Hellbent

by Tina Glasneck

  Thor moved back indoors, while the threat flinched at the sight of Brynhildr and fled.

  “What brings you here, Brynhildr? I didn’t think dear Father would allow you to come,” Thor said, and flexed his hand around Mjölnir’s handle.

  “You need not stress. The prayer of the faithful Sif has brought me here. Freyja would not have anything happen to her, and that means ensuring that something stands between us and the malice that seeks her.”

  “Malice?” I asked.

  She nodded. “It would appear that you’ve taken something that didn’t belong to you.”

  “What?” Chi practically screamed. “Is that true? You stole something.”

  “It’s not like that,” I began. “Verdandi and I—”

  “How did I know she was involved? She’s done nothing good for you.” Chi crossed her arms. When she did that, I knew she was ready for a fight. We were already fighting locust monster giants, and I didn’t want to battle with my best friend.

  “You’ve put us all in harm’s way?” Ola asked.

  “I… I…” I couldn’t form the words to explain what had happened. All I saw was anger, disappointment, and fear. Nothing shattered a friendship like putting the ones you loved in peril.

  “Lady Hel wants faithful Sif,” Brynhildr said, which only made things worse. She frowned. “The gods are more proactive than just sending help.”

  “What do you mean, she wants Sif?” Thor asked.

  “She’s appeared twice and asked for Sif, and the All-Father has denied her request. The horde of locust giants is because you are here with her, Thor.”

  “So, this is a power play. She’s showing what lengths she will go to get you, Sif,” Kristen said.

  “I thought you were sent to help us,” Ola said.

  I didn’t want to think of repercussions and what it meant to see their disappointment. Instead, I rubbed my arms to be rid of the coldness that suddenly seemed present.

  “Well, there might be one down,” Chi said and pointed. “But there are several more to go.”

  In the distance, more locust monster giants had taken shape and now stomped down Main Street, and they all were headed toward the building where we waited.

  “I can’t help feeling like this is all my fault,” I whispered.

  Chi eyed me, and I saw something I never thought to see in her stare—her disgust.

  Just when we thought things couldn’t get worse, it began to rain.

  Chapter 22

  Sif

  Sirens continued to blare outside.

  I pulled back from the window as the rain went on falling.

  “We need to get out of here,” Kristen said.

  I wasn’t sure what she saw, besides water hitting the window. Yet, her voice had become quite shrill. She was starting to come apart, too.

  “And we shall, but who’s going to watch her?” Ola asked. Her voice had fallen an octave or two, and I could tell all of this was too much for her, as well.

  They were starting to talk about me as though I wasn’t there. I might as well not have been. I wasn’t sure how to take me either, considering that tonight I’d passed over the line of morality—but it was either kill or be killed, right? Should I have to be the boogeyman because I’d defended myself and us all?

  Do you think you’ll be safe here, really safe? A strange voice whispered again in my head, like an audiobook in my ears.

  I flinched and tried to push the words away, this tug-of-war between the voice in my head and the strange reality in which I found myself living.

  Even Thor refused to look at me. I’d always thought if we ever met, it would be like walking around in Utopia. The streets would be clean, there would be no crime, dirt, or poverty, and what we would share would be like confetti bombs erupting all around us. He’d realize that I should be his bride, and we’d… we’d what?

  He wasn’t anything like I’d assumed. I’d taken too much of the made-for-TV version of him in and found the real him lacking by comparison. But then again, we hadn’t even truly exchanged words.

  As they all focused on the rain coming down, I eased back into the shadows. I needed to think, to get some clarity. Everything had become a mess, and I don’t know what I’d done to deserve this chaos, any more than I knew what I’d do to deserve a blessing.

  Away from everyone else, with my back against the wall, I slid down to the dusty floor. A sob attempted to pry my lips open, but instead I clenched my teeth. My body shook from my silent cry. Tears raced down my face. My breath burned my throat.

  Fear and regret created a toxic cocktail. If I closed my eyes, surely I’d see what I’d done? Those men weren’t giants; they were hired human henchmen and I’d killed them.

  “Are you okay?” Chi said and sat down next to me.

  “I’m fine.” I could feel emotion beginning to wrack against me.

  “You don’t look fine.”

  “Whatever. I need to get back to campus.”

  “And what about all of this?”

  “What should it matter? He’s a god, let him deal with it.” I pushed up from the wall and walked toward the door.

  “Where are you going?” they all called after me.

  “Sif, you can’t go out there alone,” Thor warned. “She is after you and for a reason.”

  “I’m tired. She’s sent men to attack me, followed by large monsters, and now it’s raining. I don’t know if that is to wash all the debris away or if something bigger and worse is going to come and take a shit on me. I just want to head home.”

  “That’s the first place she’s going to look,” Chi said. “Thor, go with her. We have Brynhildr. She can protect us, or at least get us to safety.”

  “I don’t need him to protect me. I’ll just put him in harm’s way, too.” I was trying so hard to keep it all together, but they kept pushing me. My body began to get warmer. Glancing down at my hands, my fingertips began to change colors, becoming dark shades of blue. “Please,” I pled. “Stop pushing your will on me. I’m fine.”

