by J. H. Croix
As if conjured by my thoughts, Daisy strolled up to the table, stopping at the edge and scanning those of us already seated. “Well, hello then. I suppose I’m late.”
Tristan glanced up at her. “You’re still not later than Ethan.”
Daisy beamed and sat down with flourish beside him. “That’s why I like you, Tristan. You’re so exacting.”
Tristan arched a brow but said nothing more. Within moments, conversation carried on around me. A waiter arrived to take our orders and somewhere in the middle of that, Ethan arrived. Alex and I were seated just where the table was tucked into the corner. It felt almost as if we were in our own bubble with comments bandying back and forth and around us, yet everyone seemed content to let us lay low. We were each respectively the quietest of our clusters of friends. Here and there, I noticed Daisy’s gaze flicking to us curiously, but she held back from teasing, which was a miracle, all things considered.
The food was genuinely delicious. Seattle’s trendiness was sometimes a problem, or so I thought. New places would spring up and be declared amazing, yet didn’t always fit the bill. The food here met my standard for amazing. I drank more wine than I probably should have. With Alex’s close presence revving my nerves and adrenaline to high idle, I sought relief in the subtle buzz. I hadn’t realized when, but his hand had landed on my thigh under the table. In the midst of Ethan telling a rambling story about a game they won a few weeks ago, I lost focus on everyone around us, my attention zeroed in on Alex and Alex alone. The heat of his touch branded me. His thumb stroked in idle passes just on the inside of my thigh. I was slick with need from nothing other than his subtle touch.
My breath was shallow, and damn me to hell, but I wanted him so badly I was frantic inside. My pulse was running off wildly, and I scrambled to get my body under control. I made the mistake of glancing to him. His hooded gaze met mine, his eyes like dark chocolate. His look was so fierce, I felt a hot throb at the apex of my thighs. I suddenly didn’t give a damn what anyone might wonder about us and stood abruptly.
“I need to get home,” I blurted out.
Ethan stopped mid-sentence, his teasing gaze perusing over me. “Am I boring you?” he asked in his slightly haughty British accent.
I shook my head sharply. “Not at all. I just have to go. Stanley probably needs a walk,” I lied, trying to come up with some reason. All I knew was I couldn’t keep sitting here, or I’d tackle Alex.
I started to push past Alex, but he stood quickly. “I’ll walk you home then.”
My body sent up a hallelujah.
As I hurried around the table, I caught Daisy’s knowing glance and Olivia’s curious one, but I ignored them. My body was of two minds—either I’d have Alex, all of him, tonight, or I’d at least tear myself out of this hours long teasing foreplay. I’d never have considered sitting beside someone for dinner foreplay, but with Alex it was.
I walked quickly through the restaurant and pushed through the doors outside. Cool rain hit my heated cheeks, reminding me I’d forgotten to get my jacket. I started to turn back, only to find Alex right behind me. Without a word, he held my jacket for me to slip on. Once it was settled over my shoulders, his palms slid down my arms. I shivered, more from the feel of his touch than anything.
Chapter 9
Alex
I walked beside Harper, fighting an all out war inside my head. My cock had been rock hard and ready for a good hour. Bloody hell. Just sitting beside her had been a torment and a tease all evening. If my body had its way, there would be no more waiting. So there was that, and then my damn it all to hell conscience. I knew it would infuriate Harper, but I couldn’t help but wonder what was driving her like this. I also couldn’t keep the fact of her rape out of my mind. I didn’t know for certain, but I definitely got the sense from Olivia that Harper hadn’t dated anyone since it happened, so it wasn’t likely she’d had sex either. She didn’t strike me as the type to seek out casual encounters, which mucked my brain up even more because I didn’t know what she was after with me. Oh, I knew we had chemistry, hell we had enough chemistry to burn down a house. Yet, I didn’t know what lay beyond that. I knew for me, Harper wasn’t just a way to get my needs met. She was a hell of a lot more than that.
