by Michelle Day
“You shouldn’t be here.” She told him, opening the door and gesturing for him to come in.
“It’s true, you’re leaving.” He stated looking around at the many packing cases.
“Yes. How did you find out?”
“Matt heard rumours at school about you moving to Gloucester. Did you forget that I know that’s home for you?” He spun to face her “Why are you doing this?”
“I’m giving you your life back, you should be grateful.”
“You’ve ripped my world apart, I can’t sleep, I don’t care about anything, I’m empty from losing you, all my feelings are directed towards trying to get you back. You weren’t even going to say goodbye.”
“I thought a clean break was the best thing for both of us.” She walked away to answer the phone before he could reply.
He sat at the kitchen table, ripping small pieces off the piled newspapers there and rolling them into balls, flicking them into one of the empty boxes. Carmen, a mere three feet away from him, watched as she spoke to her friend, keeping her voice low, knowing he could still hear her, hoping he wouldn’t understand the conversation.
“It’s kind of hard to talk right now.” She spoke into the phone.
“Is he there?” Helen asked.
“Yes.”
“I thought you finished with him?”
“I did, this is the first time he’s been here since then.”
“I see, I hope you aren’t considering getting back with him.”
“I don’t know Helen, it’s so hard. You can’t help who you fall for.”
“You can when he’s fifteen years old. Come on Carmen, get your head straight, finish packing and get up here then we can see about getting rid of that baby.”
“Actually, I have made that decision, I’m going to go through with it, I’ve taken on board everything you said about how hard it is but I’ll manage somehow, I know I will.”
“Christ,” Helen sighed “Are you absolutely sure you’re pregnant? It’s not just some wishful thinking, phantom thing?”
“I’m sure.”
“You’ve done tests?”
“Yes. Four to be exact.”
“Have you seen a doctor?”
“Not yet, they are 99% accurate though.”
With that last comment, the penny dropped for Paul. Her growing breasts, the way her tops were now far too tight, the thickening of her waist that he had noticed at their last meeting. He jumped to his feet and pulled out the kitchen bin, finding it empty, he glanced up at Carmen and saw the stricken look on her face as she realised she had said far too much then he headed for the dustbins, up ending them and kicking through the rubbish by the time she reached him.
“Stop this,” she screamed at him, then “No,” as he bent to retrieve what he was looking for
“You’re pregnant?” He stated, holding out the positive test. “You should have told me.”
“I finished with you so that you didn’t have to know.” She replied quietly, defeated.
“Whoa, this is huge,” he sat suddenly on the wall surrounding the patio “I don’t understand why you wouldn’t tell me.”
“Come inside, I’ll make some tea.”
With the hot drink slowly going cold in front of them, they tentatively began to talk;
“So, what do you want to do?” He asked “About the baby, I mean.”
“I’ve decided to keep it.” She answered “I have a job to go to in Gloucester, I’m going to stay with Helen until this place sells then I’ll get a house close to work and take it from there.”
“Do I figure in any of this?”
“I didn’t want to put you in this position which is why I ended it. In reality, I think I just didn’t want to see you run away.”
Paul huffed at her last remark. “Don’t get me wrong, every nerve ending is screaming at me to bolt but what kind of person would that make me? I was serious when I said that I’m in love with you, I can’t help that. I can support you; you won’t have to work once the baby is born.”
“With the sale of the house, I’ll have enough to keep me going for a while even with buying another house, you don’t have to worry about any of this, I won’t tie you down to fatherhood or child support.”
“I want to be part of this baby’s life and yours, moving to Gloucester is perfect, I can come with you, we can be a family.”
“You are fifteen; you can’t possibly take responsibility for me and a baby.”
“I earn more than enough to support you, in fact, I earn more than you do and I have a fair bit saved and I’m only fifteen for another week. By the time you move, I’ll be legal and nothing can touch us.”
“You can’t come with me, it simply won’t work.”
“I want to be with you, how many times do I have to say it before you will believe me? Come on Carmen, you know me; if I was going to run I’d have done it the moment I realised what you were talking about. I’m not going anywhere; I’m in this for the long haul. If you really don’t want anything to do with me then fine, I’ll deal with that eventually but at least let me be a part of my kid’s life.”
They talked late into the night, Paul’s arguments finally winning her over. They decided that she would move and he would stay here, he vowed to visit her regularly and promised to support her in every way he could.
“Telling my parents is going to be epic.” He commented as he closed his eyes.
“Do you think that’s a good idea?” She asked as she snuggled into his side.
“Nothing is a good idea where my parents are concerned but I will have to tell them at some point.” He reasoned.
“I suppose. I must say, you have taken this remarkably well”
Paul laughed dryly and turned towards her “I’m shitting myself Carmen, I mean, ok, I can and will support you but at the end of the day, I’m still a kid and I have no idea if I can do this.”
“Which is why I wanted to make a clean break.”
“Have you even considered abortion?” he asked.
“I thought about it. Is that what you would prefer?”
