Finding Forever

by Linda Oaks

  “What?” He asked, none the wiser to my smart-ass sense of humor. Then, he dug into the pocket of his jogging pants and retrieved a bottle of Tylenol.

  “Nothing,” I replied, deciding to remain silent as he twisted off the bottle’s cap. Patiently waiting, I held out my hand and watched as he shook two pills from the bottle into my palm.

  “Alright,” he stated, shifting on the bed as if trying to get comfortable. He took a deep breath. “Are you ready?” he asked, and I poked him again in his side just for good measure. He glared at me.

  “Any day, junior,” I said sarcastically, and he rolled his eyes at me.

  “We were dancing, drunk off our asses — the best time of our lives kind of dancing. I don’t recall how many glasses of champagne you had by the time that song came on, but it was as if someone had suddenly flicked a switch in your brain. You started crying like a big baby.”

  “Oh no,” I muttered. “I did not.“ There was nothing worse than a crying drunk. I was horrified at the thought that I may have actually been one last night.

  “Yes. Yes, you did. I blame it all on Garth Brooks,” Brandon replied, shaking his head. To Make You Feel My Love started playing, and… you lost it. Even Addie couldn’t console you. Devon walked right up to our table as bold as brass, held out his hand, and you placed yours in his.”

  “Are you serious?” I gasped, feeling mortified. Brandon was pulling my leg. He loved to torture me, and knowing that I couldn’t remember anything from last night was just the icing on the cake.

  “As serious as a heart attack,” Brandon deadpanned, not a glimpse of emotion showing on his face. He was telling me the truth. Suddenly, I felt even sicker.

  I handed him the Gatorade, and rolled over in the bed groaning and pulled the sheet and blanket over the top of my head. “I wish I would just die.”

  “Oh, it gets better,” I heard Brandon gush. He was laughing, obviously enjoying himself at my expense. He was an ass, but I would do the same to him and he knew it. “Jake argued with him, but Addie put a stop to that. Then Devon led you across the ballroom floor and you followed after him like a little, lost puppy. I tried to stop you, but he brushed me aside… told me to mind my own fucking business.”

  I lifted the blanket and sheet and peaked out at him from underneath. “I’m sorry, Brandon.” He acted as if it were no big deal, shrugging his shoulders.

  “I know you still love him, Kara. I’m pretty sure by the way he behaved last night; he still has feelings for you. Especially after you returned looking as if he’d nailed you in the coat closet.”

  “What!” I screeched, suddenly remembered a flash of Devon’s mouth on mine but if I was that drunk, Devon wouldn’t have taken advantage. He wasn’t the type, besides my vajayjay wasn’t even sore, I thought taking a quick mental inventory of my body. I’d have definitely known if Devon had been there. “Oh my god! I’m so embarrassed!” I screeched, yanking the sheet back over my head.

  Brandon yanked the sheet down past my face. I gazed back at him noting his concerned expression. Brandon was a worrier. “I love you, Kara Lisette Thorn. I just don’t want to watch him destroy you all over again.”

  “I won’t let him,” I replied earnestly. Devon could never destroy me again. Once had been enough. My heart had already been ripped into shreds. He couldn’t hurt me anymore since the kind of pain he’d inflicted never healed. It was an open wound, a constant reminder of my own brand of stupidity. I’d trusted him too much.

  “I’m not too sure about that,” Brandon muttered, staring me down. His blue eyes regarded me intently.

  Unless I faced Devon and got everything out in the open, I would never get over him. I was stuck in the past. I needed closure. I needed to understand the reason as to why he’d sent me away, why he’d split my heart wide open. I wanted answers, and only Devon McGraw could give those to me.

  “Just be smart, Kara. That man has secrets, and Jake is so tight lipped. I have no clue what is going on with Devon. He’s not the same guy he once was. If I were a betting man, I’d say Addie doesn’t know anything either.” If Addie had any information regarding Devon, she would tell me. Of that, I was positive. My best friend wouldn’t keep something so important from me. We were sisters from another mister. I always had her back, and she always had mine.

