“I’ve already eaten.”
“Of course you have. I assume at wherever it is you lay your head at night.” She had meant to keep her tone light, to not start a fight with him she had no right to win. He wasn’t hers, nor would he ever be, but bitterness leeched into her words anyway.
The corners of his lips twitched into the shadow of smile. “That’s not jealousy I’m detecting, is it?”
“Certainly not.”
He put a finger under her chin and tipped her head up, planting a gentle kiss upon her lips. The moment she started to respond, he pulled away. “I’ve been working, Lexie. You have nothing to worry about.”
“I’m not worried.”
“Of course you’re not,” he responded, but the way his mouth curved into a wry smile told her he didn’t believe her. “But if you were, I hope to assure you I am spending my nights alone.”
“Hm. I guess it’s a good thing I wasn’t worried,” she lied. Fumbling for the right words, she began hesitantly, “Listen, Nicholas, if you’ve changed your mind...”
He snorted a laugh and his arms tightened around her. “There is no one but you, Lexie. No one.”
“Ah,” she said, disconcerted by how relieved she was by his declaration, though being the focus of the attentions of a man like Nicholas was disconcerting in and of itself. She cleared her throat. “Well. Would you care to come with me to the kitchen?”
“I’m afraid I can’t stay,” he said, bending his head and gently brushing his lips against hers, a kiss light and delicate and so delicious it sent shivers down her spine.
When they parted, she asked, “You’re leaving already?”
“It’s unavoidable.”
“Why come back at all?”
He laughed. “Now, there’s the temper. I was afraid something had happened to drive it away,” he said, kissing away her frown. “Actually, Lexie, I came to see you.”
“Hm.”
“I’m free this evening. I’d like to go on an outing.”
“Are you asking if I’ll join you?”
“Seems I am.”
“Then I’d like that.”
“Good,” he said with a satisfied smile, and she couldn’t help grinning in response. He kissed her again, his lips warm and gentle against hers. Her heart fluttered at the promise those kisses held. Parting before passion exploded, as it always did when they touched one another, he said, “Until tonight, Miss Markland.”
“Until tonight.”
“Where are you taking me?” Lexie asked with a laugh.
“Just wait. We’ll be there soon enough.” He seemed so pleased with himself—his expression jovial and self-satisfied—she laughed again. Though she wouldn’t admit it to him, she was glad to be in his company once again, to be the focus of his attention. She was happy to have her Nicholas back.
Not her Nicholas, she reminded herself. Never hers.
The carriage stopped, and Nicholas took her hand and helped her down. The smell of cedars surrounded her as she descended into a world both primordial and wild, though they were only a few short miles away from the largest city on the west coast. Lush cedars surrounded her, and a narrow path led through ferns and brush. A chill had settled in the air, wispy fog swirled amongst the canopy of trees, and the wind whispered in the branches, still and silent and lovely.
Nicholas waved the footman away and grabbed a basket. He took her hand and led her up the narrow, winding path. After a time, Lexie asked, “Nicholas, where are we going?”
He gave her an enigmatic smile. “Just wait. Trust me, it’s worth it.”
She had a hard time believing anything could be lovelier than this place. Accustomed to the scorching summer heat of Sacramento, of hills brown with dry grass, Lexie found this cool green, lushly forested paradise wondrously romantic. Eden couldn’t have been more beautiful. She had never even imagined any place like this existed. But then Nicholas turned and smiled at her, real joy evident in those turquoise eyes, and she realized she had seen such beauty. She saw it every time she looked in Nicholas’s eyes.
She was a fool to be here.
She pushed the thought away. The trees cleared, and Lexie recognized why Nicholas had brought her here. Cool purple flowers dotted the landscape, and the endless expanse of the Pacific stretched out before her, an immense span of water extending to the end of the earth. For a girl who had never left the town she had been born in, who lived in the shadow of the Sierra Nevada, seeing the mighty Pacific was a humbling experience.
