But she nodded in agreement. A flare of hope burst inside of him, but he merely lifted his eyebrows in question. She agreed with him. She trusted him, maybe?
"Yes," Dawna admitted. "The ambassador was acting somewhat suspiciously."
"Do you have a file on him, here?"
"We have a file on everyone, including the family members."
"Can you check to see where he lived twelve years ago?"
Though reluctant, Dawna nodded her head.
"In the meantime, I have another call to make." He needed to speak with his contact again. While cell phones were hardly secure, at least Tay could ask the man to get back to him. His contact's sudden reticence was unusual and Tay needed to know the reason. His contact needed to call him.
Once she'd parked, Dawna climbed out and peered back into the car. "Lock up the car when you're done." Then she walked into the embassy.
Tay grimaced as he dialed his contact's number. Still no answer to his call? The op must be heating up, he figured as he flipped shut the phone. He almost wished he was there helping with it, doing something that showed obvious results.
But hadn't that been what his father did? When things got tense or tough, he'd take some undercover assignment and disappear for days.
Tay tightened his grip on the phone. He wasn't going to run from Dawna. Not this time.
Time. Not something he had in abundance. Smythe had given him forty-eight hours to resolve this security problem, or else he would pull both of them out of there and hang Dawna. Tay knew he needed to tell her that, but how would she react? Maybe they'd have the whole sordid affair wrapped up by then?
Tay threw open the car door and smacked the lock button before slamming the door with far too much force.
"I heard you slam my car door all the way in here," Dawna commented dryly as she watched Tay stalk into her office.
"Sorry," he muttered. "Thought it was the armored car."
She shuffled through the paperwork on her desk, looking for a notepad. The one she'd had at the ambassador's residence was only her spare. She muttered an oath under her breath.
"What's wrong?"
"I left some notes in your hotel room. I'd shoved them in my overnight bag."
"What are they?"
"Just some background information on Ramos. I wanted to recheck it against his original file to see if they matched."
"Do you think Robert Taylor doctored them before he scanned them?"
"No. but maybe we could use the information to locate Chayo. Like the ambassador suggested, families move away. But they still keep in touch and sometimes return to their roots. That happens at home, with people moving back to be near parents and such."
And family was family, no matter what they did. Didn't her mother still support her sister, regardless of her behavior?
Tay glanced at his watch. "Well, let's go back to the hotel. Your bag is still there and I want to check my messages. We can grab a quick bite to eat at the same time."
It was the most logical thing to do, but Dawna hesitated. There was no such thing as grabbing a quick bite to eat in Bolivia. Mealtimes were long and leisurely.
But they'd managed to work together in his suite without so much as a kiss. Could they do it again?
Not after what he'd told her about finishing what they'd started when they had more privacy.
After retrieving his handgun, Tay moved to the door and opened it, waiting for her. There was nothing in his behavior to suggest they weren't going simply to retrieve some papers. She squared her shoulders and stood.
Lucy caught them in the hallway. "Have you been to see the ambassador? Mr. Taylor has kept me hopping all morning. I haven't even had a chance to ask if he's okay."
"He's resting at home, feeling quite chipper." Dawna smiled at her. Lucy cared deeply for the man. She was as loyal to him as Dawna was. "Says he wants to be like Hugh Hefner and work from his bedroom."
Lucy reddened and stepped back. "Oh, I'd much rather he came here every day. But I'm glad he's better. Did he say anything more?"
Dawna shook her head. "About what?"
Lucy glanced at Tay, who watched her with a curious expression. "About when we can expect him back? Mr. Taylor's running us all ragged, I hate to say."
"No, he didn't." Dawna turned to leave, but spun back around. "We're just going to the Hotel D'Oro."
"How long will you be?" Lucy bit her lip, looking almost child-like.
"I left some notes there." Dawna frowned slightly. Was Lucy reluctant to be left alone with Mr. Taylor?
Outside, Tay touched her arm. "Don't you think Lucy was being a bit too...interested in us?"
Dawna ignored the sensation of warmth his fingers created. "We're investigating an attempted murder. I'd be suspicious if she wasn't." She peered at him. "Why were you were staring at her?"
Tay tightened his grip on her and steered her toward her car. "What do you know about Lucy?"
He was walking close to her. The warmth from the cracked concrete below them didn't seem to match Tay's own body heat. "Only a bit more than you, I imagine. What does her file in Ottawa say?"
"We have the same file you have. But you work with her." He grew more serious. "Do you think she may be in love with Ambassador Legace?"
Dawna jerked to a stop, forcing Tay to release her or plow right into her. "In love? Where did you get that idea?"
"She blushed when you mentioned the ambassador's bedroom."
"She's a conservative, middle-aged widow. What we said must have embarrassed her." She resumed walking. "But they are about the same age, though Lucy may be a bit older." She shook her head. "The ambassador wouldn't encourage her affection in any way. He's got too much integrity."
Tay stopped by the passenger side of her car. "And I don't?"
"I didn't say that. You're not married." Feeling the heat blossom in her face, she stared across the top of her car at him. "Tay, Ambassador Legace knows all about you and me."
"Everything?"
