Boyfriend by the Book: A feel good romantic comedy
Page 18
“It’s gorgeous,” I told him, taking the flower. Its pot was ceramic, a beautiful jade green with a spiral pattern around the rim. “You didn’t have to get me anything, though. I was happy to help out. It was for charity, Levi.”
“I know,” he said. “I wanted you to have it, though.”
I set it on top of the bookcase I had purchased from the antique store over in Braxton. The volumes on its shelves were equally vintage, but not collectable ones like Gareth had showed me. Just well-worn editions of my favorite novels, with brittle pages and illustrations that gave them some added charm.
“Sorry the place is kind of a mess,” I told him. If he looked closely, he would see my collection of fuzzy socks and the sweatshirt I had discarded in a pile on the floor. Too late to hide them now. I was just glad the self-help book was nowhere in sight, shoved beneath a stack of magazines where I tried not to consult it for any part of my current relationship.
“I think it looks fine,” he said glancing around. “Very homey. Inviting.”
I smiled. “I think of it as cramped sometimes. And junky. But then, I have a compulsive buying habit that seizes me anytime I’m near an antique store,” I joked.
“I wondered if some of these pieces might be antique,” he said, touching the rocking chair I kept by the bookcase. It was from the 1940s, according to the faded label underneath its seat. “They add so much more character than new furnishings, don’t you think?”
“Definitely,” I said. “Though they're not as comfortable sometimes.” The rocking chair moved as my cat hopped into it, come to inspect the company. "Not that my cat minds," I added.
“Hey there, fella. What’s your name?”
“His name is Basil,” I said. “For the character in my favorite children’s book series.”
“About a cat?” he guessed, scratching Basil’s ears as the cat purred approvingly.
“No, actually. A rat. I don’t know why I thought of naming a cat after it, but it seemed like a good idea somehow.”
“Why not?” he asked. “I think it’s a good name for a cat— or a rat, for that matter. Right, boy?”
Basil rubbed against his hand before hopping down to visit his food dish. Levi jammed his hands in the pockets of his bomber jacket. I realized awkward silence had settled over us.
“Would you like something to drink? I have—” I broke off, pulling open the fridge door to see what was available. “Orange juice, water, and soda.”
“Orange juice sounds nice,” he said.
I pulled two glasses from the cabinet, Levi sitting down on one of the stools at the bar. After a moment, he asked, “Were you going on a date?”
I couldn’t see his face, my back turned to him as I poured the beverages. His voice seemed strained for the question, though. Tense and slightly unhappy. Was it for the reasons I had suspected before things went wrong?
“I was,” I told him. “But he had to cancel at the last minute. We rescheduled for tomorrow night, though.”
“Lucky for him,” he said. "He wouldn't want to miss an evening out with you. Not if he has any brains."
“Thanks,” I mumbled. I handed him the glass of orange juice. Sitting across from him, I tried to sound casual. “We’ve only been out a few times, so it’s still pretty new. Even though I knew him back in college days.”
“An old flame,” he suggested, smiling faintly for the idea. I shook my head.
“More like an old crush. He was way out of my league back then.”
“I doubt that,” Levi said.
Something in his voice made it difficult for me to look at him. Afraid of what I might see on his face—or that I was misreading him again, perhaps. There was no reason for him to care about my date with Connor. He had already won the heart of a beautiful girl that shared his passion for growing things. Heck, she ran a plant nursery. How much more perfect could you get as far as a match for a landscape artist?
“How is the landscape business going?” I asked, sipping from my glass. “Are you starting another project soon?”
He nodded. “A center for troubled youth. We’re hoping some of the kids will pitch in and help with the planting. Maybe find a better hobby then the ones that landed them there in the first place.”
“That’s great,” I told him. “I wish I could help, but work is busier than usual. We’re about to hit the wedding season and I’ll be working more weekends to help with that. Lots of receptions to oversee.”
“Probably your boyfriend wouldn’t care much for it either,” he suggested. “You’ll want to see him with your free weekends. And your friends too.”
I studied him, seeing traces of hurt in his expression. Why did this bother him? I felt pins and needles starting to build, my laughter a little shaky. “Connor’s not exactly my boyfriend," I answered, trying to sound casual about it. "Not yet anyway. We’re just spending time together, seeing what happens.”
“You like him, though,” he suggested.
“I think so.”
I knew I should say more — something more definite about me and Connor, for instance — but found myself short on words for some reason. The topic of my relationship with Connor didn’t inspire a lot of conversation for me at this moment. Levi was watching me, holding his glass but not drinking from it. A moment later, he set it down and got to his feet.
“I’m sorry, Jodi. Maybe I shouldn’t have dropped by like this. I should probably go now.”
“Wait,” I said. “You don’t have to go. Why would you say that?”
He stopped, looking back at me. “Because…well, I like you, Jodi." He took a deep breath. "As more than a friend. I have for a long time.”
My breath seemed to freeze with the words. I could scarcely believe he was saying this. What about Heather? What about the girl you're dating? This didn’t seem possible.
