His jaw clenched. “It sure feels that way.”
“I’m just asking for a few days to craft my own solution to the problem.”
One that would leave her heart and soul intact.
He leaned forward intently. “I think we should craft one together.”
Erin shook her head. “I can’t do that, not without worrying about what you want, and giving short shrift to what I want.”
He let his arms fall to his sides. “You’re selling us short.”
“I’m being honest.”
Defeat glimmered in his blue eyes. “If the answer is no, just say no.”
Feeling cornered, Erin blinked away her tears. “I can’t do that, because I’m not sure it is no. And I’m not sure it’s yes, either. I still just don’t know!”
A skeptical silence fell. “Then what do you want?” he said after a moment.
Still wishing she could throw herself in his arms and make love to him until the whole world fell away, she met his gaze with raw honesty. “I want to stop feeling so pressured. By the community members who want lower utility bills, by the rural residents who want constant electricity, and by my family who want to be free, but who might one day really lament not having this ranch to call home.”
She cleared her throat. “And most importantly, I don’t want to be pressured by you. We both know you want to make the best deal possible for North Wind Energy so you can present the whole idea to the county commissioners for a vote, two days from now.”
He rubbed his jaw, considering. Then leaned back against the counter, understanding her as much as he always had. “That is a lot of pressure,” he said at last.
“Yes. It is,” Erin replied emotionally, her knees sagging in relief that they’d gotten this far in their admittedly inefficient communications. “Thank you.”
Still keeping his distance, he studied her. “So what do you need from me—if not answers to any more questions?”
Erin drew a deep breath, very much aware she could be laying down the deal breaker for their personal relationship. “I need you to accept that there is no more ‘us’ until all of this is over, Mac,” she said seriously. “And that you find a way to make peace with whatever the final outcome ends up being.”
* * *
“I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’RE letting this deal go after all the work you’ve put in,” Louise told Mac over the phone Thursday afternoon.
He pulled on the custom leather boots Erin had left for him. Buffed to a sheen, they were unbelievably comfortable and spiffy looking. “That’s not what is happening here.”
“Then suppose you explain why you haven’t gotten everyone on board just two hours before the county commissioners meeting. Especially Erin Monroe.”
“She asked me to give her space to make the decision. So I have.” And it had been hard as hell doing so, when he knew she was running all over the county, talking to everyone but him about what she should do.
“Since when has that stopped you? Mac, you’re one of the best executives North Wind Energy has! You never let anyone or anything get in the way of success. You do what you have to do to seal the deal.”
That was him, all right. At least before he had arrived in Laramie County and met the good-hearted people here. Suddenly, it was about more than the units sold or the profits tallied. It was about actual human beings. Their needs, wishes, dreams.
Right now it was about Erin.
And her needs and wishes and dreams.
No doubt about it, he was off his game, professionally.
Personally, he’d never been closer to getting everything he ever wanted. That is, before Erin’s ex-husband had burst in with the accusations that had brought her up short.
“Need I remind you that in order to become head of a regional sales office, you first have to make the deal in Laramie County?”
That had been the plan, Mac thought. “I’m not giving up on that,” he said. No matter what, he knew where Heather and he belonged.
“And there’s nothing you can do to convince Erin Monroe to sign on the dotted line?”
“Using unfair influence is not my style.” He sighed. “Besides, that kind of pressure never works in the long run. Regrets set in, recriminations follow, then anger. Sometimes lawsuits.”
Louise saw his point. “We don’t need any ugliness down there. Not when we’re trying to establish a real presence in the Texas wind energy scene.”
“My thoughts exactly.”
“So what is going to happen at the county commissioners meeting this evening?” she pressed.
“I was notified this morning I’m the thirty-sixth speaker on the agenda.”
Louise made a sound that was half laugh, half moan. “Will they even get to you?”
Maybe sometime after midnight, when most of the residents had given up and gone home, Mac thought. “Depends on how long-winded they are.”
His boss paused. “Is this a concerted effort to stop North Wind Energy?”
“I have no clue.” All Mac knew for sure was that the first speaker on the agenda this evening was Erin. She’d be followed by attorney Travis Anderson and another lawyer. And then a whole host of other ranchers, including the Briscoes and the Armstrongs.
Once again, he was the odd man out in a sea of fiercely independent, kick-butt Texans. And he couldn’t help but think he had Erin to thank for it.
His sense of exclusion and betrayal increased tenfold when he got to the community center, where the meeting was being held. The county commissioners sat behind a table on the stage. Five hundred local citizens filled the folding chairs set out on the floor. Local news camera crews were set up in the corners of the room. Sammy, Stevie and Heather were back at the ranch, in the care of a sitter, while Erin and her siblings gathered with their family attorneys in an area near the podium.
Mac greeted a few of the people he knew, then took a seat in the back, folder in hand. The Boy Scouts came in, carrying the county, state and American flags. The minister said a blessing, and the meeting was called to order.
Erin was introduced, and she walked to the microphone.
