by Jan Burchett
Then he sat on the floor, ready to eat his biscuit.
“Mum just doesn’t understand a boy’s stomach,” he groaned as he pulled out one chocolate digestive. “This will disappear into the empty void. I could eat the whole packet and still have room for dinner – except peas. There’d be no room for peas.”
“Greetingz!” came a voice from his bag. “What are peas?”
Max whipped round. Something was clambering out of his bag. His spy radar homed in: monkey face, pointy ears, cheeky smile. It was Toby, codename: Gargoyle Friend.
“Toby!” Max exclaimed. “Awesome. We can play all evening.”
“Is that a cookie?” asked the gargoyle, scrambling over and sniffing the packet.
“Yes,” said Max. “These are chocolate digestives. They’re delicious. Try one.”
He handed Toby the biscuits. Mum had said he could only have one. That didn’t mean Toby couldn’t have one as well.
Max finished his and dived under his bed. “I’ve got something to show you,” he called. At last he reappeared, empty-handed, his hair standing even more on end than usual. “Well, I will have when I find it. It’s my remote-control car. I thought it was under the bed but there are only spiders there.” He rummaged in a box of action figures, then threw all the shoes out of his wardrobe. He emptied a drawer onto a mountain of socks and underpants. “Got it!” he cried at last, holding out a shiny sports car. “You can have first go. You just switch it on and—”
He gawped. Toby’s monkey face was covered in chocolate and the empty biscuit packet was scrunched up in his paw. He was smiling blissfully.
“You’ve eaten the lot!” Max gasped. “Mum’ll think it was me. I’m going to be in big trouble.”
Toby looked worried. “Sorry, Max,” he said. “I couldn’t help myself. You were right. They’re delicious.”
Max jumped to his feet. “I’ve had a brainwave!” he said. “I’ll sneak the packet downstairs and put it in the cupboard. Hopefully, Mum will think my sister Jessica has eaten them all! Stay here. It won’t take me long to carry out my new secret mission.”
Agent Max Black crept down the stairs and along the hall. The television was on and he could see Enemy Agents Mum and Jessica watching it. They were no match for a superspy like him. He sneaked past unseen and opened the kitchen door, making sure that it didn’t creak. Then he skidded across to the cupboard. He reached up to put the empty packet back on the shelf.
“Max!” His mum was right behind him. He hadn’t heard her. She must be wearing her special Enemy Agent Stealth Slippers. “What are you doing?” She saw the empty packet in his hand. “Have you eaten all the biscuits?”
“No!” said Max truthfully. “I only had one like you said.”
“And I suppose the fairies had the rest,” sighed his mother. “You’d better eat all your dinner.”
“I will!”
“I’m giving you extra peas,” she went on. “Now go up to the bathroom and wash your hands before you eat.”
Max escaped.
He wasn’t going to bother to wash his hands. They weren’t that dirty. He’d only made one mud pie at lunch time. Instead he dashed up to see Toby again.
“I’ve got to have my dinner now,” he told him. “You must stay here until I get back. And no more trouble!”
“I’ll be good,” said Toby, looking around the room. “Lots for me to do.”
“Max!” shouted his mum. “Dinner’s on the table.”
Mum doled out the apple crumble and handed it round. Max poured custard over it and tucked in. It was his favourite pudding.
Plop! A large drop of water splashed into his bowl. Then another.
Dad leaped to his feet. “We’ve got a leak!” he cried, pointing up at the ceiling, where a damp patch was spreading.
“Did you forget to turn the tap off, Max?” demanded Mum.
Max shook his head, but he had a nasty feeling he might know who did . . .
“Don’t worry,” he yelled as he charged down the hall. “I’ll see to it.”
He took the stairs two at a time and flung the bathroom door open. His jaw dropped in horror. The basin taps were full on and the plug was in. A bubbly pink waterfall was pouring all over the floor. Toby had discovered Jessica’s bubble bath. Max squelched across the room and turned the taps off.
“Toby!” he hissed.
There was no answer and no sign of his gargoyle friend.
