Mortal Heart
Page 16
Floris holds up her hands to halt my words. “You are not an enemy. Aeva simply sees things more rigidly than most. Now, here, if you would kindly clear a place for our bedrolls.”
It is a simple task, even a mindless one, but I do not care, for my head is already overfull. As I pick up rocks and twigs from the ground, both Tola and Floris cut marks and sigils into the earth with their bone-handled knives. I am consumed with curiosity—we at the convent have no such magic, or at least none that I have heard of—but I do not wish to intrude on a private ritual that they are using in order to protect me, so I allow myself only occasional glances.
I finish my task before they finish theirs and look around for something else to do. Dusk is falling fast now, and a few squirrels and rabbits venture forth for a last forage before the night. The rabbits are thin, but thin is still better than nothing. Moving slowly so as not to startle them, I pick up my bow and two arrows. When they lift their heads, sniffing the air, I hold perfectly still so they will not sense me. As soon as they go back to their grazing, I fit an arrow to the bow and aim. There is an explosion of movement as the creatures take flight, but I am pleased to see that the largest of the rabbits lies still on the ground. I will much prefer eating a dinner that I have caught myself than relying on Aeva’s bitter hospitality.
That night, as we eat, Tola keeps looking at me, and I know she wishes to ask me questions. I am grateful when she does not. Aeva, however, shows no such restraint. “So, you are a daughter of Mortain, and yet the hellequin pursued you?”
I keep my attention firmly on the rabbit haunch I am gnawing. “I did not tell them who I was.”
“Why not?”
I should lie and turn her questions from me, but seeing Matelaine today reminded me that my reasons for leaving were justified. “Out of fear that it was me they were after.”
The frankness of that answer silences even the belligerent Aeva. At least for a moment. She opens her mouth to ask something else, but Floris puts her hand on the other woman’s arm. “Surely that is a convent matter and none of our concern.”
Aeva swallows back whatever question she was considering. It might just be my imagination, but I think I discern a new measure of respect in her manner.
That night, I find it nearly impossible to sleep in spite of my exhaustion. Every time I close my eyes, I see Matelaine’s cold, dead face, and I want to rail at myself for being so long detained by the hellequin. If I had gotten to Guérande earlier, could I have prevented her death?
Just as I finally start to fall asleep, the ground begins to rumble and I come fully awake.
The hunt.
I freeze, as if holding still will keep them from finding me. The rumble grows louder, and the ground trembles against my cheek as they draw closer. I turn to look at the others and find Tola’s eyes open. “Do not worry,” she whispers. “The wards will hold.”
And they do. But I can see the dark ghostly figures riding just on the other side of them. One rider draws to a halt and stares at our camp. Even though I cannot see who it is from this distance, my skin recognizes the dark, brooding caress of his gaze, and I shiver.
The following day, we draw close enough to Vannes to see the spires of its churches. We also run into the first of the French soldiers. They have commandeered a local farmer’s ox cart as well as what looks like the very last of his slim winter food stores. Since the new crops will not be in for weeks yet, they may well have just sentenced the family to death by starvation.
There are six of them, two on the driver’s bench and four more flanking the cart to guard it. Luckily, we left the main road over an hour ago and have been traveling alongside it, hidden in the smattering of trees that rise up on either side of the road. The Arduinnites exchange a glance and draw their bows. Anticipation prickles along my skin as I realize what they intend to do. I draw my bow as well, for I will not stand idly by and hand Aeva an opportunity to question my skill or commitment.
Floris gives me a faint nod, then motions in silence to assign each of us a soldier. I am to take one of the men in the rear.
It is no different from the targets at the convent, I tell myself. But that is a lie. It is altogether different, for these men are flesh and blood, their bodies still pulsing with life.
I take a deep breath and sight along the arrow. The French soldier is thin and dirty and is boasting to his fellow Frenchmen about how the farmer nearly pissed himself in terror as he teased him with his sword. In that second, everything shifts, and it is precisely like shooting at the targets.
My vision narrows until the entire world is reduced to the French soldier. I squint against the pale winter sun, block out the soft chirping of the birds, and calculate the force of the light breeze.
But when I am ready to take the shot, for a brief moment my fingers refuse to let loose the arrow. I curse inwardly, then wrench my fingers from the bowstring and let the arrow fly. So no one will suspect that I hesitated, I quickly nock a second arrow and fire it as well. The air is filled with a brief series of thuds, and I watch as my arrow strikes the forward guard seconds before Aeva’s does. She whips her head around and glares at me. “He was mine!”
I shrug. “He was going for his knife. I had no idea how accurate he would be at throwing it.”
Aeva looks at me with a mixture of grudging admiration and annoyance.
Floris begins issuing orders. “Tola, turn the cart around and see if you can get it back to its owner. Aeva, go with her. You might suggest they hide their supplies better, unless they wish to eat nothing more than new grass and dirt clods.” I avert my eyes, not wanting to watch as Aeva and Floris toss the bodies around like old sacks of grain, and I must fight to keep the sour churning in my belly from making me ill. It is the excitement, I tell myself. Excitement that I have finally made my first kill.