In a denim skirt, fancy red boots, T-shirt and embroidered cotton vest, her curly blond hair loose and flowing over her shoulders, she had never looked prettier. Or more at ease.
“Hello, everyone.” She flashed the grin that always got him straight in the heart. “I know we’re all frustrated with the shortage of electric power in the county, and we’ve all been looking for a solution. With the help of a few experts in the field, I think I may have finally located one.”
Good to know, Mac thought resentfully. Now if only she’d told him first what it was!
“We started out talking about putting all the wind turbines on one property, my family’s ranch. And while I see the logic behind that, because we aren’t currently using the Triple Canyon for agricultural purposes,” Erin continued seriously, “I’m no more willing to give up my family heritage to a wind farm than anyone else here. So Mac Wheeler—a very nice guy you’ve all met...” Erin searched the crowd until she saw him and smiled intimately.
Everyone turned to look at him, as if wondering why he was the odd man out if he and Erin were on such friendly terms.
Good question, Mac thought irritably.
He’d tried to be supportive. Gentlemanly. Suddenly, all he felt like was a wuss. And a pitied one at that!
Taking a deep breath, Erin continued, “When Mac started talking to some other ranchers to see if we couldn’t share the wealth—so to speak—again, that was also met with mixed results, for the very same reason. Everyone wants to help out in theory, but when it comes to putting all those turbines on one property, people start to hesitate.”
A murmur of assent rolled through the room.
“The county could of course exercise eminent domain and commandeer the property needed,” Erin said, turning to look at the commissioners, “but no one wants to see that happen.”
The crowd murmured in agreement.
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Erin continued with a smile that confirmed she was the natural leader Mac had always deemed her to be. “So that started me thinking about who has been most affected by these rolling blackouts, and it’s all the far-flung ranchers and rural residents. People who have land to spare, and who might agree to have a couple of hundred-foot towers on their property if those towers provided the electricity to run their ranches.”
Mac began to see where this was going. Intrigued, he sat forward in his chair.
“So I looked into that and found out—just as Mac Wheeler once told me—that the towers currently available to individual users are generally much smaller and only make enough power to run a couple of appliances, at best.” Erin sobered. “The ones that could run an entire ranch are so prohibitively expensive the individual ranchers would be hard-pressed to afford them. The county, on the other hand, already has money budgeted for the towers. So...” Erin paused to look the audience in the eye. “If we were to work out a deal between the landowners and the county, we just might have a solution that provides power and scattered towers across the entire county—”
“It’s a good idea,” a county commissioner interrupted, “but connecting all those towers to the power plant would increase the cost substantially.”
And they weren’t going to go for that, Mac knew.
He stood and lifted a hand. “If I may...”
With a nod from the chairman, he was given the floor.
Mac walked up to the microphone and took his place next to Erin. “It might work if, rather than trying to connect them all to one main source and then fanning out power from there, we used the couple of towers on each ranch to power it and its neighbors, individually.” Mac looked at Travis Anderson and the lawyer he’d brought with him, a wind energy expert. “Granted, it would be complicated to hash out and would require a lot of work on the legal end of things. But if the county owned and installed the towers—and the residents gave up the land required, for a nominal leasing fee per year, and then paid the county for the electricity they used—it just might work.”
“What about the town itself?” another resident asked, when called upon. “Are Laramie businesses and residences going to have enough electricity without expanding the plant?”
The director of public utilities shook her head. “No. They won’t. We still need to bump up the capacity substantially, to prevent future problems.”
Erin looked at Mac. “I’d be willing to have a hundred fifty of the required towers on Monroe land, as long as the thousand acres around the house and barns, and one of the canyons—the bluffs where we have a picnic pavilion—”
The bluffs, Mac thought, where the two of them had made love, and later, shared family time with everyone else.
“—are left intact,” Erin continued. “If all of those towers are connected to the power plant, as originally planned, it would be enough for everyone else.”
The crowd cheered enthusiastically. The county commissioner chairing the meeting banged his gavel and grinned. “Ladies and gentlemen, it looks like we may have a solution!”
To the wind energy problem, yes, Mac thought.
The situation between him and Erin was a different matter altogether. It appeared they were now further apart than ever...and he had no clue how to tear down the walls she’d put up between them.
* * *
“CONGRATULATIONS, ERIN!” the county commissioners said.
“Job well done!” Marybeth Simmons declared.
Darcy hugged Erin. “We knew we could count on you!”
And so it went for the next hour. Every time she tried to make her way to Mac’s side, she was intercepted again. By the time she had spoken to the last well-wisher, he was gone. “Maybe I’ll catch up with him back at the ranch,” she told Nicholas.
“I don’t think so,” her brother said. “I just talked to the twins. They said Mac picked up Heather a few minutes ago. He took his bags with him.”
Erin’s heart sank. “Where did he go?”
Nicholas shrugged. “He said something about having to go to Philadelphia. Heather wasn’t too happy. She was crying because they had to leave so unexpectedly.”
A fresh wave of panic set in. “Did he say when he would be back?” Erin asked.
