“Sounds?” Shelby asked.
“Yes, like if something drops, or a horn honks loudly, or even if a strong deep voice comes from behind me I cower and tighten and wait for the strike. I can’t take it,” she said and they continued to walk. Her sister wiped the tears before they would fall.
“Well, then you don’t need to get involved with anyone right now. I’m glad that I told the Mantel brothers that you weren’t interested and to leave you be. The last thing you need is more than one man trying to make you their possession. A ménage relationship is intense to say the least. You’ve seen them around town. The men are always with their woman. If not all then at least one. Where is the privacy, the alone time, the ability to feel independent?” Shelby asked and she knew she sounded angry. There was a time or two she wondered if she could let her guard down and explore feelings she had but she knew better. More than one man meant more trouble and more pain.
“I hope you weren’t mean to them,” Caroline whispered. That comment got Shelby focused on her sister again.
“Why? Are you interested in being part of a ménage?” she asked, sounding so cynical and shocked, when really that wasn’t fair at all. Every ménage relationship she knew of, including her friends Marlena and Alicia, was beautiful. It was obvious that those men loved their women and their women loved them, but they were few and far between, those men of theirs. Marlena and Alicia struck gold. Women like Shelby and Caroline struck coal. Their entire life had been a struggle surrounded by pain and heartache. That need to feel loved, appreciated, and cared for led them to choosing the wrong men. Those men, Skip and Cameron, knew they were easy prey.
“No. I’m not saying that. It’s just that, C.J. was so nice. He seemed sincere and honest. Plus he had this way of making me want to spend more time with him.”
“Listen, from what I know about them they are very nice men. But three, Caroline? Look at their sizes and their capabilities. You’re like a little peanut compared to them. Hunter was a Navy Seal or something. He could pick you up with one arm and toss you.”
Caroline bit her lower lip and the tears filled her eyes.
“I know. You don’t think I’ve thought of that? Of what strikes from hands as big as theirs might feel like? That’s something I don’t think I could get past. Besides the simpler things that definitely stand in the way of even considering a relationship with a man again.”
“Like what?” Shelby asked.
“Well, like I mentioned earlier, how I overanalyze everything and see the negatives. Well, when I met Hunter, and I saw the size of his hands, I imagined the pain I would feel if he hit me.
“Oh God,” Shelby said and stopped walking. She felt the tears reach her eyes.
“Cameron hit you a lot?” she asked.
Caroline looked away and then back down at her hands.
“It started out as little shoves, or if I said something he thought was stupid or whatever, he would give me a knuckle punch to the back of my head or a pinch to my side. One night, when we were at a party and he saw me talking to these two guys who he was friends with, he lost it the second I unlocked the door to my apartment. He shoved me hard then slammed the door and he was on me so fast I screamed.
“He kicked me and gave me a smack, and yelled at me about flirting with those guys and how I belonged to him.”
Shelby felt the tear fall and she wiped it away. She remembered many a time Skip getting pissed off at her for similar reasons and then facing his wrath.
“I’m so sorry you went through that. I ask myself all the time why I didn’t run off earlier. Why hadn’t I seen what kind of man Skip really was, but I think I was blinded by what I wanted to see and also what I hoped to have. You know, to have someone love me, hold me, and care for me like I never had. It didn’t matter that those kisses, the holding came after the beatings and the pain. It was still something to hold onto and feel.” She hugged her sister.
“Like we never had,” Caroline added and then pulled back.
“Exactly,” Shelby said and they wiped their tears and continued walking.
“I don’t know if I can get past this fear, Shelby. Especially living in this town, a place where such relationships occur.”
“Honey, no one can force this on you. The sheriff ensures that everyone is in agreement when a relationship happens. There’s this unwritten protocol. So even if a set of men are interested in a woman and claiming her, or being her guardian, they can’t if she denies them.”
“Explain more to me so I understand.”
