“Yeah. Noah. We can go down by the lake.”
“See deer poo-poo?”
Anna laughed out loud and Maria joined her.
Abi stood there. Not laughing. Maria knelt down and felt Abi’s forehead. It felt normal, at least the fever had passed. “Give your mama a hug.” Maria nudged her toward the bed and she bumped Noah aside. He moved to shove Abi back, but Maria swept him off his feet. Abi accepted the hug, laying her head on her mother.
“Okay. Kids out.” Maria set Noah back on his feet and shooed him out. “You’ve got to let your mama bring you a new sister or brother.”
As Abi followed Noah out, Holly came in. She stood still, waiting by the door. She was neutral faced. Good thing she really was a nurse. She’d probably taken plenty of abuse. Then Anna saw her.
“I want THAT WOMAN out. I don’t care if she is a nurse.”
“Anna,” Maria said, trying to keep her voice as soothing as she knew how. “We need-–”
“I want her out!” Anna’s voice shrilled.
Holly stepped back outside the room.
“Anna, shut up. You need her here. I need her here. I am not a doctor, nurse or much of anything. Holly was a nurse. I’ll be damned before I let your pride get in the way of bringing my little sibling into the world. Nothing matters but the baby. Got it?”
Anna’s mouth was a grim line. “Yes.”
Maria was surprised to see a sense of relief in her eyes. How often did Anna’s sense of pride get in the way of doing something she knew she should? Maybe she and Anna were not so different. For once that thought didn’t sting. Maria knelt and kissed Anna’s sweaty forehead.
“What was that for?”
“Too many things to mention. I’m sorry, Anna.”
Pain flashed in Anna’s eyes. Another contraction. A whimper escaped from her grimacing face. Then her eyeballs rolled up. Maria could only see white. Her face went slack and she slumped back, even as her body shook.
“Holly?!” Maria yelled. “I need you now.”
The door swung open. Holly came through the door, gloves on her hands.
Grandpa stood outside. “What can I do?”
“Make sure Dad’s okay,” Maria said.
“I want ice,” Anna begged.
“Get ice,” Maria said. “Please check on Dad, first. Then stay close.”
Grandpa gave her a salute.
Anna closed her eyes and leaned her head back.
Maria looked at Holly, hoping for some support. Holly shrugged. Oh, god, she’s powerless. I’m going to be here in a few months. How the hell I am I going to handle it?
A soft knock, and the door opened. Grandpa stood, not quite coming in. “Here’s the ice.”
“Thanks, Grandpa,” Maria said softly.
But he looked past her. “I love you, Anna.” His voice was tight as he shut the door.
Anna’s eyes snapped open and she stared at the door, bewildered. “Did he say…?”
“Yeah,” Maria assured, resting her hand on Anna’s shoulder, “he did.”
“He’s never said that.”
“Well,” Maria said, “when almost everyone you know is dead and you never told them how you felt…” She’d never gotten to say goodbye to her mother or to Grandma.
Holly nodded like she knew exactly what Maria meant.
Anna grabbed Maria’s wrist, twisting, pulling her arm hair.
“Another one,” Anna gasped.
“Breathe through it!” Maria barked. She wondered at who this person was that would bark at Anna and be obeyed.
Anna’s breath came out in short bursts, “Ha, ha, ha, ha.”
When the contraction had crested and fallen, Maria wiped Anna’s brow and offered her some of the ice.
Anna chewed the ice for a minute, letting her breath catch up with her. “This is nothing like the other kids. By this time I was done.”
“I believe you.” Maria kept her voice calm and soothing. “Like you told me, every birth is different. But you’ve got to do this, Anna.”
“I want to push.”
Maria looked to Holly for guidance. All she got was another indifferent shrug. “Okay. Let’s try it.”
Anna’s face had some color and determination. “I want you to catch the baby, Ria.”
“Okay. We’ll see.” Anna hadn’t tried calling her Ria in years. “Right now, try to relax. Let your body do its job.”
“I’m pushing. NOW.”
Another contraction rose and fell. Maria scribbled the count on her notebook.
“How far am I dilated?”
“How the hell should I know?” Holly growled.
