by Willa Okati
Hell at One Dark Window
Willa Okati
All rights reserved.
Copyright ©2005 Willa Okati
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ISBN (10) 1-59596-180-1
ISBN (13) 978-1-59596-180-8
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Look for me by moonlight;
Watch for me by moonlight;
I’ll come to thee by moonlight,
though hell should bar the way!
Alfred Noyes
“The Highwayman”
Stanza One
“You’re quiet tonight, lover.”
“Am I?”
“Not a word’s passed your lips except ‘harder,’ ‘more,’ and ‘oh, God…’ and those I recall being spoken in the heat of passion. You’ve not made a peep since. Being the smart type myself, despite all appearances, this tells me you’ve got something going on in that busy mind of yours. You care to share?”
“I don’t know yet.”
“Well, that’s fair.” Cool, strong arms wrapped around Nathaniel’s waist, pulling him backwards against his lover’s body. “Of course, you know I don’t plan to let up until you spill the whole pot of beans.”
Nathaniel gave a soft laugh despite himself. “I know you won’t.”
“So? Save us a little trouble, and tell me what’s on your mind right now.”
“Not yet.” Nathaniel raised his hand and placed it palm-down on the cold window glass, where he stood staring out into the night, down to the abandoned stretch of cracked pavement running past his apartment. “There aren’t words, so far.”
“Hmm. Never known you to be at a loss before.” Nathaniel’s lover jostled him gently, playfully. “Never did meet a man who liked so much to talk about anything and everything. Apples to anthills. That’s why I took a shine to you in the first place — well, aside from an ass you could bounce quarters off and your pretty face. Sing for me.”
“O figlio perdito —”
Nathaniel’s lover jostled him. “Smarty-pants.”
“Yeah.” Nathaniel leaned into his lover’s firm, gentle hold, savoring the feel of being held strong and sure by someone who’d never let him fall. Life taught gay men an early lesson: don’t trust anyone unless you know for a fact they won’t turn on you, and that they mean it when they say they love you. His partner had it all, did it all, said it all, and meant it all.
Nathaniel should have been able to be open about what was worrying him. Yet somehow, he found that he couldn’t put his thoughts into words. Not yet.
His lover seemed to accept that. One thing about him, he did know when not to push. He simply held Nathaniel and rocked them soft and easy against one another, sexy yet comforting. “It’ll be all right,” he murmured after a moment. “Whatever’s got you fretting, it’ll be just fine.”
Nathaniel’s lips curved in a smile. “I know.”
He reached down to lay his hands over his lover’s, feeling the same mild shock as he had the first time they touched, finding them to be cool and satin-slick despite a few calluses. They held still as if carved from marble. No human could ever hold such a pose without so much as twitching.
Nathaniel had learned that there were more things on heaven and earth, Horatio, and so forth, but even he’d had a hard time accepting that the gorgeous man, all tousled hazelnut hair, twinkling blue eyes, and ready wit, was, of all things, a vampire.
Honestly, weren’t vampires supposed to at least give a nod to tradition? He’d seen enough wannabes in his time to know the accepted look was unrelieved black from hair to clothes to boots. This man — vampire — on the other hand, gloried in wearing a soft flannel shirt, molded-on and faded blue jeans, and clean but battered sneakers. No thick, chunky jewelry, save for a cross necklace.
Yeah, a cross.
When he’d leaned back against the bar counter in the sports watering hole where they’d met, arms crossed, grinning broadly, Nathaniel had cracked up and told the man he had a hell of an imagination.
The vampire had shrugged, and asked for one night to prove himself. Nathaniel didn’t usually go for one-night stands, but this man had the look, he had the wit, and you had to admire someone with balls big enough to tell such outrageous stories.
He’d taken the vampire up on his offer.
And back in his apartment, when sharp fangs that were in no way fake pierced the soft skin of his neck, where throat met shoulder, and the vampire drank deep of his blood, Nathaniel had realized this was no lie. He’d found an honest-to-Satan vampire, and brought him home to bed.
What a bedding it had been, too! Tangled, sweaty limbs, lips and tongues fighting for dominance in wet, devouring kisses, and hands everywhere, from pinching nipples to gently rolling balls to stripping heavy, swollen cocks. Cool fingers, slick with oil, slipping inside Nathaniel, stretching him open with more patience and tenderness than any mortal had ever shown. The feel of the vampire’s cock splitting him open, making him ache for more even as it was given to him, and then the blissful burn of being totally filled… well, Nathaniel hadn’t minded the blood loss by then.
To his surprise, it still hadn’t bothered him when he came down from his orgasm, when he and the vampire lay tangled together in a mass of sweaty sheets, stained with one another’s come, marked by new-forming bruises and love bites. He’d let the vampire rest atop him, not breathing but still quaking in every muscle from the force of his climax, and thought, So, this is a vampire. If this is a creature of the night, I’ll take him over a human any day.
