“Here?” I ask as I look back at Lucas who is loaded down with all the bags. I know he’s trying to be a gentleman, but I have no problems helping.
“Sure.” He still looks a little unsure about this, but I couldn’t think of a better way to spend a sunny spring evening.
I pull out the picnic blanket that I luckily found in the BBQ isle of the supermarket and lay it out in the sun. I sit myself down and start rummaging through the bags for everything else I bought.
In only a few minutes, I have our picnic laid out in front of us. Lucas, however, is still stood with his hands in his pockets, looking down at me with complete confusion written all over his face.
“You swerved a posh meal in a restaurant for a picnic in Hyde Park?” he asks, like it’s the most insane thing he’s ever heard.
“Yeah. Is that not okay?” I ask, now a little concerned that I’ve done the wrong thing.
“No, I think it’s perfect,” he says as a wide smile creeps across his face.
My heart jumps into my throat, seeing his happiness. He’s serious so much of the time that it’s a real pleasure to see that smile.
He lowers himself down next to me but makes no attempt to reach for the food. We haven’t eaten since breakfast so he must be starving, I know I am. Instead, his hand wraps around my neck and he pulls me to him. He kisses me gently to start with bit it soon begins to turn into something that shouldn’t happen in a public place.
“Calm down,” I say with a laugh when I pull back from him. “We’re in a public park. We could definitely get arrested for doing that kind of stuff here,” I say.
He huffs in disappointment as he looks down at his lap. I can see his issue; there’s not really any hiding that he’s hard but the look on his face makes me laugh.
“I’m sure you can wait a few hours. Come on, let’s eat.”
We’ve almost polished everything off when Lucas’ phone rings. He stretches out his legs so he can pull it from his pocket. I’m expecting him to silence it like he has most of the calls he’s gotten today, but instead, he looks at me as if for permission to answer it.
“Of course, go ahead,” I say, feeling a little weird that he felt like he had to ask.
“I wouldn’t usually but it’s Joe,” he responds before answering.
The name rings a bell but it only takes a second of listening to Lucas’ friendly banter into the phone to remember that it’s his friend who also ended up with food poisoning last weekend. Wow, was that only a week ago?
“I’m in London with Lilly,” he says, like Joe knows all about who I am. It piques my interest so I eavesdrop with a little more enthusiasm than I did when they were talking about work stuff. “Soon,” he says after Joe clearly asks a question. “Fine, yes. Okay, Friday night. Yes. Tell her she’s a demanding pain in the arse,” he finishes with a laugh. “Okay, yeah. Bye.”
“What was that about?”
“They want to meet you. We’re going out on Friday night—is that okay?”
“As long as it’s not to the same place you went last time,” I say with amusement because I can see the worry etched in Lucas’ face. “Why do you look so worried?”
“It’s…” he starts, but pauses as he finds the right words. “I have very few people in my life, Lilly…”
“And you introducing me to them and allowing me into your circle is hard for you?” I ask, finishing his sentence for him.
“Yeah, something like that. How did you know?
“Your mum said something that day on the phone.”
“Of course she bloody did. I still need to talk to her about that little stunt she pulled.”
“Don’t be mad at her, Luc. She’s only trying to help.”
“I guess,” he mutters before shoving a mini pork pie in his mouth.
It’s my phone’s turn to start ringing then. I grab it, see that it’s Dec and immediately swipe and put the phone to my ear. Lucas will have to get used to Dec if he plans on sticking around. We kind of come as a package deal.
“Hey, how’s it going?”
“Good. How’re things your end?”
“Yeah, not bad.” I look up as Lucas mouths the words ‘not bad’ at me and raises an eyebrow. “Okay, better than that. I’m actually sat in Hyde Park having a picnic as we speak.”
“Sweet. Are you still with Nicole?”
“No, she went back yesterday. I’m actually with a guy.”
There’s a pause on the other end as the information settles in. “A guy? Like, what kind of guy?”
