So much that all I wanted to do was stay here with Jessie, on the floor of her apartment, laughing and teasing and horny and in love, all at once.
I couldn’t tear my eyes away from my incredibly sexy girlfriend as she put on a show for me, pretending to fellate another egg roll and then reaching for the lo mein. By the time she was done eating, I couldn’t wait any longer. I had to have her, had to make her mine. As Jessie went into the kitchen and began washing up, I followed her. Her ass swung from side to side as she stood by the sink, bouncing to a tune playing only in her head. I put my hands on her waist and held her from behind, grinding my hard dick into the soft cotton of her panties.
Jessie moaned softly. She arched her back and thrust her ass closer to me, rubbed it all over the front of my pants. I buried my face in her hair and pushed her curls to the side, biting and nipping at the back of her neck until she shivered and trembled in my arms. Without moving away, Jessie slowly turned to face me. Her tits rubbed against my shirt and she whimpered with obvious pleasure as I put my hands to her breasts and rubbed her nipples with my thumbs.
“You are so fucking sexy,” I growled.
Jessie gave me a soft, passionate kiss. She wrapped her arms around my neck and pressed her body against mine. Without breaking the kiss, we walked backward through the kitchen, down the hall, and into her bedroom. As I pushed her down onto the bed, Jessie gasped. I locked eyes with her as I pulled my shirt away from my torso and threw it to the ground. She reached for my belt and fly, undoing both quickly and yanking my pants down my hips. I pulled my boxers down and kicked them off, then climbed onto the bed, fully naked with my cock throbbing in front of me.
“I’m so wet for you, baby,” Jessie whispered in my ear. She took my hand and slid it inside of her cotton panties. Her tangle of pubic hair was soaked with pussy juice and she gasped as I spread her pussy lips and began rubbing her hard little clit. Jessie gasped and cried out, spreading her legs wantonly and rubbing herself against me. Her round cheeks turned pink with pleasure as she rolled her eyes back in her hand before putting her hands to her nipples and playing with them. The sight of her pleasuring herself drove me crazy and I groaned as hot lust spread through my veins like wildfire.
“I fucking need you,” I growled. I yanked Jessie’s thin panties down her round thighs and spread her legs, crawling in close. Steadying myself with one hand on the bed and my other on her hip, I plunged my cock deep inside of Jessie’s sweet, heavenly pussy.
Jessie threw her head back and moaned loudly. She scrunched her eyes closed and bit her plump lower lip. I thrust in deep, burying my cock to the hilt in her delicious pussy. As Jessie wrapped her thick thighs around my waist and ground her body against mine, I laced my fingers with hers and held her arms over her head. I undulated my body against hers, driving into her with slow, sweet strokes. The rhythm was urgent and intense and my heart was pounding as I fucked her harder. Sweat beaded on Jessie’s forehead and dripped down her face as she closed her eyes and surrendered to the delightful ecstasy flowing through her body. As the room filled with the smell of her pussy and our mingled sweat, I closed my eyes and pressed my face to hers for a passionate kiss. Feeling her soft tits crushed against my body made me feel powerful and strong and I groaned into her mouth as Jessie’s legs tightened around my waist. We were locked together in a passionate embrace, tightly holding onto each other, and I never wanted it to end. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with my dick buried in Jessie, pleasing and teasing her as she rode me hard.
“Oh my god, baby,” Jessie moaned. She kissed me wetly and buried her face in my neck, biting and sucking. The pressure of her teeth and her wet tongue sent shivers all through my body and I grunted loudly, slamming my hips against her body. I untangled my fingers from hers and slid my hand between our sweaty, frantic bodies to rub her clit in time with my powerful thrusts. As Jessie began to come, she arched her back and wriggled on my dick. She closed her eyes and held her breath until her face turned red, bucking and gasping as the orgasm overtook her.
“Fuck yeah, baby,” I growled. “Fucking come for me!”
