by J. L. Berg
“Well, this specific copy will go into storage, so we can always pull it out. But, if there is a book a customer wants that we don’t have, we order it. That’s always been a policy, just not one we’ve publicized.”
“Until now,” I said, catching on.
“Exactly.”
“So, what do we keep?” I asked, feeling excited and nervous all at the same time.
He motioned me back to the counter where his notebook rested.
We spent the rest of the afternoon going over the inventory, figuring out what to keep and what to put away. Addy left us to it, knowing we were fully capable of handling the details ourselves, but after a while, I was starting to doubt her confidence in us. The storage room wasn’t big enough to hold everything, so after several cuts, I came up with the brilliant plan to hold a sale.
“Call it an after-Christmas sale,” I said.
“It’s a little late for that, don’t you think? It is already after Christmas.”
“Okay, what about a New Year’s sale? It will give us a few days to set up. We can put all the books on sale in front here,” I said, pointing to the space by the counter usually reserved for new releases. “Slash the price by fifty percent or more, anything to get them out of here. It’s better than storing them in the back.”
He stared at me for a moment as I leaned against the counter across from him. I could almost see the wheels in his head moving around.
Then, he made his decision. “All right. Let’s do it.”
“Great. When do we start?” I asked.
Looking at his watch, he got up from the stool he’d been seated on for the last few hours and walked over to the front entrance, flipping the lock, and at the same time, the lights dimmed.
His hard boots hit the wood floor as he returned. “Well, since we’ve been technically closed for about thirty minutes, how about now?”
If it had just been the sound of the door locking, I would have been fine. If the sound of his boots hadn’t been so loud or the room so dark, I could have kept the rational side of me in charge.
But it was too much.
Too much all at once.
And I immediately began to sink into the darkness.
My mind went reeling backward.
“Willow?” His timid voice called out.
“Don’t,” I pleaded. “Please don’t come near me right now.”
“Okay,” he said. “I’m going to go sit on the floor, way over here.”
I lifted my head and watched him walk back to the door, finding a place on the floor to rest. I didn’t know how long we sat like that — me nearly rocking back and forth on the stool behind the counter, my breath heavy and uneven, while he sat on the floor, probably wondering what the heck was wrong with me.
“I’ve been told I’m an excellent listener,” he finally said softly.
“By who?” I asked.
“Whom.”
“What?”
“It’s not by who; it’s by whom. Just demonstrating my superior listening skills for you.”
My eyebrow lifted as I found his faint smile across the room.
“My sister,” he answered. “I think I’ve mentioned to you that, out of the two of us, she took my mother leaving the hardest. Often, late at night, I’d find her crying instead of sleeping. Talking was the only way to keep the tears away, so that was what we’d do, sometimes all night. But it helped. Even me,” he admitted.
“Head down. Don’t look up. Never make eye contact. Those were the rules in my house, growing up. I was to keep out of the way, shut up, and pretend I didn’t exist,” I said in one quick breath. “I played my part well, staying out of sight for as long as I could. Until I couldn’t anymore.”
“What do you mean?” he asked, his voice distant.
“The men who frequented our place weren’t always the best men, something my mother constantly reminded me of. When I was little, I would convince myself that she did this to protect me, but I soon came to realize, she was blaming me for her crappy clientele. No one wanted to see a kid running around when they came to have a good time.”
“That’s not fair.”
“No,” I agreed. “But it was the truth. It’s why she made me all but hide when I started to get older, fearing some of the less-than-savory men would try their luck with me rather than actually pay for any services she offered.”
“Willow, no.”
I could hear the agony in his voice as he came to the realization of my words.
“I should have stayed in my bedroom,” I said meekly. Looking down at my gloved hands, I remembered the first time I’d put them on.
“I didn’t move for what felt like days, but in reality, it was just a few hours. All I could hear was the sound of my mother’s voice as she paced the floor. She was angry that I hadn’t listened. Angry that some dirty scumbag had taken advantage of her.”
“Of her?” he interrupted.
I nodded, meeting his pained expression. “He hadn’t paid her.”
“I’m going to ask you a question,” he said, “and feel free to say no, but it’s killing me to sit against this wall when you’re so far away. If I promise not to touch you and I turn on the lights… hell, I’ll even tiptoe over there like a freaking fairy, can I please sit next to you?”
“Yes,” I found myself instantly agreeing.
He did as he’d promised, slipping off his shoes before he flipped on the lights. He moved carefully across the store, checking on me each step of the way to ensure I wasn’t in any distress.
“I’m okay,” I assured him.
Sam took a deep breath, exhaling slowly, as he found a spot on the floor next to me by the old counter. I was seated on the stool in front of the cash register, so the angle was awkward.
But he was right.
It was better to have him close by.
“I was lying in my room, staring at the wall, shaking, because I had no tears left to cry, and that was when I saw them, balled up in a corner.”
“The gloves?”
