by Ashley Lyn
I look over at him and he has three books—two paranormal romance novels, and a book about raising toddlers.
He looks at me and winks. I can feel my cheeks heating with a blush and I want to curse.
He makes his way over to me and kisses me. “You got the ones you wanted, baby?”
“Yeah, you ready? I’m freaking starving.”
You know that feeling you get when someone is watching you a little too intently, causing the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end? I stop at the clearance section to see if there’s anything good, and look around to see if I can figure out who’s watching me.
I turn and look to my right and see just the edge of a book and trench coat. The person peeks over the top of the book, right at Shamus, then ducks back behind the bookcase. Turning my body so that it looks like I’m going to show Shamus something, who is holding our spot in line, I see the person pop out from around the shelf. I do a double take when I see the person has pink leggings on under the trench coat.
I grab the super cute stationary and make my way over to Shamus, and slide my arm around his waist.
“You all right, Savannah?”
“Yeah...” I trail off when I think of Jenny, and how she didn’t tell him that her teacher was skeeving her out.
“Actually, there’s someone over there with a gray trench coat on who’s giving me the willies.”
His whole body goes solid as stone. He turns and looks over his shoulder, and bursts out laughing.
“Shamus, what the fuck?”
“The person over there in the trench coat is my mother. Why the hell she’s stalking me is beyond comprehension.” His shoulders are shaking in silent laughter. “Go over there to the clearance section again. I’m going to sneak up behind her.”
“Don’t scare her.”
He grins evilly and makes his way over to the other side of the store and sneaks up the aisle his mother is in. I watch as he comes up behind her.
“What are you doing!” he yells, making everyone jump.
I watch as she gives a startled squeal and jumps about a mile in the air, before smacking him on the shoulder.
“Don’t scare me like that, you big bastard. I almost peed my pants.”
Shamus wraps her up in a big hug and picks her up off the ground. She then takes off the trench coat, revealing bright pink leggings with silver splashes of glitter, along with a V-neck, white T-shirt. She goes back over to the café in the back of the store and hands the trench coat back to a startled man.
“Thank you for letting me borrow it.”
“I didn’t let you borrow it! You just came over and pulled it off my chair!”
“Tomato, tamato.”
I’m cracking up laughing as I watch Shamus stand there with his hands on his hips, laughing like a loon.
His mom catches a glimpse at the book about raising successful toddlers he’s holding, and slams her hands on her hips with a glare. His eyes get wide and he leaves her in the dust as he starts hustling his way over to me.
“Shamus Ryan McAllister!”
He catches up with me and we zip through the line. His mom is waiting for us at the door, tapping her foot, hands on her slim hips.
I walk up and hug her. “I’m so happy to meet you! My name is Savannah, and I’m a…friend.”
“Girlfriend.” My entire body goes still. Turning my head slowly, exorcist style, I look at Shamus in total and complete shock.
He shrugs his shoulders, like he didn’t just blow my fucking mind.
“My name is Starla, dear, and I’m pleased to meet you.”
He loops his arms with ours and guides us out the door. “Mom, did you drive or take a cab? We’re headed to get a mountain pie from Beau Jo’s. Would you like to come?”
She snorts. “A cab. I don’t feel like being arrested today. These drivers here are worse than they are at home.”
“Savannah listens to Disney movie soundtracks to keep from running the idiots off the road. Maybe you can try that?”
A deep sigh comes out. “I don’t have a license anymore. That jackass, Grant, didn’t take too kindly to me tossing eggs at the back of his car when that pansy was creeping along, driving forty-five in a sixty.”
Shamus pinches the bridge of his nose. “Mom, isn’t Grant the sheriff?”
“That jackass. I think that election was rigged. I swear to all that’s holy, that man has a stick the size of Texas stuck up his butt.”
We all pile into the car, but his mother and I get into a slight disagreement when she tries to sit in the back. The look on her face has me pausing. Tears are welling in her eyes, so I let her in the back.
