by Anna Hub
I shifted one leg over his. My heart jumped as he gripped my waist before his hand reached for my other leg. I resisted and slowly ran my thumb against his lips. He breathed heavily as I kissed his neck, all the way down to his shoulder.
His hands moved to my back, holding me desperately before his touch lightened. How did he make all of my skin goose bump with that single contact?
"Are you cold?" he teased.
"No." I breathed into him, my lips closing over his as he reached for my second leg again.
This time, I surrendered, shuffling closer as he pulled the string from the animal skin around my chest.
"I miss seeing you naked," he whispered.
"You weren't meant to be looking."
He kissed my neck as his hands ran over me. "Yeah, right."
He scooped me into his arms as he rolled to the side, pressing me against the cold earth. The heat of his body against mine took over and I kissed him urgently. I closed my eyes as his hand gripped mine and his lips wandered over my body.
It was still raining when I woke in the morning. Brayden held me against him and his fingers ran the length of my arm as soon as I shifted.
"You're still here," I noted, rolling back to face him.
His hand settled on my stomach. "Did you think this was a one night stand?"
I nudged him. "Well, I wouldn't have seen it coming, that's for sure."
He laughed and picked forest debris from my hair.
"You're always out in the mornings. That's what I meant."
He nodded knowingly. "The rain is limiting. I thought I might as well take the morning off."
I stretched. "It's weird to wake up without a shadow."
"It is odd."
"I wonder if the rain is a part of the climate fluctuations."
He sat up. "It could be. But we'll have to get used to it. Even in this world there must be seasons. We're still going to have to find food."
"I guess we also need to think about how the rain might affect food sources as well. It will be fine for fish and some fruit but other animals could go into hibernation in winter months."
"I haven't even seen any other animals in this forest."
He diverting his gaze but I still caught his worried expression. Even away from the constant threat of violence in the Valley, this world wasn't easy. I stared out at the river. In my old life I'd spent little time by the water but now water had a whole new meaning. How had we become so disconnected from the necessities of life in the Origin? What I wouldn't give for the freedom and security it brought. But at the time, I'd never appreciated it. There was always something happening to make you wonder how bad life could get. Now I had a real understanding and couldn't help resenting the people who lived their life in peace with no concept of true suffering.
I thought again of the woman who'd run from us yesterday. Not so long ago I was in her exact position and that only made me more desperate to reach her. And not just her, what about all the others?
“'I've been in this world for about four months, counting from the first time I passed. In that time I've come across three new shadows; you, the woman in the Valley and the woman we saw yesterday. If we include me, that's four people in four months. And that’s only in the places I've seen.” Who knew how far the Shadowlands stretched? “How many new people come here each month?”
Brayden pulled out his blade and sharpened it over a rock with grains of sand. “I'm not sure."
I swallowed. “And how many of them die each month?”
He paused. "It's unfair but I don't know how we can do anything to change it."
"There has to be something."
"We haven't even figured out how to survive ourselves yet."
He was right, I didn't have anything to offer them if they did survive their transfer, but support and advice had to be a starting point.
--*--
Two days passed and the rain didn't let up. I went to the tree where the woman had fallen, with every spare moment I had. I scratched a message into the trunk and drew in the sand even though the wind and water washed it away before the day was done. If she passed here again, I wanted to be waiting for her.
"We're out of food," Brayden's voice made me jump.
I turned. I'd known this was going to happen. "How about the fish?"
He shook his head. "I don't know if it's the change in temperature or the lack of insects around, but they're not swimming close to the surface. The river isn't that deep, but maybe they're hiding between rocks, or they've gone downstream."
Something in his expression made my heart tighten. Since we'd left the Valley he'd always had this air of calm. Now, despite his attempt to conceal it, concern lingered beneath the surface.
"What about the plant roots?"
He wiped wet hair from his face and sat down beneath the tree. "It's not enough to keep us going indefinitely."
"What are we going to do?" I sat beside him.
"I guess we only have two options. We either leave this forest, take our chances across the barren land and hope to find somewhere more stable to make our home ..."
"And the second option?"
"Go back and request help from your friends," his tone dropped, as though the bitterness of that admission was more than he could bear.
It must have been bad if he was really considering that. As much as I wanted to return to our old shelter and accept help from Tara and Matt, there was still the fear of how they would interact with Brayden. Given what had happened the last time they crossed paths, I wasn't sure if the offer for aid would still stand.
"What are your thoughts about heading across the barren lands?" I asked.
He scratched at his chin. "It's a gamble."
"Are you saying that you think we should go back?"
"I'm reluctant, but I have a bad feeling about the barren lands."
"An 'Instinct' kind of bad feeling?"
"I don't know. Maybe. Usually it's a definite thought though, whereas this is more like proceed with caution."