They stood on the edge a cliff, waves crashing below them. The water was deep blue—not the green of the river, or the brown of the delta, or even the blue of the bay—the deepest blue she had ever seen, like the deep indigo of the night sky just after dusk. Fog had begun rolling in, beginning to mar the sunlight glinting off the water. Amid lacy ferns and succulent purple flowers, Nicholas opened the basket, took out a blanket, and motioned for her to sit.
She tore her eyes away from the wild ocean and did as Nicholas bade her, taking a seat on the blanket he prepared for her. Winking at her, he pulled out two glasses and a bottle of wine and some food: chicken, a pair of apples, chocolate.
“You really went all out, didn’t you?” Lexie asked with a laugh.
Nicholas smiled. “Well, you’re worth it.”
She smiled faintly in return, but her heart soared at the words. Maybe he had said these words before, maybe he had seduced untold numbers of women using his honeyed tongue, but she still felt treasured. Everything about him was different from her, from the golden skin and the tawny hair, to the strength of his arms, to the confident way he carried himself. She wished, not for the first time, that she was as self-assured as he and commanded the presence he did. She was certain she never would.
Popping some chicken into her mouth, she noticed his eyes fixated on her lips. She sipped her wine and gazed at the raging ocean. “It’s so beautiful here.”
“I’m glad you like it. I thought you might.” She heard the smile in his voice, but was afraid to look at him and have her eyes betray her. She reminded herself to be careful with him, for he could so easily control her heart. Her decision to come to San Francisco was the most foolishly impulsive thing she had ever done, and one day in the not-so-distant future, she would regret it. Despite that knowledge, she flung herself into the experience. Being with Nicholas was like being free for the first time in her life.
Keeping her eyes locked on the ocean, she said, “I feel like I’m at the end of the world.” They sat quietly for a moment, watching the waves roll in and hearing the crash as they collided with the rocks below. “Walk with me?”
Standing, he offered her his hand and assisted her to her feet. Arm in arm, they walked in amiable silence for a time. Maybe because their relationship had begun in silence, the quiet wasn’t awkward. They didn’t need words to fill the silent space between them. As the fog rolled in, the mist swirled around their feet, and Lexie leaned into Nicholas, happy to share the warmth of his body. She shivered.
Without a word, he took off his jacket and draped it around her shoulders, and she smiled her thanks.
Even the chill in the air didn’t mar the perfection of this place. She loved the proximity she shared to Nicholas, wanting to feel the heat from his body, wanting to be closer to him still. She was acutely aware of where her hand touched his arm, of where their bodies touched as she leaned into him. The mist swirling around them, the sound of crashing waves, leant the air a dream-like quality, and Lexie wondered if this could possibly be real. Was she really here, with the most impossibly handsome, charming, and gentle man she had ever met?
She would treasure this memory forever.
Turning toward her, Nicholas asked, “Are you ready to head back?”
She wasn’t, but she had to admit it was getting too cold for them to remain much longer. He had to be chilled. “Yes.” His gaze intense, she was certain he would kiss her, and she wanted him to. She savored the anticipation, and, not wanting t
o lose it, she placed her hand upon his chest and said, “Catch me if you can.” Laughing, she took off running down the path.
They ran for a time, and Lexie was certain Nicholas allowed her to run ahead. He could have caught any time he wanted to. Finally, when he decided to end their chase, his hands snaked around her waist and he lifted her off of her feet. She let out a delighted shriek and he laughed along with her. She leaned back into him, and he turned her in his arms. His eyes, hot and hungry, told her he wanted to kiss her. She hoped he would.
He may have meant the kiss to be chaste with the way his lips touched so lightly upon hers, but his mouth against hers was more than she could bear, and the kiss she gave him in return was gloriously heady. Passion curled in the pit of her stomach.