Seatbelts on, we just sit in the parking lot.
“Shamus?” his mother says shakily.
“Savannah and her boss found the kids nine weeks ago. I’m here waiting for when they can extract them from the situation they’re in. I didn’t tell you because the situation they’re in is volatile, and there’s no guarantee they’ll be able to get them. It could be tomorrow, or it could be months from now.”
His mom starts crying, so Shamus gets out and stuffs his big ass in the back. His mom starts laughing through her tears. “You squeeze any more of your big ol’ butt back here, there’s no way we’re getting you back out.”
He squats down outside the car. “I never meant to hurt you, Momma. I just wanted to wait until I knew for sure. As soon as I found out, the panic was overwhelming. My life was a mess, and my house was in shambles. I looked like a homeless person, and I couldn’t let go of the past. I had to put in the work. My house is renovated. I started my own construction company, and I’ve been seeing an amazing grief counselor. I wanted to be someone my children would be proud to call Dad.”
She cups his face in her hands. “I love you, even though you’re a stubborn ass. Now, let’s go get some mountain pie.”
He snorts and climbs into the driver’s seat. “Where’s Dad?”
“He’s at home, putting our house on the market.”
“What?”
“We’re moving to Spartan. I figured I gave you enough time to get your shit together, and I was coming to beat some sense into you if I had to.”
Shamus pulls into traffic, and I’m smiling, listening to them chattering on like magpies, all while in the back of my head, I’m still reeling from his little “girlfriend” comment in the book store. We started out just dipping our toes in the dating game, and he upped the ante with the mind-blowing sex. Girlfriend is something else entirely, something that makes me so freaking happy and scared shitless at the same time.
I’m starving, and my mouth is watering for a mountain pie, but at the same time, I want to go home and find out what the hell he was talking about, and what that means for our future?
After Beau Jo’s last night, Shamus dropped me off at home and took his mother back to her hotel, where he ended up staying to talk to her. When he got home, he slept in the other bedroom, and my heart broke just a smidge. The doubt crept in that he regretted his girlfriend comment.
When I got up this morning, he was already gone on his run, and now I’m sitting at work, chewing my fingernails down to the quick. We never got a chance to talk about his “girlfriend” announcement, and I’m not totally sure what to do with it.
A part of me wants to wrap my arms around it and hug it to death, making it mine. The other half, the woman inside who’s been passed over, ignored, and treated like shit, wants to totally disregard that comment by playing it safe, and burying herself in a hole and never come out.
Dramatic? Yes. A true approximation of my conflicting emotions for fucking sure.
“Savannah, are you going to pull your head out of your ass sometime today, and maybe do some work?”
I jerk my head to the side and glare at Carter. I jerk the papers off the printer and hand them to him, putting him on ignore.
He pulls a chair up to my desk and rests his elbows on the shiny surface. Resting his chin on his hands, he says
, “Spill it, girly.”
“I’m sort of dating Shamus, and last night, he called me his girlfriend to his mother. I don’t know what to do with that comment. We had sex yesterday, and holy shit balls, it was sooo good. We said we were taking it slow, and no commitments, then boom! In one day, we fuck, and now he’s calling me his girlfriend. I didn’t get a chance to talk to him about it, and I don’t know what to do.”
“I really didn’t need to know about the quality ass you got. You’re like a little sister, and that wigs me out, but everything else? Smooth out the chick freak-out you got going on and talk to him about it when you get home. Guys like Shamus don’t just spout random shit like that. He’s a solid guy, yes. He’s going through some tough shit right now, and I think that it might be a bad idea to jump feet first into a relationship. Soon as he gets those kids back, he’s going to be up to his eyeballs in some rough emotions.”
“Wow. You’re like Dr. Phil or something.” I try to give him a hug, and he puts his hand up on my forehead. I pull back and high-five his hand.
