by Nikki Ash
“Ok,” she says smiling. “Hmmm… Let me see…” She is so cute as her eyes shoot up to the ceiling and her finger taps her chin in concentration trying to think of what to say.
“Ok, I visit New York yearly, I love fuzzy socks, and I hate exercising.
“Your lie is you hate exercising.”
She smiles big. “Nope! Drink up! My lie is that I visit New York yearly. Other than going to Breckenridge and to the different sports arenas for the UFC fights, I have never been anywhere, like on vacation. I would love to go to New York one day.”
I down the shot of Patron and think how awesome it would be to take her to New York. I was there a while back for a photo-shoot for the UFC and there’s so much to do and see.
“See?” I tell her. “It’s hard to tell when someone is lying.”
“I guess,” she says softly. “But I wouldn’t want to purposely mislead someone I am trying to be with. If those women lie on The Bachelor they are basing their relationship on a lie. They must know it won’t work out in the end.”
My heart speeds up at her words. She is too damn good to be true. She is so damn sweet and innocent. I grab another shot and down it letting the alcohol numb my brain… and my heart. She is confusing the shit out of me.
“Hey! I didn’t even give you any truths or lies. You aren’t supposed to drink yet.”
“Sorry, go ahead. Try again.”
“Ok, I love to gamble at the slot machines, I love to cook, and I love to play candy crush on my phone.”
“I have no clue what candy crush is, so I am going to go with that one for your lie because we live in Las Vegas and your cooking is good as fuck.”
She giggles and pours me a shot. “Drink up! My lie was that I love to gamble at the slot machines. I have never even gambled before.”
I shoot the shot back welcoming the burn in my throat. “How is that possible? Haven’t you lived in Vegas your whole life?”
“Yep, but I never went gambling. I also have never been to a strip club or to watch the fountains at the Bellagio. I spent so much time studying and going to school I guess I forgot to take advantage of where I live.”
Before I know what I am saying I blurt out, “Well that’s going to have to change. When my leg is out of this cast we are hitting up the strip clubs, a casino, and the fountains all in one night.”
She laughs and pours herself a shot. “Ok, so now it’s your turn. Tell me two truths and a lie.”
My cellphone rings right then and my dad’s attorney’s name shows up on the caller ID. He called once before I was put in the hospital and a couple more times, never leaving a voicemail. I might as well answer this shit and get it over with. I show her my phone is ringing and answer it.
“Hello.”
“Hey Caleb! It’s Jason Caldwin, your father’s attorney.”
“Yeah, I know who you are. What’s up?”
I see Hayley trying to act like she’s not listening next to me. I want to stand up and walk away but I can’t with my gimp leg.
“Caleb, we need to speak. It’s about your father…”
“I haven’t spoken to my father in over seven years. If he wants to talk to me he can call me himself.”
“He can’t do that, Caleb. He passed away last month. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Gloria handled the funeral since I couldn’t get you to answer but there is the issue of the will. I need to meet with you in person so we can go over the details.”
Holy shit! My dad is dead. The man who chose his pedophile pimp of a wife over his son is dead. My last words to this man were I’m out of here. I should hate him but my heart hurts. It shouldn’t hurt for this man but flashbacks of life before my mom died flash in front of me. Camping, sports events, concerts, him taking my sister and me to the park on Sunday mornings to let mom sleep in. I want to hate him but knowing he is dead, all I can feel is pain.
I don’t even realize I have dropped the phone or that there are tears pouring down my face, when Hayley moves towards me grabbing my phone to talk to Jason. I don’t even know what is said. It’s all a blur. She sets the phone down and looks unsure of what to do. Can you blame her? The crazy mixed signals I have sent… Not wanting her to touch me. How do you comfort someone without touching him? And then I lose it. The lump in my throat that feels like it’s going to close up and choke me to death suddenly releases and I cry.
Before I can question it I am laying in her lap bawling for the loss of the man I once looked up to while Hayley runs her fingers through my hair massaging my scalp. She doesn’t say a word just letting me let it all out. When I finally stop crying I don’t wait for her to ask me if I am ok. I don’t know what makes me do it but I let it all out.
“My dad is dead. I haven’t seen him in seven years.”
“Why haven’t you seen him?”
“My stepmom raped me when I was fifteen.” I hear Hayley gasp at my words but she doesn’t say anything.
I can’t look at her. I don’t know what makes me trust her in this moment but I don’t question it.
“After she forced herself on me and took my virginity, she had sex with me for several years while my dad was away on business. Then she pimped me out to a bunch of unhappily married women. I have never had sex of my own free will. When my dad caught us together she blamed me and he chose to believe her. I left and never looked back.”
I give her a few minutes to absorb everything I just gave her. When she doesn’t say anything but continues to play with my hair, I know she is waiting for me to continue; she is letting me get this all out.
“It’s why I hate being touched. It’s not that I don’t want to be touched. I just want it to be my choice. I spent years being forced to touch women I didn’t want to touch.”
Her fingers stop moving so I turn my face towards her stomach to look at her. I keep my eyes closed afraid of the disgust or pity I will see. After counting to three I look into her eyes, only I don’t see disgust or pity, I see a beautiful woman smiling at me.