Jessie screamed and bit her lower lip, grinding faster than ever on my cock. I rubbed her clit in fast, vigorous circles until I felt her pussy clench down on my dick and squeeze. It felt so good that I let out a loud groan and pushed her body into the mattress. My own orgasm broke over my head and I buried my face in Jessie’s neck and grunted loudly, squeezed my eyes shut and gasped as the force over it washed over me.
“Fuck,” I groaned. My heart was throbbing hard in my chest as I pulled out of Jessie and crashed down onto the mattress beside her. She pulled my sweaty arm over her waist and held me close, then scooted onto her side and pressed her big ass against my still-hard cock.
“That was so amazing,” Jessie murmured. She yawned and closed her eyes, nestling her head against my chest.
My heart was still thudding. Now that my lust had been sated, the news I’d received earlier that day came rushing back to me. I knew I had to break it to Jessie, somehow.
I swallowed hard. Jessie shifted in my arms and leaned in for a kiss. When I didn’t reciprocate, her eyes flew open and she gazed at me with concern.
“Babe? What’s wrong,” Jessie asked softly. Her big brown eyes were so innocent, so pure, that I could hardly look at her.
“Nothing,” I lied. I took a deep breath. “Just ... had kind of a shitty day, that’s all.”
“Poor baby,” Jessie cooed. She ran her fingers through my hair and stroked my neck. “I wouldn’t have teased you so much if I’d known,” she said.
I snorted. “I doubt that,” I told her. “You were born to tease me. You know that, right?”
“I was born to love you,” Jessie declared. She kissed me softly and nuzzled her face against mine. “That’s what I was born to do.”
I didn’t reply. I loved her so much – and I knew that she knew it, too.
But would she be able to forgive me?
I still hadn’t even decided on how I was going to tell her. Ideally, I should have broken the news as soon as I’d gotten to her place. But she’d been so distracting and teasing that all rational thoughts had gone out of my head, vanished straight into thin air.
Now, my stomach was hurting and my chest felt tight and anxious. Jessie nuzzled closer in my arms and soon, she was dozing off to sleep.
“Jess?” I tried. “I’ve got something to tell you.”
She didn’t answer me – only murmured and stirred. My heart sank when I heard the sound of her snoring softly.
That night, I didn’t sleep. In the morning, I woke up before Jessie and glanced down at her curvy body, barely concealed by the sheet and thin blanket on her bed.
I knew our love was strong enough to last through everything, but I hated leaving her so much. The idea of waking her up to tell her was too painful, and before I could think about how cowardly I was, I scribbled a quick note and left it taped to her fridge.
I promise, I wrote. I’ll be back soon.
11
Jessie – Present Day
The rest of that day at work, I was more useless than the ‘g’ in lasagna. All I could do was sit at my desk and stare at my monitor until the lines started to blur. I should have just left, but it didn’t even occur to me.
For the first time in my life, I felt truly speechless. I couldn’t remember the last time when I’d gotten such a deep shock.
It had probably been the day that Benjamin had left. After I’d woken up years ago and found that note, I’d thought he had just meant that he’d gone out to run an errand. But when he never came back, I realized something more serious was going on. I’d held out hope for a long time, and days turned into weeks which turned into months.
Then, I found out I was pregnant with Olive and it was like my entire world had come crashing down around me.
I didn’t stay speechless long. Soon, the anger and hurt came rushing back tenfold, even stronger than they had been when B
enjamin had first disappeared from my life. I couldn’t believe how powerless I felt – how Benjamin still had the power to make my entire life come skidding to a screeching, messy halt.
I knew I should just ignore him, push him out of my mind and tell myself that he was gone forever.
Except now that I knew he wasn’t gone forever, I could tell that pushing Benjamin and his lousy asshole cowardly self out of my head wasn’t going to be particularly easy.
I also couldn’t ignore the fact that my brain was filled with questions. How long had he been back? Wilmington wasn’t a huge city but being a single mom meant that I didn’t get out very often.
Had he been back for a while? Did his rich asshole parents hook him up with someone and he only looked me up when it didn’t work out? And if so, what had compelled him to track me down and approach me, like we were old friends? I was seething with anger as I tightly squeezed my eyelids shut and pictured him. What the fuck had he expected to happen, anyway? That I’d just pull him into a big hug and we’d go for a beer?
