by Susan Meier
They walked through the park with Rex happily settled in his stroller. After an hour, with neither Rex nor Wiggles looking eager to return to the penthouse, they found a park bench. Watching everything around him, Rex chewed on a soft plastic toy.
“Is that good for him?”
“Yes. It works the gums and as I mentioned before, sometimes chewing numbs them. Don’t worry. I made sure it was clean.”
He caught her gaze. “I wasn’t worried. You know what you’re doing.”
“Thanks.”
She looked away from his mesmerizing eyes. He wanted to say something. It was all right there in his dark orbs. Even as part of her waited breathlessly, she hoped that he wouldn’t. Everything was happening so fast. And he was her boss. She had plans for her life. Not to mention that a longing like this had derailed her once before, resulting in a secret that always rode in the back of her brain.
“I had a good time last night.”
She glanced to the right, away from him, long enough to squeeze her eyes shut for a few seconds before she looked back at him. “I did too.”
“I almost kissed you at the elevator.”
“I know.”
“I want you to know I won’t.” He pulled in a breath. “I need you too much. And I don’t want to be a cliché.”
She laughed. “Cliché?”
“You know...guy who falls for the young good-looking nanny.”
She couldn’t remember the last time someone had called her good-looking. Her mom had told her she looked nice before she went out. Even Danny had called her stunning the night before. But this was different. His praise was all encompassing, not a passing compliment.
“What about me? Nanny who falls for her good-looking boss. We’d both be clichés.”
“Maybe the problem is that we’re both good-looking?”
She laughed and playfully tapped his upper arm. “Stop.”
“No. I’m serious. I almost hired an older woman. Not that she wasn’t attractive. But she didn’t make me want to kiss her.”
She gaped at him. “I am not having this conversation!”
“Hey, this isn’t just about you and Mary Poppins.”
“Mary Poppins?”
“She sort of reminded me of Mary Poppins. But this isn’t just about you and her. You said I was good-looking.”
“You’re ridiculous.”
“No. What I am is happy. Ever since you came to help me with Rex, I’ve felt it. And I worry that what I think is attraction might actually be relief.”
Her brain stalled. “What?”
“Relief. You know... I’m so glad to have one part of my life settling that I might be attaching the wrong meaning to it. I have a crazy dad, parents who didn’t tell me I was adopted, and a woman who didn’t tell me she was pregnant. My trust issues have trust issues. I don’t have time or space for a relationship. Yet this feeling comes naturally. So, I figure it has to be relief.”
She peered over at him. “Oh.” She thought for a second. “I’m also making really good money with you. Better than I ever had. You’re helping me reach phase two of my career. There’s a bit of relief on my part too.”
“Add that we’re good-looking to all these feelings of relief and we might be imagining something that’s not there.”
Disappointment tried to spike. She wouldn’t let it. It was ridiculous to long for something that wasn’t right. “Yeah.”
“See? I think I hit the nail on the head. And you didn’t want to talk about this,” he scoffed. “If we hadn’t, we’d have hung around worrying about something we don’t need to worry about.”
Like a past that might surface. A dad who didn’t want her. A mom who was always a drink away from destroying her life.
Looking at it objectively like that, she realized she’d spent her life mired in fear. “I do have a history of that.”
“Well, now that you’re working for me, we’re going to stop it.”
She grinned. “I feel like that might be happening. You know... I love Rex. I’m comfortable in your house. No one seems to think I’m out of place on your street, at the bakery, walking Wiggles. It’s all—” she laughed “—a relief.”
“So, we agree? We’re good for each other in so many ways that it feels romantic but it’s not.”
“That has to be it. We’re both too smart to do something stupid.”
“We can go back and eat lunch like normal people.”
“We did skip breakfast.”
“Another reason to stop at the bakery. And this time get two Danish.”
She laughed. “What?”
“We’re friends now. There’s no reason for pretense. If you want two Danish, get two Danish. If you want a bagel, get a bagel. Let’s be ourselves.”
The idea of being herself sent another wave of relief rippling through her.
She’d been in hiding for ten years. Not letting herself be or do much of anything. Now, suddenly she was a twenty-six-year-old woman. The past seemed far away. Especially with no one having had reason to dredge it up for a decade. Her dad didn’t matter. Her mom had been sober for fourteen years, thanks to Alcoholics Anonymous.
Had she really worried for nothing all these years?
She rose from the bench. The colors of the sky seemed brighter. Rex laughed at Wiggles, who whipped over to lick his cheek.
“Since we’re being ourselves, I’ll admit I’m starving. Let’s go now.”
Danny rose too. “Bakery it is.”
* * *
The weekend passed quickly. Talking about their feelings seemed to work for Marnie. She was light, happy. Rex made it to Monday despite his sore gums. But at breakfast, Danny felt odd. All day Sunday, he’d reminded himself that his happiness around Marnie was relief. But at a certain point he had to admit that wasn’t true. He liked her and he’d basically warned her off.
