by Sadie Grubor
"I understand," was all Aidan said as he sat back down.
I took a deep breath and walked passed him. Once I was out of the waiting room, I found the closest bathroom. Lurching into the porcelain bowl, I emptied the contents of my stomach. I suddenly felt exhausted and drained.
After washing off my face and rinsing out my mouth, I walked back to my father’s room. Aidan was sitting in a corner chair looking disheveled and somber. I climbed into the reclining chair next to my father’s bed. The last thing I remember is feeling Aidan’s burning gaze.
Aidan returned to New York three days after our conversation, though he called and texted regularly. Donald was moved from Eastern Maine back to Winter Harbor hospital after a week. He spent two more weeks at Winter Harbor hospital before he being released into homecare.
Whoever labeled it ‘morning sickness’ was definitely a moronic male. I was sick morning, noon and night. I was barely able to hold down any type of solid food. At one point, Millie almost had a doctor put me on an IV. Thankfully that didn’t happen.
Phoebe and Dixon had left after spending a week in the hospital with me and Donald. Phoebe arrived in Winter Harbor when we took Donald home from the hospital. I was happy to have her back, along with the clothes that she brought for me. She was going to drive me to the hospital so that I could finally get the approval to stop using the damn air cast and have my head checked out, as well as for my OB checkup.
"So…" Phoebe kept her eyes on the road.
"What, Phoebe?" I sighed.
"Do you really think it was Aidan?" She sounded hesitant, as if she were worried that I would get mad at her for bringing him or the topic up.
"I don’t know," I growled. "We’ve been through this. I just…I don’t know if I can trust or believe him. I mean…Ahgghh!" I put my head back on the seat.
"I’m sorry," Phoebe said genuinely. "I don’t mean to be a pest, but, Lilli, you should have seen him!" She kept moving her eyes from the road to me and then back.
"Keep your eyes on the road." I instructed. "Seen him what?" I asked in a low tone.
"Oh my God, Lilli, when you were in the ICU and he got there it was like he was going to explode. He was functioning on pure adrenaline. And, then, when he found your room, he curled up in the bed with you and started sobbing."
I looked at her a little shocked.
"Jesus, if he isn’t in love with you then I don’t know what the hell you would call it." She was smiling wistfully. "I was going to go in the room with him, but when I got to the door and heard him, I felt like I was intruding."
"Well, I’m not saying that he doesn’t care about me, Phoebe—"
"Fuck caring, he loves you. The way he went off on the nurse who tried to kick him out of your room after visiting hours is just another confirmation." Phoebe was now starting to lecture me.
"He told off a nurse?" I started twisting my fingers around in my lap.
"Hell yeah he did. Dixon had to calm him down." She giggled. "He threatened to buy the hospital and then he could do what he wanted!" She laughed and I spit out a laugh as well.
"Okay, okay…I get that he has feelings for me, but I just…I don’t know." I stared out the window during the rest of the ride.
Phoebe, being so in tune with me from our years of friendship, knew that I needed to think.
He was going to be meeting us at the hospital today. He refused to miss the check up for my fracture, my head, and for the baby, well, babies.
It was still surreal to think that I was carrying two living beings in my small bump. Another surreal moment is when you step out of the shower and, for the first time, your reflection reveals that you are noticeably pregnant. Having grabbed a few pregnancy books from the store to read in the hospital, I had read that twins would cause me to show sooner than a single pregnancy. I had sighed at the thought when I read it and cried into a towel when I first noticed it.
I still hadn’t been able to connect with the pregnancy which made me feel guilty. There were women out there simply trying to conceive one child without any luck at all and here I am reluctantly pregnant with twins. I felt shitty for being so disconnected, but every time I thought about it I couldn’t get passed all the lies.
When Phoebe pulled into the parking lot I snapped out of my thoughts.
"You okay?" She asked as she drove around the parking garage next to the hospital.
"Yeah," I breathed out.
Once parked, we headed into the hospital. First stop was Dr. Sherman. When I stepped off of the elevator I was a little surprised by the sight of Aidan leaning against the wall.
He didn’t look like himself; dark circles under his eyes, stubble on his jaw and slumped shoulders. His eyes met mine and it was like clouds breaking away for the sun to shine through.
"Lilli," he smiled widely and walked over, quickly pulling me into his arms.
Phoebe giggled.
"I’ll wait out here for you." She sat down in a waiting chair and pulled a magazine out of her oversized bag.
Pulling out of his embrace, I turned to Phoebe. "You don’t have to stay out here. You can—"
"Get going. I’ll be here." She dismissed me without looking away from her Vogue magazine.
I took a deep breath and headed down the hospital corridor, Aidan close to my side.
"You look good."
"Thank you."
Aidan stopped in front of me and placed his hand on my stomach.
"Lilli…" his eyes came alive, "you can tell." He transformed before my eyes, back to the Aidan I first met.
"Um..yeah. With twins you start to show a little sooner." I shrugged and stood there uncomfortably. I wasn’t a big fan of people pointing out just how big I was getting. Phoebe was a fan though.
Aidan removed his hand. Before I could make a move to walk around him, he cupped my face and pressed his lips to mine.