Her brother shook his head. “He told the twins he didn’t know.” Nicholas paused. “Do you think he’s mad at you?”
Erin huffed. “Why would he be angry with me?”
Walking up to join them, Gavin rolled his eyes. “Duh. You blindsided him with your proposal, sis. The dude recovered nicely, but I don’t think there was anyone here tonight who didn’t know you deliberately cut Mac out of the solution-seeking process.” Gavin shook his head. “That had to be embarrassing. Especially given how sweet he used to be on you.”
Nicholas agreed. In fact, both her brothers were acting as if she and Mac were now over. Kaput. And all because of her. “He knows why I had to do it that way,” Erin protested. They’d had an agreement, which Mac had honored, despite his ambitions. A fact that had proved to her G.W. was wrong—Mac did care about her immensely.
Maybe he didn’t love her.
But love wasn’t everything.
She had been foolish to believe it was.
What counted was what she and Mac had together. Their friendship and their passion, and the genuine way they cared about each other and their kids. “Besides,” Erin continued defensively, “we worked together in the end.”
Gavin scoffed. “He saved his deal from going under, Erin. There’s a difference between that and working together, which, by the way, you did not do.”
Erin glared at her brothers. They were wrong to crush her hopes and dreams this way. She folded her arms. “I’m sure I’ll hear from Mac soon.”
But she didn’t.
Not that night. Nor the next day. Or the day after that.
Erin thought about calling him, then decided not to.
Maybe Mac needed his space, to work out things on his end, just as she had. If that was the case, when he was ready to speak with her, he would call her.
They’d talk about things and work everything out.
She told herself that throughout the entire weekend, and she was still telling herself that Monday morning. She even believed it, until the petite, crisp-looking brunette walked into Monroe’s Monday afternoon.
“Erin? I’m Louise Steyn.” Mac’s boss handed over her card. “Executive VP of Sales. North Wind Energy. I’ll be handling the negotiations with you and your family from this point forward.”
Erin blinked. “Mac agrees with this?” And if so, what did that mean?
Louise smiled. “He requested it. He thinks it will be better this way.”
Erin fought back tears. “So he’s not coming back?” Not ever?
“On the contrary. He’s busy setting up office space in the new professional building down the street from the community center.”
Stunned, heartbroken, Erin could only stare. “He’s going to be working here?” And he didn’t tell me?
What did that intimate? Did she even want to know?
Louise studied Erin. “You can get any further details on that subject from him. What you and I should discuss are the contract terms. Is there a place we can talk privately?”
Reluctantly, Erin turned her attention to business. To her relief, Louise was as fair and considerate as Mac had been. Erin confirmed her family’s agreement and directed Louise to Travis Anderson to complete the contract.
Finished, Erin went to find Mac. He was in his office, unpacking. He looked incredibly handsome, as expected. And incredibly reserved, which was not. A plaque already on the door said:
North Wind Energy Texas Headquarters
Mac Wheeler, Regional Vice President,
Marketing and Sales
Erin stared, the numbness she’d felt for days fading. In its place was a raw devastation. Somehow, she found her voice and her smile. “Did you get a promotion?” she asked, surprise
d at how tentative her voice could sound.
He kept working. “Yes.”
Erin swallowed and moved past the open portal. “Congratulations.”
He flashed his most impersonal smile. “Thank you.”
The silence continued.
Obviously, he wasn’t going to make this easy on her. The question was, would he let her back in at all? Her heart pounding, Erin pointed to the sign. “Does this mean you’re back permanently?”
He nodded.
“Where’s Heather?”
“Her Montessori school.”
Erin edged closer. When she neared, she saw the circles beneath his eyes, which meant he had been sleeping as poorly as she. “Is she doing all right?”
Mac ripped open another box. “She’s a lot better, now that we’re back in Laramie.” He frowned. “She probably won’t be all that happy about staying at the Laramie Inn, or about the house hunting we’re going to be doing this afternoon, though.”
Erin moved closer still. She inhaled the brisk masculine fragrance of his aftershave lotion. “You don’t want to stay at the ranch with us anymore?”
He turned a level look her way. “I don’t think that’s wise. Do you?”
No doubt about it, the barrier around her heart was totally gone. She could feel the pain, knew she was losing him. “I understand why you’re upset with me.”
Mac moved around to sit on the edge of his desk. “Do you?” he challenged.
Erin nodded, ready to grovel, if that’s what it took. “I blindsided you at the meeting. I should have told you my plan.”
Mac inclined his head, his emotional barriers still intact. “Why didn’t you?”
Erin suddenly knew what it felt like to come up against a brick wall. She spread her hands helplessly. “I wasn’t sure you’d agree, or even think it was possible. And I didn’t want to argue with you about it when I knew in my gut that my idea would work.”
And it had.
Mac was near enough to pull her into his arms. Instead, he sat there, hands resting idly on his spread thighs, eyes locked on her face. “And that’s the only reason you shut me out?” he queried, even more softly.
The Texas Rancher's Family Page 18