Shelby smiled. “Okay, we’ll start at the beginning and what I learned since I moved here. That should give you peace of mind and help you to realize that you’re in control, not anyone else. That’s the first thing to always remember. The women are protected here and we have the power to choose. That’s huge, especially for women like you and I who have experienced what we did. Got it?”
Caroline nodded and Shelby began to explain what she knew about ménage relationships and how this town of Chance really worked.
* * * *
Hunter Mantel and Sam Pace were sitting on a bench talking about the war and shit, and how difficult it was to return to a so-called normal life. They met like this often, and Sam felt that it really helped his good friend with his reservations and difficulties.
“So what’s making you feel so on edge and protective? Can you recall what it was that brought this on?” Sam asked.
Hunter rubbed his hand along the scruff on his chin and jaw. He exhaled. “It was C.J. and what he told York and me last night.”
“What did he tell you?” Sam asked, immediately feeling concerned.
“You know Shelby, right?” Hunter asked him, and Sam knew that Hunter knew he and his brothers were interested in Shelby but she wasn’t reciprocating. His chest tightened as he prayed that Hunter wasn’t going to tell him that he and his brothers were making a move on Shelby and she was accepting.
“Have you met her sister, Caroline?” Hunter asked, and Sam immediately exhaled and felt so relieved he felt weak in the knees. He and his brothers wanted Shelby to be theirs, but she held back, ignored them all the time, and there was only so much they could take. He was still coming and going with work, so he wasn’t as affected, or so he thought. Lately he felt that semi-retiring from the service and taking the job on the base was a good decision. His brothers were losing hope with Shelby, so they stopped for a while and hoped time would make her more comfortable.
“I haven’t met her yet.”
“Well, we have. York met her first. On her way into town, she had a flat tire on the highway an exit before the Chance exit. Then C.J. met her and I met her. We all felt the attraction to her and it seemed she felt it, too, but like you’ve explained about Shelby, Caroline held back and she tries to ignore us. Anyway, she lied to York about her name. She has this cast on her arm, it’s broken, and yesterday, when she spent a little time with C.J. at lunch after he smoothly convinced her to be friends first, she said things that hinted about a scary past. C.J. pretty much found out that someone hurt her.”
“A man?”
“We think so, and well we can’t help but to put this shit together, about her lying about her name to York, about her broken arm and tripping when a high heel broke, and then our mom is paying her off the books. We found out on the down low when our dad Jake was asking our mom what was going on and she denied everything and then told him to let it be. York overheard that conversation.”
Sam squinted his eyes at Hunter. “It does sound suspicious and like perhaps she’s running from danger, maybe the man that hurt her. Did you guys talk with Max? As the sheriff he needs to be aware of these things and to ensure the women’s safety. What if whatever is going on has to do with Shelby, too, and they’re both in danger and afraid to trust anyone?”
“Exactly. This is why these feelings are becoming overwhelming. I feel so protective of her. I want to make her feel safe, but damn, Sam, when she looks at me it’s like she’
s looking at a monster. I just get this feeling that my size frightens her. I don’t know, but I can’t get close enough to find out and to prove that I would never hurt her.”
“Well that won’t be easy if she’s been abused, but we don’t know that. Everything we’re discussing is hypothetical. We need proof. Some way of helping her, them to see that they’re safe here and we’re trustworthy.”
Hunter nodded and then looked past Sam, and Sam noticed his eyes widen. Sam turned to look at what caught Hunter’s attention and he felt his own reaction mimic Hunter’s. His eyes widened and then he felt that excited sensation fill his heart. Shelby and another petite young woman were walking down the path and heading their way.
“Okay, let’s see what we can find out and try to help them,” Sam said.
“Right now? Are you sure?” Hunter asked and Sam hid his chuckle. Hunter was one big dude and to see him panic like this over a woman was something to remember.
As they got closer, Sam spoke up.