I almost stumbled when she came to an abrupt stop outside my apartment steps. Since my apartment was a few blocks closer to the restaurant than hers, I’d expected to keep walking. She turned and looked up at me. She hadn’t bothered with the hood of her jacket, so her hair was damp. The dark locks gleamed under the streetlights. “How’s Callie?” she asked.
For a beat, I was puzzled before my brain kicked into gear. I’d forgotten she’d encountered me checking on the little stray calico who’d been camping under the stairs. That had been the last time she’d gone and blown my mind by kissing me. My mind skipped tracks to the feel of her flexing against me as she came all over my fingers. I gave myself a mental kick. Not now, mate.
“Callie’s still hanging around. Let’s see,” I stepped to the base of the stairs and looked underneath. Callie’s eyes caught the light as she turned my way. She was snuggled into the blanket I’d left there for her. I started to straighten and almost collided with Harper who’d leaned down to look.
“Oh, she’s all cozy,” Harper said softly.
Harper glanced me to, her face inches away, and it was all I could do not to kiss her. My heart beat a hard rhythm as I looked at her. She reached a hand toward Callie, carefully keeping it far enough away so as not to be threatening. Callie leaned her nose forward and sniffed before shifting back again and eyeing us cautiously. “I wish she’d come in. It’s wet and cold out,” Harper said softly.
“Aye. You and me both. My landlord’s been feeding her too. Between us, I figure she’ll eventually decide it’s safe to come inside.”
I straightened and took a breath. I needed a minute to get some kind of control over my body. In the battle between my mind and body, my body definitely held the upper hand. Harper stood and looked up at me. Drops of rain rolled down her cheeks and before I realized what I was doing, I was wiping a drop away from under her eye. I froze, my eyes locked to hers. Lust hit me like a bolt. Barely holding the gates closed against the rampaging need Harper elicited, it took every ounce of discipline I had not to lift her in my arms and find the closest place to bury myself inside of her.
She held still, her eyes searching mine. Suddenly, she grabbed my hand and spun around, tugging me up the stairs behind her. She tried to open the door to my building, but it was locked, logically so. She spun back, her eyes flashing. “Let me in.”
I doubted she meant it that way, but her words held a double meaning. What she didn’t know was she was already burrowed so deep inside of me, I was knocked back on my heels. This wasn’t a place I was accustomed to. Rather, my years of working to be everything my father wasn’t had whetted my discipline and control. Being a goalkeeper day in and day out under the high pressure of the international football world honed qualities of calm, cool, collected and razor sharp attention. Harper rattled me in more ways than one. Right now, all I wanted was her, but I knew she wanted nothing but all of it, and I didn’t know if I had the ability to hold back.
She grabbed my shirt, fisting it in her hand, and yanked me to her. Her head banged against the door behind her, and I reflexively reached to catch her. Between her tugging me toward her and me reaching for her, her lips were suddenly within a whisper of mine. My body went taut, every fiber flexing toward her, unable to resist the surge of lust.
I dragged a breath in and thought for a second I’d latched onto a thread of control. She tightened her grip on my shirt and locked her eyes with mine. It felt as if a match lit the air between us. With cool drizzle falling all around us, the air felt electric. I couldn’t think over the drumming of my heart and the blood shooting straight to my groin. I yanked my keys out of my pocket and reached around her to open the door. She stumbled back when it gave way. I did what I
’d wanted to do for weeks and lifted her into my arms. I meant to bundle her against me, but she was having none of that. Her legs curled around my hips. In the jumble, her lips crashed to mine and my control, frayed beyond all reason, snapped. I held her tight against me and kicked the door shut behind me.
With every step I took, Harper’s tongue warred with mine. She kissed with wild abandon. Considering I was nearly on fire inside, it was a tangle of lips, teeth and tongue. I shouldered through the door into my flat, tearing my lips free from hers to groan when she rocked her hips against me. By some small miracle, I didn’t stumble and fall getting to the bedroom and managed to turn and sit down. She was still tangled around me and shoved my jacket off my shoulders. Her hips sank down on me, and bloody hell, it felt so fucking good to feel the heat of her against me. I shook my arms free from my jacket and tossed it aside before gripping her hips and holding her down, arching into her. My cock was so hard it ached, and all I could think about was the sweet slick heat I knew awaited me.