The vampire had chuckled, as if reading Nathaniel’s thoughts. He’d raised his head and grinned. “Barrett,” he’d said, stroking Nathaniel’s cheek. “My name’s Barrett. D’you believe me now?”
Barrett. Nathaniel let himself fall into the soothing, rocking rhythm. When Barrett began to hum, some old tune by Johnny Cash that just fit his raspy voice, Nathaniel almost closed his eyes and purred with the pleasure of it.
Yes, his lover was a killer. More, he was a thief, a gambler, and an all-around bad guy. But Barrett loved Nathaniel with all his un-beating heart, would do anything for him, and that was what mattered in the end.
Soft lips brushed Nathaniel’s ear. “So,” Barrett murmured, “you feel ready to talk yet?”
Nathaniel stared out the window, at the lonely stretch of highway beneath them. He took in a deep breath, and nodded. “Yes,” he said. “Don’t leave me tonight. Promise you won’t leave me.”
Stanza Two
Clothes lay strewn across Nathaniel’s bedroom floor, a messy trail leading to his bed. Socks, sneakers, silk boxers and cotton briefs, jeans worn soft after a hundred washings, an azure shirt and a thick, heather-colored fisherman’s sweater. Barrett’s cross, which he wore as a joke, lay at the very end, the tip of the crucifix pointing to the lovers as they stood naked at Nathaniel’s window.
Barrett had made a special effo
rt to dress nicely that night. He knew, the smug bastard, how much Nathaniel loved to see him in bright colors and flannel-soft denim, looking like any ordinary man, but smiling broadly enough to show his small, sharp fangs. Never failed to send a jolt of pure want to Nathaniel’s cock.
Barrett knew as much, and played the effect for all it was worth. That night, he’d appeared at Nathaniel’s door like a figure from a wet dream, casually sexy as the fallen angel he was in truth, wicked and wanton, there for only one reason, but a damn good one.
“You,” Nathaniel had said hoarsely, reaching for his vampire lover. “You look like Lucifer.”
“Bright as the Morning Star?” Barrett moved in, brushing their bodies against one another. Muscles, taut, quivering, and ready, had hummed with tension as they touched. “You care for another ride through hell tonight?”
“I’ve dreamed of it all day. Ever since I saw you last.”
“Then,” Barrett had whispered, “let’s not be wasting any more time…”
As they reached for each other without a word, passion rose high and hot between them. Clothes flew off, landing wherever they would, and the pair had tumbled into bed bare as the day they’d been born. Cocks hard, wet with wanting, slick and heavy. Eager hands grasped at arms, shoulders and backs; lithely muscled legs locked around equally strong calves, and soft/sharp mouths devoured one another whole in hungry kiss after kiss.
Remembering their lovemaking earlier that night, Nathaniel gave a small shudder of remembered pleasure as he stood at the window. The sex had been amazing. Always was, with Barrett. Even if the unthinkable should happen and they parted ways for some reason, he knew he’d never find another man, nor even a vampire, who could do for Nathaniel what Barrett did natural as human breathing. Their bodies seemed made for one another. They fit together like puzzle pieces, each part interlocking perfectly with the other. Nathaniel had been no virgin when they’d met, but no one had ever made him come hard enough to see stars, let alone linger among them long enough to give them names.
He’d fallen in love the first time they fucked, Barrett’s cock thrusting deep and hard into his ass, ravenous hands scouring Nathaniel’s body as if he wanted to learn every inch of it and make it all sing with delight. Barrett treated Nathaniel like a prince from a fairy tale, as well as a buddy, and a rock-’em-sock-’em lover, all wrapped up into one.
Even after he’d found out the whole truth about Barrett, beyond his being a vampire, Nathaniel had known he’d never turn back. He’d made his choice for life.
He belonged to Barrett, and Barrett belonged to him.
“So many deep thoughts.” Barrett stroked down the length of Nathaniel’s arm and tucked his chin into the crook of his shoulder, nuzzling the scar left from his very first bite.
“I can’t not go,” he said after a long moment. “What I’ve got planned for tonight, Nathaniel, it’s too important.”
“And you can’t give me any details, can you?”
“Less you know, safer you are.” Barrett gave Nathaniel a light jostle. “Just looking after your safety, sugar.”
“What if I don’t want to be safe?” Nathaniel blurted. “What if I want to know what you’re doing, so that I can worry about you? Maybe even help you plan? God, even pray for you, twisted as the idea might be.”
Barrett chuckled, soft and low, against Nathaniel’s shoulder. “I don’t expect the Man Upstairs wants much to do with the likes of me,” he said. “I happen to be well and truly damned, as you might recall.”
“So what? I could still help, if you’d just let me.”