* * * *
Caroline was surprised to feel intrigued by what her sister was telling her instead of scared. It seemed like the perfect relationship for someone normal and without fears like they both had. To have multiple men cater to your every need and desire, to protect you and watch over you and put you first. It seemed like some sort of fairy tale story. She couldn’t even let a man touch her hand and be close, except she let C.J. He even kissed her neck and covered her knee with his large warm hand. She bit her lower lip and wondered if she would ever feel safe and free. That was when they heard the voice and she grabbed onto Shelby’s arm. So much for feeling safe.
She hadn’t expected to see Hunter, nor the good-looking guy he was with who zeroed in on Shelby instantly. She felt Shelby reciprocate the hold and then straighten out her shoulders.
“Hello, Sam, Hunter,” she said all businesslike. Caroline wondered how the hell she did that. Because right now, Caroline couldn’t peel her eyes from Hunter’s. He looked upset, on edge, and well, nervous. What was he up to?
“It’s a nice day for a walk. Is this your sister?” the other man, Sam, asked.
“Yes, Caroline, meet Sam. He’s Kenneth’s brother,” she said and Caroline immediately realized what was going on. As Sam talked a mile a minute, forcing Shelby to reply, she came to the conclusion that her sister hadn’t been honest with her at all. Apparently she had men who were interested in her and she was blowing them off. Caroline could tell from her body language that she liked Sam. He was tall, attractive, and had a military-style haircut. He seemed very in charge and perfect, actually.
“How are you, Caroline?” Hunter asked, drawing her attention away from Shelby and Sam and toward him.
“Good, enjoying the park. It’s really beautiful,” she said to him as she looked way up into his eyes and then lowered her own. He was so big, so intimidating looking.
“Are you warm enough with that light hoodie?” he asked her and tugged on the hem. She felt that singe of pleasure from his small touch and she knew that she was attracted to him. What woman wouldn’t be? He was older, sexy, and capable, but she was timid, fearful, and indecisive in everything. Maybe he wasn’t legitimately a nice guy and maybe he just wanted to have sex with her. It was a possibility and because she couldn’t even make small decisions it was best to not give into these feelings and an attraction. Plus, as Shelby said, it wasn’t just one man a woman was accepting. It was multiple. She shivered. He clenched his eyes with concern.
“So when do you get the cast off?” he asked her.
“In a few days,” she replied.
“How did you break that arm?” Sam asked and Shelby explained about the high heel.
“She can be a bit of a klutz sometimes.”
“Well that explains her near fall off the ladder in the store. I’ll have to warn my mom about your past,” he teased and she felt her eyes well up with tears and widen at his use of the word past.
“Well, we need to get going. Enjoy the park,” Shelby said and started to drag Caroline with her.
“Wait, are you two available for lunch? We’re heading back soon,” Sam asked.
“No,” Shelby said very firmly.
Sam stood pretty close to Shelby and Shelby swallowed hard. Caroline could tell this man affected her sister.
“I don’t bite, Shelby. It could be fun, and we could get to know one another and take things slow,” he said.
“I’m not interested. Have a nice time,” she said and pulled Caroline along with her. Caroline glanced at Hunter, who held her gaze and looked her over. He seemed upset and disappointed, but Caroline actually felt disappointed, too.
“So, that’s how you know so much about ménage relationships and dodging a group of men who are interested in claiming you.”
“What?” Shelby asked and looked back over her shoulder. Caroline snorted.
“Sister, I think we’re both in a heap of trouble. You like him, and I’m assuming that goes for your boss and the third brother, Bender, who is a detective in town, I believe? I met him briefly Saturday when Mike introduced us.”
“I’m not interested and pretty much for the same reasons that you’re not interested.”
“But you like him. It’s obvious and he seems very military-like and he is really good-looking.”
“And what about you who said she was fearful of Hunter and his size, yet seemed to be affected in a positive way by his close proximity?” she retorted. Caroline thought about that a moment.
“I wish I was normal. I wish none of what happened, happened. I wish I never let Cameron hit me, talk down to me, and control me. I wish I could let go of the fear of men. I want safety and security, beside companionship and trust.”