Even proceeding with caution didn't sound like such a good idea. I closed my eyes. How had it come to this? Either way we couldn't win.
"Do you think we could go back and see if we could catch fish back at our old shelter? Maybe we could get our food from there and we wouldn't need to tell Tara and Matt we'd returned."
"But we can't have a fire that close to the village. And we need to think about how much energy we're spending. There's no point walking three hours there and three hours back for a bit of fish. It's not enough to survive on."
Panic rose in my throat and it took all my concentration to keep it under control. "Let's consider this from a purely practical point of view then. Assuming Tara and Matt are still willing to help us, how are we going to let them know we're back without stepping foot in the village? And will their minimal food deliveries every three days or so, be enough to keep us going?"
"They guard the entrance to the village, right? Perhaps we could reach them while they're on duty."
"They guard in shifts of three days, how are we to know when they'll even be working?"
"We can count the days since we last saw them. If they deliver food every three days and they guard every three days, is it safe to assume they were bringing food to us on the first day of their shift?"
"I don't know about a safe assumption. But there is logic behind that thought at least."
"The amount of food they bring isn't ideal. We could definitely do with more. But considering how little we've found out here, I think it would still be more than that. Then there is the agreement to consider. The offer for food wasn't free."
"They wanted you to teach them about hunters. But I don't see how well that could work given the exchange that happened when we last saw Tara."
"But controlling the Instinct will get better with time. Perhaps increased exposure will actually make it easier."
Even though he made out that we had other options, his attempt to sound optimistic
about returning to our old shelter, made me feel as though the decision was already made. I just wasn't sure how to feel about the exchange of food for services anymore. Although I'd felt trapped by the idea of leaving the village behind and finding food on our own, I also now felt trapped by the idea of relying upon them.
"So we don't really have a choice?"
Brayden exhaled heavily. "I think we should exhaust all options from the village before we risk going out on our own."
I could hardly believe he was really saying that but I trusted his decision making far more than I trusted my own. This particular choice only emphasised the fact that he was led by logic rather than emotion. Something that I wasn't quite capable of.
Chapter Four
Our old shelter was almost completely destroyed. It had only been temporary, not strong enough to withstand wind and rain, but even in the three hours it took for us to travel back, the weather had already shown a dramatic improvement. Clouds still hung above, but the rain didn't fall as heavily and the temperature rose as we moved.
"Hear that?" Brayden paused.
"What?"
"Crickets."
I smiled. How on earth could three hours make such a difference? Tara was right. We'd been waiting in a hostile part of the forest, where all life seemed scarce. It must have been for a reason. Even within a few hours of leaving, I already felt more positive.
He pulled me closer and kissed me. "I'm going to check the river for fish."
I gathered branches and set to work on our shelter, quickly building it back up to better wind protection. We had a few hours before sunset and I took the time to work around our perimeter, leaving notes for the woman from the Origin in case she happened to pass nearby.
“What are you doing?” Tara’s voice came from behind.
I struggled to stifle a scream. "You scared me!"
She grinned. "Sorry. I wasn't expecting to see you so soon either. But seriously," she motioned to the ground, "what are you doing?"
I brushed hair from my face. "I saw a woman land from the Origin the other day but I wasn't able to talk to her. She was too afraid, she just ran away.”
"Here?"
"No. A few hours west. I thought there was still a chance she might pass around here again."
She shrugged. "Worth a shot, I guess."
"What happens to them all? All the people who pass into this world and don't find the village.”
“Most of them don’t make it.”
How could she say that so calmly? “Isn’t there someone who can help?”
Tara laughed. "Yeah, right. People don’t leave the village. As far as they're concerned, once they're inside, they're safe, and that's it.”
My heart broke for the people out there who were lost. "It’s not right to sit back and do nothing.”
She studied me thoughtfully. “I appreciate the idea, and I agree, doing nothing isn't the answer but the reality is that you shouldn't have survived the Valley of the Hunters. I'm guessing your return so soon means you've realised how hostile this world is outside of our community. New shadows don’t just arrive in convenient places, they’re scattered all around the Origin and knowing where they might land in the Shadowlands is an impossible task.
“We have a population of eighty two, most of those people wouldn’t know the first thing about survival and we need to use what resources we have on protecting our home.”
“But if you spent more time helping new shadows, your population would be bigger.”
Tara raised her eyebrows. “Nobody wants that job.”
“If everyone turns away nothing changes.”
She smiled to herself. "And that's why I'm here."
I frowned. "What do you mean?"
"I can't save the woman you're talking about but I can save you. The villagers might have turned away, but I haven't, and I won't, because if we all stay the same, nothing changes. Just like you said."
"Have you been waiting here for us?"
"Not right here, but at the cave. I had a feeling you might be back."
"But what about Brayden? He attacked you." I struggled with those words.
Tara pulled at her braid. "I've seen hunters attack before. I wouldn't really call that an attack."