Lexie had been prepared for that. Nicholas’s kisses were always exhilarating. But she hadn’t been quite prepared for the rush of longing coursing through her. As he cupped her face in his large hands, she realized her longing was matched. In the passion of his kisses, she sensed his desperate desire for her. Looking up at him, she grasped how much he wanted her. She was not a possession or a thing to be used. Regardless of the circumstances precipitating their meeting, Nicholas wanted her as a man wants a woman.
She fought to catch her breath. He broke away from her mouth to trail kisses down her neck to the base of her throat, and she threaded her fingers through his tawny hair to hold him there. Her skin tingled from his kisses and gooseflesh dotted her arms, not entirely from the cold. She shivered against him.
He ceased his tender assault on her person and their gazes locked. Cupping her face in his hands, gently stroking her cheeks with his thumbs, he said softly, “We should be getting back.”
“I know,” she whispered, hating the idea of giving up their pleasant idyll to return to the world. She liked the dream-like quality of their time here, as if they could reside in this fairy-tale place forever, just the two of them, all thoughts of the world banished. There was no future in which she married another, no life she had to lead without him. Here, it was simply the two of them, together for all time. A part of her wanted to weep.
Breaking away from her, he broke down their picnic, sweeping the food and the blanket into the basket. Reaching out, he took her hand in his and led her back down the path toward the carriage. She savored every step, for every step was a step closer to reality.
Her heart hammered as he assisted her into the carriage, because it knew something her mind had not yet grasped: Nicholas had no intention of ending their idyll just yet.
When they reached the carriage, Nicholas assisted her in, pulling her into the seat next to him, and she laughed in response, her heart thundering, her breath quickening, giddy with delight. Taking her face into his hands, he said softly, “You are so beautiful, Lexie.”
Her skin tingled with anticipation, his words setting her blood ablaze. She could say the same about him: that he was beautiful, but the word didn’t do him justice. Maybe noble, or gallant. Honorable, and kind in ways that surprised her. The cynic in her cried he had this effect on women. If he couldn’t make a woman feel worthy and prized, he wouldn’t have the reputation he did. But despite the voice in her head, her heart responded to his praise. No one had ever looked at her the way he did—like she was wanted, beautiful...and loved. And she realized that even if all of this were a lie, she didn’t care, because it would be over all-too-soon anyway.
She clung to his words, to the way he looked at her, relishing every moment, memorizing every detail so she could take this memory out later and relive it. And then he leaned down and softly kissed her lips.
The gentle passion stunned her. Nicholas’s kisses had always been hard and hot, demanding even, and she had expected heat and lust. This kiss was unhurried and tender, yet uncompromising, filled with the promise of long nights spent in his arms, of a forever filled with passion and beauty and love. She sensed adoration and longing in the way he kissed her, and behind it, an affection both honest and real. She knew he wanted her, desired her, but she hadn’t for a moment entertained the idea he might fall for her just as she was falling for him.
She pushed the thought away and savored the kiss, tasting the salt from the ocean on his lips where they met hers, and the heady fragrance of the wine on his tongue as it slid between her lips to dance with hers. She broke away and saw his bejeweled eyes hooded with lust, and a part of her was pleased she had put such an expression on his face. With a possessive growl, he threaded his fingers in her hair and pulled her in to kiss her.
Passion erupted, hot and sweet, her stomach tightening, her muscles clenching. Her skin burned and tingled as she was flooded by emotion and lust. It overwhelmed her senses until she could think of nothing else but the sensation of his skin under her fingertips, until she wanted nothing else but his fingers on her skin, the heat of his flesh against hers. Nothing in her life had prepared her for Nicholas’s touch.
Nicholas pulled her into his lap to nuzzle her neck, and lightning flashed down her spine and settled in the pit of her stomach, making her flesh aching and needy. She shrugged out of his jacket, desperate for more of him against her, and he continued to torment her with his kisses, sometimes gliding deep, sometimes teasing shallowly, sometimes so tender she wanted to weep, sometimes so hot she couldn’t breathe. He took the heat in her blood and built a fire. The heat and the fire belonged to him, and it raged in her body and her heart until it consumed everything she was and everything she had, and left her nothing but ash.