Fucking asshole, I thought as I took a deep breath. I was so angry that I was actually nauseous and I opened my eyes and counted to ten, vowing to myself that I wouldn’t do it, that I wouldn’t actually puke.
What the fuck did he want from me, anyway? And how on earth could he expect that I’d actually want to talk to him?
I stewed in my own anger for so long that by the time I left work, I had to rush to get Olive from pre-school. Seeing her sweet little face made me feel a little better.
But seeing her dark hair just reminded me of Benjamin, and I felt my anger come rushing back with intense force that nearly knocked me on my ass.
“Mommy, you’re sad,” Olive observed as I buckled her into her booster seat. “What happened?”
I exhaled sharply. “Mommy just had a bad day at work,” I lied. “But Mommy is going to be just fine.”
Olive began singing to herself and rocking back and forth in her seat. I watched her in the rearview mirror for a moment, then viciously shifted the car into gear and began driving home.
My daughter began chattering about her day and I tried to focus but for once, I couldn’t. As soon as we got home, I poured myself a big glass of wine and called Jared.
“Hey,” he said after picking up. “What’s up?”
I sighed. “I need some brotherly love,” I said flatly. “Can you come over for dinner? Olive’s begging to see you.”
Jared chuckled. “Sure,” he said. “You’re just lucky that those guys on Grindr are such flakes. I had three different jerks cancel on me!”
I didn’t laugh.
“You okay?” Jared asked. “What’s wrong?”
I sighed. “I’ll tell you when you get here,” I said.
“On my way,” Jared replied.
We hung up and I got Olive settled down with a snack – apple juice and graham crackers – before taking a quick shower and wrapping my curly tangles in a towel. I got dressed in a pair of loose sweatpants and my favorite old Seaside U hoodie just as I heard Jared’s flamboyant knock on the door.
Olive squealed and ran to the door, nearly tripping over her own little feet. “Who is it?” She sang out.
“It’s Uncle Jared,” Jared yelled. “Can you let me in?”
Olive squawked with excitement, then opened the door. Jared stood on the other side with a bag of something that smelled delicious and a bottle of white sangria.
“I thought you might need the big guns tonight,” Jared said, smirking as he stepped into the living room and set the bag down on the coffee table. “I brought nosh.”
Olive peered into the bag, then wrinkled her nose and made a face. “Smells funny,” she said, narrowing her eyes and frowning.
“You can have pizza rolls for dinner,” I told her. “If you’re a good girl and you go clean up your room.”
Olive’s eyes got wide with excitement. She clapped her pudgy little hands together, then chirped once more and ran out of the room.
Jared snickered. “The girl can be bought with pizza rolls,” he said. “You’re diabolical.” He reached for the bottle of wine and held it up. “You got a corkscrew around here?”
I sighed. “After the day I’ve had, I should just pour the damn thing right into my mouth,” I said.
Jared blinked at me, looking truly surprised. “Wow,” he said. “What the hell happened?”
I didn’t answer him. Instead, I went into the kitchen and came back with a bottle opener and two glasses. After opening the wine and pouring myself a huge glass, I flopped down on the couch and sighed. Jared pulled the paper bag closer and ripped it open, revealing a spread of snacks from the little gourmet bodega downtown. We ate soft, runny cheeses and fragrant olives as I sipped my wine.
“You ready to talk?” Jared asked. He raised an eyebrow at me. “I know you’ve always gotta eat before spilling.”
I took another huge swallow of wine and bit my lip. “I saw him today,” I said finally. “He ... he had the fucking nerve to show up at my work! In the parking lot!”
“What the fuck,” Jared said softly. “Are you fucking kidding me?”
I shook my head. “No,” I said. As I pictured Benjamin and how he’d walked up to me, venomous anger began to swell inside of my heart.
“I wish I had fucking punched his lights out,” I muttered under my breath. “Can you fucking believe that he did that?”
Jared opened his mouth to reply but then clamped his lips together at the sight of Olive, who was in the middle of running down the hallway towards us.
