by M. J. Haag
“You want me to go around scolding almost seven-foot tall men, who more than double my weight and can rip off someone’s head as fast as I can blink, like they’re children?”
“Not scold. Just tell them to put back whatever they have,” Mya said. “Or let Molev know.”
“Molev?”
“Yeah, it’s his turn to make a trip. Drav will be in charge here while he’s gone. Molev’s not expecting Merdon or Thallirin back anytime soon, so there’s no reason for him to stay.”
She studied me for a moment.
“Molev makes you nervous?” she asked.
“They all do.”
“Even after spending the day with Kerr? I thought it would help you be less nervous about tomorrow.”
“You mean about leaving?”
“Yes. Leaving. Being with a fey. Trusting them to respect ‘No’ when you say it.”
I considered it for a moment and nodded slowly.
“I guess I am less nervous about them. Although Molev is still the scariest, by far.”
“No way,” Hannah said. “Have you seen Merdon and Thallirin? Those guys are the scariest.”
Having been focused on treating Merdon’s leg wound, I hadn’t really noticed more than their size and scars. It was Molev’s stoic, larger-than-life presence and his position of authority that intimidated the hell out of me.
“There’s really nothing to worry about with the fey. They’ll keep you safe,” Mya said.
I wondered if she felt like a broken record delivering the same message again and again.
“Well, I’m really more nervous about what I’ll find out there,” I finally admitted.
The mood in the room shifted. The smiles faded, and all the girls took a seat, watching me with sad eyes.
“It’s possible, you know,” Eden said after a moment. “To survive out there. We’re all proof of that. Don’t give up hope.”
“Hope? Hope left the moment I first saw the hellhounds.” I drank the last of my wine and set the cup aside. “I just need to know what happened to Lee and Caden so I can put my thoughts to rest and focus on Lilly and surviving.” I said the words, knowing that was exactly what I needed to do. However, I wondered if I’d be able to do it when I finally found what was left of them.
* * * *
From my seat at the kitchen table, I watched yet another fey pass the window. The number of men lingering outside Julie’s house astounded me.
“Would you like some more cereal?” Julie asked.
I looked at Lilly, who was happily munching away on her current bowl, and knew Julie meant me.
“No, thank you. I’m good for now.”
After returning from Hannah’s house, I’d spent the night reading books to Lilly and teaching her ABCs like I had Kerr. The tales she’d told of her adventures with Timmy had brought a smile to my face, and I knew she’d be happy enough while I was gone. Still, I dreaded leaving.
I left the table to bring my bowl to the sink. The yard was now empty.
“Where did the fey go?”
“The hunting party is probably back,” Julie said. “Would you like to go see what supplies they’ve brought?”
“Yes,” Lilly said before I could respond.
She pushed her bowl to the side and scrambled from her chair.
“Hey, get back here. We don’t waste food,” I scolded.
She quickly wolfed down the rest of her cereal then washed her hands while I took the dishes to the sink.
In less than five minutes, the three of us left the house. My stomach churned with anxiety as we walked down the road. I knew the plan. The fey would unload the supplies from the truck, make sure there was enough gas to hit the next station, and then we would go. How had the days gone by so quickly?
When we reached the wall, the fey already had a bucket brigade line, passing supplies from over the wall into the smaller ranch house just inside the wall. They moved the totes filled with cans and boxes and a variety of other items into the house.
“Let’s go inside and help Mya and Eden sort,” Julie said.
Inside, the two women stood around a large table. The last fey in the line stacked totes on the floor around them. Other fey, inside the house, put the things that Mya and Eden handed them on different shelves.
I looked around in awe at all the supplies. Against one wall, I spotted a tower of stacked boxed wine.
“Is this the supply shed?”
“We needed to use a house so nothing would freeze,” Julie said. “We thought saying ‘supply shed’ when talking to Matt would make it less hoarder sounding.”
I snorted a laugh.
“I can see why you wouldn’t want him to think you have a house full of supplies.”
“It doesn’t stay full,” Mya said. “We sort through everything and give half to Whiteman. We also go through and add to their share more of whatever we’re not using a lot of here.”
“I’m not complaining or judging,” I said. “I think it’s more than fair when they’re barely going out on their own supply runs anymore.”
The way the people of Whiteman expected the fey to work ’round the clock to keep the survivors fed and safe was one of the main reasons Mya convinced Molev to move his people to Tolerance. Both sides had made publicly loud and valid points. Mya’s argument that the fey were not slaves and had as much right to rest as the humans resonated with many of the survivors. Anyone with eyes could see how hard they worked. Matt’s rebuttal that he was not asking the fey to do anything more than he was asking the overworked survivors to do had fallen on Mya’s deaf ears. And, I couldn’t fault her for that.
Matt might not be asking for more, but the fey had been and still were doing three times the work of the folks at Whiteman. Matt knew how valuable the fey were. Which is why Matt had pulled what he did with me. He knew the workload was unfair. Yet, what could he do about it? No matter how hard he pushed the survivors, they were still human and unable to do what the fey could do so quickly.
