. He was currently awaiting trial in a county jail and, because of the abuse allegations, he was being held without bail.
“The cops told me he could be locked up for ten or fifteen years,” Charlie told me one afternoon as he was visiting me. We weren’t allowed to stay in the same room – I was still in the ICU – and I looked forward to our visits almost as much as I looked forward to holding my daughter. She was still being kept under close supervision. Hospitals didn’t take premature births lightly, and while I knew I should have been grateful that Isabelle was safe, I was still annoyed I couldn’t hold her.
“You really think he’ll get convicted?” I asked softly.
Charlie snorted. “If only for breaking my leg in two places,” he said. “And they searched the car that Jack drove in from Cali. Full of drugs and guns with the serial numbers rubbed off.” He rolled his eyes. “He was practically asking for jail time with that kind of a stash.”
“Charlie, what are we going to do now?” I asked softly. “What are you going to do for work? Are we going to stay here?”
Charlie nodded. “I think that would be for the best,” he said. “Unless you’d rather move. Is there somewhere else you’d rather live?”
I licked my lips. “I don’t feel ready to go back to California, yet,” I confessed. “But I’m not sure I want Isabelle to grow up around here. I want her to have friends her age, you know? This town is so old.” I wrinkled my nose.
Charlie laughed. “Yeah, okay,” he said. “We’ll think about that later, okay?” As he leaned in and kissed me on the lips, I felt a warm surge of tingling in my nipples. Charlie’s tongue slipped between my lips and I moaned softly as he reached closer and stroked my back through my thin gown.
“I can’t wait to be with you again,” I confessed shyly as he pulled away. “I feel like we don’t get any privacy around here.”
Charlie growled. “You’re gonna be so sore,” he whispered throatily in my ear. “I’ll have to carry you around; you won’t be able to walk.”
I giggled and blushed. “That’s no way to speak to the mother of your child,” I said primly.
Charlie pulled away. “I was thinking about patching into a local club,” he said. “But if that bothers you, I won’t do it.” He held up his hands in the air and I stared at his wrist. It was still in the soft cast, but he was already looking better than he had before. “If it bothers you, just say the word.”
I bit my lip. “I’m not sure,” I said softly. “I don’t know that I’m ready for that kind of life again, Charlie. What kind of stuff would you be involved with?”
Charlie ran a hand through his close-cropped blonde hair. I watched as his arm flexed and bulged, the strong muscle showing under his wealth of tattoos. “Nothing illegal,” he said softly. “No drugs, no guns. Probably some security work, if you’re all right with that. And I’d keep doing mechanic handiwork, if I can get it. But I want more security than just odd jobs. We have Isabelle now. We gotta make sure our daughter is taken care of.”
I nodded. “I still have a couple weeks off work,” I said. “But I’ll go back to Target as soon as I can.”
Charlie pulled me into his arms and kissed the top of my head. “If I had my way, you’d never have to work again,” he said. He sighed. “We’ll get there soon, though. I promise.”
My throat swelled up with emotion and I buried my face in Charlie’s neck so he couldn’t see that I’d begun to cry. I couldn’t believe it – I felt so lucky and happy for the first time in so long.
“Did I tell you, before I had Isabelle, I had a dream about her?” I looked into Charlie’s eyes.
He reached over and wiped one of my tears away. “No, you didn’t.”
I bit my lip. “She had your eyes,” I said softly. “They were bright green.”
Charlie grinned and puffed up his chest. “Well, makes sense,” he said suavely. “After all, I am her father.”
Chapter 29
Nicolette – Six Weeks Later
“Come here,” Charlie whispered. His cast grazed my thigh as he slowly dragged his fingers over my legs. “I miss you, Nicolette. It’s been weeks.”
“Isabelle’s asleep, shhh,” I whispered. “We could go in the other room.”
Charlie slid an arm under my body and scooped me up, carrying me off toward his bedroom. Well, it wasn’t really his bedroom anymore. It was our spare room. Ever since Charlie and I had come home from the hospital, he and I had slept together every night.
Isabelle had a little crib to the side of my bed. I glanced at her out of the corner of my eye as Charlie carried me swiftly down the hall. Her cute little face was relaxed and slack, and she was sleeping with her lips slightly parted.
Sometimes, I joked that we’d won the baby lottery. Isabelle was so good. She almost never cried or fussed, and spent most of her time feeding and sleeping. My breasts were so used to pumping milk that they were swollen whenever I wasn’t feeding her. As Charlie slid a hand down my body and fondled me through the loose sweatshirt I wore, I felt my heart begin to race with excitement.
He gently set me down on the bed. As we kissed, I took the time to explore his mouth – letting my tongue run over his, searching all the hidden places. He tasted smoky and musky, like a real man. Like home.
“God, Nicolette, I’ve missed you so much,” Charlie whispered. He slid his hands under my sweatshirt and pulled it up, tossing it to the side.
I snuggled against his bare chest, moaning at the sensation of my stiff nipples rubbing against his soft skin. Before I could stop it, milk spurted out from my breasts. I cried out in embarrassment, pulling away from Charlie and burying my face in the sheets.
“Nicolette, don’t,” Charlie said gently. He trailed a hand down my back. “You have no reason to be self-conscious. I promise you, babe. I love you just the way you are. You’re perfect.”
I moaned softly. “It just feels so weird,” I mumbled into the covers. “I know that shouldn’t happen when you touch me. It just feels so gross!”
“It’s not gross, it’s you,” Charlie said gently. When I felt his lips and tongue on my bare shoulder, I shivered with desire. “And you know I love you, no matter what. So come here and kiss me.”
I didn’t have to be asked twice. As Charlie wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer than ever, our lips met with a burning spark of lust. I groaned softly into his mouth as Charlie began to nibble and suck on my lower lip. Between my legs was a wet mess of arousal. I grabbed Charlie’s wrist and slowly pulled it down my body until his fingers were between my thighs.
“Dr. Collins just cleared me for sex,” I whispered into Charlie’s ear. “He said I’m all good to go.” I bit my lip, suddenly nervous. We hadn’t been together since day. “Charlie, I’m scared.”
Charlie pulled away. His deep green eyes stared into mine. I swallowed hard, trying to get over my fright. “Babe, what’s wrong?” Charlie kissed me softly. He pulled the sheet over our bodies and twined his arms around my neck. “Are you afraid of Jack?”
“I don’t know,” I said softly. “I’m afraid things are going to be different now, that we’re not going to be like we were before.”
Charlie laughed quietly. “I’m sorry,” he said quickly. “I didn’t mean it like that. But yeah, Nicolette, things will be a little different around here for now. That’s not all bad, you know. We have a baby now. We’re parents,” he added meaningfully. “Of course we’re not gonna be like we were before.”
“And Jack?”
“He’s going to jail for a long time,” C
harlie said. He grinned smugly. He’d made friends with one of the local cops, and they’d confided to him that Jack didn’t have a chance in hell of getting out any time soon. Between the drug and assault charges, he was looking at fifteen to twenty years.
“Good,” I said softly. My heart was pounding in my chest. “I think…I think I want to try again, Charlie,” I said softly. “Come here.”
Charlie crawled between my legs, kneeling on the bed and pulling me close. He wrapped his arms around my neck and our lips met. I tasted salt on his lips and gently tongued my way into his mouth, licking his tongue and savoring the taste of him so close to me. Charlie groaned. He bucked his hips against my body and I could feel that he was stiff and hard under the fabric of his jeans. A bolt of lust went through me and I fought the urge to shiver. Calm down, I thought as we moved together on the bed. It’s just Charlie. It’ll be just like before.