“I don’t think so,” he mused “I wasn’t suggesting it either, I just wondered if it was ever an option.”
“Paul, you don’t have to do this, I can manage on my own.”
“I know you can but we did this together so we’ll deal with it together. I wish you’d reconsider moving though.”
“My friends are in Gloucester, that’s where I’m going to get the most support. I need to go home.”
“Yeah, I understand that, I just wish you wouldn’t.”
He was alone in the bed when he woke later in the day, he reached out to the crumpled sheets where she had been, finding them cold, she had obviously been up for some time and then panic began to set in as he remembered the packing cases all over the house and his sleep addled mind crashed upon the idea that she had left while he was sleeping. Jumping out of the bed and dragging on his jeans he called her name as he reached the bedroom door, relieved to hear her answering call from the bathroom.
“I thought you’d gone.” he perched on the edge of the bath
“No. I couldn’t sleep.” She stroked his hand, she loved him like this, dressed only in jeans, his toned and tanned torso was very easy on the eye “There’s fresh tea in the pot if you want some” she handed him her mug encouraging him to make her one too. He returned a few moments later with two steaming mugs of tea, balancing one on the edge of the tub; “Are you getting in?” she asked.
“Actually, could I use your phone; I have a few things I need to re-arrange?”
Matt, meanwhile, completely oblivious to his brothers’ anguish, finished his cereal and went to put some bread in the toaster as Monica came out of the utility room.
“Do you fancy pancakes instead of toast?” she asked.
“Maple syrup?” Matt grinned as she nodded. Reaching into cupboards, he handed her the ingredients she would need before re-taking his seat at the breakfast bar.<
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Monica piled pancakes high onto a serving plate and put them in front of her son, giving him a fork and a smaller plate along with the maple syrup before taking her seat opposite him, watching as he eased vast amounts of the cooked batter into his mouth.
“So. Paul’s girlfriend? How much do you know about her?” Monica asked.
Matt looked up from his plate into his Mothers’ eyes and swallowed almost half of the food in his mouth, thinking “Crap,” as he frantically tried to come up with a cover story for his brother while he finished chewing. “Er, not much.”
“Come on Matthew, you need to give me a little more than that.”
“Honestly Mum, I don’t really know that much about her.”
“Let’s start with the basics shall we?” Monica asked “What is her name?”
“Carmen.” Matt replied. He gathered his plate and put it into the dishwasher “Mum, I don’t have time for this now, I’m meeting Hayley at the gym.”
“SIT DOWN.” Monica rarely raised her voice but her family jumped to do her bidding when she did, it only took seconds for Matt to return to his seat “Spit it out Matthew, what aren’t you telling me?”
“Nothing!” Matt’s voice rose with the lie.
“Paul usually brings his girlfriends home, why haven’t I met this one?”
“She has her own place, it makes sense that they would go there rather than here.”
“Exactly how much older than him is she?” Monica frowned.
“I don’t know, a few years maybe.” Not totally a lie as he really didn’t know.
“Matthew,” Monica warned “I know something isn’t quite right with what’s going on with Paul and this girl so you may as well tell me.”
“Look, all I know is that she’s older than him, she has a job and her own place ok?”
“What else?”
“He loves her.” Matt shrugged.
“That much I did know.” Monica sighed “Are they sexually active?”
“This is Paul we’re talking about, what do you think?” Matt shot back.
“Have you met her?”
“Yeah, a couple of times,” he answered but he was thinking “So have you.”
“Describe her.”
“Brunette, curvy, a little taller than you although it’s hard to say, she always wears stupidly high heels, she seems to care for him a lot.”
“Do you know where he met her?”
The words “At school” were out of his mouth before he had even formed the thought.
“I don’t see how she can afford to have her own place if she’s just left school” Monica mused.
“I think it’s been a while since she left school but she is there pretty much every day.” Matt sniggered.
Then Monica realised “She works at the school?”
Matt remained silent trying to think of all the ways he could make this up to his brother as although he hadn’t actually blurted out the fact that Carmen was a teacher, he had provided the information that led Monica to the correct conclusion.
“Oh my God, she’s a teacher?” Monica gasped, waiting for her son to deny it, his silence speaking volumes “Tell me I’m wrong” she almost pleaded.
“I’m sorry Mum; I’ve already said too much, you should talk to Paul about this.”
“Oh I will, don’t you worry about that.” Her expression hardened “How could you keep this from me?”
“He’s my brother, he keeps my secrets, I keep his.” Matt shrugged “Can I go?”
Chapter Twelve
During that next week, Paul was rarely home, he flitted in and out between jobs and the rest of the time he spent with Carmen, helping her pack and taking full advantage of the fact that she was beginning to feel guilty for leaving him. He spent the early part of his sixteenth birthday with her, leaving only to return home to ready himself for a meal out with his family.
The Jensen family were in full preening mode when he arrived home to the sound of hairdryers and the shower running, he found Matt in their bedroom, buttoning a whiter than white shirt.