“Is your room clean already?” I asked skeptically.
Olive nodded. She launched herself at Jared and made herself at home on his lap. As she played with his hair, she turned to me.
“I want to visit with Uncle Jared,” she said solemnly. “You smell like stinky cheese, Mommy.”
Jared laughed and Olive leaned out of the way of his breath.
“You, too, Uncle Jared,” she said.
Normally, there was nothing that made me smile wider than seeing my little girl be so adorable. Right now, though, I just felt drained and exhausted. I was filled with twin urges – one to track Benjamin down and punch him in the face, the other to crawl under the covers of my bed and hide there forever.
I didn’t have the luxury of either, though. I was Olive’s mother, and I had to put her wellbeing above my own.
“Let’s get you some pizza rolls,” I said to Olive as I hauled myself off the couch. “We can all have an early dinner tonight.”
After Olive ate, making a giant mess of the pizza rolls and getting marinara sauce all over her face, Jared tucked her in and read her a story while I cleaned up the kitchen. By the time I was done, Jared tiptoed into the hall and gently shut Olive’s door behind him.
“Let’s see what we can do about this,” Jared said as he held up the mostly-full bottle of sangria. “You need a refill.”
“Like I need a hole in my head,” I muttered as Jared filled my glass, nearly to the brim.
“So,” Jared said as we settled down on the couch. “What the fuck did he want?”
I shook my head. A bitter taste seeped into my mouth and I realized that I’d been clenching my jaw so tightly that my tongue was bleeding. I took a huge swig of wine.
“I don’t know,” I said. “He said that he needed to talk to me, but I didn’t hear him out. I was ... well, I was so fucking shocked that I just didn’t know what to do other than turn around and run.”
Jared raised an eyebrow at me.
“And now, god, I just want to kill him!” I said loudly. “How dare he try to come back, after almost five fucking years of radio silence! He’s a monster!” I yelled.
Jared put his finger to his lips and I took a deep, angry breath.
“He’s an asshole and a coward and I just want to fucking hurt him,” I said angrily. Tears came to my eyes and I blinked them away before wiping my face on my sleeve. As I ranted and raved, I could only feel my anger
growing stronger. I didn’t like the way I was feeling – it was almost scary, like I was about to lose control of my body. I could feel myself growing hot and red on the cheeks and by the expression on my brother’s face, I wondered if I was scaring him.
“Calm down,” Jared said, but I ignored him.
“That motherfucker,” I hissed as I got to my feet and drained my white sangria in a single gulp. “I’m going to make him wish that he never came back!” I paced back and forth, then stomped over to the kitchen and poured the rest of the bottle into my glass.
“Did you tell him about Olive?” Jared asked.
I froze, my wine glass halfway to my mouth.
“Uh, no!” I shot back. “Why the hell would I do that? I don’t want him!”
Jared frowned.
“What?” I asked hotly. “What now?”
Jared shifted uneasily on the couch and in a huff, I flopped down beside him.
“Nothing,” Jared said. He didn’t meet my eyes, and I knew he was lying.
“Out with it,” I said, raising an eyebrow.
Jared shook his head. “No, really,” he said. “Don’t worry about it.”
I groaned loudly. “Did you forget that we’re twins?” I snapped at him. “I can read you like a book, Jar.”
“You should at least tell him about Olive,” Jared said slowly. “I mean, he is her father.”
“Why?” I snapped. “Why would I do that? He could just leave, again, and I don’t want to confuse her!”
“He deserves to know that he has a kid,” Jared said, in that same even voice as before. “I know you don’t want him around, but he could at least help out. Child support, you know, that kind of thing.”
“I don’t need Ben or his fucking money,” I retorted. “I’m doing just fine on my own.”
“But he’s got a right to know,” Jared said.
“If he gave a fuck about his rights to my daughter, he wouldn’t have left in the first place,” I snapped angrily. “And I’m not going to subject her to that! If he cared, he wouldn’t have left without a fucking word!”
Secret Baby: A Second Chance Navy SEAL Romance (Forbidden First Times Book 4) Page 8