“Well that’s good to know. I thought it was me, like maybe I smelt bad or had bad breath. I’m glad to know it’s you not me…”
I can’t help but burst out laughing. I word vomit all over her and she lightens the mood by cracking a joke. I can see why she is such good friends with Kayla and Liz. She is good.
“Are you ok?”
If that ain’t a loaded question…
I left out a heavy breath. “I don’t know. I hate that I never had a chance to make him believe me but at the same time I am mad that he chose not to believe me. Now he’s dead and his attorney needs me for the will… I don’t know if I can handle flying back there and being in the same room as that cunt.”
“Well how about this? Marco has a three-day weekend coming up. You will need help getting around, so why don’t we fly there together? We can stay at a resort just outside of Boulder at one the ski resorts and take Marco to see snow!”
Damn this woman and her positivity, how did I not see how amazing she is before now? Oh, that’s right… because I pushed away all women lumping them into the same compartment as the women who have lied to me in the past.
“You would do that for me? After I continually ignored you and pushed you away?”
“How about we start over? Let’s be friends. You are going to be here for several weeks anyway. Let’s start over.”
Friends? Fuck that! I don’t think I want to be friends with Hayley. I am pretty sure I want to be more than friends but I guess friends is a good place to start…
“Ok, friends.”
She gives me a full-blown mega-watt smile that could seriously light up a dark room and all I want to do is grab her by her neck and pull her face to me and kiss her. But I don’t. Instead, I smile back.
“I think this calls for another shot,” she says. I sit up and we both take a shot. Then we go back to watching The Bachelor as she swoons over the guy and I point out all the lies women are telling making her laugh.
Ch
apter Seven
Hayley
It’s Friday afternoon and I stop in to the gym to see a few of the fighters before Caleb, Marco, and I head to Boulder to meet with his father’s attorney to discuss his will. The night Caleb confided in me I wanted to find his stepmom, Gloria, and beat the shit out of her. I wanted to make her pay for what she did to Caleb, but I knew Caleb wouldn’t want my pity, so I made a joke to make light of the conversation and it worked. We even became friends that night.
I am getting all my files situated when Alex comes walking into my office without knocking and plops into a seat in front of my desk.
“Hey Alex! How’s your wrist doing?” I ask coming around my desk, taking his hand in mine to check out his finger function.
“It’s good, Doc. Thanks.”
“So what brings you by?”
“I haven’t seen you around lately. How’s Caleb doing?”
“He’s good. He’s healing.”
“That’s good. So I was wondering if maybe we can go to dinner sometime.” Before Caleb and Marco moving in with me I would have said yes but now I feel like I need to focus on Marco and I’m not sure how I feel about dating with Caleb staying with me.
“Can I think about it?”
“Sure. How about you take my number and call or text once you decide.”
“Ok,” I say, handing him my cell phone to input his number in. I hear his phone ring and he laughs guiltily.
“Now I have your number as well.” He winks at me as he hands me back my phone. With a kiss on my cheek he heads out the door.
“What was that about?” Liz asks standing in the doorway as soon as Alex leaves.
“What?” I ask unsure what she is talking about.
She sits down in the seat Alex was just sitting in.
“Alex kissing you on the cheek…”
“Alex kissed Hayley on the cheek?” Kayla asks walking in the door without knocking dropping into the seat next to Liz. Apparently today is drop in on Hayley day…
“He asked me out to dinner. No big deal.”
“And what did you say?” Kayla asks.
“I said I would think about it.”
“Uh huh,” she continues.
“Uh huh what?” I plop back down into my seat.
“How are things going with Caleb?” Kayla asks. Of course Liz leaves the interrogation to her.
“Things are fine. He’s healing. His father passed away so we are going to Boulder today to take care of his dad’s will. He and I have actually become friends.” I am trying so hard to sound nonchalant.
“And how many times have you ogled his fine ass body when he’s come out of the shower?” Kayla asks. Both her and Liz laugh and I just shake my head. They will never let me live that down.
“He makes sure to change in his bathroom. I’m sure the last thing he wants is me seeing him without clothes on. How’s Chloe?” I ask hoping to change the subject.
Kayla smiles big and pulls out her cell phone to show us pictures of Chloe and Faith. “They are so precious!” I say looking at the cute pictures.
“Karen, with DCF says it shouldn’t take long for the adoption to go through.”
“I’m so happy for you guys Kayla.” And I am. I am glad she is getting the chance to be a mother to Chloe as well. She has mentioned so many times feeling broken because of her hysterectomy. Seeing her being given the opportunity to adopt Chloe and provide a good life for her makes me so happy.
“Why do you look so sad?” Liz asks. Oh, now she wants to jump in and be observant. Fabulous!
“I’m not sad. I just don’t think having a baby is in the cards for me. Don’t get me wrong. I love and adore Marco. He is an amazing kid. I feel absolutely blessed to have him in my life…”
“Hey,” Liz says coming around the desk to give me a hug. “You have plenty of time to have a baby and when you do Marco will make a great brother. You will meet an amazing guy who will want Marco in his life and you guys will have beautiful babies.”