“I must have thrown them there and forgotten about them. I’m not the neatest person. But, in that moment, they looked safe and warm… everything I wasn’t. So, I crawled off the bed and slipped them on. It felt like armor, and I just knew I was never going to take them off again.”
“Can I ask you something?” he said, looking up at me from his spot on the dusty floor.
“Anything.”
“What did I do tonight? Specifically? To scare you? I’ve done it before, haven’t I?”
I nodded. “The sound of your boots,” I said, a bit of sadness in my words. “It doesn’t usually bother me, but that coupled with the darkness and the lock clicking into place. Before he… when it happened, I walked out into the hallway, and he caught me. He pushed me back into my room, and the only things I heard were the sound of his boots and the lock clicking into place. I didn’t even see his face. It was too dark,” I said.
“And what did I do before?” he asked.
“You put your hand on my shoulder.”
He nodded, remembering. “In the hall. I didn’t even think about it. I was just—”
“Sticking up for me. I know.”
Silence settled between us as we both searched for what to say next.
“I’m not him,” he finally said. “I hope you know that. I’d never hurt you… or do anything to make you feel uncomfortable.”
“I know,” I answered. “It’s been a long road, but I do know the difference between someone like you and Addy or Allison and someone like… him. But it’s just been easier, not having to figure it out, you know? The gloves, my armor, keep me at a safe distance from everyone.”
“No chance of being hurt that way,” he murmured.
“Right,” I answered.
“So, where does that leave us?” he asked, his beautiful green eyes meeting mine.
I held my hand out to his. “Right here, if that’s okay with you?”
He tentatively met m
y hand with his own, barely brushing the loose threads of my glove. “Sounds perfect.”
It did indeed.
I DECIDED TO head into the bookstore early the next day. With our plans for the New Year’s sale underway, I knew we had a lot of work ahead of us, and Sam would probably try to take it all on himself.
What I hadn’t expected was to find the store nearly empty when I arrived.
“Are you the only one here?” I asked Sophie after pulling the door shut behind me. I took my coat off, feeling the lingering chill from the outdoors still clinging to the air.
“Yep,” she said. “It’s been pretty slow so far this morning. Sam said you weren’t coming in until three though. Did I mishear him?” She looked down at the schedule that was always taped to the counter by the register.
“No, he’s right. That is my normal time. I just thought I’d come in early and help out with the sale.”
“Oh, right. He mentioned that. Um, I think he made a list of books to pull in the stockroom,” she said, picking up her phone to check a text message that had just come in.
“Any idea when he’ll be in?”
She smiled, setting her phone down and refocusing her attention back on me. “I have a feeling it will be soon.”
I had no idea what she was talking about, so I just headed for the back, unsure of what the protocol was in regard to your boyfriend or semi boyfriend or guy you liked and his sister.
Should I have stuck around and tried to strike up a conversation?
Were we supposed to be friends?
Did it matter if she liked me?
I had no idea.
So, instead, I hid in the back with my books.
All fifty thousand of them — or so it appeared. I nearly fell over from the massive piles that had erupted overnight. Sam must have been here for hours, making lists and pulling books from the shelves.
“Did I go a little overboard?”
I turned around to see Sam standing behind me, his hands in his pockets and his cheeks still red from the cold outside. He wore a knit beanie on his head, something I’d only seen on him a time or two before but instantly loved. It framed his face, pulling the loose pieces of hair away from his striking features.
He really did need a haircut.
“Depends,” I answered, pulling my eyes away from him, “on what you pulled.”
I took a step forward, glancing at each pile with a certain amount of scrutiny.
“What?” I said, pulling a book I’d had my eye on for a while. “You can’t put this on sale! It will definitely sell. It’s barely been out for three months.”
His hands left his pockets, and he wrapped his arms around his chest. “Then, why is it still here?”
Glancing around the piles, I noticed a general lack of books he tended to gravitate toward. Making my way out of the stockroom, I brushed past him, noticing the way his eyes lingered on the place where my shoulder had touched his.
“What about these?” I asked, pointing to several books from a series I knew he loved. “They’ve been on the shelf for a year.”
“They’re classics!” he pointed out. “You can’t put a classic on sale!”
I rolled my eyes. “And the comic books?”
“Also classics.”
“You’re impossible,” I muttered.
“But lovable? And maybe even a little adorable?”
“Your cuteness will not change the fact that teen romance is a huge seller for us, yet you have half of them in the back!”
He nodded. “And there is a reason for that.”
Folding my arms in front of me, I waited.
“What do we have a ton of in this town right now?” he asked me.
I gave him a blank look. “Antique stores?”
He laughed. “Okay, besides that.” There was a short pause, as he waited for me to figure it out. When it became clear, I wasn’t into his game, he finally gave in. “Teenagers!” he announced. “And, specifically, teenage girls! Come on, Willow. Don’t you see what I’m doing here? I’m not trying to get rid of your beloved young adult section. I’m trying to find customers for it. So, how do we do that? Offer up a sale.”