Even though this is what I have been trained to do, it does not feel nearly as joyous or righteous as I thought it would. I must remind myself that these are French soldiers who have killed any number of Bretons—and would do so again, even if only by confiscating all of their food.
Once Tola has the cart turned around, Aeva scrambles up onto the bench beside her. We arrange a place and time to meet later. As they head down the road, Floris sends me a sideways glance. “That was fine shooting.”
“Thank you. I have had years of practice.”
“You beat Aeva to her second shot,” she points out.
An apology begins to form on my lips, but instead I say, “I thought the element of surprise was important.”
Floris nods solemnly. “It was, but Aeva does not like being bested.”
I turn and meet Floris’s gaze head-on. “Neither do I.”
She smiles widely, then changes the subject. “It could be hours before they return, so you and I are going to do a little scouting to see if the French have hunkered down in the city or spread themselves throughout the countryside.”
We spend the better part of the afternoon riding through copses and crawling on our bellies through shrubs and brambles to get close enough to assess the enemy’s position. More than once I find myself wishing for leather leggings and thick hide to armor myself against the sharp twigs, thorns, and brambles we encounter.
It is a most productive afternoon, even if it is a disheartening one. The French man the city gates as well as its walls. Additional guards have been set out along all three roads leading into the city. The largest of the farms and manor houses nearby have been seized, and I can only hope the soldiers were merciful to those whose homes they have stolen.
As the sun dips lower in the sky, we make our way back to the assigned meeting spot to see if Tola and Aeva have returned. They have, although they’ve been waiting for only minutes.
As Floris tells the others of what we found, I try to decide how best to get around Vannes and continue on to Guérande. Will the roads outside the city be blocked as well? And if so, how far north will I have to travel to avoid the French troops?
The road brings us upward in a series of switchbacks until we are at the top of a small rise. It is a good defensive spot, for we can see in all directions. As we clear the final switchback, the Arduinnites’ camp comes into full view.
There are maybe a hundred Arduinnites in the camp, all of them dressed in tight leather leggings and rough-looking tunics. There are a scattering of tents set up, a handful of large ones and a number of smaller ones. To the south of the camp they have erected a fence around a large pastured area where they keep a herd of some of the most beautiful horses I have ever seen. I turn to Floris. “Aren’t you afraid the French scouts will find you?”
Aeva smiles, fierce and chilling. “Let them. Not one of them will leave here alive.”
Floris gives a small nod of agreement. “Tola, you will share your tent with Annith. Go fetch it from the supply wagons, and once you get it set up, find me.” With that, she rides off to one of the larger tents. I watch as she dismounts, hands the reins to a waiting young Arduinnite who cannot be more than twelve years old, then enters the tent.
Before we do as Floris ordered, Tola and I take our horses to the paddock area and see them settled. I hoist my saddlebag over one shoulder, snag my bedroll, then grab my bow with my other hand before following Tola to where three large supply wagons have been parked. She rifles through one of them and then pulls out a rolled-up tent and a couple of blankets.
She picks out a spot that is halfway between the perimeter of the camp and the center. The tent is simple in its design and made of ox hide. It is not fancy and barely large enough for two, but it will keep out the wind and the moisture.
Even so, I do not intend to be in it for long.
When Floris and Aeva rejoin us, I tell them precisely that. “Thank you for allowing me to travel with you this far, but you have duties that keep you here, so I will leave in the morning and journey the rest of the way to Guérande on my own.”
“How? You yourself saw that every road was watched by the French troops.”
“I will travel due north far enough to avoid them, then give them wide berth before heading south again toward Guérande.”
Floris tilts her head and studies me. “But the northern road is blocked.”
“Then I will not use the road.”
“But what of the hellequin?”
“I will not let them stop me. I shall look for walled cities and churches in which to pass the nights.”
“Can you be so very certain there will be one on every leg of your journey?” Her voice is gentle as she points out how much I am leaving to chance.
“Of course not, but I will manage.” I consider asking them to teach me how to draw those wards—Tola would, with a little persuasion.
Aeva folds her arms and looks at me in disgust. “You would abandon all these innocents and leave them to the French to avenge one who is already dead?”
“Aeva!” Floris’s voice is sharp. “That is her choice to make, not yours.”
I meet Aeva’s gaze steadily. “All those innocents have the followers of Arduinna to see to their safety. Matelaine has only me to avenge her death and see that such a thing never happens to one of Mortain’s daughters again.”
Aeva barks out a laugh. “You would protect Mortain’s daughters against death?”
“No. I would protect them against the betrayal that led to her death.”
They all fall silent then, but Aeva’s words have planted a small seed of guilt in me, and it begins growing, for there is truth in what she says. Confronting the abbess sooner rather than later will not bring Matelaine back from the dead. More importantly, I must think carefully about letting my own headstrong stubbornness propel me straight into the arms of the hellequin. Who will avenge Matelaine if they capture me?
“At least stay another night,” Floris suggests, “so our scouts can report back on the French positions. That way, you’ll be able to avoid them, if not the hellequin.”