“So do I,” Shelby said.
“Then how the hell can we get that if we can’t let go of the fear and of the negative experiences? I don’t want to flinch when I hear a deep male voice, or if Hunter, C.J., or York are close to me. I wish I could be friends with them and try to figure out if they’re for real or if, like you said, I’m making them into something they’re not.”
“That’s something I can’t answer because I don’t know, but I’m not interested in engaging in anything right now. I’m working, I’m trying to establish a feeling of independence, and being shared by three men will take everything I’ve worked so hard for completely away from me.”
Caroline was quiet. She didn’t know if her sister was right or wrong, but she knew she didn’t want to feel fear or pain ever again. She couldn’t help but to think being in Hunter’s arms, so big and strong, would help to ease that fear. Was he for real, or were his brothers and him just another route to feeling pain and failure once again? She didn’t know, but she felt this tightness in her heart as her mind whispered that they weren’t bad men and that she should let them in. Could she let down her guard and do so? And if they hurt her, then what? She exhaled as they walked in silence. She wondered if she and her sister could really find happiness in Chance, or would they always feel so isolated and afraid?
Chapter 5
Caroline was smiling as she spoke to Mrs. Murphy about her homemade zucchini bread.
“I almost couldn’t make them this year. Some hoodlum kids tried to sabotage my garden.”
Caroline smiled. “But they weren’t successful.”
The older lady with the gray hair but firm, strong expression raised one eyebrow up and crossed her arms in front of her chest. “No they weren’t and no thanks to any lawmen,” she said, looking past Caroline.
As Caroline turned to look, she felt the hands on her waist and the large presence behind her and locked gazes with C.J. and then York.
“Mrs. Murphy, we couldn’t wait to come over and buy some of your zucchini bread. I see you met Caroline.”
C.J. ran his hand along her waist and kept it there. She froze in place. She felt the heat move through her body and for some reason she didn’t pull away, but instead calmly looked at Mrs. Murphy.
“That’
s the least you could do considering you and the rest of them deputies never found them hoodlum boys.”
“Now, now, Mrs. Murphy, I think you scared them way out of Chance. They never came back to your place now did they?” C.J. asked, and Caroline saw York smiling and heard him chuckle as he looked at the display of breads and then winked at Caroline.
“Harumph.” Mrs. Murphy was exasperated with them and gave them the evil eye. Now Caroline chuckled.
“Well, I’m going to take two of them. They’re delicious and it sounds like a lot of hard work to make them from scratch.” Caroline pressed away from C.J. to take out her money.
“We got it, doll,” York told her and then asked Mrs. Murphy for six loaves. She smiled at him and then gave him a wink.
“You’re so sweet, York. Where’s that brother, Hunter, the giant one? He loves these, too, or at least always did,” she said to him.
“He’s around, and why I’m buying six loaves,” York told her and winked. He was being a flirt and Mrs. Murphy was eating it up. They were both so kind and Caroline had such a funny feeling in her belly. Especially because now C.J. took her hand as they walked away from the table. She pulled her fingers from his and looked around, trying to ignore them. She didn’t know what to say and they remained on either side of her.
“Have you tried Macy’s peach cobbler yet?” York asked her, and she looked up at him and shook her head.
“Well, it’s delicious and she also makes it into an ice cream. Want to get some and then sit for a little bit?” C.J. asked her.
“I don’t know. I was only coming by the market for a little bit.”
“You have plans for the rest of the day?”
“Not really. Well maybe with Shelby,” she added after realizing she was giving them an opportunity to spend more time with her. Did she want that? It wasn’t right. She had no right to even considering letting her guard down.
C.J. ran his hand up and down her arm. She tightened as he held her gaze. “Friends first, remember?” he asked her.
Town of Chance: Sweet Caroline [The Dare Series 5] (Siren Publishing Ménage Everlasting) Page 8