"Yes." Then, feeling suddenly foolish that they were discussing their aborted love affair in broad daylight, she hastily unlocked her car door. She climbed in and unlocked the passenger door.
Inside, Tay pulled on his seat belt as she dared a glance at him. He wore that same riveting look she'd seen across the Mess that evening.
No! A part of her screamed. Hadn't she learned a thing? Like to keep her love life under tight control with no commitments to men who could end up betraying her?
But now, with the heat of her attraction and the heat of her car bombarding her from both inside and out, she wasn't sure her determination was strong enough anymore.
Not after all she'd learned about Tay.
She twisted the key in the ignition and the little car coughed to life. Tay had regretted her punishment. It had been so much easier when he was simply the guy who'd betrayed her.
He reached across the interior of the car and covered her hand with his. The grip pressed her fingers around the steering wheel.
"Dawna? It's all right. I know you learned your lesson. I learned mine, too. But that was three years ago and we're no longer student and instructor."
She pursed her lips, knowing exactly what he was saying.
Chapter Twenty
Dawna swallowed, held her breath and found she could do little more than wait for Tay's next words.
They were quiet. "There isn't anything that can stop us now, Dawna. Nothing. I still think about the short time we spent together." His voice dropped further and she strained to hear it. "Sometimes, it was all that kept me going."
No. Don't say that. She snapped her attention back on the traffic as she moved onto the street that encompassed the square ahead, but all that he'd said commandeered her thoughts.
She gripped the steering wheel, pushing herself to concentrate on her driving. Finally, she had to say something. "Tay, whenever I decide to do something, I put one hundred percent of myself into it. And believe it or not, I don't expect anyone to
bail me out. I learned that even before I took your course. I'm never unsure of anything I do, because I always think things through first."
"Are you thinking this through first?"
Her heart hammered at his gentle suggestions. She glanced into the rear view mirror before taking the first right. She didn't want to think of Tay as anything other than her betrayer. But he was so much more, and he was right. There was nothing stopping them now. So why was she afraid to take a chance? She was no coward. Or was she? She slowed from one of the many traffic jams, and quickly glanced his way. "I look at what happened and ask myself if I expected you to bail me out. I hate myself for looking to blame someone, or share the blame, or whatever. I hate that I wasn't tough enough to handle it, and that allowed myself to become weak."
Accelerating again, she drove in silence for a few minutes, her attention darting from dash to mirrors to the steady stream in front of her. No, she liked to stay fully in control. It had to be that way. Trusting other people always ended poorly for her. She'd trusted her own family to accept her, love her, but they wanted nothing but her money. If family would hurt her wouldn't Tay?
He reached for her, his warm hand covering hers as he gripped the steering wheel. The potent rush of attraction to Tay melted into her bones. He was doing more than asking her to trust him. He was asking her to start an intimate relationship with him. And the idea surged like molten lava through her.
When they reached the hotel, she found a single, tiny parking space around the corner. As she parked, she wondered what he would say if she asked him to retrieve her notes without her coming up.
No. She didn't run away from her problems, nor was she any kind of coward. Yet, did you want to start again with Tay?
He lifted his hand and brushed a stray blonde wave from her face. His knuckles barely touched her skin and yet the impromptu caress rippled through her. It was all she could do to stop from leaning toward him. "You don't have to say anything," Tay whispered. "But I'd like you to talk to me. I'd like to say a few things myself."
She frowned, still keeping her eyes on the parked car ahead. "Talk about what?"
He shrugged. "Whatever. I just want us to talk. You could tell me what drives you to push yourself beyond the limits. And what you were thinking of when I asked you to consider coming up to my hotel room?"
She threw open the car door and escaped into the hot day, pulling into her lungs a measure of smoggy air. "I push myself because no one else is going to do my work for me." She peered back in at him. "Are you coming, or will you just give me your key?"
He climbed out.
A few minutes later, when they found themselves alone in a creaking elevator, he spoke again. "Your family must be very proud of all you've accomplished."
The elevator lurched to a stop and the doors groaned open. Detouring around a maid's cart, they walked to his room. She held her breath, wondering why she should keep all the things inside of her so tightly reined. Tay wanted to know everything that wasn't on her file. She should just blurt out all the dirty details and see if he wanted her to stay after he found out what a dysfunctional family she'd come from.
The suite was warm, the drapes still closed, the bed beyond the open bedroom door neatly made. Dawna walked over to the desk and scooped up her notes.
Her knuckles whitened as the gripped her papers. "My family," she said as if there hadn't been a break in their conversation, "consists of me, my mother and my younger sister. That's it." She straightened as tall as she could get. "Mom didn't even bother to come to my graduation because my sister 'needed' her. There was no praise any time I got promoted. There wasn't any of that. My sister is so selfish and insecure, she can't allow our mother to show affection anywhere else, and my mother always obliges her."
Tay's jaw tightened. "Your younger sister still lives at home?"
"You know that already. Yes, she's still at home. She'll be there until she dies. And my mother will continue to treat her like a princess." Gritting her teeth, she folded her notes into a tight square, before glaring at them.
Tay walked to the mini bar and pulled out two small bottles of juice. He handed her one. "So, she's the favorite child, right?"
