by Angela Foxxe
The fur and muscle plopped unceremoniously to the ground and I felt the pain that was associated with death, a deep unbeatable gloom of grief washed over me. I knew that it would have been somewhere on the outer edge of terrible to see his body lying before me. I would have broken, but I was lucky. I didn’t see anything. Instead I searched, my eyes snapped from one target to the next. I knew that I had to find him and I started to stretch myself through the fight. There were too many of them, one after another. I searched the melee for any sign of Torrance. I couldn’t see anything.
Someone must have seen me, because people were running at me. Not just people, animals, great beasts of seemingly mythical proportions. I knew what the world expected of me. I knew what I was going to be. My head propped itself up, straightening my spine as I stood with pride. I knew who I was, and I felt important. That confidence would fade in time as the bodies drew closer and closer. These creatures weren’t my friends. They definitely did not have my best interest in mind and I was likely to die in this moment.
I wondered what the orders were. Had they been commanded to take me alive? I had no idea. I wondered if it would be worth taking the chance to stand up. I knew that I would have to make a decision, and I would only have a matter of seconds to make it. I felt the world rise up around me and for a brief moment everything made sense. I knew what I had to do, but it didn’t last. The moment was over and it was time to force my body into movement. I assumed what I guessed was a fighting stance. I had seen it on movies and television. I guessed it was right, but there was amusement in my attackers’ eyes. They had begun to see the kind of pain that I could inflict, and they realized that I was about as weak as a small kitten. I shuddered to think that they knew that about me. I stared at the beasts, not knowing what I was going to do and for the first time in my life I hoped for a savior. There was no way that I could have made it through this and come out without losing something. That something could have been my life. What could one human do against the power of these beasts? I didn’t have a gun or any way to defend myself and smoke was still pouring out of the building. There was nowhere to hide, no place to run. I didn’t stand a chance.
I took a deep breath. I could hear my chest shaking with the terror that I felt. There was something about the moment that we shared, something about that time that gave me some semblance of strength. I thought of Torrance. I thought of the child that I carried within my body. I knew that I had to stand up. I wasn’t going to give up and die. There was no way that it would work for me to do anything other than what I needed to do. I stared at them, my eyes locked on the beasts that were coming to attack me. I knew that the world wanted something from me and I would never get it if I didn’t stand up and make it happen. They were going to stand in my way.
My confidence surged again. My back straightened, my shoulders went square. I knew that the world wanted me to do something about it. I had to act. I readied myself for the beating that I was about to receive and searched momentarily for a weapon. There was a pipe near me, something that looked like it had been ripped from some sort of drainage or irrigation system. Something made me grin. It was like the heavens were smiling down on me as it literally handed me what I needed.
Had this been a movie I would have been upset. A deus ex machina was the word that literary scholars used and it should never have happened, but it was free, lying there on the ground, sitting at my feet. I reached down and gripped it, holding it in my right hand, my stronger arm. I was ready to fight. I felt that fate was on my side, like I had a certain destiny about me in that moment. All because of a single metal pipe that had been ripped from somewhere during the combat. I was grateful for it. I found myself feeling the surge of confidence, but it faded as soon as it formed.
I was outgunned and outmatched and I recognized the tiger coming toward me. It was her, the woman that had kidnapped me and taunted me in that dark basement. I knew her immediately, her beautiful scars and white coat. She still had the same savage beauty and it only captured my attention in the first moment. I knew that I was going to have to fight. I was surrounded; there was nowhere to run.
I knew that my actions would have consequences. I knew that I would have to live with whatever happened to me and I had a feeling that the world was slipping through my fingers. My palms started to sweat as they stepped closer. I knew that they were playing with me now, messing with my head so that I would give up in fear. It didn’t matter what I was feeling, what tricks my mind was playing with me. I wasn’t going to let that happen. I knew that I had to do something about the world that I was living in. I had to stand up for myself. I had to change things, but I didn’t really know how. Could anyone ever know how to change the world?