“What have you been doing?” cried Mum. Max turned round. Mum and Dad were standing behind him, looking in horror at the flood.
“I didn’t do it!” exclaimed Max. “I didn’t even wash my hands!”
“You always try to wriggle out of it,” said Dad crossly as Mum threw towels down to soak up the water. “I’ve had enough of your pranks, Max. Go to your room. No more apple crumble and no TV tonight.”
Max thought about it. He was sorry not to be finishing his pudding but he had a much more important mission: Find Toby. Who knew what other mischief the gargoyle was going to get up to?
He rushed into his bedroom. He looked under his bed and in his cupboard and rummaged through the pile of underpants. No gargoylz.
“Time to find clues, Agent Black.” he said to himself.
He went back to the bathroom, tiptoeing in case his parents heard. No Toby there. But on the landing carpet he saw a line of small bubbly pawprints. “Excellent,” he muttered. “I have a lead.” The prints trailed across to Jessica’s room. He leaned over the banister and listened. His family was still eating crumble. The coast was clear. He followed the prints.
“Greetingz!” An upside-down monkey face flashed backwards and forwards in front of him. Toby was swinging from Jessica’s frilly lampshade. Max looked around in dismay. Jessica’s toy box had been emptied, every drawer was open and there was green playdough covered in tooth marks all over the floor. “Did you make this mess?” Max demanded, zooming round putting everything back to rights. He couldn’t believe he was tidying his sister’s bedroom!
“I was looking for more biscuits,” Toby explained. “But all I found was that horrible green stuff. Bleurgh! Tasted disgusting.”
“Come back to my room before you get me into worse trouble.” Max went to the door to make sure there was no one about.
“Dangling drainpipes!” said Toby as he flew along the landing. “I haven’t had this much fun since I put sneezing powder in the vicar’s hankie! Let’s play a trick on your family.”
“I wish we could,” sighed Max. “But I’d end up with no pudding for a week. I’d never survive. You’ll have to try and behave yourself till tomorrow.”
Back in his bedroom, Max rummaged under his pillow and found his Game Boy. “I’ve got this really cool game,” he told Toby. “It’s called Attack of the Martian Mushrooms. I’ll play it first to show you what to do and then you can have a go.” He showed Toby the brightly flashing screen. “You can hold it in your paws, can’t you?”
“Course I can,” said Toby, squatting down to watch.
Max clicked some buttons and started the game. He escaped in a rocket before the mushrooms captured him. Then, with some amazing skill, he leaped to level sixty-two. “One more minute and you can have a go, Toby,” he murmured as he concentrated on blasting the Monster Fungus that had him in its evil tendrils.
At last he had reached the Toadstool of Terror. “I’ll just save my game and—” Max suddenly realized it had gone very quiet in his bedroom. He looked up. Toby was nowhere to be seen.
“Oh, no,” he groaned, leaping to his feet. “Not again!”
He sped across the landing, checking every room. He peered inside the airing cupboard and pulled out all the clothes in the dirty washing basket, scattering them on the carpet.
No gargoyle in sight!
There was only one thing for it. Agent Black was going to have to venture into enemy territory. He would have to go downstairs and search there – and all without his parents seeing him.
“Activate in
visibility shield,” he muttered.
He crept down the stairs and checked the hall. The door to the cupboard under the stairs was open. He flashed past the lounge with an expert commando roll and stuck his head into the cupboard. It was a total mess. Shoes, cloths, polish – everything looked as if it had been picked up and tossed in the air.
Good, thought Max. Toby’s been here. I’m getting close.
He shut the door so no one would notice the disaster area and moved stealthily on to the kitchen. He put his secret listening device – codename: Ear – to the door. He could hear a lot of splashing. He opened the door a crack – and gawped! Toby was sitting in the sink, playing with the pots and pans. The water was slopping over the edge and the room was filled with bubbles of washing-up liquid.
Max slid across the wet floor. He put his hands into the soapy water to grab his gargoyle friend. “Toby!” he gasped. “You’ve got to come—”
“What have you got there?”