She snatched the juice and twisted off the cap with more force than necessary. "I'm not jealous, if that's what you think. Tanya needs the love. She needs the care and encouragement because she never could do a single thing for herself. She's needy." She took a swallow of the cold juice.
"She did do one thing without our mother," Dawna continued with a flick of her head. "When she was fifteen, she got pregnant. Mom was there, doting on her as always, worried for her future, and Tanya lapped it all up, acting like a poor, persecuted child." She swirled the remains of her juice in the bottle. "Sometimes, nowadays, I blame Mom for this, but mostly I blame Tanya. I mean, she's an adult now."
"What happened to the baby?"
"Tanya miscarried when she was about four months along. Mom was devastated, and took her out of school for the rest of the year." She put down the bottle. The juice had turned sour on her tongue.
"Where were you?"
"Finishing up my final year. Getting straight A's while working at a local convenience store. Doing all the household finances and chores so Mom could take care of Tanya, who was even worse off by then. Emotionally, not physically."
Dawna knew she sounded bitter. Maybe she was jealous. All of her efforts to be the best were ignored by her oblivious mother. "I came home one day to say I was joining the army. It was the first time Mom hugged me in a long time."
She could still feel it. Her mother's flowery perfume, the way her over-gelled hair tickled Dawna's cheek. She'd finally won her mother's approval.
"Why did she hug you? I mean, if what you say is true, she wouldn't want you to leave. You supported them so much."
He was playing devil's advocate. She could sense it in his tone. "You don't understand. I was young, always griping about Tanya not pulling her weight. How I couldn't afford to keep paying for everything Tanya wanted. Mom used to buy her anything, but when it got to be too costly, she asked me to pitch in."
"To buy her what?"
"Books to study whatever took her fancy. One month, it was returning to high school so she could finish her education, so she needed books and decent clothes. Another month, she wanted to take computer courses, so she could get a job. Another was a modeling job, so she needed lessons for that. But nothing was permanent. The task of the moment always fizzled and Mom always asked me to help out." She glared at Tay. "I bet when I joined the army, both of them thought I would keep sending them money. That I would have this terrific salary. Well, a private's salary isn't that great. I think they resented me when I told them I had no money. By then, I'd refused to play their game and was tired of being accused of being selfish. The military gave me courage and strength."
Blinking, she unfolded the rigid square she'd made of her notes. A hand slid across her back and she looked up to find Tay taking the notes away from her while holding her lightly. She fell into his embrace. She hadn't talked about Mom and Tanya for ages. But now it seemed clear. No wonder she'd strived all these years to be the best. Good grief, when had she become so pathetic?
"Wasn't your mother worried about you being a cop?" he asked quietly.
"A little at first. I used to think that it was because if something happened to me, who would help out with Tanya? But Mom was worried, though I managed to convince her I'd be very well-trained." She drew in a sharp breath. "I remember. Tanya got sick the evening I told my mother, the night she hugged me. There wasn't anything wrong with Tanya, just some nausea, but we had to rush her in the hospital, anyway. She was the panicky sort."
She tightened her hold on Tay. The doctor couldn't find anything wrong with Tanya. Now, all these years later, Dawna understood. For one fleeting moment, Tanya had lost her mother's doting attention. Understanding washed through her.
Tay set her away from him. "Your sister was jealous, wasn't she
?"
She nodded. "Without a doubt." She stared into Tay's warm, hazel eyes. "So there you have the whole sordid tale."
He smiled. She could tell that he was pleased that he now understood why she strived to be the best. And in an odd way, she seemed to understand it more herself, thanks to Tay.
Tanya didn't matter anymore. Mom would never change. Tanya would always milk her. Dawna wasn't responsible for them.
Feeling lighter inside, she smiled back into Tay's eyes. She couldn't change her family, but she could change her own life. No more bitterness, no more pain. Her gaze dropped to his lips, wondering if she could somehow tell Tay without words that she wanted him to kiss her.
Her gaze drifted back up to his eyes. He had read her wordless request. With the same strong, sensitive intuition he'd shown as he'd probed her past, he lowered his mouth to hers.
He tasted like tropical fruit, tangy and sweet. She recognized passion fruit and guava, the fruit that looked like tiny watermelons, but whose flavor was slightly musky.
Delicious.
He led her to the couch. They both fell onto it, Dawna taking his mouth hungrily, as if starved for far too long.
A word, throaty and hot, rolled out over Tay's tongue. The long, hard kiss had dulled her senses, and it took time for her to realize it was her name he'd said.
It sounded wonderful, stimulating. He'd called her Dawna since he arrived, but this time, the word slipped from his lips full of need, all throaty and breathy.
She ran her hands over his back, tugging to free his shirt. It gave at once and she plunged her hands between the warm cotton and hot skin.
She couldn't have been happier. Nor could she decipher the reason.
He set her away from him. "I fully expected you to punch my lights out the moment you spotted me at the airport." He swallowed and shook his head. "Dawna, I didn't come to Bolivia to seduce you again. That's not my style. I...I was fully to blame for what happened... You can't...am I making any sense?"
Hard Target Page 19