She cried out, her eyes whipping open. Dark blue gaze flashing, her lips parted on a low moan when I flexed into the cradle of her hips. She stared at me and for a flash I saw the wheels start turning in her brain. I did the opposite of what I’d have expected had I been in a rational state of mind. In that scenario, I’d have thought perhaps we shouldn’t rush through this. Not with the weight of her past in the room with us. Yet now, with the air nearly vibrating with the force of desire between us, all I knew was if there was only one thing I could give her, it would be to tumble headlong into this wild pulse of longing, lust and then some between us.
I eased my grip on her hips and pushed her jacket off her shoulders, sliding my palm up her spine to thread my hand in her hair. “Don’t start thinking on me, Harper. That’s not what this is about,” I whispered fiercely just before slamming my mouth to hers again and pouring everything I felt into our kiss.
I lost all sense of time. A tangled jumble of clothes being torn off in the midst of hot kisses, Harper’s hands roving everywhere and pushing me to the edge of sanity. I clung to the thinnest thread, determined to make sure she found the pinnacle of pleasure before this was over. Trust me, it wasn’t easy. I liked sex just about any way—soft and slow, fast and hard, rough and wild. Harper hit me so hard, I wanted to pound into her, desperate for release. Yet, I didn’t want to push her too far. Bloody hell, she didn’t make it easy. She was all over me, her hands everywhere while she kissed, licked and nipped at me.
Somehow, I untangled myself and stood. Our clothes were strewn in a messy montage on the bed and floor. Harper rested on her elbows and looked up at me. Damn, she was gorgeous. She had an athletic build, softened only by her lush curves. Her breasts were damp from where I’d mapped my way over them with my mouth, her nipples taut and deep pink.
Her breath came in short pants, and her eyes locked to me. “What…?”
I ignored her and leaned over to hook my hands under her knees, tugging her roughly to the end of the bed. Without waiting to see how she might react, I pushed her knees apart. She was so wet, her folds slick with her need. I dragged a finger through them, but didn’t wait anymore and brought my mouth against her. She tensed for a flash, and I wondered if I’d taken this the wrong direction. Then, she moaned and her knees relaxed when her hands threaded into my hair. I settled in to taste her and drive her mad. My only goal: nothing but pure pleasure for her.
I slid a finger into her channel as I explored her with my tongue. Another finger joined the first, and I savored the feel of her clenching around me and her hips bucking against my mouth. Far faster than I expected, I could feel her quickening and she cried out, her hands tightening their grip on my hair as she pulsed around my fingers. I slowly eased away. As I stood and leaned across the bed to snatch a condom out of the nightstand, I experienced a flash of concern. Harper was no virgin and certainly didn’t act like a woman who needed to be handled with care. But hell. She’d been raped and as far as I knew, this might be the first time she’d had sex since then.
I looked down at her and promptly forgot that train of thought. She was leaning up on her elbows, watching and waiting. Her skin glistened in the dim light filtering from the living room, her hair was a rumpled mess and her eyes were dark. I rolled the condom on and stretched out over her. Holy hell. It felt so good to feel her against me. Her skin was damp, her sweat mingling with mine. She was a mix of soft and firm, her muscles flexing as she curled her legs around my hips. I told myself I should go slow, but what I said in my head and how my body responded to her were two entirely different things. When I felt her slick heat against my cock, I was gone.
I brushed her tangled hair away from her face. I needed to look at her. “Harper.”
Her eyes flew open, and I traced her brows with a fingertip. My heart was pounding so hard, it reverberated through my body. Her breath came in soft gusts. She tightened her legs and arched into me. “Alex, don’t make me wait.”
Her rough whisper was like an arrow. Straight to the heart—its hit almost painful. My body answered her, arching and sinking into her wet, velvet clench. Her eyes fell closed and her breath came out in a low moan, while I forced myself to hold still. She was tight. Whether she was aware or not, she tensed. After a few beats, I could feel her easing around me.
Chapter 10
Harper
Finally.