She belonged to him.
And belatedly, she realized she would always belong to him. Everything she had to give was his and had been, since the moment they first met.
For the first time, she was afraid of what life would be like now that she had met the man she didn’t want to live without. Pausing, she said breathlessly, “Nicholas.”
He ceased his sweet assault to regard her, desire still clearly written on his face. “Lexie,” he responded.
“I don’t...I don’t...” She cast about for the right words to say. Completely at a loss, she could nothing but stare at him.
And he seemed to understand. Sliding his hand around the back of her neck, he pulled her toward him and kissed her hard. “I feel it, too,” he said, and her heart jumped. His gaze tender, he kissed her again and rested his forehead against hers. “It’s like you’ve shown me something I didn’t even know I was looking for until the day I met you.”
That was it. Nicholas had expressed it far more eloquently than Lexie ever could have, and his words were absolutely true: he had shown her a world she hadn’t even known existed before she met him. He had shown her passion and heat, certainly, and he woke her body in a way she never anticipated, but he had also shown her gentleness and concern. She had known something was missing from her life, but she had no idea what it was until she met Nicholas.
Because what she had been missing, what she had been searching for and never known it, was him. Since she’d met him—even when she hadn’t been talking to him—a great weight had been lifted from her chest.
He allowed her to finally breathe.
And he was the one person in the world she couldn’t breathe without.
The carriage came to a rickety halt, jostling them both, and Lexie skirted away from him. He smiled wickedly, catching his tongue between his teeth and giving her a saucy wink. Descending from the carriage, he extended his hand to assist her out.
When she took it, she knew their night together wasn’t finished.
She turned her head to look up at the footman, and Nicholas swept her into his strong arms and made to carry her inside the house.
She squealed in surprise. Laughing, she asked, “Just what do you think you’re doing?”
He graced her with a roguish grin that sent her heart racing. “I think I’m taking my woman inside to make love to her, that’s what I think.”
Her body cried, God yes! Her heart thundered to the drums of mad desire. This was precisely what she
wanted—Nicholas taking her inside and making her his, as she had been his from the moment he stepped through her father’s door.
He kicked open the door and carried her up the wide, circular staircase up to the master suite on the second floor, a room she doubted he’d even been in. Even now, he scarcely seemed to notice his surroundings, his attention focused solely on her. Not giving her the opportunity to become afraid, he placed her on the floor, then encircled her with his arms and pulled her into a tight embrace that crushed her breasts against the wide, hard expanse of his chest, and kissed her.
Immediately he breathed life into the fire he stoked in her blood. Before she was even aware of it, he had undone the buttons of her bodice and pushed it from her shoulders. Seconds later, he had the stays of her skirt undone and it joined her bodice on the floor. He leaned down to kiss her, his tongue invading her mouth, robbing her of her mind, and, even though she felt him working the busque of her corset, she was still surprised when, seconds later, it, too, fell from her body. Nicholas was certainly adept at undressing a woman.
Once he had stripped her down to her chemise, he paused in his attack on her senses to study her. “I have envisioned you in satin and silk, in French lace, and yet, you dressed in linen is still somehow the most provocative thing I have ever seen. I’ve been unable to get the image of you dressed in simple linen out of my head since that night in my library.” Kissing her deeply, he shed his vest and his shirt. His chest was wide, hard, with a dusting of wiry reddish hair, and all she wanted to do was run her fingers through it. “You deserve the finest things—the finest, softest fabrics—against your skin, but I think I will always hold linen in high regard from now on.”
She reached up, threaded her fingers through his tawny hair and kissed him, opening her mouth for him, her tongue penetrating his lips to dance with his. His hands shifted the chemise up to her waist, his hands roaming the bare flesh of her hips, spanning her waist and kneading her buttocks. Taking a step back from him, she raised her arms above her head and looked at him expectantly.
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