“Paul, I am so sorry.”
Matt’s words stopped him dead “What did you do?” Paul’s reply.
“Mum, kind of cornered me and started asking questions about you and Carmen.” Matt hesitated “I didn’t say too much but she twigged big time, basically, I dropped you in the shit.”
“She knows Carmen’s a teacher?”
“Uhuh” Matt nodded “I’m sorry.” He repeated.
“Tonight is going to be fun,” Paul replied as he began removing his clothes “I don’t understand why she hasn’t said anything to me, I’ve been here a few times this week.”
“I think she’s waiting for the right moment. You know Mum, she’ll tackle you when you least expect it and when Dad’s not around, she is going to go nuts though.”
“She has no reason too, I’m sixteen, totally legal, there’s nothing she can do now.”
“Yeah, I wouldn’t bet on it” Matt commented.
“Carmen’s leaving in the morning; at least she won’t be around to take any of the flack. I’m going back there later so I need you to cover for me.”
“It’s the least I can do. Hayley and I are going to catch a late film after the meal; just pretend you are tagging along.”
The meal was torture. Matt had obviously clued Hayley into his conversation with Monica over Paul’s current romantic entanglement and she made leading comments all evening.
Sitting opposite his Mother, Paul found himself on the end of more than a few stern looks but those he could take it was the ones filled with disappointment that squeezed his heart. He was on the verge of blurting out that, yes, he was dating one of his former teachers and that, yes, he was madly in love with her when Monica pushed two gift wrapped boxes across the table, one for each of her sons.
Ripping open the paper revealed a mobile telephone for each of them, quelling any further thoughts of proclaiming his love for the woman carrying his baby. The teenagers left the restaurant shortly after desert was served and after walking a short way, Paul veered off in the opposite direction from his twin.
“How was it?” Carmen asked wrapping her arms around his neck as he joined her on the sofa.
“Horrible,” he huffed his lips playing with hers “I think I may be in need of your undivided attention,” he smiled and pulled her closer “How about you undress me and do lots of unspeakable things to the impressionable teenager currently in your care.” He chuckled.
“You just made me sound like a dirty old woman.” She rolled her eyes.
“I wouldn’t be with you if you weren’t.” He answered.
The removal vans arrived promptly at ten the following morning and Paul set about helping the hired hands load the larger items of furniture into the vehicle.
“What am I doing?” He asked as he jumped down from the back of the van “I’m only speeding things up by helping them.” He explained to Carmen vainly trying to wrap his arms around her.
Almost three hours later and the final van was closed up, the workers climbing aboard to start their journey as Carmen and Paul headed back into the empty house, their voices echoing.
“I should make a move.” Carmen told him allowing him to hold her.
“Let me come with you.” He whispered, his lips pressed to her temple.
“Don’t keep asking that, you know the answer,” she reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing her body into his as he kissed her “Just give me a little while to get settled then come and see me, we’ll talk again then, perhaps by that time I will have missed you so much that I won’t want you to leave.”
“Alternatively, by that time, Helen will have poisoned you against me and you will never want to see me again.”
“Never going to happen. You are a very special young man, you are going to achieve many things in your life, I knew it the moment I set eyes on you and I now know it to be true having spent some time with you.”
“I won’t let you down Carmen, I’ll always be here for you.” He allowed his hand to glide over her stomach “For both of you,” he corrected himself .“Take care of my baby” he told her, letting her ease out of his grasp “Call me when you get there, let me know you are safe.”
Knowing he would more than likely have to face Monica’s wrath, he still chose to return home after watching Carman’s car disappear from sight. He felt empty and incredibly sad, he knew he would see her again but the distance she was putting between them seemed like an impossible chasm to cross at that particular moment in time. He heaved a sigh of relief on reaching home when he saw that Michael’s car was nowhere in sight and on entering the house, realised that he was alone. Pouring himself a cold drink, he went out into the garden and rescued the lawn mower from the mangled bits of push bike that Matt was working on and set about tidying the garden.
Tessa was the first to return home, spotting her brother in the garden, she asked if he wanted anything to eat or drink before she made a start on dinner and when he had told her that he would wait for the evening meal, she returned to the kitchen.
Monica was next to arrive. Matt and girlfriend Hayley in tow having bought them with her from Kay’s house where she had spent most of the day. With her blond son and the girl disappearing upstairs and her daughter busy in the kitchen, she joined her youngest son in the garden taking note of the perfectly cut grass as well as the bits of her lawn mower strewn within easy reaching distance of the boy sitting cross legged on the grass.
“Thank you for cutting the grass.” Her opening mantra.
“That’s ok,” Paul looked up and smiled at his mother “I broke the lawn mower,” he gestured to the parts surrounding him “I should be able to fix it though.” He finished turning his attention back to the part in his hands.
Monica, glass of wine in hand, sat at the patio table and watched him work “Are you out tonight?” She asked knowing she would have to start the conversation somewhere.