I sighed and bit back another moan. Alex felt so good—all of him, inside me and against me. I was tight, tighter than I’d have imagined, and he was, well, no one would ever claim he wasn’t well-endowed. I hadn’t meant to tense, but I did. Out of reflex, or something else. After a minute, it passed, and I relaxed. He was all muscle and sensual power surrounding me. I could feel him nearly vibrating against me and sensed him holding back. I slid a palm down his back, savoring every muscled inch of it and arched into him. If he meant to be gentle, I wasn’t having it.
“Alex,” I whispered fiercely.
His head had fallen into the dip of my neck, and he lifted it. His dark brown gaze met mine. I could see the immense control he was exerting, and I wanted him to stop. “Don’t.”
“Don’t what?”
“Hold back.”
“Harper…”
I spurred my heels and flexed against him, unable to hide the rush of satisfaction when he reflexively arched into me.
He moved swiftly, gripping my hands in his and stretching them above my head. I wanted hard, fast and rough—something I could lose myself in. He didn’t give me that. He settled into a rhythm—maddeningly slow, yet every stroke just deep enough he drove me higher and higher inside.
I lost myself, but not in the way I’d imagined. I tumbled into a slow, hot dance of longing and need, the pressure building inside so intensely, I thought I might explode. Every stroke of him filling me, the slow pull and drag in my channel spun me tighter and tighter. All the while, his eyes were on me, his hands gripping mine, and I felt vulnerable, raw and exposed. Because I trusted him completely, so completely it almost frightened me. He eased his grip and dragged his hand down between us. A flick of his thumb against my clit and pleasure spun loose, whipping through me in a rush.
One more deep stroke and he went rigid against me before a guttural cry broke loose. His head fell into my shoulder again, and he immediately eased his weight to one side.
We lay still, our breath coming in heaves. After a few moments, my pulse slowed enough I could think. Reality started to sink in. I was warring inside—torn between wanting to dance with joy because I’d finally had sex and a reflexive need to withdraw from the depth of intimacy I felt with Alex. My brain turned on, rarely a good sign, and I opened my eyes to find Alex’s warm brown gaze waiting.
I suddenly worried he’d want to talk, but he didn’t say a word. He simply brushed my tangled hair off my forehead. Okay. That felt good. I could do this.
Hours later, I woke in the darkness. For a moment, I was disoriented and muddled panic ro
se inside. I started to roll over when my consciousness flickered enough to remind me the warm body beside me was Alex. He was spooned behind me, his breathing even and steady. Even in sleep, his body felt strong. His muscled arm was hooked over my hip, his palm resting on my belly. I lay still and took a slow breath, feeling silly at my initial panic.
I’d had nightmares off and on for years after Joe raped me. At first, they’d visited me almost nightly. My doctor had gently suggested I try something to help me sleep after seeing me ragged and weary after too many nights of bad sleep. When I’d refused, she’d handed me a card for a therapist. After weeks of fighting against myself, I’d gone to see the therapist mostly out of desperation because trying to live without sleep was nearly impossible when it went on too long. It was like being kicked into a ditch every night, each day afterwards a slow crawl out. With some help, I’d managed to get a handle on my sleep and on my panic attacks. Those old nightmares rarely visited me anymore, and I hadn’t had an actual panic attack in almost two years. I supposed waking in the night with a man beside me for the first time in over four years might be disconcerting.
I hadn’t thought past what my body had been craving for the last few weeks. Finally breaking through a barrier I’d worried might exist for the rest of my life and actually having sex was such an immense relief. I’d known the chemistry with Alex was bordering on singe-worthy. Yet, I couldn’t have known he’d proceed to drive me mad with pleasure. I couldn’t have known the intimacy that would bind me to him and the intense vulnerability I’d feel. My mind spun to Daisy’s observation that I wasn’t a fling type, but a nester. A flash of panic rose within, an entirely different kind of panic. What the hell had I done?
I started to carefully move away from Alex, but my subtle motion nudged him out of sleep. His hand slid across my belly and sloped over the curve of my hip in a lazy caress. The calloused skin of his palm sent a shiver through me.