“A non-psycho one, I hope,” I reply, thinking of the conversation we had when Lucas and I had our first date.
“Hang on, you’re with the same guy, aren’t you? I thought you said it didn’t work out?”
“It’s a long story.”
“I’ve got time.”
“I haven’t. Can I ring you when I get back? I’ll explain everything.”
“Fine,” he mutters. I’m sure he’s probably pouting.
“Talk soon, okay? Love you.”
“Okay, bye.”
I put the phone down and smile to myself.
“Who was that?”
I look up to see a curious look on Lucas’ face. I guess I should have told him about Dec before.
“That was Declan. My twin brother.”
“You’re a twin,” he says, repeating my words.
“Yep.”
“I’m guessing you’re close then?”
“Yes. Although he lives in Devon. He decided to go uni in Exeter. He’s a big surfer. He’s actually started his own business down there now. He’s a bit of a wannabe Alan Sugar.
“Do you miss him?”
“Every day. We talk as much as we can but it’s not the same.”
“Have you considered moving down with him? I’m presuming that now he’s started a business he wouldn’t come back?”
“Yeah, I’ve considered it. I thought about seeing if there were any design jobs down there as well as here when I start applying.
“I’ve never been to Devon. Always thought about opening a hotel down that way at some point. We should go.”
His sudden enthusiasm for me meeting his friends and us going away and meeting Dec confuses me slightly. It was just over a week ago that he was avoiding me and now he’s done a complete one-eighty and is planning time away and meeting family.
“What are we doing here, Luc? I go from not seeing you for weeks on end to suddenly planning to meet each other’s friends and family. I feel like I’ve got a bit of whiplash.”
“I really like you, Lilly. More than I should. And you are so much more than I deserve. I disappeared because I wanted you and you turned me away. I thought it was the right thing to do but it turns out I was wrong. And I don’t admit that often. I can’t stay away from you.”
“Why don’t you deserve me?”
“I’m not a good person, Lilly.”
“Can I be the judge of that, please?” I ask.
“I’m serious. I’ve done stuff that I’m not proud of. I’ve lived a life I’m not proud of.”
“Will you tell me about it?”
“Maybe. I’ll want something in return, though.” And there it is. A secret for a secret. “When you’re ready,” he adds, obviously seeing the panic in my face.
I swallow down my fear of having to explain. What’s the worse that can happen?
“Ask away,” I whisper.
I lie back on the blanket and wait for his question. When it comes though, it’s not what I was expecting.
“That first night I came to your flat, I got the impression Taylor was gay—”
“Oh, you mean from the amount of staring he was doing?” I ask with a laugh.
“Yeah, pretty much. But when we got back, there was a half-naked woman in your kitchen.”
“Ultimately, yes, Taylor’s gay. He openly admits that in the end he wants to settle down with a guy, but until he finds that guy he seems quite okay with sticking it to anyone wh
o’s willing.”
“Okay then. I’m not judging, I was just a little confused.”
“Honestly, he confuses me as well. He’s great, I love him dearly, but he’s changed recently. We’re not as close as we once were. I think he met someone a while ago that he really fell for and I can only presume he was knocked back. I worry about what he’s doing but it’s not for me to point out what I think are mistakes.”
“Fair point. I can say from experience that someone telling you you’re doing something wrong won’t help you. You’ve got to come to your own realisation. It will happen eventually.”
“Go on,” I prompt, hoping for a little more of an insight.
“I don’t want to get into the dark stuff today, Lilly. It’ll ruin our time here. Tell me about your family.”
“Okay. Well, my mum and dad are amazing. They live in Oxford in the house we all grew up in. They met at Mum’s coffee shop and fell in love over a slice of millionaire’s shortbread and a cappuccino.” Lucas smiles at the story. I so badly want what they have. Their love has only got stronger as the years have gone on; it’s incredible. “Emma and…” I pause, thinking about her twin. “Emma’s my older sister. She’s also a twin but Hannah died in car accident a couple of years ago.”