I didn’t have time to think about that. The enemies were nearly within reach now and I had to act. I swung out, full strength, with my pipe. It connected with a wolf that had just made his way within range. He whimpered and stepped back momentarily. He was in shock at first. I didn’t know what to tell him, not that it was really a time for a conversation, but a part of me wanted to apologize. Maybe it was the patriarchy, that cultural thing that makes women want to apologize for defending themselves. That didn’t matter. I could wrestle with social justice later. Right now I had to survive or all of the philosophy in the world wouldn’t matter.
My arm hurt. I knew that much. It was a sudden realization as I swung a second time. I wasn’t used to swinging like that. I wasn’t used to fighting with a weapon. Heck, I wasn’t used to fighting at all. I knew that they weren’t going to give me a break and I managed to surprise a few more shifters with the strength that I carried. I had never exactly been known as demure; instead I had been sturdy, strong, and powerful. I liked it that way.
Still I fought on, swinging and dodging. It was starting to look like that shifters weren’t here to kill me. They could have ripped my throat out several times over. I knew that. There was no secret, but I wondered why I was so important. I couldn’t be that special. No one was worth risking lives and starting a war over. Well maybe there were some people worthy of that, but I was no Helen of Troy. I wasn’t someone who was into this sort of thing either. I didn’t like the idea of being fought over like I was some piece of meat. I deserved better. I knew that I was going to get it someday if I could just keep fighting a little longer.
I tried my best to ignore the aching in my joints. I wanted to quit, to give up. I hurt so badly, but I didn’t have a choice. I knew that the only thing that was keeping me going at this point was adrenaline. I just didn’t know how much longer that was going to last me. I had to keep going. I was talking myself up, reminding myself almost constantly of the consequences of quitting. I couldn’t afford to lose this fight, but it wasn’t going well. The shifters seemed to be just fine with letting me wear myself down while they watched with delight in their eyes.
The initial shock my willingness to fight back was gone. Now they were anticipating my next moves and there was no way that I could see to get out. I needed to do something unexpected. It only took me a few seconds to come up with a plan. I had to do it. It was my only chance. I drew in a deeply ragged breath, filling my lungs to capacity. In an explosive exhalation, I screamed and charged toward the right tiger, flailing my weapon out in front of me. I knew that I wouldn’t do well if she wasn’t surprised so I hoped that I hadn’t telegraphed my moves.
Apparently, it was going to work. She stepped to the side in surprise and I was able to slide right by her. It gave me the freedom to move so I ran away, as fast as I could and searched for a way out of the fighting. The only thing that I could see was to go back into the mansion and it was still pouring out smoke, still I could see that the side of the house that the servants stayed in seemed like there was less smoke. Maybe I could go over there, if I could figure out how to get through the house.
It was my only hope, so bravely I plunged myself back into the darkness. It was the only chance that I had, and I didn’t find myself having a whole lot o
f choice in the matter. I was just a human, granted I was a special human, but that didn’t mean that I had any interesting superpower. No, my superpower was the ability to have shifter babies. What a mess.
“Hey! Stop!” I heard his voice and my heart leaped.
I turned. “What are you doing?”
“Trying to get away. They’re after me!” I panted, nearly in tears as I looked at Torrance. He was alive. For some reason I had been picturing him lying dead in his bedroom, somewhere where I didn’t find him in time.
“You can’t go back in there.” He ran up to me. I wanted to hug him, to thank him for saving me, but he hadn’t really saved me. I had done the work and saved myself. Still I felt the urge to hug and thank him. Maybe I wanted to thank him for saving himself. I can’t really explain my feelings at that moment, but the next moment I could explain it, very clearly in fact.
“Where the hell were you?”
“Huh?”
“Where were you? I went into your room, trying to find you, but you weren’t there.”