“Can you see the baby’s head?”
“Shit!”
“What?” Maria and Anna asked in unison. Maria could tell it was bad. Holly’s eyes were wide and her face as a white as a dinner plate.
“Breach,” Holly whispered.
“Oh, shit!” Anna sighed.
“God dammit, I wish I had some drugs.” Holly whipped off her gloves and threw them at the wall. “And a real doctor as long as we’re wishing for the impossible.”
Maria’s hands rubbed Anna’s shoulders. “What do we do, Holly?”
“The danger is the umbilical. Well, that and damage to the mother.”
“I’m here.”
“I know, Anna. Sorry, I have a shitty bedside manner. I’m a fucking novelist.” She sat down in the chair next to Anna. “I’m going to turn the baby?”
“I want to push right now.”
“Not until I tell you to,” Holly ordered through gritted teeth.
Anna eyes rolled up again. She screamed, then grunted. She squeezed Maria’s arms.
Maria couldn’t feel the fingers on her left hand. “Breathe, Anna. You can do this.”
“Okay. Push,” Holly said. “Now.” Moments later Holly spoke again. “Okay, I can see both legs.”
“Anna, the baby’s a girl.”
“Oh, God,” Anna prayed. “Give me your grace tonight.”
“Amen,” Maria heard her own voice say. “Come on, grace.”
“Come on, Grace.” Anna’s groans turned into howls. “Damn, it hurts.”
In between contractions she sobbed quietly, accepting the ice Maria put in her mouth, but not communicating anything more.
Holly pulled Maria aside. “Okay, next time, when she pushes I need to work the baby around. The most dangerous point is if the cord is wrapped around the baby. I’m going to try to clear it. Keep Anna calm. It’s going to hurt.”
A gargled cry came from Anna and she spit out the ice and started hissing breaths. Maria went to her and wrapped her arms where Anna had something to pull on.
“Good job, Mama. You’re gonna have a baby,” Maria muttered whatever came into her head. Encouragement.
“All right,” Holly urged. “Keep it up. She’s mostly out.”
Maria heard Anna’s breathing slowing. “No. Don’t stop. We can’t stop pushing. Come on, Anna. You can do it. Bring baby Grace to us. Let her come out.”
“MARIA.” Holly’s voice demanded help. “I need you now.”
Anna wouldn’t let go of Maria’s arms. “NO, don’t leave me.”
“NOW.” Holly yelled. “Or your sister’s going to die.”
Maria shoved Anna’s arms away as her grip weakened.
Holly guided Maria’s hand down. “Put your hand here, now.”
“NOW, Anna,” Holly ordered. “Push. Push as much as you hate me. As soon as you’re done here, I’ll get the hell out of your space.”
But Anna slumped back.
“God damn it, Anna,” Maria’s swearing had no effect. “Are you gonna let this baby die?”
“No,” Anna whimpered.
“What?” Maria demanded. “Anna. Please. For Samuel. For Noah and Abi. For me. Dammit, Anna. Holy mother of God.” Maria didn’t know what else to do. Actually, she did. But she didn’t want to.
Anna stared at her, a dazed glaze on her face.
Mar
ia kept the pressure where Holly had said. “Do it for Jesse.” Her voice broke. “And Rachel.”
“How dare you?”
“Do it, now, Anna!” Maria screamed. “Don’t lose another baby!” Tears ran down her face. “I want my sister.”
Anna’s face was pulled back against her teeth. All the times that Anna had looked like she would kill her were nothing like this.
“God!” Anna growled.
“Now,” Maria said, “do it!”
“Good job, Anna,” Holly soothed.
“You’re doing it, Anna.” The baby came. Maria’s littlest sister was white and blue, no hint of any pink color. Her head was misshapen. Oh, God. Anna can’t take losing another baby. Oh, God. If it’s my fault.
Holly’s fingers scooped into the baby’s mouth. She turned the baby over and slapped her back, then she brought her ear down close.
Anna sobbed hysterically.
Maria stared.
“Come on, baby, breathe,” Holly whispered. She placed her fingers on the baby’s breastbone. “Help me, Maria. I’m going to start CPR.”