“I’m so sorry,” Lucas says quietly.
“Emma’s now married to Ruben. It was his sister, Connie, who had a baby the day you found me in your hotel room. She’s engaged to Ruben’s best friend.” I look at him for a second to make sure he’s keeping up. “Then there’s Molly and Ryan. Molly was Hannah’s best friend but she’s more like an adopted sister because her parents were…uh…useless. Ryan was Hannah’s boyfriend but they have since got together and have a little girl called Lois.”
“Wow, okay. What about the friend you saw this week?”
“We’ve been friends since playschool but Nicole moved away when we were teenagers. We’ve always stayed in contact though. Her life’s so hard at the moment with her mum, but she was given some respite care last week so she was able to relax a little.”
“That must be hard,” Lucas says. He doesn’t say anything else and looks a little lost in thought.
“So what about your family? I mean, I’ve kind of met your parents, but any siblings or adopted family like I have?” His eyes snap to mine at my final comment and I feel like I might have said something wrong, although I’ve no idea what it could be.
“I have a brother,” he states.
“Oh, does he work for the hotels as well? I don’t think I’ve ever come across him.”
“No, I haven’t seen him since I was a child.”
“Okay?”
“Christopher and Elaine adopted me, Lilly.”
I suck in a breath. “Oh, I had no idea.”
“I like it that way. I don’t need anyone questioning where I came from.”
“And where was that?”
“Hell.”
I watch as the shutters come down. Even mentioning it must take him back to a dark place. Lucas falls onto his back and looks up to the blue sky above. He doesn’t make a noise; he just stares. I watch him for a few minutes but soon realise he probably needs a reminder that he is no longer in hell, and is here with me. I lean over and gently place my lips against his. He doesn’t move for the longest time but eventually I feel his lips part and his tongue run across my bottom lip.
When I pull back he’s looking directly into my eyes and thankfully he doesn’t look as closed off as he previously did.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers.
“Nothing to be sorry for, Lucas. We’ve both got demons that haunt us. Maybe it’ll become a little easier to bear once we share.”
“Maybe,” he says but it doesn’t sound like he agrees. Time will tell I guess.
“Shall we head back?” I ask when I realise the sun is starting to set behind the trees that hide us from the hustle and bustle of the city behind us.
“Sure.”
Silently, we gather up all our things and walk hand in hand away from our little patch of grass. I fear that Lucas is still lost in his memories and I don’t want him to spend the rest of the night that way.
“We could go somewhere,” I offer.
“Oh yeah, like where?”
“I don’t know. Just walk around, take it all in.”
“Okay.”
We walk around central London for hours. We walk up Oxford Street and take in all the shoppers hopping from one store to the next. We get a coffee and sit in Leicester Square as people set up barriers for what looks like a film premier tonight. Then, we head toward Covent Garden. We watch all the different kinds of street entertainment before finding a bar to get a drink in.
As the minutes tick by, I see that Lucas is beginning return to his usual self, and I’m more than grateful.
Some of his memories must have been lingering in the background though, because when we get back to our hotel room he drops the bags he’s been carrying on the floor before disappearing into the bathroom.
I listen as the water starts running. I argue with myself about what to do. Do I stay here and wait for him to reappear, or do I go and join him?
In the end, I decide to strip out of my clothes and head for the shower. My breath catches in my throat when I get there. He’s stood with his head bent forward, the water cascading down his back.
The opening of the shower door catches his attention and he looks up at me, but it’s not with the kind of heat in his eyes that I’m used to. I don’t think he even notices that I’m naked.
I step inside and pull the door shut behind me. I stand right up against him and place my lips to his. Just like earlier, it takes a few seconds but he soon responds and within a minute he has me backed up against the tiles with my legs wrapped around his waist.