He should have kissed her Saturday night.
If she’d quit, he could have asked her for a date.
If she hadn’t quit, they’d have figured something out.
But he’d taken the high road. And now look where he was. Watching the woman who filled his heart with joy play mother to his child. He might have only known her a few weeks, but they fit.
And he’d blown it.
It didn’t help that he spent Monday in court and returned home exhausted and grumpy. Rex spilled his juice. Wiggles peed on the floor. Marnie handled it all like the pro she was.
She retired to her room after putting Rex to bed. Danny walked to the family room, a large room in the back with a big screen TV and enough toys and games to entertain fifty people.
He tuned the television to a baseball game, racked the balls on the pool table and grabbed a cue stick from the holder.
He shot two games, groaning at the ineptitude of his favorite baseball team and trying to unwind.
“Hey.”
His gaze shot up when Marnie entered the room. “I’m sorry if I was too loud. I forgot I’m on your side of the penthouse.”
She meandered a bit closer. “It’s okay. I couldn’t hear you, but...” She bit her lower lip, a habit he’d observed she indulged when she was nervous. “Well, at dinner I noticed you were stressed.”
He straightened, searched for his next shot, then leaned over to take it. “That’s a natural result of spending a day in court. You have two sides who both believe they’re right.” He slid the stick between his fingers and smacked the cue ball into three other balls with a resounding crack. “I handle mostly estates so the only times I enter a courtroom are when relatives are fighting over money.”
He hit the cue ball again. The red ball flew into a pocket. He drew a satisfied breath. “Fighting families are the worst.”
“I’ll bet.” She plopped down on the sofa, tucking one leg under her butt and laying on
e arm along the back pillows. It was sweet that she wanted to talk him out of his stress, but she had no idea that the more he saw her, the more he wanted her, and right now she was playing with fire.
“But, honestly, I don’t have much family. My mom was an orphan. My dad single-minded. We didn’t host relatives for Thanksgiving. Our guests were his clients.”
He longed to talk about his day, hear about her life. But wasn’t that part of the problem? The connection they were making lured him in to want more.
He took another shot. “That sounds lovely.”
“It wasn’t.” She paused a beat. “What about you?”
He looked up. Her eyes were warm, her gaze friendly. If he didn’t answer, she’d know something was wrong.
“Before I met Leni and Charlotte, I didn’t have any brothers and sisters. My parents were never chosen by another birth mother. I did have oodles of cousins though.”
She came to attention. “Really? What’s that like?”
A memory of a week at the lake popped into his head, and—amazingly—he laughed. “Chaotic. There was only one girl cousin and we terrorized her.”
“You didn’t!”
“Hey, we were boys in the woods. If we found a snake, it wasn’t our fault that we wanted to show it off.”
She laughed.
Finished with his game, he should have gone to his room. Instead, with his muscles loosening and the stress of the day slipping away, he motioned to the table. Just like always, being with her did something to him. Something he liked. Something he needed.
“Do you play?”
She looked at her fingernails. “A bit.”
“Don’t tell me you’re a ringer.”
She pushed off the sofa. “No. But I have my days.”
She chose a stick and he let her break. She ended up with the striped balls and had four put away before he got his first turn.
Focused, he worked to get three in the pockets. Then she bent across the table to shoot and her yoga pants outlined her butt.
He took a quick breath and blew it out slowly.
She only sank one ball before she lost her turn. As he studied the table, she said, “What else happens in court?”
She had a good idea keeping the conversation neutral, but it didn’t work when she used that breathless voice.
“Lawyers try to trip up witnesses from the opposing side.” He took a shot, missed and wasn’t the slightest surprised.
She leaned across the table again. He looked at the ceiling. “Your job is essentially tripping people up?”
“No. My job is looking for loopholes, mistakes in thinking, and law, precedents, that support my position.”
“You’re a trickster.”
“No!” He thought of his dad and fought the urge to ball his hands into fists. “I’m the one who uncovers tricksters.”
“Much more interesting.”
The breathless voice was back. Most of the balls were in the pocket. Both would shoot for the eight. He suddenly wished he could stand back and just watch her. Her movements were easy, fluid. Her proficiency at the game a total turn-on.
She tried for the eight, missed. He ambled to her side of the table as she walked to his. They met at a corner that she’d taken too sharply and suddenly they were in front of each other, almost brushing, both breathing funny.
They’d had the talk about how they weren’t going to pursue anything romantic, but after a day in court with his nerves strung tight, his defenses worn down... He couldn’t for the life of him remember why he’d agreed to that—
No. He couldn’t remember why he’d suggested that.
Familiar feelings rumbled through him. Primal. Quiet. Resurrecting an instinct so deep it merged body and soul.
He was suddenly the man he’d been before he’d met his dad and discovered he had a child. For thirty seconds, he was just a guy with needs. A hunger for the pretty girl in front of him.