Max’s spy radar went into overdrive: small, shriekingly loud and a complete pest. He knew what that meant. It was Enemy Agent Jessica Black, codename: Disgusting Little Sister. She was pointing at Toby, who was sitting in a saucepan.
“It’s nothing,” Max said quickly, moving to stand in between his sister and the soapy gargoyle.
“You’ve got an animal there,” she insisted, trying to push past him. “Let me see it.”
“No, Jess,” said Max through gritted teeth. “Go away!”
“Mum!” yelled Jessica.
“Be quiet,” begged Max. “I’ll give you anything you want, only don’t get Mum in here.”
“MUM!” Jessica stuck her tongue out at him and ran to the door. “MUM!” she bellowed down the hall. “Max has come downstairs. He’s playing in the kitchen with a monkey.”
“Quick, Toby,” hissed Max. “You have to hide!” He looked frantically round the room. There was only one place he could think of. “Can you hold your breath?”
“Yes.” Toby grinned. “For ages!” He closed his mouth and ducked under the bubbles just as Mum burst into the kitchen. Jessica peered slyly round her from the hall.
“What are you doing, Max?” demanded his mother. She looked very angry. “You were told to stay in your bedroom.”
Agent Max had to put his super brain into gear and think fast. “I was . . .” he began. Then it came to him. “I felt so bad about the mess I made upstairs that I came down to do the washing up for you,” he declared triumphantly, splashing his hands about in the water and pulling out a wooden spoon.
“Oh, Max,” said his mum, her face softening. “That’s so sweet. Thank you. We’ll leave you to it.” She turned to Jessica. “Come on, Jess,” she said brightly. “Bedtime.”
“But I want to see the monkey!” Jessica wailed.
“What monkey?” asked Mum.
“Max has got a monkey in the sink.” Max didn’t know how long Toby could hold his breath. He had to get rid of Mum and Jessica quickly. More fast thinking was needed. He picked up the sponge and squeezed it so it looked like a mouth.
“Ooo-ooo, eee-eee!” he squeaked, making the sponge jiggle about. “This is what she thought was a monkey. I was just mucking about.”
“NOOOOO!” yelled Jessica, stamping her foot. “He had a real monkey. It had ears and a tail.”
Mum peered at the soapy suds. Then she grabbed Jessica and hauled her out of the door.
“Nice story, Jess,” she said, “but you have to go to bed now.”
They went, Jessica protesting all the way.
With a huge splutter, Toby burst out of the water.
“That was close,” breathed Max. He looked at all the dirty plates. “But now we’ve got to do the washing up for real.”
“Dangling drainpipes!” exclaimed Toby. “Can’t wait. I love water and bubblz.”
He stuck the sponge on his arrow-shaped tail, grabbed a plate in each front paw and scrubbed them clean.
“Awesome!” cried Max. “Two in one go. Wish I had a tail.”
They soon had everything washed and piled in a wobbly tower on the draining board.
“Great work!” said Max, impressed. “And we only broke a plate and three glasses.”
There was a noise from the hall. Toby jumped into the breadbin as Dad came in.
“Good job, Max.” He patted him on the shoulder. “Go off and play now. I’ll do the drying up.”
“Thanks, Dad,” said Max. He sidled round towards where Toby was hidden. Somehow he had to get him out of the room without Dad seeing. He opened the breadbin a crack. There was Toby, tucking into a large crusty loaf.
“You can’t do that!” Max whispered. “That’s breakfast.”
“Max, why are you talking to the breadbin?” Dad asked, puzzled.
“I saw a mouse in there,” said Max. He made a grab for Toby and stuffed him up his jumper. “It’s OK. I’ve got it. I’ll take it away.”
He slipped out of the kitchen and dashed up to his bedroom, leaving Dad staring at the bread and the large, gargoyle-shaped teeth marks in it.
“Right!” Max said, shaking Toby out onto the bed and snatching up his Game Boy. “It’s your turn now.”
Toby gave a huge yawn. “Too tired,” he said in a sleepy voice. “Bedtime.”
