by Nikki Ash
“Hey sweetie, did you have a good nap?”
He nods his head yes and cuddles up next to me.
“I need to go to the mall to get a new phone. Why don’t you get dressed and we will stop on the way and get lunch?”
“Ok.”
After we are both dressed, we walk out to my car to head to the mall. I stop short seeing Caleb’s truck parked in the front of my house. “What’s he doing out there?” Marco asks.
“I’m not sure. Why don’t you get in the car and I will go speak to him?”
I get to the truck and see Caleb is texting on his phone. I knock lightly on the window. When he sees it’s me he rolls down his window.
“What are you doing out here?”
“I couldn’t leave you guys alone. I just figured it would be better to sit out here since you didn’t want me to be around you.”
Gosh, I am such a bitch. I refused to see the man who saved us and he sat in his truck because I didn’t want him near me.
“Thank you.”
“There’s no need to thank me. This was entirely my fault. I saw his threats but didn’t take them serious enough. And then I walked out and while I was looking at apartments, you both were kidnapped. Do you think maybe we can talk?”
“I would like that but Marco and I are heading out to the mall. The guys who took us smashed my phone so I need a new one. I also need to get him lunch.”
“Would it be ok if I went with you guys?”
I want to say no because being around him hurts but at the same time being around him completes me. It also doesn’t help that I feel guilty for hiding this pregnancy from him. This whole situation sucks.
“Sure.”
He gets out of his truck and runs in the house to change quickly and is back a few minutes later. On our way to the mall he asks Marco how he’s feeling and Marco says he’s ok. He also says he wants to eat at the food court so we head straight to the mall. After we park we go straight to the wireless store. I let them know my phone was destroyed and decide to upgrade to a new phone.
Marco and Caleb are looking at the latest technology when a salesman walks over and starts talking to Marco. “You should ask your dad to buy this for you.”
I hold my breath praying Caleb doesn’t deny it; I know it would hurt Marco’s feelings. Instead he pats Marco on the back and says, “He just got a new iPad. We can’t spoil him too much. We will have to see how his report card is this semester.” Marco laughs and points out his grades are really good.
After the gentleman sets up my new phone we head to the courtyard to get something to eat. Marco is so hungry he wolfs down all of his food and asks for more.
“Hey mom, can I go grab another chicken sandwich?”
“Sure sweetie.” I hand him money and watch him walk the ten feet over to the counter to order a sandwich.
“I don’t know how I am supposed to let him go to school. I don’t want him leaving my sight.”
I look at Caleb and realize I said that out loud. He’s staring at me weird… like with adoration maybe… I’m not sure.
“What?”
“He called you mom, again. He did it when you were brought to the hospital.”
“Oh yeah.” I can feel a big smile grace my face. “He asked me if he could call me mom at the park. I also told him I was approved to adopt him.” I feel tears spring forward.
“Why are you crying?” Caleb leans over to wipe the tears falling down.
“When we were being held hostage, I thought that moment in the park would be the only time in my life somebody would call me mom, and I was just so glad it was Marco. And then I found out…” I stutter realizing I almost announced my pregnancy to him right here in the food court so I try to play it off. “Umm… when I got out of the hospital and we were lying in bed watching a movie, I realized how short life is. I really want to be a good mom.” I laugh knowing my hormones are going crazy and I seriously need to stop talking. I am barely making any sense.
“Hayles, you deserve it all. More than anybody I know. I am glad Marco is calling you mom. You are his mom. You are amazing with him and you will be just as amazing with any kids you have in the future.” And insert guilt because I haven’t told Caleb he is going to be a father.
I look over to see Marco heading back and think back to him saying he wants to call Caleb dad. “He asked if he could call you dad but didn’t get a chance to ask you.”
Caleb doesn’t have a chance to respond but his face says it all. He would like nothing more than to be a father to Marco. I know regardless of what happens between us he will be an amazing father to this baby as well.
The rest of the day goes by quickly. We walk around the mall and shop a little. Marco picks out a new game for his PlayStation and asks if we can go home so he can play. My body begins to feel achy and Caleb notices insisting we go home. When we get home Caleb heads back to his truck but I stop him.
“Come inside, please. I know we have stuff to work out but until you find a place you are welcome to stay here.”
He says ok and then follows me inside. I know he wants to say more but this isn’t the time to talk.
We sit on the couch and watch Marco play his game. Caleb joins in for a little bit but excuses him self to make a few phone calls. While he is on the phone I let Marco know it’s time for bed.
“Can I go to school tomorrow?”
“Are you sure you are ok to go to school? You have your therapy session in two days… Maybe you can wait to meet with her.”
“I’m ok going back. I know what happened sucks but I like going to school and I don’t want to get behind. Please.”
How can I possibly say no to my kid begging me to go to school. He is so much stronger than me and I won’t let my parental fears scare him.
“Ok, fine. But why don’t I pick you up from school and you can practice MMA while I work in the afternoon?”
“Sounds good. Can you ask Caleb to come in as soon as he gets off the phone? I want to talk to him.”
“Sure thing.” I give him a kiss on his forehead and say goodnight.