I shake my head as he gets up and walks away. I jump back on the work wagon and try my hardest to chill out and focus on work. But, my brain isn’t wanting to get on board, and by the time I leave work, I feel strung out and fucking exhausted.
I pull into my driveway in tears. Traffic was shit, and I got pulled over and got a ticket for “aggressive driving.” I’m overwhelmed, and just want to take a bath, drink some wine, and be fucking alone.
Wonder of all wonders, Shamus isn’t home, and my heart sinks a bit. Trudging into the house, I strip and grab a bottle of Moscato before making my way into the bathroom. Starting the bath water, I dump in some bath salts and essential oils.
Sliding into the water, I put my ear buds in and zone out.
I’m standing in the doorway, creeping on Savannah. She has one leg out of the tub, resting on the lip. Her head is back, and she’s snoring.
My emotions are all over the place. Yesterday was so perfect. Sex with Savannah was beyond anything I have ever experienced. When that thought entered my brain, I was so blissed out that the gravity of it didn’t register until later.
I didn’t even remember feeling that intense sexual rightness with Jenny. I momentarily felt like an asshole about that. I loved Jenny deeply, but to be honest, sexually speaking, it was never like that.
Then, later, at the book store, when my mother showed up, her shy hesitation over how she should introduce herself, I blurted out and called her my girlfriend. For about five seconds, I felt panic, but then, I realized that I wanted this woman. I want her in my life, my bed, and in my children’s lives.
I know that she’s anxious to talk to me about the girlfriend statement, but the conversation with my mother needed to take priority.
I need to wake her up. Her mom called me when she couldn’t get ahold of Savannah, so she called to tell me that they’re having a family dinner, and that me and my mom are invited.
“Savannah…” She jerks at the sound of my voice. Knocking her bottle of wine in the tub, she lets out a cry when it smacks her knee. She looks up at me with tears in her eyes. “You okay?” I ask her.
Her emotions bleed off her face, and a blank look takes over. I barely hold in the flinch.
“Your mom called me when she couldn’t get ahold of you. They’re having a family dinner, and she invited me and my mother as well. My mom is in the living room, FYI. Your mom said dinner is at six, which is in thirty minutes.”
She still doesn’t say anything, just nods her head.
“Savannah, I—” She holds her hand up, stopping me.
“I need to get out and get ready if we’re going to be on time. I’ll be out in twenty.” She takes a deep breath. “I think we need to step back a bit with this relationship or whatever, Shamus. We went from zero to, you know, whatever it is.”
“Together, Savannah. You’re my girlfriend.” She shakes her head, pissing me off.
I open my mouth to tell her that I meant it, that I want her to be mine.
“Please, Shamus,” she whispers. “I need time, and you need time.”
“Don’t tell me what to feel or think. If I needed time, I would ask for it. Sounds like you talked yourself out of this relationship without speaking to me, and that’s not okay. Get out. We need to have a talk.”
She smacks the water, looking pissed as hell. I give zero fucks.
She stands up and I hand her a towel. She tries to stomp past me, and I smack her on the ass.
She glares at me over her shoulder, but like I said, she can throw all the sass she wants, she’s still mine.
She starts to make her way over to the closet. Grabbing her, I toss her on the bed and follow her down. Her towel comes loose, exposing her sinful body. I pin her arms over her head and bracket her legs with mine.
I lean down and run my nose along her neck. When I get to her ear, I whisper, “You’re mine, baby. You’re my girlfriend, or whatever you want to call it. Don’t care. This is us, me and you. You have issues, you talk to me. You do not close up. Communicate with me.”
I jerk one of her legs up and over my hip.
“You feel that, baby?” She moans as I grind between her thighs. “These pretty moans are mine, and this pussy is mine. These fucking pillows you call lips are mine.”
I lean down and kiss her like a starving man before I get off her and stand next to the bed. “Get dressed. We leave in ten.”
I blow out a breath and back out of the room, then close the door. She tried to shut me out, and that I will simply not stand for. Soon as we get back from dinner, we’ll be having a come to Jesus meeting, because the one thing I realized today is that I love Savannah, and want her in my life, more than anything.