“But it doesn't matter, because you’re seeing someone else," he continued. "You tried to tell me and I wouldn’t listen. So I thought we could just be friends but…well, I’m afraid that just isn’t working for me. I really am sorry.”
I stared at him, too shocked to speak. When I finally managed to, all I could say was, “Levi, I don’t understand.”
He held up a hand, cutting off any further protests. “I know, I know. I’m just a random delivery guy you met at work. This must seem completely out of the blue. I never should have mentioned any of this.”
He turned and walked out before I could say another word, closing the door behind him. By the time I came to my senses and followed him, the stairwell was empty. I raced down it anyway, reaching the lobby in time to see his truck pulling out of the parking lot. I watched it out of sight, tail lights disappearing in the dusk.
Levi had feelings for me. But why hadn't all of this happened before Connor showed up? Why hadn't he told me beforehand? I was completely unprepared for this. I had no idea what to do next.
~24~
“I thought we could order in tonight. Maybe eat on the patio, if it’s not too cool for you.” Connor ushered me inside, his apartment at the Welby the most exclusive building in that part of the city. I had never been inside it before. It felt more like a penthouse than an apartment. It was ultra modern, with chrome fixtures and stainless steel appliances, an armless sofa and chairs all in matching ivory. The walls were red brick and so was the gas fireplace mantel. I imagined there were several more rooms down the hall, the space overwhelming compared to my tiny apartment across town.
“You look fantastic as always,” he told me, leaning down to kiss my cheek.
I smiled, but it felt forced. I hadn’t taken as much care with my appearance tonight, my thoughts in a muddle after what happened with Levi.
Levi. His confession had played through my mind over and over last night, making it difficult to sleep. I kept thinking of the look on his face right before he left. It had been so hurt and frustrated. I knew that he meant what he said about his feelings for me. I just didn’t know what it meant for anything else in
my life.
I thought he was seeing someone. Was he? Or was it all in my mind? Why hadn't he said something before — before I read that stupid book, or ran into Connor in the lobby and started reliving my old crush?
“I thought we could start with some wine,” Connor said, moving towards the kitchen with its stainless steel décor. “The food is from a restaurant I’ve eaten at several times since I got here. The Merlot,” he said, naming the last place I had eaten on behalf of the Regent. The one where I felt so conspicuous sitting alone, right before I hit a low point and turned to the relationship book for help. It was ironic, in a way.
“They have a great menu,” I answered, realizing I should say something. I thought about telling him about my experience there, but he didn’t seem to notice I'd said anything, busy fetching some wine glasses from an upper cabinet.
I watched from the doorway as he uncorked a bottle of red. He certainly was very handsome. Dashing even. I thought about the night he walked into the Regent, chasing off the villains who were harassing me. It had seemed romantic at the time, but everything that came after it had paled in comparison. Seemed forced or surreal, as if we were both afraid of moving beyond stories about the past, or the best of what we were now. That worried me a little.
“How’d your meeting go last night?” I asked, struggling to stay in the moment. I had assumed his bosses had set up a final phone conference, since the merger deal was all but wrapped up after Monday’s big dinner.
“Like most business meetings,” he replied. “I’m used to it, though. I don’t know what I would do if I had free time, anyway. Other than travel, of course.”
“Mm.” I tried to imagine traveling the way that Connor did. It would be amazing to see those exotic locations, of course. He made them sound very exciting. If I asked, he would probably tell me more about them. He liked to talk about his experiences and didn’t require too much feedback, I had noticed.
A cell phone began to ring. I checked my purse, but mine wasn’t even turned on. And Connor’s was lying on the kitchen bar. “Where is that coming from?” I asked.
He didn’t answer, busy tasting the wine from his glass. He hadn't even heard it yet. I followed the ringing sound to the living room. Glancing around, I saw it sticking out from between the sofa cushions. A small pink cell phone with gold stars on the outer case.
Now where had I seen that recently?
In a flash, I remembered: Veronica, the sexy businesswoman at the dinner last Monday. She had taken out a cell phone like this, scrolling through it during the speaking portion of the dinner. Looking at this one, I felt certain it must belong to her.
“Connor.” I held up the phone, which had started to ring again. “When was Veronica here? I thought you and Roger settled the business details already.”
He glanced up from his glass, a frown on his face. “What are you talking about? Where did that come from?”
“Your sofa cushions,” I said. “It’s Veronica’s, isn’t it? She was using a phone that looked just like this at the dinner on Monday.”
He came towards me, taking the phone from my hand. “She must have left it here by accident. I’ll drop it by Roger’s office later this week.” He turned it off and set it on the bar beside his own. I could tell he considered the subject closed. “Why don’t you go light the candles?” he asked. “I’ve set out the dishes already. The food should be here any minute.”
“Is that why you canceled our date last night?" I asked. "Because Veronica and Roger came by?” I imagined he hadn't wanted to bore me with another evening's business conversation. In a way, I was glad.
He paused. “It was only for a half hour or so," he answered. "She needed some advice on a business contract and thought I could offer some insights. It was no big deal. A bottle of wine, a little conversation ... but I was afraid it might run late, so I decided we'd just move our dinner date to another night.”