  “I’ll escort you,” Thor said.

  “You don’t know the way.”

  “But I do know you, Sif.”

  Chapter 23

  Lady Hel, Richmond

  Lady Hel watched Harley pace back and forth in the library, while Garmr raised and lowered his head on the wooly rug. Harley was light on his feet, too light. If she looked at him, one might not have believed him to be the reincarnated Erlking.

  “Did you think I would lie about something so important to me? Have I ever disappointed?” she asked.

  “You might be making a mistake here.”

  “How so? By making it that Odin must indeed show there is honor between the gods?”

  He glanced out the window and turned back to her. “And what of the rain?”

  “It’s simple. Jörmungandr needs water.”

  “You are planning for a flood?”

  “I will ransom Midgard for that which I want.”

  “Is your brother worth it, truly worth it?”

  She leaned back to consider his question. She’d not seen the Midgard Serpent in ages. The last time she saw him, he’d still been land bound and small enough for Odin to pick up. Now, he was supposedly large enough to circumference the entire earth. His name was familiar, but he was spoken of like the distant cousin that no one had any new information on.

  “Should we be judged by their perception of us, as if they have this morality that is better than our own; as if they don’t don the cloaks of hypocrisy to live in their golden city that reflects a vain beauty? They have made us the villains because of our appearance, but if we were more appealing to the eye, how would they treat us then?”

  “I think I am quite handsome.”

  “Well, your crimes are quite atrocious, what with kidnapping people to take them off to the Shadow World, but that is another debate for another day.”

  She rose and crossed her arms over his shoulders.

  “Oh, so my
bad is worse than your own? Do you really wish to debate this?” he asked.

  “Never! I walk in this dichotomy, duality, just as you do and everyone else. How would they react if they were treated like me? If they were simply cursed because of what they are, not because of their character but because of some strange notion of what they must be.”

  “So, are you going back to Asgard to plead your case?”

  “No, we start talking to world leaders. They want to villainize me, now it’s time to do the same to them.”

  Chapter 24

  Sif, Asgard

  “Are you sure you’ll be safe here?” Thor asked.

  His question struck a chord in me. I knew he was honorable, courageous, and the defender of mankind, and if I closed my eyes, I could probably even pretend this was us becoming something.

  Yet, this was not a white room where I could lock out the problems that were chasing me. However, I still found him to be perfection.

  But the timing was off.

  Romance required more than just coming to the rescue. It also required emotional availability, and I wasn’t ready for that.

  Not yet anyway.

  He’s not equipped to help you. What a puny god you worship, the voice said clearer than before.

  I didn’t want to see him, talk to him, or even breathe the same air as he did. Tonight, it seemed like I’d been shadowboxing the entire night with myself. He kept asking questions, and all I wanted him to do was smash a hole in a wall and disappear. One step closer to unleashing this anger in me, an anger that kept building.

  “Tonight, you will have to speak with Freyja. Her words will soothe you.”

  “Shut up already!” I screamed and placed my hands over my ears.

  “I am still a god, you know.”

  “Sorry, Thor, not you. So, sorry. Right now, I just want to disappear.”

  “Then that is what we shall do.”

  Thor called out Heimdall’s name, as he was the only one who could open the gateway to Asgard. “Usually when you must travel there, Freyja has already made these arrangements.”

  “You can’t travel there without Heimdall help?”

  “He is the guardian of the Bridge, the way into Asgard. There are other ways to travel along the tree of Yggdrasil between the different realms, but Heimdell is the easiest way.”

  As we crossed the Bifrost Bridge, it sparkled, refracting the light whereby all of the colors of the rainbow could be seen. The bridge would lead to Asgard.

  “Sort of like walking with a prism?” I said.

  Thor nodded. “You mustn’t fear. This will help you until you can recuperate.”

  “Hi, Heimdell, good to see you again, my friend,” I said to the guardian of the bridge. He stood tall, strong, and brave, like a statue of a Roman soldier that I’d seen during my study abroad trip to Europe with the humanities department. And although he never smiled, I saw a twinkle in his eyes that swirled like a starry night.

  “What brings you here today, Miss Sif?” he asked. “Thor?”

  “She needs to speak with Freyja.” I folded my hands together and bowed my head.

  “Freyja, our queen, will be in the throne room. I believe she awaits you there.”

  I bowed again and made my way across the bridge and paused at the end to stare at the city of Asgard. A city built in layers of gold that reflected and refracted light with streets made of a rich granite. Every time I visited, a part of me rejoiced, like a tuning fork’s hum which vibrated through my bones.

  Within the city walls of Asgard, the gods had their own halls. So far, I hadn’t had the pleasure of seeing where Thor lived.

  “But I’m not here for that,” I whispered and moved toward the largest building, where Freyja would be waiting.