“Come on, Grace.” She reached for her sister. The baby’s stomach contracted and then she sneezed a slimy bubble. And her eyes came open, dark and searching. Her breath spread her chest, and a tiny whimper escaped.
“Baby Grace?” Anna begged.
“She’s here. She’s breathing.” Maria whispered. “Thank God.”
Holly had her stethoscope out, probing gently. “Need to keep her warm,” she said, her fingers feeling for a pulse.
Maria grabbed the baby blanket from the top of the heating register. She wrapped it around baby, who stared up into her face.
Holly straightened. “Okay. Solid heartbeat. Don’t know what else to do but give her to her mama.”
Maria pulled her sister from Holly’s hands and handed her to Anna.
“Oh, my Grace of God,” Anna said as her shaky hands gently explored her dampened hair.
“You’re so beautiful,” Maria said. Her sister turned her head.
“That’s your brave, big sister, little one,” Anna said with a tearful smile to Maria. “She named you.”
“No, you did. ‘Give me your Grace.’ I’m going to go tell Dad.” Maria slipped into her father’s room. Brad snored in the rocking chair. She knelt beside the bed and wrapped her arms around her father’s chest. His ragged breath drew in and out. His arm reached for her and she moved so he could hold her hand.
“You’re a father to a daughter again, Daddy.”
His face broke into a weak smile.
“Her name’s Grace, Anna says.”
“Good.” He said, his head collapsing back onto the pillow. “Love you, Ria.”
“I love you, too, Daddy. We’ll be back with your new baby real soon.”
When Anna felt she could move, they bundled up baby Grace and Maria carried her into her father’s room. Grandpa and Holly helped Anna get into his bed. She snuggled up next to him and Maria set the baby on Anna’s chest.
“She’s lovely, Anna.” Her father looked as exhausted as the rest of them and his voice was barely louder than Brads’.
“She is.” Anna smiled, still glowing with the joy of having her baby in her arms. “Thank you all. I’m sorry for being such a bothersome patient, Holly. Maria.”
Holly shrugged. “I’m used to rejection.” She smiled. “Grace is a lovely baby. Congratulations.” She turned and left the room with a smile for Maria and a gentle touch on her shoulder.
Grandpa knelt to kiss the baby and Anna. “You done good, Anna. I love you, Granddaughter. Never doubt that.”
Anna nodded, tears running down her face.
“We’ll leave you three to get acquainted.” He kissed Maria on the forehead on his way out.
Anna smiled at Maria. Maria had never seen a smile so real from Anna directed at her. “I couldn’t have done it without you. You didn’t deserve to have to nurse me through it.”
Maria smiled. “Well, give me a few months and you’ll probably get some of it back.”
“I’ll be here for you, Ria. Thanks.” Anna’s eyes drooped.
“Get some sleep.” Maria swept some hair from Anna’s forehead. “Grace is lovely. Congratulations. Holler if you need anything.” She kissed her father and gave him her best smile, then turned and left the room. Leaning against the wall outside, she finally allowed herself to feel the aches and pains of her own pregnant body. Tears ran down her face. She’d had no idea what hard work was until the world ended.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
SAMUEL COUGHED; HIS HEAD SPUN. His stomach contracted. It felt like he was tearing in two. A cough again racked his body, and this time fluid spewed forth from his throat—dark, blackened phlegm.
“Sam,” Anna begged. “Are you okay?”
The pain twisted him forward, wrenching her from his view.
“Oh, God,” Anna said
Samuel stared at the soiled sheets. “Anna, I—” Coughing shut off his words.
“Somebody get Holly,” she screamed. Tears streamed down her face. “NOW!”
For a moment the coughing paused. He stared at his hands. Along with the dark phlegm, there were bright red drops as well. His head swam and his head fell toward his pillow. It took far too long. Then Anna’s pretty face was over his.
She kissed his forehead. “try to relax. We’ll get Holly here.”
Samuel shook his head gently, surprised it didn’t hurt. Coughing blood was a bad sign. That much he knew. He rolled to his back.
The door flew open. “Dad?” Maria rushed in with Abigail on her hip clinging over her slight belly.
Samuel tried to sit himself up, but Anna held him back. “Don’t move, Sam.”