  “Grab a shower, and then met Cal and me in the kitchen. Things always look better after breakfast,” Brandon stated, smiling down at me. How could he be so cheerful? He was drunk last night, too.

  “Well aren’t you just full of wisdom this morning,” I smirked, hating his happy expression. Suddenly I felt an overwhelming sense of guilt. “Did I ruin your special night?” I asked, feeling ashamed and realizing just how much Brandon truly loves me.

  “Heck no,” Brandon replied with a huge grin. “With you passed out, Cal and I had wild monkey sex for hours. I had fun soothing his battered ego.”

  I made a gagging a sound, and Brandon threw back his head in laughter. Thank goodness I had slept through it all. Brandon stood, staring down at me. “The Kara I used to remember wouldn’t hide from anyone, and she especially wouldn’t cower beneath a blanket like a little girl. Now get your ass in gear, Thorn. You’re not making me late for my honeymoon. Six hours from now I plan to be sitting on a beach drinking a fruity concoction while Cal rubs suntan lotion all over my body. We’ll drop you off on the way to the airport.”

  Holding the sheet, I reached behind me and grabbed a pillow, chucking it at Brandon. He caught it, laughing. “You want me to bring you a pair of shorts and a T-shirt?” he asked, pausing by the door.

  “Please,” I said, since I couldn’t stand the thought of putting on the dress I’d worn the night before.

  “Get a move on it,” Brandon ordered. “I’ll leave you some clothes on the bed.”

  “Brandon,” I yelled when he started out the door, and then winced at the pain in my head. I was dying. He turned, curiously looking back at me from the hall. “You still love me?”

  His face split into a huge grin. His eyes twinkled. “Bet your sweet ass, I do!” He replied whole-heartedly with a wink, and I laughed as he turned, disappearing down the hall.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  I WAS A WOMAN ON a mission. After Brandon and Cal had dropped me off at the country club to pick up my ride and I’d managed to apologize for at least the twentieth time for clocking Cal, I was going to the one place I’d sworn I would never go again… the garage, or The Mod as it was referred to nowadays.

  Over the course of the last four years, Devon had taken his uncle’s old, run down garage and had magically transformed it into The Mod, drawing customers from all across the United States who clamored for his badass modifications and re-builds of their beloved machines. He was truly an artist, transforming hard cold metal into something so much more. His talent was limitless. He’d made a name for himself and was already a legend in the modified truck world at the modest age of twenty-six. Even his accident hadn’t slowed him down, having already been featured on the cover of Custom Truck Magazine.

  Fondly, I remembered tagging along with him to his shows and the way we would celebrate if his truck placed or if he ended up winning a trophy. Those were the good ole days, before everything had gone to shit. There’d been a huge piece on him in the magazine. I had seen it while I was standing in line at the grocery store check-out, and snatched the magazine from the rack to rush home only to devour the article whole. Devon was like chocolate and I’d gorged, later feeling nauseous at having overindulged.

  Inside the magazine, the article included a picture of him looking smug, sexy, and confident leaning against his first truck… our baby. It was the same truck he used to drive me around in, the one in which we shared so many memories. As if in a trance, I’d stared at his picture for hours. I still had the magazine, even though I would never admit my stalkerish tendencies to anyone — not even to Addie or Brandon.

  Twenty minutes later, I was taking a lef
t and drove along the country road past the small shopping center that had doubled in size since the last time I’d been here. During the drive I’d decided to call Addie. I needed to let her know that I was okay since she’d already texted me ten times. When Addie heard of my plan, she’d tried to talk me out it. She didn’t think I was ready, but I knew deep down that I was. I needed answers. I was more than ready. Plus the small but faint hickey I’d discovered during my shower only fueled my convictions.

  Devon still cared for me, plain and simple. Now, if I could only make him admit it. Either way, today would set me free. Right now, my life hung in limbo. I was sick of living this way — always wondering what might have been, all these questions without answers. I needed closure. I gave my signal, and turned onto the paved drive pulling up in front of the garage right next to his supped up truck.