  Those I saw on the street seemed to be different classes of the fantastical—as if they were all from different realms of the nine worlds—everyone from elves to dwarves to trolls, and even what appeared as fae walked along the streets, as well as armed guards wearing Romanesque chainmail and equipped with magical weaponry, at least it seemed that way from the light that danced off their blades.

  When I entered the room, I expected the area to be bare, but instead I was going into a gathering of gods. Thor squeezed my hand in assurance and then moved away from my side.

  The gods sat in the universal circle, with Odin seated high on the throne. Thor cleared his throat and took his seat in the circle. My gaze followed him—he was my one ally. His red hair contrasted with everything else.

  My mouth went dry. Life was too complicated to think about any of this right now.

  “Sif,” Freyja called out and stepped down from her throne. “Please excuse me, my lord,” she said to Odin and the others and came to my side. Her long blonde hair flowed behind her, and on her face rested a bright smile. “Come, we have much to discuss and not much time.”

  I followed her through overly large French doors into what must have been her own private chambers at the hall, for it went from shades of gold to being reminiscent of an outdoor meadow with its flowers and fresh breeze.

  “Thor said this was a good idea, but I’m not too sure. I’m not sure what is going on.”

  “That is completely understandable. You’ve been invisible so long, and now the world will have to look upon you.”

  “Yes.”

  “Because your path is not a straight one but one that is filled with its own amount of twists and turns. There is something I must entrust you with, and it could only take place here, outside of time.”

  “Outside of time?”

  “The time in Asgard does not align to your understanding of time. The gods, all gods, can move through time outside of the heavens, in your time on earth, but not here.”

  “That is why the fate of Baldr cannot be changed?”

  She winced. “What will happen, yes.” She walked over to a wardrobe and reached inside it to retrieve what looked like a large nautilus shell. “I need you to trust me. But this will not hurt. It is a holy gipt, created with the perfection of the sacred. I have chosen you because of your faith. There is no other who could carry this but you.”

  Gipt was the Old Norse term for gift, but I was unsure as to how this gift might be useful to anyone and especially why she’d chosen me to be the carrier of it.

  “This is not the end of what you need to do. The Norns have been very busy in your life for such a time as this.”

  Before I could ask her what she meant, she shoved her hand into my stomach and retrieved the key I’d absorbed.

  “And this is what Lady Hel wants from you.” I felt my skin move and give as if to make room for this foreign thing. I bent over and placed my hand over my stomach. If my mind had been a computer, it would have understood every rune, every nuance of information.

  The orb glowed, a ball of light that resembled an expensive glass pot of jam.

  “Do you wish to stay here?” she asked and placed the orb onto a table. “You know things you should not know to protect the six.”

  “The six?”

  “Long before the dragons were shut away, many had been dispersed throughout human time, a last-ditch effort to save them from the gods’ wrath. This knowledge you have absorbed into your blood stream, but it was not for you to know. But now, you will be the first guardian, and you will bless the world with the others to follow in your path.”

  “Does this curse me?”

  “No, you are blessed beyond all others. Your blood is now magical and can open doors in a way that was not previously possible. Be reminded through the sacred geometry. If you want to be reminded, you need only stare down at your fingertips—they are evidence of this connection.”

  I turned my palms up and stared at my fingertips and watched a shimmer of light pass over them that resembled static electricity.

  “Now go, before word reaches those who might do you harm.”

  “Harm?”

  “You are not to worry. Be the guardian and gather your cr
ew, for the time is near.”

  “I’m not ready for this. I killed men today. My hands are guilty.”

  “It was their time then to perish, as the Norns had destined the day of death for them, be it by your hands or through another means.”

  I shook my head.

  “Spend some time here and learn what you need to continue forward. You must forgive yourself.”

  “And if I choose to go back?”

  “Then that is your decision, but know that the longer you stay here, the more time passes there.”

  I nodded in understanding.

  I needed to fix me before I could help anyone else. The world needed a hero, and I just wanted to be me.

  Chapter 25

  Sif

  “Come with me, and let me show you Asgard to take your mind off this.” Thor took me through the streets of gold toward the tavern. A shout of “Thor!” went up from the crowd in greeting.

  We moved toward one of the wooden tables, where a pitcher of mead was placed, along with two steins.

  He leaned back in his chair. “Tell me, dear Sif, what brings you here?”

  I knew he wasn’t asking as to why I found myself in Asgard.

  I’d planned my funeral. I knew the coffin I wanted to be placed in. The way the satin would feel on my skin. What the words on my tombstone would be as I’d written them numerous times. The pain was inked under my skin, a part of my every waking hour until breathing became harder and lying easier.

  Every day, I bathed in this despair that I couldn’t put into words. I’d been an escape artist, and now in what could be equated to heaven, my skin crawled with thoughts of pain, hurt, confusion. One simple thought snowballed. My mind flashed to so many moons ago when that knife’s teeth had bit into my skin. But that wasn’t the pain I felt. The pain was hopelessness, indifference. The daily task of living when death seemed like a better option. Invisible, except for the Thor’s amulet I wore around my neck. The pendulum would swing back from happiness to despair.