“Nathaniel…” Barrett sighed. “Lover, you push me to my limits. If I thought for one second it wouldn’t put you in more danger than was wise, I’d love to have your sharp mind at work on the problems I might come across. But I can’t risk you if I’m caught. Some lawyer taught me this phrase once upon a time: ‘plausible deniability.’ I don’t want you to hang for my crimes.”
“They don’t do gallows so much anymore.”
“Smart-ass. You know damn well what I mean.” Barrett shook his head firmly. “It’s enough that I’ve had to let a few besides yourself in on who I am and what I do. The witches’ coven, for one, who lend me the power boost I need. Your sister, on account of she caught me having a sip off your throat that one time. Anyone with legal power or who has a stake in hand, and knows what I am… it’s the end for me, and you as well. I won’t take chances with your life, lover. I swear by any god that’s heard what I have to say and holds me to it. Keeping you safe is what I care about, no matter what help I could use.”
He pressed his cheek firmly against Nathaniel’s, while his hand traced Nathaniel’s ribs. “You understand me, don’t you? Say you do, even if you don’t mean it.”
“Barrett.” Nathaniel covered his vampire lover’s hand with his own and gave it a gentle squeeze. “I don’t like it, not one bit. But I do understand. I’m no dummy. I know what you do as well as who you are, and I love you still.”
Barrett shivered. “Say it again, sugar,” he whispered, voice husky. “I adore those words.”
Nathaniel did, meaning every syllable that trickled through his lips. “I love you, Barrett. Love you as a man-that-was, love you as a vampire, love you as a professional thief. Love you, my Highwayman. Now and forever.”
“Isn’t that a marvel.” Barrett pressed a kiss to Nathaniel’s temple. “Now, here’s the fun part: me, a creature without heart, loves you ever so much more than even that. Isn’t that a fine state of affairs?”
Stanza Three
Nathaniel chuckled despite himself. He cuddled closer to Barrett and closed his eyes, not hearing any breath, not feeling any pulse, not sensing any spark of mortality in his lover. Yet for all that, Barrett existed, and thrived, a creature more than human but less than a god.
“I’ve been ordinary all my life,” Nathaniel whispered. “Just a plain old guy.”
“Oh, now, there’s a lie. A face like yours? All sweet lips made for kissing, big gray eyes like the ocean, and a body that outright sings with life and strength? Not to mention your heart, big as all Texas and warm as the sunshine itself.” Barrett kissed him again, tongue flickering out. “I do miss the sunlight, but you bring a bit of it back into my life.”
“Mmm.” Nathaniel shifted, rippling with pleasure as Barrett kissed him from ear to jaw, each press of his lips a little hungrier, a little more eager. “When I knew I was gay, I went in search of men who’d show me the way to do things right,” he said. “Most them just wanted a piece of ass, a good time, and another notch on their headboard. I never found anyone who’d really teach me, until I met you.”
“Men, and I say this with all authority, being one myself whether alive or dead, can be proper assholes,” Barrett said with all gravity. Nathaniel felt the vampire grin when Nathaniel laughed out loud at the remark. “Now. We’ve established what a pair we make. You care to tell me what’s bothering you so, or do we dance a while longer?”
“I don’t know.” Nathaniel wanted to twist around in Barrett’s arms, to press their swelling cocks together and make love again. To tease him into an honest answer to questions boiling up in Nathaniel’s mind. He knew better, though. Barrett didn’t like games — you had to take the direct approach, or get nowhere at all. “Tell me,” Nathaniel said suddenly. “I want to hear the story again. About how you became what you are. A vampire.”
Nathaniel felt Barrett stiffen. “Not a tale I care to tell, or remember, for that matter,” he said shortly. “You’ve heard it once. No need to repeat the sordid details.”
“Yes, there is.” Nathaniel pushed his ass back against Barrett’s hardening cock, deliberately wanton, coaxing him like a coy screen vixen. “You tell me the story again, and I’ll tell you what’s been on my mind tonight. Deal?”
Barrett fell silent and still.
“Deal?” Nathaniel pressed.
Finally, Barrett sighed. “Not much of a story to it, as you damn well know,” he said
grudgingly. “I was young, pretty, and stupid. Hot shit in the gay crowd. I went to a bar I’d been warned was dangerous, but I figured I could take care of myself just fine. Met a man right out of a centerfold, beautiful as a marble statue, who said he’d show me the time of my life. More fool me, I took his bait. He ferried me to a hotel room and gave me champagne laced with coke till I didn’t know up from down.
“We fucked. Don’t recall for how long, nor how many times. I just recall being worn out as a rag doll by the time he was done plowing into me, lying in my own sweat and seed, grinning like a fool.
“I recall the way he knelt over me. Had a smile like a panther, ready to pounce. Scared me a bit, but before I could rustle up enough strength to form a question, he bit me, just where I bit you. Thing was, he didn’t stop with just a taste. He took it all, and as I lay dying, he cut open his own wrist and put it to my lips. I drank, deep and long. Then, I died.