"I love you," he whispered against my lips. It felt so good, so natural, to feel him against my lips. My hands had already found his shoulders before I realized it and pulled myself away.
"I’m going to be late for my appointment." I caught my breath and walked around him.
His fingers laced through mine as he caught up to me. I glanced over at him, there was a huge smile on his face as we walked toward the nurse’s desk. He was absolutely beautiful.
Once Doctor Sherman was finished, and gave me the clearance to not use the air cast, he sent us on our way to Doctor Munthers.
"Lilli, Aidan, it is good to see you again." She smiled as she entered the room.
"Hello," I said, sitting on the large padded table in the God awful hospital gown.
"So, how have you been feeling?" She looked at me.
"Oh, um, okay. I mean, the throwing up seems to have finally settled into just early afternoon or if I smell something disgusting." I shrugged and waited for the next question, catching sight of Aidan in my peripheral vision. His brow was furrowed and the light in his eyes was gone again.
"Any complaints or questions?" She smiled at me.
"None that you can do anything about," I laughed.
"Okay, well let’s get this going then." She pulled on two latex gloves. "Can you lay back and bring your bottom to the edge of the table?" She asked as she pulled my legs into the stirrups. I did as she asked. Once she was done with the internal exam she threw the gloves away.
Still lying on my back, but no longer in the stirrups, she pulled back the gown and did the stomach measurements. I heard a sharp intake of breath and turned to see Aidan staring at my stomach.
"Everything looks great," she smiled down to me as she fumbled around in the pocket of her white coat.
She pulled out a small gray box with a small piece attached to it, which looked like a microphone. Then I felt and heard the gel squeezed onto my abdomen before she placed the small piece to my stomach. She roamed around for a moment until the room filled with a whooshing sound.
"There’s one."
"One what?" Aidan said
quickly.
Doctor Munthers smiled large.
"Heartbeat," she said with a small smirk.
My eyes widened at the sound. Aidan’s hand clasped mine. I squeezed as the room went silent.
"And there is the other," she announced as the whooshing and swooshing sound filled the room again. "They both sound very healthy and strong."
She pulled the small piece away, wiped my stomach off, and offered me a hand to sit up.
"Everything is looking great. Good job, mommy." She smiled warmly and I swallowed down the panic at being called a mommy.
I hadn't been prepared to be a mommy. And, right now, I wasn't sure what to do about Aidan and me. I don't believe he'd been the one to drug me, but I don't feel safe. Someone did this and not knowing who or why was forcing the distance between us to grow.
Would we ever be a normal couple? Could we achieve normal for our children?
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Aidan
Brief phone conversations and text messages were all I could get from her. She would make excuses for me not to visit. And, though I could ignore her and just show up, I didn’t want to fight with her or argue, which is exactly what would happen.
Seeing her step off the elevator was like the first time a small child sees a rainbow. She was so beautiful and I instantly felt my entire body fill with warmth and the itch to touch her.
I was catching her off guard, but I couldn’t resist wrapping my arms around her. Walking down the hospital hallway, I took in every inch of her. That was when I noticed her belly.
I 'd seen Elora multiple times with James over the past month, Lilli was already almost the same size as her. I felt fascinated and scared at the same time. She was carrying a part of me inside of her. But, what if she was too small and fragile to carry twins? She needed to come home where I could take care of her, I was going to have to insist.
Lilli’s mood lifted when Doctor Sherman took away her air cast and signed her off in full working condition. However, her mood shifted the second he sent us off to Doctor Munthers. I wanted to ask her what was wrong, wanted to know why she felt so tense, but assumed it was still because of the whole situation between us and this pregnancy.
I tried to remain quiet during the appointment, but I had to bite my tongue when I heard how sick she had been getting. It already killed me knowing how far away from she was, let alone now finding out that she’s been ill.
Then the swooshing filled the room and I was awestruck.
That’s my baby, both of my babies, inside Lilli. Hell yeah!
Mentally I was cheering, knowing it wouldn’t be appreciated by Lilli if I burst into a song. She seemed scared and squeezed my hand instead of pushing it away.
Phoebe greeted us in the waiting room.
"I see the cast is gone. How was everything else?" She stood up, shoving a large magazine into her bag.
Lilli shrugged. "Good."
"Actually, she said that the babies were doing great." Lilli looked at me quickly and I winked at her. She tried to hide it, but there was a small smile trying to break through.
"That’s wonderful!" Phoebe squealed loudly, placing both of her hands on Lilli’s stomach. "You hear that babies! You are doing great! Keep growing, so I can take you shopping."
"Will you stop that," Lilli groaned as I chuckled.
"Hell no I won’t stop!" Phoebe stood up with her hands still on Lilli’s stomach. "You know they can hear me in there, I read about it online."
I watched Lilli roll her eyes before I asked.
"Is that true?"
Phoebe nodded enthusiastically to me with an excited smile.
I quickly replaced Phoebe’s hands with my own and dropped to my knees, face directly at Lilli’s stomach.
"Hey there, babies. It’s daddy." I heard Phoebe giggle.
"Get up," Lilli hissed at me and tried to reach for my arms to pull me up.