"Really?" I wanted to hug her.
"He could have killed me." She looked around as though he might appear suddenly. "But he didn't. I figured it was self defence."
"But usually his Instinct only reacts where there is a threat. I know you reached for your bow but even when you backed away, the Instinct didn't fade."
"Going off what you've told me, I think I might know why that happened."
"Why?"
"Matt was already on his way out here when he heard me scream. I think he might have been the threat Brayden detected."
Maybe she was right.
"Where is Brayden now?" she asked.
"Checking for fish in the river."
"I have plenty of food by the cave if you're hungry."
My stomach groaned at the thought. "I'm starving."
She smiled. "I thought you might be."
I checked over my shoulder. "I'd better warn Brayden that you're here."
"How about I head back to the cave, and you can meet me there when you're ready?"
Brayden stood knee deep in the river, and tensed as soon as I told him Tara was here. The good news was that we didn't need to go anywhere near the village and food was available immediately. But he was clearly disturbed by the idea of having to face the Instinct so soon.
"She's waiting at the cave. I can go alone. I just wanted to let you know—"
"What about what happened the other day? When I attacked her?" He waded to the riverbank.
I explained how Tara felt confident it hadn't been an attack but simply self defence. "She's been waiting at the cave. She had a feeling we'd return."
"I don't like how eager she is to help us."
I shrugged. We'd already decided this was our best option going forward, so it wasn't a matter of whether we would negotiate with her or not, it was a matter of the cost. "Let's at least hear her out."
Although I'd been happy to go on my own, Brayden decided he wanted to attempt another meeting with Tara. On the way, we talked about how the first meeting had run smoothly, so provided there were no unforeseen dangers, hopefully his Instinct wouldn't react as strongly as it did last time.
Brayden's posture changed as we neared the cave. I paused; already terrified by the strength of grey in his eyes.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" I asked.
His ghostly eyes stared back but he didn't say anything before he continued walking. I rushed to get ahead of him, stepping into the clearing when he was still a few metres behind.
Tara lifted her head. "Hi."
"Brayden is here too," I blurted out.
She stood up, leaving her bow on the ground before she stepped away from it. Her face paled as Brayden joined us and I positioned myself between the two of them.
"He's trying to learn how to control the Instinct. We figure he can't get better at it unless he practices."
Tara nodded. "Right."
Seconds ticked past slowly and no one spoke. I wasn't sure what to do. There was no sense pretending this was a normal situation and I was too preoccupied measuring Brayden's behaviour for any warning of an attack to even attempt a conversation with Tara.
"Can he hear me?" she asked.
"I'm not too sure."
She moved slowly, stepping back and reaching for some dried meat before she offered it to him. He stared at her hand for a long time before he took the food. Tara smiled to herself as she grabbed a second batch to give to me.
I forced myself to eat respectably when all I wanted was to shove it in my mouth.
"You haven't experienced true hunger until you've lived in the Shadowlands," she said. "I have fruit too and Matt will bring more food tomorrow."
"Where is he now?"
"He's guardin
g the villagers with the other sentries."
"So the villagers know where you are?"
Tara sat down, appearing calm despite Brayden's grey eyes following her movement. "Not really. There are some friends, the sentries we're stationed with who know the truth about what I'm doing but the villagers won't even know I'm missing from guard duty."
"Are you sure you can trust the other sentries?"
"We made sure we were on shift with those we could trust. Believe me, they won't say a word." She glanced at Brayden once more who shifted in his spot, still holding his food before he closed his fist and backed away.
I reached out to catch him but he slipped between the trees and disappeared. I stared after him for a moment before turning back to face Tara.
She raised her eyebrows. "That was better than last time."
I nodded. It wasn't much but it was a relief that he hadn't attacked her. Maybe she was right, maybe it was actually Matt who had set off the Instinct last time.
"It could be a while before he's ready to teach you anything about hunters."
She shrugged. "I'm learning plenty just by observing him." She motioned to a smooth rock nearby. "Are you staying? Take a seat."
I checked over my shoulder before sitting down.
Tara sighed. "So where have you been the last few days?"
I told her how far we'd travelled and we talked about the climate changes.
"I don't know why it happens in that region. As you can tell, the weather is more stable here and the village is even better. I have no doubt that Brayden is good with food and shelter but sometimes it's not even a matter of skill. If the food isn't there, there's nothing you can do about it."
"We didn't make it all the way to the edge of the forest but when Brayden told me he'd rather come back here than venture out there, I knew it must be bad. Do you know what lies on the other side of the barren lands?"
Tara picked at some kind of vegetable. "No one really knows. I'd love to journey out there but we can't afford to take resources away from the village. Most of the people who would be willing to explore are the same people who protect the mountain pass. And everyone who's attempted a solo expedition hasn't returned."