I really don’t want to go to my parents’ house for dinner. I think I would rather have my toenails ripped off one by one than be there. My body is on fire. Fucking Shamus, the ass. Gets me all worked up with his caveman routine, then leaves me fucking hanging. I’m pissed, mostly at myself, for working myself up into such a lather about shit. Good old doubt fucking with my head, as usual. It would be nice to not self-sabotage a relationship for once in my life.
Doesn’t mean I’m not still pissed at him for leaving me hanging like this.
I get ready, just going through the motions. I dry off, put on makeup, and get dressed. There’s not one ounce of my usual happy in my body.
I momentarily think about my vibrator, wishing like hell it was still hidden under my mattress. I held a funeral for it yesterday in the trash can. After having sex with Shamus, I didn’t think I would need it again.
I walk out of my bedroom and immediately want to walk back into my room and crawl in a hole. Shamus is nowhere to be found, and his fucking mom is checking out my deluxe vibrator. I’m cursing myself for not taking the fucking trash out.
“This is the Cadillac of vibrators, Savannah, dear. You simply must tell me where you got it!”
“Mom! What are you doing with that?” Shamus groans.
“It was in the trash, and it’s so pretty and shiny, and amazing!”
I clear my throat. “My friend, Ali, back In Spartan is a Pleasures sales rep. I’m sure she could hook you up with your own.”
She smiles at me and winks as she hands it to me. I look right at Shamus before I stomp back to my bedroom to shove it under my mattress.
Shamus is glaring at me. I blow him a kiss and walk right out the door to head off on my own to parents’ house, with the Little Mermaid soundtrack blaring through the speakers.
“What’s going on, Shamus? That woman looked pissed just now. What did you do?”
“Nothing,” I say, smiling.
I grab the keys and stomp outside, cursing when I don’t see Savannahs car. That little brat!
“Explain, Shamus Ryan McAllister.”
“We had a conversation when I first got here. We acknowledged that there was a connection, but that with everything going on, we needed to take things slo
w. But then, things got all turned around. We had sex, then I blurted out the girlfriend thing. I haven’t gotten a chance to talk to her about anything. She tried to shut me out and break up with me, or some bullshit. I explained that it isn’t happening. I love her, Mom.”
“Fix it, Shamus. I really like her, and the fact that you’re sitting here, telling me you love her after everything you’ve been through, tells me all I need to know about her.”
We lapse into silence, and I’m thankful because I’m planning how I’m going to get Savannah to open up, get her to see me, and how to tell her that I love her.
I’m smiling the entire way to the Miller’s house. Game on, babe.
The moment I walk into the house and everyone gets a look at my face, you can hear a pin drop. Half my sisters back up a step because my temper is legendary.
“Not tonight. I don’t have the mental fortitude to put up with your hounding.”
My mom is wringing her hands on a dish towel, and Daisy looks apocalyptic. My dad speaks up. “Okay, girly. We’ll give you tonight, right, girls?” He looks around at everyone, stopping on Daisy. Out of all of us, she has the biggest mouth, and always shoves her nose into everyone’s business.
She throws her hands in the air and stomps off. I sit down next to my dad and rest my head on his shoulder. He kisses my forehead, and I sink into the couch.
My niece, Kestra, toddles her way over to me and I pull her up into my lap, inhaling her sweet baby scent.
The knock on the door has butterflies flapping around in my gut. Kes puts her sticky hands on my face and squeezes my cheeks together, making me laugh. She leans forward and gives me the sweetest slobbery baby kiss. Consider my heart melted.
Kids. They always seem to know when you need a little unconditional love.
The couch dips and I look to my right. I jerk back when I see Shamus staring at me intently. He leans forward and kisses my shocked mouth, and Kes practically leaps out of my lap. Launching herself at Shamus, she gives him the same sticky hands and kisses, making him laugh.