“That’s actually smart, I guess,” I said.
“I know.”
“But I have one condition.”
“To the plan I’ve already set in motion?”
I nodded.
“Okay.”
I held out the book that was still neatly tucked in my hand. “I want this book, half off.”
His laughter filled the entire store.
STANDING IN FRONT of the nearly full bookshelf in my room, I slipped my new favorite book next to the others, smiling to myself with happiness. Even though I hadn’t read it yet and I had about five others to read before I got to it, I knew it would be amazing.
Because that was what reading was to me.
It gave the lonely girl still living inside me a thousand opportunities to walk in someone else’s shoes — see life in a new perspective, travel to a new land… even be a mythical creature if I wanted to be.
And, so far, I’d taken that little girl everywhere.
Yet the very real teenager that I was, was stuck.
Stuck in these gloves that kept me from doing anything.
I wasn’t lying when I’d told Sam I trusted him. I did, more than he knew.
Yet when it came to showing him? Showing anyone? I was stuck.
Trapped inside these gloves that were supposed to protect me from the horrors of the world.
Instead, they’d somehow become my prison, and I couldn’t find the key to unlock my freedom.
Grabbing the edge of my left glove, I tried. I tried so hard to pull it off… to reveal the skin beneath.
Allison had once asked how I showered, a common question people must have had when they found out about my oddity.
“I use plastic bags and tape,” I’d confessed, feeling ashamed. “Sometimes, when they get really gross, I’ll wash them with a little shampoo, but it itches while I wait for them to dry.”
“So, you never take them off?” she’d asked.
“Never.”
Never suddenly felt like a long time.
“YOU READY TO go?” Addy asked, peeking her head inside my room.
I’d turned my attention away from my books, instead focusing on putting away a few loads of laundry before going to work. Once again, I was heading in early to help Sam out.
We had a lot to do.
“You don’t have to drive me,” I said, finishing up. I placed an armful of shirts in my dresser drawer and quickly grabbed my backpack. I didn’t think we’d have much downtime while preparing for the sale, but if for some reason we did, I wanted to be prepared with some homework since the end of winter break was quickly approaching, and I was horribly behind.
“I know,” she replied. “But it’s cold out there, and I hate seeing you walk all the time. Besides, Sam requested that I join you.”
That piqued my interest.
Looking up, I met her gaze. “He did? Do you know why?”
She shrugged, looking as clueless as I did. “No idea, but I guess we will find out soon. You ready?”
I halfway put my backpack over my shoulder and walked across the small space before I realized my jacket was still on the bed. I tried to ignore the tiny chuckle that escaped from my aunt.
“Just glad to see you excited,” she said as I wrinkled my nose at her.
“To go to work?” I replied.
I followed her out the door, pausing just outside to allow her time to lock everything up.
Once her keys were safely in her hand, she looked over at me and replied, “Are you ever going to admit to me that you have a crush on that boy?”
“I… yes, maybe.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I caught her smiling.
“I know it might seem like I don’t have much experience in dating, considering I haven’t been on a single date since you arrived here. But I hav
e—”
“Awkward. This is totally awkward,” I said as we approached the car.
“Okay, good. I felt like I was dying.” She breathed out in relief.
I couldn’t help but laugh.
“Just know I’m here if you ever want to talk… about anything.”
I nodded. “I know.”
“Good.”
We enjoyed the rest of the drive in silence as I sat back, watching the town I’d found myself falling in love with rush by the window. It was a short route into town, less than a few minutes really, one that I’d nearly memorized from my walks to and from the bookstore.
From the tiny gas station on the corner that served some of the best ice cream in town to the diner we passed as we turned onto Main that Allison and I frequented because of their cheap fries, there were memories spread all over this town.
Good memories.
Bad memories.
And everything else in between.
Mrs. Landers’s words came back to me then. Cherish your memories — the good, the bad, and everything in between.
It reminded me of the life or story I was creating here with Addy and Allison… and Sam. As much as I wanted to forget about the bad memories of my life, I was determined to make good ones here… the ones I’d remember forever.
Addy parked the car directly outside the bookstore, and I noticed the mess in front of the large set of windows right away.
“Looks like he got started early again,” I muttered.
“You two have been busy,” she remarked as we entered.
Piles of books were stacked by the checkout counter, leaving obvious holes in the usually full shelves around the store. Also, there was the mess in the front corner.
“How long have you been here?” I asked Sam the moment his head popped up from a stack of books.
“Six, maybe seven? I don’t remember really. I couldn’t sleep.”
“Six in the morning?”
He nodded before noticing Addy. “Oh, good, you came!”
“I did.” She smiled as she pulled her gloves off and stuffed them in the pockets of her coat.
“I have a bit of news,” he said, standing upright.
I watched as he stretched, arching his back, as if he’d been hunched over for longer than he should have been.