“You went searching for me?” He looked confused. Looking back now I couldn’t blame him for that, but at the time I wasn’t having any of it.
“Yes, I did. I didn’t know where you were and there was smoke everywhere. I wasn’t just going to leave and not check to see if you were injured or something.”
“I wasn’t in my room.”
“Yeah, I just figured that out.” My voice dripped with sarcasm.
“I’m sorry, but I don’t have time to fight over this right now. We’ve got to get you to safety. Maybe to see a doctor or a healer or something.”
“You’re just going to leave this?”
“I don’t see much choice.” He shrugged. Someone else was behind him. They told him to take me and go. It was almost as if the conversation had been planned, but it seemed too natural. The woman who was calling was fighting and was in the process of changing back to her human form. There was no way that it could have been planned through all of the smoke and chaos.
“You can’t just make this decision.”
“Fine, I won’t, but do you really want to stay around here?”
“Not really, but it’s my choice.”
“Then make the choice.” He sighed, but we had spent enough time fighting over choices and my ability to make them that he knew well enough to back off. That had been the major point of contention between us. It was one of those things that seemed to be never ending and it wasn’t going to end even as an epic battle of shifters raged around us. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. I’m just trying to keep you safe, keep you free.”
“I get that, but I need to make my own choices.” A wolf or some other large canine flew by me, the body stiff and a growl coming out of its mouth. I didn’t know whether it was a good guy or a bad guy, but the creature ignored the fight that was going on between me and Torrance and jumped back into combat with the bear that had batted him away like a misbehaving puppy.
“Fine. We’ll do whatever you want, but you might want to make the decision soon before everyone else makes it for you.” He groaned. I knew that he didn’t want to deal with this at this moment.
I sighed. I was just being stubborn for the sake of being stubborn. My mother had called it my mule streak for a reason and I knew that it would only get me into trouble. “Fine, let’s go.” I stared at him, my eyes hard. “But don’t say that I never give in.”
“I won’t, I promise.” He got the joke and I could tell that he was laughing internally. We didn’t have time to enjoy the shared moment of laughter. We had things to do and I had to get to them. Torrance took my hand. “C’mon, Amy.” He led the way, carefully picking his path and sniffing out our way. I don’t know how he did it, but he managed to get us to my car. It was relatively unscathed, with just a few extra dents and scratches and it started up just fine with my spare key that I kept under the seat.
I looked down and noticed that I was still in my pajamas, but I thought better than to mention it. I was pretty sure that we had more pressing matters to attend to than my current wardrobe. At least I was covered, mostly and we could get some place safe before the world fell down around our ears any more than it had already done. He chewed his lip. “Get us out of here.”
I drove, but I couldn’t speed. There was fighting on the road, great big creatures blocking my path. I knew that it would just wreck my car if I wasn’t careful so I drove with a soft touch. Luckily no one seemed to be paying too much attention to us. That is, until we got to the end of the driveway. I was staring into the eyes of the white tiger lady, the woman with the scars.
She wasn’t going to let us leave, standing in front the car and staring at me. I knew that there wasn’t much that I could do about this. There was a bear to my left and some great cat to my right. I was trapped and she just stood there, her arms crossed over her chest. It looked like we were blocked. “Nowhere to go.” I whispered the words and saw Torrance’s head snap towards me.
“Just drive.”
“I might hit her.” I felt the panic raise into my throat. I didn’t like the mental image I was getting. It was that horrible picture from the drunk driving video that they made me watch in driver’s ed. That image still haunted me and was the reason that I always took a cab to the bar.
“Do it,” he insisted. “She’ll live, but we’ll get out of here.”
“I don’t know about this.” I groaned. I was still crawling toward her and she stared at me. Her eyes were hard, ice cold, and filled with dripping venom. I shuddered at the thought of what he was telling me to do. What if something went wrong? I wouldn’t know how I would ever live with myself I had blood on my hands.