  He was here. I was nervous and pulled the visor down to check my appearance in the tiny mirror. There wasn’t a stitch of makeup on my face. My long blonde hair was slicked back into a ponytail. Plus, I wore Brandon’s shirt and shorts along with my heels. I was really making a fashion statement with this outfit, I thought sarcastically.

  At the sight of no other vehicles except for the ones stored underneath the red metal canopy that ran along the side of the building, I suspected he was alone. There was a good chance anyway; at least I hoped he was alone since today was Sunday and the garage was closed. However, I was counting myself lucky to even find him here. He could have been out with Blair, the witch. God, I hoped she wasn’t here. Ugh! No backing out, Kara, I silently scolded myself. Blair or no Blair. I was going in. Well, here goes nothing!

  The garage had completely done a one eighty since the last time I’d seen it and had been renovated beneath columns of chrome and steel appearing almost futuristic and out of place in its setting. The double doors of the garage bay appeared to be mirrors. I studied my reflection briefly wondering if it was two-sided glass. Could Devon see me?

  There was zero visibility inside of the building, but I looked like a hot mess. Before making the trip here, I should have gone home and changed. High heels and ball shorts were definitely a fashion faux pas. Not to mention the fact I shamefully wore a wife beater underneath Brandon’s white T-shirt since I wasn’t wearing a bra. I hadn’t been able to wear one with the dress I’d worn last night. It had been built in.

  Opening the door, the chime of a bell sounded as I stepped inside the lobby. Gone were the plastic lawn chairs I’d remembered. They’d been replaced by rich, red leather stools that lined the front counter and were the focal point for the entire room. Off to the side sat a matching trio of bright red leather sofa chairs, obviously more comfortable than the old plastic green ones that used to be here. A flat screen TV hung nearby, right beside a chrome clock that read one thirty-five.

  In the far corner, I noticed the couch. I couldn’t believe he’d kept it around. It was the same old ugly, puke green. It had been re-upholstered, but in the same tacky fabric, and sported new shiny silver tacks which did nothing in making it appear any less gaudy. It was still an eyesore and so out of the place in this room. A smile touched my lips. It was quiet sentimental of Devon to hold onto that old couch since it held so many memories.

  Beneath my feet, the floor was a black and white checkerboard design and gleamed with a fresh coat of wax. Across the counter I stared at a diamond plated sign hanging on the wall that read office. A window of smoky glass revealed Devon sitting behind a desk. He was watching me. I hadn’t noticed him when I’d first come in. Instead of walking behind the counter and entering his office, I propped myself against one of the chrome and leather stools and waited for him to come to me.

  His lean angular face displayed none of his inner thoughts. He seemed as if he were in no big hurry to greet me anytime soon. That should have hurt my feelings, but it didn’t. Instead, it gave me the opportunity to observe him. He fiddled with his computer then finally pushed back his chair and stood. Under the weight of his icy blue eyes, my blood began to simmer.

  The sight of Devon in worn jeans and an old T-shirt left me breathless. His jeans clung lovingly to the length of his muscular thighs, cupping and displaying every curve and ridge to perfection. The T-shirt appeared almost thread bare and hugged his body like a second skin leaving little to the imagination. I’d always been a sucker for tattoos, and Devon had more than his fair share. At one point in time, I’d traced the outline of every tattoo on his body as if it were in braille. I’d loved touching him, but that had been once upon a time when Devon McGraw couldn’t get enough of me, nor I of him. It seemed like a lifetime ago. It was time for him to come clean. He seemed to have wanted me… now, if only I could get him to act on it.

  I wasn’t exactly dressed for seduction today, but… oh well, it was too late now. I should have thought this through. For once in my life, I should have listened to Addie. Devon came toward me. He favored his left leg. The limp was barely noticeable, but my eyes had been trained to detect everything about him. No matter how insignificant or mundane.

  “What can I do for you, Kara?” He asked, his deep voice instantly giving me chills. His voice had always been such a turn on for me, and I forced myself to stand still and not squirm beneath his gaze.

  “Is that the way you greet all of your customers?” I asked, forcing a smile to my lips that felt un-natural.