Kayla comes around my desk and we end up in a group hug.
“Hmm… Anything special I am walking in on? I can join if needed,” Alex says from the door waggling his eyebrows. We all laugh.
“No, but I need to get going. We should all do something soon. Poor Caleb is stuck in the house with just me.”
“Stuck isn’t the word I would use,” he says smiling at me.
“Weren’t you just in here lover boy?” Kayla asks putting her hands on her hips.
“Yeah but I just thought I would see if Hayley has thought about what I asked.”
I need to give him some credit on his persistence.
“You just asked her!” Liz says. I love that my girls always have my back.
“Ok… Ok…” Alex says putting his hands up and backing away. “Think about it, Hayley!” he yells before Kayla closes the door on him. We all are cracking up laughing.
“Just for the record I am team Caleb,” Kayla says. Liz laughs and agrees.
“You both are crazy! First you need to get Caleb in the game then we can pick teams. Ok, I really need to get going. Dinner soon?” Both ladies nod yes as we walk out to the gym floor.
I say goodbye and head out to my car. About halfway through the parking lot I feel like I am being watched. I can’t even explain the weird feeling I get. I quicken my steps and once in my car press the lock button. I glance around but don’t see anything that looks alarming. I chalk it up to paranoia. Caleb got a call from the detective of his case earlier this week letting him know the four men who were arrested were denied bail, which is great but the problem is none of those men were Hector or Santos. They are still out on the streets because they weren’t there when everything went down. The guys who were at Marco’s house are the enforcers, sent to scare someone into paying. Apparently Marco’s mom was in some major debt from buying drugs. Because Hector and Santos are both still free, Caleb insisted I put a tracker app on my phone and requested I let him know if I am going anywhere other than to the gym.
While driving I think about what Kayla said regarding the adoption and decide to call Karen and find out the process of adopting Marco. I want to make sure nobody can take him from me. She lets me know the process is a bit longer for a single mom but everything should go through smoothly. I hate that Caleb won’t be on the paperwork but I need to still go through the steps to ensure Marco is mine legally.
I get home in time to see Marco getting off the bus and wave to him. While he is walking closer to the house I get the feeling of being watched again. I look around and don’t see anyone but the few parents walking back to their houses with their children. I am definitely paranoid!
“You ready to go see some snow?” I ask Marco handing him a bag of snacks for the trip.
“Yes!” He beams at me and then goes to his room to put his backpack away.
Caleb comes hobbling out from the room with his crutches. Luckily when the guys broke his leg it was only the lower part so it’s not a full leg cast. He can use crutches instead of needing a wheelchair. Unfortunately they also broke his ribs and shot him in the shoulder and chest so his crutches only get used for short distances. We will be taking a wheelchair with us to the airport. Thankfully Bentley offered to charter a private plane for us to Boulder so Caleb wouldn’t have to deal with his broken body on a public plane.
“Ready to go?”
Before I can answer Marco answers for me. “Yes sir!”
Once on the plane I give Marco a present. I picked up an iPad for him this week so he wouldn’t be completely bored on the plane and at the attorney’s office. As soon as I give it to him, ready to go with apps, he goes crazy with excitement.
“This is mine?”
“Yep! All yours. I downloaded some games and if there’s any other games or apps you want just let me know.”
He gives me a hug and thanks me. I don’t think I will ever get tired of his hugs.
The stewardess takes our drink orders and Caleb jokingly asks if
I would like some Patron to finish our drinking game that got stopped from his phone call.
“Oh no, I’m good. Root beer is just fine.”
We are seated on opposite sides of the plane so he tells me to come sit next to him so we can talk.
“How was work?” For a second I wonder if someone said something to him about Alex asking me out but I doubt it.
“It was good. How was your day?”
“I spoke to the manager with the UFC. They are suspending my contract until I am healed. I have no idea how long it’s going to take to be at a hundred percent and ready to fight again.”
“I’m so sorry. Kayla is going to work with you, right?”
“Yeah, once I am ready. I just feel so restless. Fighting is all I have ever known.”
“The weeks will fly by and you will be healed before you know it.”
We get to Boulder and have a rental SUV waiting for us. Caleb sits in the back letting his leg sprawl across the backseat, and Marco sits in the front with me. We arrive at the resort, have a late dinner, and get situated. We decided to meet with his father’s attorney first thing in the morning to get it over with, which will give us the rest of the long weekend to enjoy our time with Marco.
Caleb obviously can’t ski with his broken body and after our last group trip where I fell on my ass a hundred times before giving up, I have no desire to, but we are bringing Marco to the ski resort so he can do snowboarding lessons and go tubing while Caleb and I hang out and watch him. I am sure Caleb will have a lot to figure out after meeting with Jason, his father’s attorney.
“Time for bed, buddy,” Caleb announces after Marco’s show finishes. We both get up to tuck him into bed. Somehow it has become part of our routine for both of us to say goodnight to Marco together once he’s in bed. I try not to think too hard about what will happen once Caleb is healed enough to get his own place and it’s just me saying goodnight to him. I think the only reason he hasn’t yet is because he can’t drive with the cast on, which makes it difficult to even find an apartment.