By the time he’s finished, the shadows have totally lifted from his eyes and I have my Lucas back. I hate the idea of him hurting so much when he thinks about the past, but we will have to talk about it at some point.
Chapter Nine
Lilly
The week has flown by. It seems like one minute we were in London and the next I’m getting ready for dinner with Joe and Natalie. Nothing has been mentioned about Lucas’ past since Saturday night, and for the short amount of time I have seen him, he has been his usual self.
He spent a few days here before disappearing back up to Yorkshire to try to deal with some stuff going on up there. He tried to make me sleep at the hotel with him but I refused. I needed to get home so I could sort stuff out for uni and generally get some sleep. I hadn’t had that much over the weekend and I was suffering for it. I only had a couple more weeks left before everything needed to be handed in—it was the final push. I’ve worked hard for almost three years; I’m not going to let Lucas distract me now.
I managed to pin Taylor down on Thursday afternoon so we could go shopping for something for me to wear tonight. He helped me choose a light floral summer dress, seeing as the weather is still unseasonably warm.
Taylor spotted immediately that I’d put weight on and he was beyond excited for me that I now had boobs again after the amount I’d lost after Jake. He made sure the dress we chose showed off my new assets to their best.
Taylor still isn’t the same bubbly person I first met. Something is weighing him down which is so unlike him. I know his parents often take their toll on him with their overbearing opinions of how he should live his life. I can’t imagine that’s changed, but this is different. He won’t tell me though, and it’s bugging the hell out of me. Especially when he insists I tell him everything about Lucas. I’m more than happy to tell all, but it irritates me a little that he won’t do the same. I can only hope he will when he’s ready.
I’m just doing my lipstick when the buzzer starts ringing. I quickly finish it off before giving myself a once over in the mirror.
“Wow, you look beautiful,” Lucas says as soon as he sees me.
“No—lipstick,” I say, putting my hand up w
hen he leans in to kiss me.
“Seriously?”
“Yeah. I’ll make up for it later.” I smile to myself as the memory of Lucas covered in my lipstick in the hotel last weekend springs into my brain.
“You’d better,” he grumbles. “Have you packed for the weekend?”
“Yeah, it’s on my bed if you want to grab it.”
I watch him leave the room. I wasn’t sure how fancy the place was going to be tonight, but I’m a little relieved to see that Lucas is only wearing trousers and a shirt. If it was really fancy, he’d have a suit on.
“Come on then,” he says once he’s got my weekend bag in his hands. I might have got away with not staying with him overnight at the beginning of the week, but I didn’t stand a chance this weekend.
The smiles on Joe and Natalie’s faces when we walk towards the table are hilarious. When we get close enough, they both totally ignore Lucas and greet me. It’s like he’s not even there.
“Oh my God. We’re so excited to meet you, Lilly. We never thought we’d see the day. We’ve nagged him for years to—” Lucas interrupts Natalie’s excitement by clearing his throat.
“Oh, hey, Luc. How are you doing?” Joe asks.
“Oh, so you did notice I’m here,” he says with a laugh as he pulls a chair out for me.
Joe starts asking Lucas details about the fire. I begin to listen but Natalie starts asking questions. All the usual ones, I guess. What do I do? Where did we meet? All that kind of stuff. I answer everything she throws at me and I soon find that I like Natalie a lot. She’s really sweet and it’s obvious she cares about Lucas.
“So have you guys all known each other a long time then?” I ask once our starters have been cleared away.
“We all went to secondary school together in Gloucester, but we weren’t friends then. Nat and I were the goodie two shoes kids. Luc, on the other hand…well…wasn’t,” Joe answers, but then gets a little unsure of himself at the end. I guess he doesn’t know how much I know about Lucas. And in all honesty, I don’t know that much, but I know enough to presume he probably wasn’t a goodie two shoes.
“It’s okay, you can say it,” Lucas says with a laugh, letting Joe know he’s not going to ruin his reputation with me.
Lilly (Angel Series Book 3) Page 10