  “You’re not a customer, Kara. Like I said, what can I do for you?” He stated, repeating himself, his tone rigid. He shifted then ran a hand through his hair. It appeared as if he was frustrated. His eyes remained locked on my face. The intensity of his stare made my heart thunder. I was here, and this was not the time to chicken out. As Brandon always said, “Go big or go home,” and I wasn’t going home. Well, not yet.

  “I believe you know, Devon,” I replied, amazed by how calm I sounded when on the inside I was shaking like a leaf. He didn’t say a word. He didn’t have to. His eyes drifted over my body. He seemed tense. Then he moved from behind the counter, and I held my breath as he walked toward me. The sight of Devon McGraw in motion was enough to make me melt into a big, gooey puddle at his feet. He brushed past me, his tall, strong frame heading straight for the door.

  What the Hell? Was he leaving? Startled, I stood and watched as he lowered the blind. The lock on door clicked into place. I couldn’t believe it. He’d locked the freaking door!

  Every muscle in my body tensed, waiting anxiously. I was poised, hovering over an abyss. What was he going to do to me? My heart felt as if it were going to explode. When he turned to face me, the hungry glint in his eyes stole my breath. I held up my hand, suddenly leery as he stalked toward me with a panther’s grace despite his limp. My hand hung in the air between us, as if it could deter Devon when he was in one of his moods. My eyes focused on his, and the erratic beating of my heart pounded like a drum in my ears. Thump. Thump. Thump.

  This man owned me, and I’d been a fool to ever think he wouldn’t always have me… heart, body, and soul.

  “Devon, wait,” I stammered, taking a step back. We still needed to have that little talk. I bumped into the stool behind me just as his hands reached for me lightning fast, cupping my face before I had time to react. The warm roughness of his skin flooded my senses and felt so right against mine.

  “Is this what you came here for, Kara?” He rasped, his voice a tortured whisper. His eyes locked on my lips as his mouth lingered directly over mine. The warmth of his breath seductively whispered along my lips begging for my surrender. Unable to stop myself, I nervously wet them in anticipation of his kiss.

  “Is it, Kara?” He roughly demanded, trapping me against his muscular body. Want and desire unraveled inside of me. All of my thoughts, along with the rest of my sanity, bailed the moment he touched me.

  My hands skimmed along his sides, savoring the sensation of lean flesh and hard muscle. My fingers unconsciously reaching for the frayed hem of his shirt. When I encountered the warm bare skin above his hips,
he jerked against me and groaned. The primal sound made my insides clench with need. I was done for. Looking up into his hooded eyes, my fingertips lovingly traced the defined ridges of his abs. He quivered like a bow beneath my touch. My fingers continued their journey drifting lower and tracing the line along the v dipping beneath the waistband of his jeans.

  “Don’t tease me, Kara,” he growled, his hands suddenly gripping mine like a vice and holding them captive. This attraction threatened to consume us both. Instinctively, I pushed against him; rubbing my breasts against his chest and watching his face contort with pleasure. It shouldn’t be legal for me to feel the way that I did just by touching this man. “Give me your mouth,” he ordered, his voice husky with desire.

  A willing captive, I raised my head offering him my surrender. I’d give him anything he wanted. His lips slammed against mine, and we burned wildly out of control. My hands squeezed his. His palms slid along mine, skin against skin, as I pressed closer, trying to meld myself into Devon’s body. Our mouths moved hungrily, seeking fulfillment. His tongue thrust into my mouth mimicking his hips. It was beyond my control not to thrust back to meet him. I craved this man.

  He released my hands, gripping my hips and lifted me into the air. My legs slid around his lean waist. My hands tangled in his thick, dark hair. I couldn’t get close enough. I’d missed this, the weight of his body against mine, and the smell of his skin. I’d missed him. I missed the openness my heart felt; the ability to feed the longing and desire that fueled us.

  “Fuck baby, you feel so good,” he gasped, abandoning my mouth to trail hot wet kisses along the side of my neck making me squirm. His tongue brushed my earlobe, and I arched my back to press my breasts harder against his chest. His hands gripped the fleshy part of my thighs. His fingers digging into my skin drove me crazy. At any given moment, I was going to spontaneously combust.