“Holly’s on her way,” Maria said. Her face told him she knew what the blood meant. Noah peeked out from behind her leg.
Samuel’s heart twisted. I won’t get to see Maria’s baby. He held out his hands to his kids. Abi cocked her head to the side. Noah rushed to him and tried to clamber up. Maria boosted him into his arms with her knee as she and Abi joined the hug.
The physical pain had receded. He didn’t think that was a good sign.
“Okay, kids,” Anna said softly. “Give your father some room to breathe.”
Sam saw Maria, her face tightened, trying to keep it together. For his sake? Or her own?
Another face appeared at the door. Brad.
“Sam. Old friend.” Brad’s voice scratched, “Stay.” He’d hardly said two words out loud since he’d arrived.
Darkness teased at the edge of Samuel’s vision. “My family.”
“Will be fine.”
Holly bustled in, pulling a stethoscope up to her ears. “Maria, can you get the kids out?”
Maria lifted Noah off him and set him on the ground. She guided them out, glancing back at him one more time as she went out the door.
Holly shoved aside his shirt and placed the cold metal to his chest. She listened carefully. “Breathe. Just breathe.”
Holly shook her head, her jaw tight. “I don’t know what I can do. Your lungs sound clogged. The coughing… I think the cough must have caused things to move. A broken bone might have caused injuries to internal organs.”
“What can you do?” Anna begged.
Holly sighed. “I can make you comfortable, Samuel.” She turned to Anna. “I don’t know what else.”
Samuel could see the exhaustion in both their eyes. He shook his head. “I don’t hurt. Not right now.”
“Okay, try to rest.” Holly filled a medicine cup with a dark red liquid. “Drink some of this. It might stop the cough.”
Samuel swallowed, gagging on the thick syrup. “Thanks,” he gasped.
Beside him Grace began to fuss. He turned his head to look at his little bundle through the tears the cough had brought up. New tears flowed as Anna nursed Grace, soothing her cries.
“I’ll check back in a couple hours,” Holly said.
“Thank you, Holly,” Ann
a said.
Samuel smiled and nodded his agreement.
“You’re welcome.” The line of Holly’s mouth softened into a smile. She exited.
“I love you, Samuel.” Anna’s hand caressed the curve of his face, the stubble of his beard.
“I love you,” he said. It came out as a soft whisper. He rested his head on her shoulder, watching Grace nurse.
~
Maria woke in the middle of the night, James’ arms wrapped warmly around her. She glanced at the clock. Three a.m. What time had she come to bed? When was Grace born? She realized she didn’t know. Gently she moved James’ arm aside. “Gonna check on Anna and Grace.”
James mumbled something that sounded like an affirmative.
Maria knocked gently on the door. She waited for an answer. No sounds. She turned the knob carefully and pushed inward. The rocking chair was empty. Anna, Grace and her father were like she had left them. Maria moved closer. Anna’s eyes were open. Staring at her. She’d been crying. Now she looked empty. Anna’s hand caressed Maria’s father’s face. His eyes were closed. He was gone. There was no rise and fall to his chest.
Maria stood staring as tears fell. After a bit Anna motioned for her to come over. Maria sniffed back some tears and wiped her face with her pajama nightgown sleeve.
“He met Grace.” Anna held her hands out to Maria.
Maria went to her, accepting her arms as she reached across to kiss her father’s cold forehead and felt her baby sister’s warmth against him.
“He loved you very much, Maria.” Anna held her.
Maria felt her step-mom crying quietly as she sobbed.
~
Grandpa closed the family bible. He nodded at Maria and Anna.
Maria looked to Anna through her tears. Anna wiped her own and nodded. Together they shoved their spades into the fresh pile of dark dirt and tossed the soil onto the handmade coffin James, Brad and Grandpa had lovingly fashioned.
Grandpa held the bible across his chest, his arms hugging it close. There were tears on his cheeks as well. “By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food until you return to the ground, since from it you were taken; for dust you are and to dust you will return.”
“Amen,” Brad said from behind her. His gruff voice rasped softly, “Go with God, my friend.”
Deserted Lands (Novel): Toils and Snares Page 14