I got to work helping Mya and Eden sort supplies. While we sorted, the empty totes were taken out and boxes were packed with supplies for Whiteman.
In no time, everything was done; and I stood back to watch Lilly, who was happily eating her way through a package of chocolate chip cookies with Mya’s help.
“She’ll be fine,” Julie said softly. “No matter what. I’ll make sure of it.”
I nodded and swallowed hard, knowing I needed to leave quickly. A drawn-out farewell wouldn’t help either of us.
Crossing the room, I planted a kiss on the top of Lilly’s head.
“Be a good girl, Lilly-bean. I’ll see if I can find some more cookies while I’m gone.”
Forgetting her treats, she popped up on her chair and threw her arms around me.
“Stay quiet and run hard, Mommy, and they won’t get you. I love you always.”
Those were the words I’d told her every time the fence was breached back at Whiteman.
Trying not to cry, I kissed the top of her head again.
“I’ll be back in a week. Have fun with Timmy, and try not to eat all of Mya’s chocolate.”
Lilly nodded and let me go.
I turned quickly and walked away before she could see my tears.
Chapter Ten
Blinded by my tears, I shuffled out the door. Strong arms scooped me off my feet, and with a squeak, I blinked up at Kerr in surprise. He studied my face then slowly lowered his head. My heart jackhammered in my chest, and I held my breath. In that moment, I wanted his mouth on mine. It didn’t matter if that yearning was from desire or simply the need to distract myself from the pain of leaving my daughter behind. I tipped my head toward his to let him know I was ready.
Kerr’s arms tightened around me, and a faint rumble came from his throat.
However, instead of kissing me, he set his forehead to mine.
“Do not cry, Cassie. This is not a forever goodbye.”
His hand moved against the jeans covering
my leg.
“I swear on my life that you will see your daughter again.”
I nodded, and uncomfortable with the intensity reflected in his gaze and my own need for comfort, ducked away from his touch.
He grunted and took off running toward the wall. My stomach flipped as he jumped over it. With a slight thump, he landed lightly beside a large, drab-green military-looking truck. Fey were passing empty totes into the back of it.
Kerr set me on my feet just as a human young man came around the back of the truck. He smiled at me and started jogging toward us.
“Hey, I’m Ryan,” he said, coming to a stop before me.
“I’m Cassie. You must be Julie’s son.”
“I am. It’s nice to meet you. Molev told me you’re going out with the next group and will be driving. Let me show you around the truck, then we’ll take it for a quick test spin.”
“Sounds good. I don’t think I’ve ever driven anything this big before.”
The bottom of the driver’s side door, which Ryan opened for me, was about neck level. There was a cupholder with a new bottle of water hanging from the door.
“It’s not as bad as it looks. It’s automatic, so there’s really not much of a difference between driving this and a car. Well, other than the suspension and the ability to run things over. And, it rides rough going over some of the stuff the infected leave in the road. So, be sure to hang on tight.”
His words caused the already large ball of anxiety in my stomach to grow larger. What would I find when we drove away from Tolerance. Back at Whiteman, I’d once glimpsed a horde of infected from a distance as they clawed at the fence. That was the last time they’d managed to break in, and I never wanted to see that many infected again. The idea that I probably would in the next few days made my knees weak as I climbed into the cab and waited for Ryan to close the door.
Ryan nodded to Kerr, who remained in his spot. Kerr’s gaze held mine as Ryan ran to the other side and got in. There was no fear in the fey’s eyes, but our conversation about fearing what lay outside the walls rang in my head.
“Ready?” Ryan asked, closing the door.
In just a few minutes, I was familiar with all of the controls. Ryan stressed that I needed to use the windshield wiper as often as necessary to get rid of infected goo. There was spare fluid in the back. And he made sure I knew how to use the parking brake when the load was heavy, and I had to stop on an incline.
For the test drive, he only had me go down the road and back. It didn’t take very long, but my stomach churned the whole time. It felt wrong to do anything outside the fence. However, I didn’t see a single infected.
“Are there really no infected around here?”
Ryan grinned.
“The fey tend to keep them away. We haven’t seen an infected in this area since two days after the fey moved in. No traps or tricks either. I think the infected are catching on to the fact that they can’t win against the fey. At least, the ones in this area. Those still here tend to stay in the woods closer to Whiteman.”
Hearing that made me feel marginally better about leaving Lilly in Tolerance with Julie and the other Fey.
I parked the truck in front of the wall and cut the engine.
“You’ll do great,” Ryan said. “Good luck, and drive safe.”
He got out and left the door open.
Molev filled the opening and climbed up into the passenger seat.
“Are you ready, Cassie?” he asked.
“I’m as ready as I’m going to be.”
He handed me a stack of maps and placed a lunch box on the seat beside me.
“We will clear the road ahead of you. Only stop if you need something.”
With a tightness in my chest and sweaty palms, I started the truck as soon as he got out. The fey kept out of my way as I turned around then jogged alongside me once I started down the road that led away from Tolerance.