The full meaning of this statement hit me. “She was alone then?” I asked.
Connor let out a sigh, an exasperated edge to his smile. “She dropped by out of the blue," he said. "Relax. All we did was talk about some legal details for a business venture she’s thinking about. I should have told you, but I thought this might happen.”
So she was here alone. I didn’t need a pencil to connect the dots on why. She was obviously attracted to Connor—she made that clear at the dinner we had attended. The possibility he knew it too was growing stronger every second he tried to brush the evening off.
“She just wanted some advice,” he repeated. “I figured I would help her out. Like I said, I knew this would happen if I told you. Women are so suspicious about this kind of thing. Sheesh.”
He reached for my shoulder, but I pulled away. First he lied to me about the reason we couldn’t meet last night. Now he was telling me it didn’t matter, I should just forget it? Did he think I would really just accept that?
I crossed my arms, facing him. “Are you interested in her, Connor? Just be honest with me. That’s all I’m asking," I said. "I know how she feels about you. You can't have missed that unless you're completely dense." Anger edged my voice.
“Look, Jodi,” he began. “I like you—I always have. But it's too early for us to make a commitment. I mean, you’re seeing other people, right? You said before you were dating.” He paused. "It's not that I'm interested in her — I just don't see why it would be a big deal if I spent an evening with another woman. Especially since you haven't exactly let our relationship go full steam ahead."
I tried not to let my jaw drop. "Just because I'm not fawning all over you every second doesn't mean I wasn't interested in having something more," I snapped. "It just meant I wanted to be sure that it wasn't a — a fling. That it was serious, and we had a future in mind." The words were hard to find when I was this angry. "Not just a convenient relationship for while you were in town."
"I don't expect you to be exclusive," he said. "What about that author you had coffee with? The one you mentioned a couple of times? Don't think your casual little phrases disguised the truth from me, Jodi. He wasn't just a casual friend of yours."
“I don’t think I’m ‘seeing’ other people the same way you are,” I answered. Now I was imagining things with Veronica had gone very differently than my meetings with Gareth — or the time I spent with Levi these past few weeks.
“If it bothers you that much, I won’t see her again." He sighed, as if he had made a big concession, one that would make a difference. “I’ll tell her there was a misunderstanding, my letting her come here. I would do that for you, Jodi, if it means so much. Just say the word.”
Unbelievable. I shook my head. "Not if this is just because of how I feel," I answered, quietly.
“I really do feel a special connection between us," said Connor. "One that's worth exploring." His hand cupped my face. "And if I thought you felt the same, I'm open to it. I think we could have a great time, no matter how long it lasts.”
He gazed into my eyes with a tender look. A carefully practiced look, I thought. His smile was already in place, confident I would believe him and accept.
The trouble was, I didn't want something that would only last a few weeks or a few months. I wanted something that might last for the rest of my life. Even if Connor was open to that possibility, I didn't think it could happen with him. Not after the words he had just said, ones which had nothing to do with a future of respect and understanding.
“I'm sorry, Connor," I said, gently. "But I don’t feel that special connection. I don't think this is meant to be. So I guess you can tell Veronica to drop by anytime she feels like it. Or anybody else you want to see.”
He raised his eyebrows, surprised. “Wait a minute," he said. "You’re upset. I can understand that. Let’s take a breather, then we can talk this over —”
“No, let’s not," I interrupted. "You've said what you wanted to say, and I don't want to wait for you to come up with words that will change my mind. You wouldn’t me
an any of them. You’re not a Romeo,” I added, thinking of that stupid book once again. “You’re a Casanova. And that's not what I'm looking for.”
He let out a laugh, as if my words were just a joke. But I think he realized I wasn’t kidding when I walked out and closed the door behind me.
~25~
The next day was hard to face, my alarm clock going off like an explosion inside my head. For the second night in a row I had gotten next to no sleep. I was angry at myself because I felt foolish over Connor, especially when I realized how easily I had let myself be fooled by his charming manners and good looks. I let him reshape my memory of the past, when he was an athlete who only noticed me when he needed help with a difficult English assignment.
A glance at my past comments on our school alumni’s webpage had told me everything. I had mentioned my love for daisies, even my peanut butter allergy on a post about cafeteria desserts. It was all there, waiting for Connor to use it to play me, and score a convenient relationship while he was in town.
As for what to do about Levi, my feelings were completely confused. He liked me — I liked him — but there was no answer for things between him and Heather, or for why he had walked out without letting me reply the other night.
There were no answers gained from tossing and turning, just a headache that stuck with me as I got ready for work, my eyes bloodshot and blurry looking in the mirror.
“Connor just seemed so perfect,” Monique told me, her voice brimming with disbelief on the speaker phone in my car. She had called me on the way to work to say the fitting for my bridesmaid’s dress needed to be scheduled. I guess my snuffly voice betrayed my emotions, my friend telling me to spill the details a moment later.
“I can tell you really cared about him,” she said. “This is just terrible, Jodi.”
“It wasn’t that,” I told her. “I mean, I thought he was a better guy than he seemed, but I wasn’t in love with him or anything. I’m just disappointed in myself.”