“I thought we weren’t going to do this.”
His voice came out rough as he said, “I can’t for the life of me remember why.”
“Neither one of us wants to be a cliché.”
“If that’s our only reason, it’s not a good one.”
CHAPTER EIGHT
MARNIE’S HEART POUNDED, making her chest tight enough she worried it would burst. They were so close she swore she could hear his heart beating. Everything had been good over the weekend, then he’d come home tired and out of sorts and something inside her had yearned to make him feel better.
She whispered, “You’re sure it’s not a good one?”
His head began to lower. “Very.”
When their lips met, a symphony of longing sang through her blood. Almost powerful enough to drown out her fears, it filled her heart, wove through her soul. Their connection was strong, but their attraction was stronger. She didn’t know how to fight it. Even when she reminded herself that he lived in a different world, part of her scoffed that he was a simple billionaire. Not one of the guys who attracted attention. And any private time she got with him would be worth it.
He deepened the kiss, his tongue delving into the recesses of her mouth. The longing intensified, whooshing through her, stealing her breath. Thoughts of where this was going, what they were doing should have terrified her. Instead, they stoked the flames of the fire.
He pulled away unexpectedly. She blinked up at him. Something wild and wonderful shivered between them. For a breath, she considered springing to her tiptoes and getting them back to kissing...but something serious had settled in his eyes.
“I think we both know where this was going and we both need to think about it some more.”
Drowsy, confused, she stepped back. After a second for his words to sink in, to remind her of consequences and ramifications, she said, “Yeah.”
He ran his hand through his hair. “I’m going to my room now.”
“Me too.”
As if he couldn’t take his eyes off her, he started backing toward the door. “See you in the morning.”
She nodded.
He left, and she stared at the door, her arousal subsiding, her needs mixing and mingling then breaking apart when she added her past and everything didn’t exactly mesh. Not only was he sexy and amazing, but he was a good person. Genuinely good. And she should be thankful he’d been levelheaded.
Even thoughts of his control sent warmth cascading through her. He could have taken advantage of her. She’d had that happen too many times to count, when the hole in her life left by her missing father had caused her to go looking for love all the wrong ways. His respect for her filled her eyes with tears and her soul with yearning.
For something she couldn’t have. Because she’d made a mistake. And that mistake followed her.
The next morning, she continued her routine of showering and getting things ready for Rex before he woke at six. She changed him, put him in his highchair and was fixing his breakfast when Danny walked into the kitchen for his coffee.
Her breath filled with something so light and bemusing it fluttered in her chest. Trying not to look like a smitten fool, she monitored her smile, kept it a reasonable lift of her lips, not a beaming grin. “Good morning.”
He bypassed the coffeepot, walked over and put his forearm around her waist, pulling her to him. His lips met hers quickly, hotly, and her limbs turned to jelly.
He broke the kiss but didn’t release her. Staring into her eyes, he said, “Good morning.”
Her mind went blank. No matter how wrong, something inside her desperately wanted this.
“Everything happened so fast last night and escalated before either one of us was ready. So, I thought we’d introduce...you know...‘it’ into our routine. So it isn’t shocking and overpowering.”
Which made perfect sense. Maybe if she had a chance to get ac
customed to the idea of something between them, it wouldn’t seem at odds with her life. At odds with her past. A past that had been buried for ten long years.
After a few seconds she said, “That’s a heck of a way to start the day.”
He laughed and walked to the coffeemaker. “And that’s what I like about you. Right there. You are so wonderfully honest.”
His words like a punch in the gut, her good feelings shattered like glass. She wasn’t honest. She hadn’t told him her secret—
“Or maybe it’s not that you’re honest. It’s more like you’re yourself.”
That she had been. She was absolutely herself. He’d let her be herself. In fact, he’d encouraged it.
“Court again today,” he said, leaning against the counter, looking sexy and sophisticated in his white shirt and black trousers, as his cup of coffee brewed. “I’m leaving early to get some time in the office to prepare.”
“For the fighting family?”
“Yes. I got to thinking last night that if I was as good of a lawyer as I think I am, I should be able to find a way to settle this. Today. Before another long, frustrating day in front of a judge.”
He hadn’t been thinking about their kiss?
She’d spent hours tossing and turning.
But maybe that was better? Prioritizing was a good thing. And too much passion too soon might ruin everything. Which was what he’d been trying to say after he’d kissed her.
Oh heavens.
He was right again. He was always right. Doing the correct thing. While she was crazy, floundering, picking apart every move, everything he’d said. And why? Because she didn’t want to get burned again?
Even if what they started didn’t pan out, he wouldn’t burn her. He wouldn’t embarrass her. He wouldn’t take pictures of her while she was sleeping—
A chill raced down her spine. None of that had entered her mind with Roger. That’s why she overanalyzed now. She carefully considered every man she dated before even the idea of sleeping with them came into the situation.