Turning onto Highway 13, I was surprised to see the road clear of vehicles. Then again, considering what the wall around Tolerance was made of, a clear road made sense. As we got further away, cars sat on the shoulder, vacant and doors closed, a fresh layer of snow helping to blend them with the landscape. Some of the windows were smashed, but nothing seemed out of the ordinary, considering the current state of the world.
The fey had no trouble keeping up with me. I felt bad for going the speed limit, but I really wanted to get to the first stop as soon as possible. According to the conversation with Mya and Eden the night before, the fey could run tirelessly for an entire day. Not that I wanted to test that.
With unobstructed roads, my thoughts wandered to what we might find when we reached Parsons. Lee had considerately told me where he was taking Caden the night he had left. Having his new girlfriend’s address hadn’t reassured me at the time, but it did now. I knew where to look for my son.
Thirty minutes into the drive, I noticed something further down the road. The fey running lead noticed too and raced ahead, creating distance at a speed I wouldn’t have thought possible. Instead of trying to keep up with them, I slowed down.
As they reached the pickup truck barricading both lanes, I lifted my foot from the gas completely. The snow, which had been pristine up until this point, was dotted with foot prints and drag marks around the truck even before the fey reached it.
My heart started to thunder as I realized what lay before us.
The doors of the truck swung open, and an infected stepped out. Even with the windows rolled up and the heat turned on low, I could hear the awful sound of its call. The low groaning-moan was cut short as one of the fey removed its head.
It didn’t matter, though. The infected had done what it needed to do.
From the sides of the road, more infected poured from the trees. My heart started to hammer, and I stepped on the brakes. My door opened suddenly, and I screamed. With wide eyes, I stared at Kerr.
“Keep driving, Cassie,” he said. “My brothers will move the vehicle before you reach it.”
He closed the door before I could respond.
I stared at the infected swarming the road and all the fey fighting them. With effort, I pulled my gaze from the slaughter and glanced at Kerr still beside the door. He motioned me to start forward. As I removed my foot from the brake, my stomach churned, and I felt like I was going to throw up. But I did what he wanted and pressed down on the gas. The truck lurched forward, gaining speed.
Two fey stopped fighting long enough to push the vehicle off the road. The infected didn’t notice me coming, but the fey did. I saw them look at me. None of the fey moved out of the way, though.
I glanced at Kerr, running beside me. He waved me forward.
“You can do this, Cassie.” I tightened my grip on the steering wheel.
The fey waited until the last second to jump out of the way. The truck plowed through a swarm of infected. Blood splattered the windshield, and I fumbled with the wiper knob.
After that, I kept a relatively steady speed, only slowing slightly when spotting obstacles in the road. I let the fey move the stuff too big to drive over and plowed through the rest. The truck seemed to handle it very well. The driver not as much.
By the time we reached the first town we planned to check, my hands shook nonstop. It was barely mid-morning.
I pulled over to the shoulder, right in front of the sign that stated Clinton’s population. The forerunners continued ahead, scouting the area. I cut the engine and looked at the houses to my right. The vacant homes gave me the creeps.
I leaned my head against the steering wheel and exhaled shakily. I didn’t like stopping this close to town, but Mya and I had talked about it the night before. I needed to park at the edge of town and go in on foot because the noise of the truck would call too many infected to the area. I hated that parking further away would mean investing more time in each stop. Time I didn’t want to sacrifice. I didn’t want to sacrifice myself, either, though. Yet, that’s what it felt like I was about to
do, going in on foot.
Mya had promised it would be safe. However, after seeing all the infected on the way, I wasn’t so sure anymore.
The sound of my door opening didn’t make me jump this time.
“Are you all right, Cassie?”
I lifted my head to look at Kerr.
“My nerves are shot. I can’t stop shaking. How do you guys do this?”
He looked at the fey around the truck.
“The same way you are doing this. Because you must.”
I nodded and moved to get out. Instead of stepping back, Kerr reached up and lifted me down. He was too quick to set me on my feet this time. I would have rather stayed in his arms with a few comforting pets.
“You did not drink any water,” he said. He reached around me and plucked the bottle from the cup holder.
“Drink.”
“Then, I’ll have to pee.” I glanced at the open area on the side of the road. “I really don’t want to have to pee.”
He grunted and uncapped the water, handing it to me with an insistent nudge.
I gulped down two swallows and returned it to the cupholder.
“Take the bags from the back,” Molev said, returning with the forerunners. “The way ahead looks clear.”
His words sent a shiver through me, and I yearned for the secure walls of Tolerance.
“Come, Cassie,” Kerr said. “I will carry you.”
I gratefully let him scoop me up and held on tightly as he, along with a large portion of the group, took off down the road. The soft crunch of footsteps in the snow sounded loud in the silence surrounding us, and the group alertly watched for anything the noise might attract.
Before anything came our way, the highway split into double lanes. It should have been crowded with cars like the road had been on the way here. Instead, everything had already been moved off to the sides and was covered in snow. Was it because someone had already come through and picked the town clean? Or was it because infected had set up some sort of trap ahead? The virgin snow covering the pavement didn’t give me an answer either way.