I swatted her away.
"I’m talking to my children, Shh!" I chuckled.
"No, you are talking to my stomach in the middle of the hospital. Get up!" This time her giggle couldn’t help but break through.
"We’ll continue our conversation later." I kissed her clothed stomach and got up smiling at her. Phoebe giggled and Lilli rolled her eyes.
We all got onto the elevator.
"So, you’re riding back with us right?" Phoebe smirked at me and then I turned my head to see Lilli staring at me.
"Yes, if you don’t mind." I said to Phoebe, but still looked at Lilli.
"Wait, you’re coming to Winter Harbor?" I nodded. "Don’t you need to get back to work or something?" I shook my head at Lilli.
"I’ve got a couple of days." I shrugged. "I cleared my schedule. Plus…" I swallowed the nerves "I hoped that you would come home with me." I had been looking at the floor, so I looked up slowly to see her expression. It was blank.
The elevator announced its arrival to the lobby with a ding and we all walked in silence to the car.
The drive back to Winter Harbor had been very quiet. Phoebe napped in the back seat as Lilli glanced out the passenger window with her head on the headrest. I was about to ask her what she was thinking when my cell phone rang. I looked at the caller ID and furrowed my brow.
"Hello?" I answered.
"Aidan, its Loreley, do you have a moment?" She sounded like she was either rushed or excited.
"Actually I’m driving and…"
"It’s about the birth control pills, Aidan."
"Oh?"
"Are you with Lilli now? She will want to hear this I’m sure."
"Yes, I’m with her. Loreley, I think—"
"I know who it was, Aidan."
"You do? How did you find out? Wait. Who was it and who gave you the information?" I had so many questions that needed answers.
"It was Becca Johnson, you remember her? Dr. Johnson’s daughter? And let’s just say that I sort of stumbled upon the information. I really can’t out my source." She stated a bit too innocent.
"It’s fine, thank you, Loreley."
I hung up my phone and immediately felt Lilli look at me with confusion on her face. I answered her unasked question, though my mind was still reeling from the information.
"That was Loreley." I was scrolling through my contacts. "Gideon’s daughter." I informed.
"I know who Loreley is," Lilli sounded annoyed.
"Sorry," I found the contact I was looking for and hit the talk button. "Lilli, it was Becca." I could feel Lilli’s confusion and then it seemed to hit her.
"Becca is a pharmacist. That’s how I knew her." It was my turn to be confused.
"What are you talking about?" Then I motioned for her to wait. "Lance, it’s Aidan, I need you to look into some information that I was given in regards to the ‘situation’."
"Of course, what do you have?" he replied.
"Look into Becca Johnson" I spoke firmly.
"The same Becca Johnson that…" I cut him off.
"Yeah, the same one," I spit out.
"Damn," he breathed out heavily in disbelief. "I’ll start looking around now and will get back to you."
"Thanks," I said quickly before hanging up. "Now…what are you talking about?"
"Becca," Lilli exclaimed. "She works at my pharmacy, that’s why she looked familiar to me."
I could feel my eyes widen.
"But why would she do this? I don’t understand what her motivation would be."
"I don’t either," Lilli quipped and then sighed heavily as she sat back into the seat. "It feels better to know that it was someone else though."
I bit back my smile. She was finally going to believe me and maybe even trust in me and in us. One could hope.
We spent a week together in Winter Harbor before Donald and I could convince her to even consider going back to New York. Phoebe and Millie seemed to be the final nudge that pushed her to agree. Millie promised to take good care of Donald, who was a little stand offish with me, but I assumed that Lilli
had told him what happened so it was to be expected. Though, I do have to say that at the mention of him being a ‘grandpa’, as Millie called him, he would light up with joy and happiness. Hell, she even bribed him to do his therapy and eat correctly with the promise that it would allow him to be strong enough to hold and play with his grandchildren.
Even though the comments were for Donald, I had to admit that it made me feel incredible too.
Lilli spent most of the trip back to New York with Phoebe. Though we were talking and both had basically discovered the source of the ‘tainted’ birth control pills, there was still a distance between us that wasn’t there before. She was more withdrawn.
"You know, there is this really great maternity boutique on fifth that we should definitely go to and then…" Lilli cut Phoebe off.
"Oh God, can you please not talk about maternity clothing," she groaned.
I watched Phoebe pat Lilli on the stomach.
"Oh, we are going to have to do more than just talk about it, dear." Phoebe giggled.
"Shut up," Lilli growled, scowling at Phoebe.
The banter drew a laugh from me, earning me a scowl. I'd take it. At least she was coming home; her and my, our, children.
Coming soon…
Book 3 in the Modern Arrangement Series:
Happily Ever Addendum
Aidan finally has Lilli and their unborn children home, where he can participate in their lives
and protect them. But when hurdle after hurdle is thrown in the way of their happily ever
after, will they be able to survive betrayal, lies, and the realization that they may be meant for each other after all.
Join Lilli and Aidan as they fight to prove that they are more than the contract they signed.
Tentative Release – May 2013
Also in the works:
All Grown Up
When the Mackey's move next door to teenage Chloe Fisher and her blended family, she