Impatiently, Tola tucks a stray strand of hair behind her ear. “Could we not show her the wards, so she could protect herself?”
Aeva’s answer is fast and unequivocal. “No! She is not one of us and has no right to our secrets.”
“Thank you,” I tell her coolly, “but I do not wish anyone to betray their secrets. However, getting captured or killed in the attempt to avenge Matelaine will only ensure that the truth dies with me, so I will stay another day or two and think on other possible plans.” I turn to Floris. “If you will have me.”
“But of course. You are welcome to stay as long as you like.” She flashes a quick smile. “You are also more than welcome to fight with us. It may help some of that pain you are feeling.”
The suggestion startles me. “Is that allowed?”
Aeva snorts. “She will not sully herself by riding out with us. She will stay and cower in our camp while we do the hard work.”
“I am getting tired of your constant slurs and insults,” I tell her.
“Then do something about it. Something besides sitting secluded behind your thick stone walls, venturing out only when Death deigns to pay a visit, not understanding that dying is the easy part.”
“The easy part?”
“Enough, Aeva! All of us who serve our gods have our own roles to play. And there are men who would argue with your belief that their deaths were easy.” Floris’s eyes grow dark with some remembered pain, and I look away to give her privacy.
I am being offered a chance. I do not know if it comes from Mortain or Arduinna—although why she would offer me such a thing, I cannot fathom. But no more can I reason out why Mortain would send hellequin to ride after me, then allow me to use my skills to evade them. But just because I cannot understand the reasoning of the gods does not mean I will pass up this opportunity. I wanted a life outside those stone walls that Aeva scorns; I scorned them myself in much the same way when I feared I would be imprisoned behind them all the rest of my days. This may be my only chance. I do not know how things will go with the abbess when I find her in Guérande, but I feel like a starving child who must eat all the sweets now, before they are taken away for good. “Yes.” The word falls into the silence, causing everyone to look at me. “Yes, I will ride with you and aid your cause.”
“Well.” Aeva’s eyes rake over my traveling gown. “You cannot fight with us in that.”
“Of course not.” Tola takes my hand and all but drags me away from the other women. “I will see to getting her properly equipped.”
If fighting my way through the French soldiers is the only road to the abbess, then so be it. I will fight my way through them, soldier by bedamned soldier.
After pulling me back to the supply wagons, Tola rummages through their contents, then hands me a pair of leather leggings, a soft leather tunic, and a belt. I disappear into our small tent, slip out of my gown, and shimmy into my new clothes. The leggings fit like a second skin, and the leather tunic is both thicker and more supple than my gown. I cannot help but wish for a mirror to see what I look like in these strange new clothes, but of course there is none. Feeling self-conscious, I step out of the tent. Tola nods in approval. “See? You will move much more freely in those.”
And so I do. Next, Tola offers to braid my hair. I sit on a nearby log and toss my hair over my shoulders so she can more easily reach it. As her fingers busy themselves making rows and rows of small braids, she chatters about which horse is her favorite and of her excitement about our mission. Suddenly, she stops and is quiet for a long moment. “What?” I finally ask. “What is it?”
She traces her finger down along the nape of my neck, just below the ha
irline. “Where did you get this mark?”
“What mark?”
“You did not know that you had it?”
“No. What does it look like?”
“It is nothing, never mind. It must just be a birthmark of some sort.” And then she resumes braiding my hair.
Chapter Twenty-Two
EVEN WHEN THEY ARE in such a large encampment, the Arduinnites stick to small groups, or clans, as they call them, of anywhere from three women to a dozen. Campfires decorate the ground like the fireflies of summer, their flames twinkling yellow and orange in the encroaching night.
As I draw near our campfire, Tola and Floris stop their conversation and turn to me. Tola beams as proudly as a new mother, and I feel suddenly shy in my new attire. Floris smiles warmly, and even Aeva gives a begrudging grunt of—could it be?—approval. Four quail are on a spit over the fire, and my mouth waters at the scent of roasting meat.
Floris and Tola, while always friendly enough, seem especially relaxed in my presence tonight. Perhaps that is simply because they are surrounded by such a large number of their sisters. Whatever the reason, I welcome it, for I have questions I wish to ask, and it will be much easier if I do not have to wade through suspicion or hostility.
Once we are eating and all their attention is turned to their food, I begin. “Floris, you said that you are a priestess of Arduinna. How are her priestesses chosen?” I cut a quick glance at Aeva, bracing myself for a protest, but none comes.
“Followers of Arduinna can choose to be priestesses if they are willing to submit to the required nine years of training. Once they have mastered that, they take turns serving the goddess at different times of the year, then resume their normal duties when they are not.” She tilts her head curiously. “Is that not how your convent does it?”
“No, we are fashioned more in accordance with the offices of the new church. We have an abbess who oversees all, and then a seeress who helps us interpret Mortain’s will.” Before she can think to wonder how our seeresses are chosen, I hurry to ask my next question. “Who rules over all of you? With so very many groups, surely you must need some way to settle disagreements.”