He scrambled up into the wardrobe and made himself comfortable, hanging upside-down from a coat hanger. Soon Max could hear rumbling snores.
That’ll keep him out of trouble, he thought in relief, until I get him back to school in the morning. Then he can play all the tricks he wants!
4. Science and Snakes
BRRRRRRRING! THE BELL rang for the end of school. Everyone in Year Four jostled out of Oldacre Primary and rushed home. Everyone except Max and Ben. They were mooching along the corridor to Science Club.
“It’s not fair!” moaned Max, dragging his feet. “Why should Miss Bleet force us to go to a stupid club after school? It’s taking up valuable gargoyle time. We haven’t seen Toby and his friends all day.”
“It’s not like we did anything wrong,” agreed Ben. “We only put sherbet in Miss Bleet’s coffee to see what would happen. It bubbled up really nicely. I’d have thought that was enough science for one week.”
Max opened the classroom door. His spy radar immediately picked up on someone in the front row: skinny, knobbly knees, ponytail. Max knew what that meant. It was Enemy Agent Lucinda Tellingly, codename: Bossy Boots. She was sitting smugly with her friend Tiffany. She stuck her tongue out at him. “I thought things couldn’t get any worse,” he muttered.
He and Ben sidled in to take their places at the back of the classroom and Max’s spy radar whirred into action again: tall, bald, glasses on the end of his nose. It was Enemy Agent Mr Widget, codename: Boffin.
Mr Widget gulped as he saw them arrive. “Now we’re all here at last,” he said, rubbing his hands together nervously. “We’re going to have such a good time!”
“I bet!” groaned Max under his breath.
“We are going outside to collect worms for a new wormery,” Mr Widget continued.
Max let out a deafening whoop of joy and did a high-five with Ben. Maybe Science Club wouldn’t be so bad after all.
“Glad you’re so keen, boys.” Mr Widget beamed, wiping his forehead with relief. “Now get into pairs, take one of these buckets of soapy water each – and follow me.”
“Yuck!” came a disgusted muttering from Lucinda. “Why can’t we pick flowers like we did last week?”
The Science Club kids marched out of school and over to the sports field, which was hidden behind a row of trees. They tried not to spill the contents of their red plastic buckets on the way.
“I wonder what this is for,” said Max as he and Ben slopped along, leaving a trail of soapy water behind them. “Worms don’t need washing, do they?” Science Club arrived at the field. The far end was covered in sports equipment. The whole school had been practising for Sports Day. There were boxes of beanbags and balls, hoops and sacks.
<
br /> Netting and long plastic tubes had been laid out for the obstacle course, there was a sandpit ready for the long jump, and in the far corner was a huge trampoline.
Mr Widget gathered the club around a patch of football pitch where the grass had been marked out in squares with string. “Our first task is to find out how many worms there are in the football pitch,” he said.
“That’s a silly idea, sir!” gasped Ben. “It’ll take all night to dig them up.”
“And then we won’t be able to use the pitch for football,” added Max, aghast.
“We won’t be digging up the pitch,” explained their teacher patiently. “We just pour the soapy water on these squares of ground and – hey presto! – the worms pop up. They always come up for soapy water. Then we count them and find the average number of worms in each square. We multiply that by the number of squares that are marked out which gives us the number of worms in a quarter of the pitch, then we multiply that by four and – hey presto! – we find out how many worms there are in the whole pitch. Couldn’t be simpler.”
“Don’t know what he’s going on about,” said Max, chucking some water on their patch. “Let’s just find those worms!”
“Do we have to say hey presto! sir?” asked Ben.
“That will not be necessary,” sighed Mr Widget. “When you have finished counting, you may each catch one worm and place it carefully in this pot of earth I’ve brought along. These will be the worms for the new wormery.”
All the kids in Science Club poured the water over their squares of grass and eagerly knelt down to wait. Max and Ben stared at their bubbly patch of earth. At first nothing happened. Then suddenly a little pink worm popped up behind a dandelion. There were squeals of horror from Lucinda and Tiffany as worms appeared on their patch of grass as well.