When I get back out to the living room Caleb is sitting on the couch with his head sagging down.
“You ok?”
He looks up and shrugs. “They have enough evidence to put the guys who survived away. They need yours and Marco’s statements but they won’t need us to be at the trial. They will be held without bail. It’s over.”
“So why are you sad then? That’s a good thing.”
“I walked away. I know I messed up, Hayles. I should have been there at the park with you guys and none of this would have happened. Please tell me you will be able to forgive me.”
I can see he is beating himself up over this and I know I need to forgive him and tell him about the baby. We need to figure this all out together but I can’t find the words.
“Marco wants to talk to you. He asked for you to go say goodnight.”
“Ok, thanks.”
Caleb
I practically beg Hayley for forgiveness and she can barely look me in the eye. How can I expect Hayley to be on the same page as me when the last thing I said to her was not to touch me and then told her I was looking for apartments to move into? She’s hurt and justifiably so. I need to speak with her but first I need to go talk to Marco.
“Hey buddy.” I walk into his room to sit on the edge of his bed. “Hayl… I mean your mom said you wanted to talk to me.”
Marco’s face lights up at the word mom. He might have had another mom for the first twelve years of his life but she wasn’t one percent of the mom Hayley is to him.
“Yeah… umm… before we got taken, we were talking and she said I could call her mom… and I was wondering… I know you can’t adopt me but well, I’ve never had a dad before but I was wondering if maybe you would be my dad. I know I am older than a baby but…”
“Marco, stop. I don’t care if you are two, twelve, or twenty-two. I would love to be your father. You are nev
er too old to have a dad and I don’t care what the courts say. I love you and since the moment you walked into that gym I have thought of you as my son.”
Marco sits up and gives me a hug and I swear in that moment it feels like all is right in the world.
“Get some sleep, bud. I love you.”
“Love you too, dad.”
I walk back to the living room feeling like I am floating in the clouds and see Hayley wiping her tears.
“You were totally listening weren’t you?” I say jokingly.
She laughs. “Yes! I had to hear for myself... is he not the sweetest kid, ever?”
“When he asked me to be his dad I wanted to go out and buy him a car.”
Hayley cracks up laughing and shakes her head. God, I love to hear that woman laugh.
“I know we need to talk but I am fucking exhausted, Hayles. Would it be ok if we talk tomorrow? I just want to lay in bed and hold you, please.”
She nods ok and after we both change into clothes to sleep in, we climb into her bed. She lays facing away from me and I pull her close so I am spooning her from behind. I wrap my arms around her body and nuzzle my face into her hair inhaling her scent. I am pretty sure today was one of the best days of my life. Hayley and Marco are both safe, I am lying in bed with the woman I love, and Marco wants me to be his dad. The only thing left to fix is Hayley and I.
I wake up to an empty bed and when I look at the clock I see it’s nine in the morning. Hayley must have snuck out without waking me up. I know I have some serious groveling to do. I walk through the house and see both her and Marco are gone. I grab my laptop and cell phone and begin working on a plan.
Chapter Seventeen
Hayley
After getting Marco off to school I go to the gym to check on my fighters. If it wasn’t for me working for Cooper I imagine I would have been fired a long time ago. I need to let him know about the pregnancy so he knows I am planning to go part-time and once the baby comes I would like to stay home. I don’t know what things will be like for Caleb and me but I have money put away and I will use it if I have to. Thinking about it, it’s probably best if I let Caleb know first.
I see a couple fighters and then I receive a text from my sister asking if she can please take Marco this weekend for the entire weekend. He has never been away from me for that long so I let her know I will speak to him and get back to her. Marco and I go to court Friday to sign the papers. I plan to surprise him by having him play hooky and spend the day with him.
I consider texting Caleb so many times throughout the day but I don’t know what to say. I don’t know how to deal with him walking out. I know he’s sorry but it doesn’t change the fact that he wanted to move out.
When the afternoon rolls around and it’s time to go get Marco I run into Ashley who is visiting Kaden.
“Hey girly,” she says giving me a hug. “How are you feeling?”
“I’m ok. What are you up to tonight?”
“Nothing much. I’m off tonight.”
“Marco and I can come over and we can do dinner.” I know I am totally avoiding Caleb but I also want to spend time with Ashley. She has seemed all over the place lately and nothing works better to ignore your own problems than focusing on someone else’s.
“Sounds good!”
I grab Marco from the bus stop and don’t stop at home. Within a few minutes there is a text from Caleb.
Caleb: Are you coming home?
Me: Having dinner with Ashley. Don’t wait up.
Caleb: If you are staying away because of me I can leave.
That is definitely what I am doing but I am not about to tell him that.
Me: That’s not what I am doing…
Caleb: Ok
As Marco and I walk up to Ashley’s house I bring up the subject of Hannah wanting to spend some time with him. “Hey Marco, Hannah asked if she can take you for the weekend. What do you think?”
“Are you ok with me going?” I love that he is worried about me but his job isn’t to worry. His job is to be a kid. My job is to worry about me.
“Hey, I am fine, and I will be ok with you at Hannah’s. Your job is to have fun. Got it? No worrying.”
“Ok, then I would like to go. Aunt Hannah is cool.”