“She’s going to take you if you don’t do this,” he warned me.
I knew it was the truth. I didn’t stand a chance. “I don’t know if I can do it.”
“You have to.”
“Can’t we just talk this out?”
He sighed. I could tell that he was tired of trying to explain over and over. “You have to do this. We don’t have a choice. This isn’t something that can be talked out. They want to turn you into a brood mare. I will do anything in my power to stop that from happening.”
“Why would they do that?”
“We’ve already had this conversation. I’ve explained it. I don’t think I can make it any clearer.” He looked over at me. The woman was starting to move in, slow and careful steps that took advantage of the fact that I didn’t want to run her over. “Now, go damn it!” He shouted the last part, making it very clear that my survival was at stake.
I took a deep breath and gunned the engine. I felt the thump more than I heard it and soon we were on the road, driving free for a while. I was shaking, my heart was beating like a freight train and there were tears in my eyes. “I’m sorry.”
“I killed her.”
“No, you didn’t.”
“How can you know that?”
“I know it.” He sighed. “Being hit by a car at thirty miles an hour is just an injury at best. It isn’t going to kill someone like her. It isn’t even going to kill me.”
“Are you sure?”
“Positive.” He assured me, but I didn’t feel any better. Still I drove with a broken heart.
*
I don’t know how we got to the hotel, but he shook me awake after he’d gotten us a room. It wasn’t a cheap location, in fact it was the fanciest place that I had ever seen in my life. The plush high thread count cotton and silk that seemed to cover every surface of the room was soft and comfortable. I have to admit that I loved the pampering. Still, we didn’t know how long we were going to be there and he was a pretty famous man dragging his body and pajama-clad surrogate into the hotel. It wasn’t something that would go completely unnoticed. The only good thing was the lateness of the hour. There weren’t a lot of witnesses. “How are you doing?”
“I’ve been better.” That was the honest truth. In fact, I could think of a thousand times in the
past week that I had been better off.
“I know, I’m sorry about this. I didn’t ever think that it would be this bad.”
“How bad did you think it would be?”
He looked into my eyes. I knew that he was worried, his face looked ten years older than it had the week before. He was tired, I could tell that. “I wish you had never known.” He groaned. “You don’t deserve this.”
“No one does. No one deserves this kind of life. Why would you live it?”
“I don’t have a choice. It’s the only life that I’ve ever known. Sam’s been trying to take over my pack for years now, and I’ve just been keeping her at bay. I don’t know when this is going to end, or if we’re ever going to change our ways.” He groaned, his voice echoed through the room and I could feel the kind of pain that he was feeling.
“Why do you keep dealing with this?”
“I don’t know, but I know that I have to do it. We can’t let ourselves be taken over by the past.”
“The past? Did you two used to date or anything like that?”
He laughed. “Not like that.” He thought carefully. “We don’t date shifters, not like that.”
“Then what is it?” I have to admit that I was curious about the connection between Torrance and the scarred up tiger lady. I knew that there had to be something, some bit of bad blood that seemed to drag the pair together.
“She’s my cousin. She’s mad because she wasn’t picked to take over.”
“So she started her own group?”
“Mad men and dissenters, all of them.” Torrance looked like he had practiced that complaint. That couldn’t have been a good thing. He must have heard about the kind of damage that family feuds could cause before. “I don’t even know why she wants this so badly, but I know that I can’t just sit here and let this keep happening.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“I wish that I had never dragged you into this.” He looked down, examining the toes of his shoes very carefully. I almost laughed about it, but stopped myself. Instead, I sat there in silence, not really knowing what to say about what he had confessed to me. I knew that I should have said something. I should have found something to say, some response to make sure that he knew that I understood his pain, but it was all too confusing. I just didn’t have it in me to say the words that I knew I needed to say. Instead, I just stared like a fool and waited for him to speak again. “It isn’t important. Let’s try to think of something happy.”