We knock on Ashley’s door and I text Hannah letting her know this weekend is a go. Ashley answers the door and let’s us in.
The boys run to Tristan’s room to play video games and I follow her into the kitchen where she grabs a bottle of wine. I notice a few notices on her counter. Some say first notice, one says third notice, and one says final notice. I look away not wanting to be nosy but Ashley sees what I was looking at, her faces looking embarrassed. She grabs the papers and shoves them into a drawer.
She brings the wine to the couch and I follow with two glasses setting them down on the table so she can pour.
“Kaden brought this over the other night,” she says by way of explanation.
“Who’s judging?”
“I know you saw the notices, Hayley. I just don’t want you to think I am behind on my bills yet I am buying bottles of wine.”
“Trust me, I am the last person to judge anyone. But if you want to talk I am here.”
Ashley lets out a heavy sigh and shakes her head no. “I just don’t even know where to begin. Talking about it won’t change anything.” She begins crying and I cross over to the side of the couch she is sitting on and just let her cry it out.
After a few minutes she composes herself. “Geez, I am a horrible host.”
“Hey now, I pretty much invited myself over.” We both laugh.
“The truth is I am kind of hiding from Caleb. Before Marco and I were taken we got into a fight… well not really a fight… I don’t even know what happened. And he said he was moving out. Now I know we need to talk but I’m just not ready yet.”
“Well you are welcome to hide out here as long as you need to.”
We decide to order pizza for dinner and after we all eat and the boys play some more video games for a couple hours, Marco and I finally takeoff so he can take a shower before bed since it’s a school night.
We get home and Caleb’s truck is in the driveway but he isn’t in the living room. I notice his bedroom door is shut. Marco takes a shower and after I say goodnight I take a quick shower and go to sleep.
Sometime in the middle of the night I feel Caleb’s hands on me. It feels like he is spooning me and at one point it even feels like his hand is running across my stomach, but when I wake up and the bed is empty I chalk it up to a dream.
I get ready for work and head out just like yesterday except today I invited Marco and myself over to Kayla’s place using the excuse he would love to see Chloe. After dinner and dessert we head home and once again Caleb is in his room. I say goodnight to Marco and go to sleep having the same dream as the previous night.
It’s Friday morning and Caleb’s door is open and empty. He must have already left for the day. Marco is up early and excited for two reasons: I sign the adoption papers this morning and later tonight he will be going to Hannah’s for the weekend. She has told me she will be by right after work to get him. I offered to bring him to her but she was adamant I meet her at my house. So much for avoiding Caleb tonight…
“You ready to do this kid?”
“Yeah, I am.”
We get to the courthouse and have a seat in front of the room number Karen let me know the judge will be in. I am so excited to finally get to formally adopt Marco but it breaks my heart Caleb isn’t here with us. I know he wouldn’t be able to adopt Marco but I still wish he were here to share this moment with us.
Karen arrives with the paperwork and shortly after the judge calls us in.
He reads off the required legalities asking me to confirm who I am and then asks me to repeat after him promising to care for and provide for Marco. When we are done. I sign on the dotted lines and are handed copies of the adoption paperwork. I have tears in my eyes and I know I
am seconds from crying. I can’t believe this is real. I am a mother and to the most amazing, genuine, and selfless child. I feel so completely blessed. I turn around to smile at Marco and that’s when I see Caleb sitting on the bench next to him. He has his phone out like he was taking pictures and I lose it. The tears stream down my face and I walk over to give them both a hug.
“I love you, son.”
“I love you too, mom.”
Caleb takes pictures of Marco and me and then Karen offers to take a couple pictures of the three of us. Once we are done we head out to the parking lot. I don’t want to be rude to Caleb but I had planned to spend the day with Marco, just the two of us.
“Umm… So…” Before I can say anything he saves me. “I have to get going. I have a couple errands to run. I will see you both later. Ok?” He gives Marco a hug. “Congratulations, buddy. You have the best mom there is.”
“That’s because I got the best kid,” I add. We say goodbye and Marco and I head to his surprise.
After we stop at the store to pick up lunch to go we arrive at Hollywood Skate Park. It is known to be one of the best skate parks. We get out of the car and I walk around to my trunk to grab Marco’s skateboard.
“Are you serious?” Marco fist pumps into the air and runs around to grab his skateboard from me. He gives me a huge hug. “Thank you so much. This is so awesome.”
He runs over and joins the teens that are all skateboarding. We spend the rest of the day at the park. I take picture after picture of him. When he gets hungry, he takes a break and we eat lunch together. He tries to show me how to ride on the board but I suck at it. By the end of the day he is exhausted and ready to go home. This time I know our day will not end with either of us being taken. This is our second chance. This is our fresh start.
“Thank you for today, mom.”
“You’re welcome, sweetie.”
I give him a kiss on his forehead and then we head home.
We aren’t even home thirty minutes when Hannah shows up to get Marco. I give her Marco’s backpack with clothes for the next two nights and kiss him goodbye. I am not sure what I am going to do this weekend but I know staying home and sulking isn’t it. Just as they are leaving Caleb pulls up and blocks my car in.
