by J. L. Berg
Everyone in my life was happy.
Especially Sam.
He’d been given the honor of getting the first haircut at the brand-new store last night, letting Addy have a chance to test-drive all of her equipment after the move. I’d sat in one of the refurbished chairs we’d placed in the waiting area, looking through a magazine about celebrity marriages, as I listened to them talk. I’d tried not to peek.
But maybe that was a bad idea because the moment he’d stepped in front of me?
I was pretty sure my heart had malfunctioned.
Sam had always been cute. No girl at Sugar Tree High would deny that.
But now? Well, he was downright hot. The long, messy tendrils of hair were now cut short and sleek, showing off his square jaw and those mesmerizing eyes.
Like that hot guy from Divergent, Four?
Sam was that hot… just a little younger.
Since then, I’d been unable to form complete sentences in his presence.
Okay, that was a lie… but the struggle was real, and if I didn’t start paying serious attention in History rather than thinking of my super-hot boyfriend, I was definitely going to miss half the questions on our upcoming final.
I was pretty positive I couldn’t use him as an excuse either.
Just as I was finally starting to get back into the lecture Mrs. Landers was giving on Lewis and Clark, the bell rang, signaling the end of class.
Well, at least I tried.
I quickly gathered my things, shoving my textbook and binder into my backpack along with the pen I’d barely used. As I slung my backpack over my shoulder, I fully expected to see Sam standing in front of me. Instead though was Mrs. Landers.
“I was wondering if I might have a word with you and Sam,” she said.
Oh no. I began to panic.
Had she noticed me staring at him? Is she worried about my grades because of my overwhelming infatuation with the back of my boyfriend’s head?
I inwardly groaned as Sam approached.
“I heard through the grapevine that Page Turners is now open to clubs?”
I felt my spastic nerves calm as I instantly realized this wasn’t about me at all.
It was about the bookstore.
“Yes, that’s correct,” Sam replied.
“I’ve been hosting a book club, mostly reading historical fiction, for years now, and…well, quite frankly, I’m tired of cleaning and baking every week, especially now that I live alone. I was hoping you might allow us to hold our meeting at the bookstore. There are only six of us, and I’d be happy to order our books through you.”
“That would be great,” we both replied in unison.
“Wonderful!” she exclaimed. “And I don’t suppose you can provide refreshments?”
The was a moment of silence before I chimed in, “Of course. Whatever you need. Just send an email to the shop, and we’ll have everything set up.”
Mrs. Landers was beyond delighted when we left.
Sam… not so much.
“Refreshments?” he said as we both rushed to class. “Refreshments, Willow? How are we going to pull that off? Remember Addy telling us to take this one step at a time?”
My hands flew out. “I know, I know! But Mrs. Landers looked so hopeful. What was I supposed to do?”
“Say, No, sorry. Why don’t you try the bakery across town?”
“What about your sister?” I said out of the blue.
He stopped in the middle of the hallway, people rushing around us, as the bell rang. Now, we were officially late for class. He didn’t seem to care.
“My sister who burns everything? That doesn’t sound wise.”
“No, but maybe Addy could train her? You’re always saying she needs to grow up.” I gave a brief shrug, adjusting my heavy backpack in the process. “It’s just a thought. But it would definitely give us a leg up in hosting if we were able to provide more than just coffee.”
His eyes narrowed, and I could see he was thinking it over.
“Okay. I’ll think about it, and we can talk about it more this afternoon. But, in the meantime, do you think you could maybe not promise anything more without checking with your business partner first?”
I smiled as he stepped closer. “Business partner?”
“Sure, why not? I mean, I can’t give you an official title, but when it comes to decisions and how Page Turners is handled… I want you included. Always.”
“Your dad will be thrilled.” I laughed.
“My dad is convinced the place is going to shut down in a few weeks anyway. We are going to prove him wrong.”
“Yes, we are.”
He looked around, finally realizing how silent the halls were.
“But not right now. Right now, we’re going to get our butts to class before we find ourselves in detention instead of work.”
“There’s a pep rally last period. Everyone will be heading out to the gym at any minute.”
He nodded. “Right. Well then, perfect time to slide in without notice. I’ll see you after school.”
His hand squeezed mine before he dashed down the hall toward his classroom.
I did the same and managed to sneak in just as everyone was walking out toward the gym. I’d never been so late for a class in my life. My heart was beating so fast. I was sure everyone around me could hear it as I wove through, searching for Allison.
“There you are!” she said under her breath. “I covered for you when roll was called, said you were in the restroom.”
“Thank you. Mrs. Landers asked Sam and me to stay late to discuss the possibility of her book club meeting at the store and then we ended up talking past the bell,” I explained as we walked side by side.
“That’s it?” she whined. “I was really hoping for something far more scandalous. Next time I lie for you, make sure it’s for something juicy, okay?”
I laughed. “I’ll try.”
I was never a fan of pep rallies. They were loud, the bleachers were incredibly uncomfortable to sit on, and then there was the horde of people. The teachers squeezed us in there like cattle, no regard for our personal space. The first time I’d walked in here, I’d nearly had a panic attack. If it hadn’t been for Allison making sure I was safe and untouched, I might have run out and never returned to school.
She’d been my rock this year.
And, to think, I’d tried to turn her away just because of the way she looked.
I’d thought she was too pretty, too perky, and altogether too normal for me. But she’d persisted and broken down my walls, and somehow, I’d found a lifelong friend in that pretty, perky girl.
“You okay?” she asked as we took our seats toward the front.
Thankfully, our class had arrived a bit late, so we didn’t have to make the long hike toward the top of the bleachers today.
Nodding, I casually took a look around for Sam and quickly spotted him a few rows up behind us. He’d obviously already found me because the moment my eyes met his, he smiled.
And my stomach did a flip-flop.
“Hey, do you think they’ll let us go if this thing gets done early?” Allison asked with hope.
“No, we’d never be so lucky,” I replied, turning back around toward the front, just in time to see our principal take center stage.
“Good afternoon, Sugar Tree High!” he shouted into the microphone with forced enthusiasm.
Some of the students gave it back to him, yelling and making obnoxious sounds, like Allison.
She proudly stood and hollered, “Go, Statesmen!”
Others, like me, sat quietly and tried to be invisible.
“We’re glad to have you back after a long, relaxing winter break. We’re greatly looking forward to a successful and fun rest of the year. I hope you all are ready and prepared for your exams coming up in the next few weeks and are looking forward to your spring semester!”
The senior section of the gym gave out a unanimous cry of victory, celebrating the mention of
their last semester of high school.
Lucky jerks.
“As a treat before finals, we’ve decided to give you a little taste of what you have to look forward to this spring in sports! We have a new basketball coach, who will be introduced in a minute. But, first, as always when a new semester begins, we’d like to start out by introducing new staff and faculty.”
“Oh God, we’re going to be here for an eternity,” someone muttered behind me.
I briefly turned around to see Katie Drew directly behind me, still overdressed and wearing her offensive necklace. She flashed me a fake smile before rolling her eyes. The sound of her little posse of friends snickering could be heard as I swiftly turned back around to hear the polite round of applause for the new groundskeeper and administrator.
“We also have a new faculty member to introduce,” Principal Mendoza announced.
“Oh, it’s your new favorite teacher, Allison,” Katie taunted from behind us.
My hand quickly grabbed hers. “Don’t let her get to you,” I said.
But it wasn’t my words that settled her. Her eyes were frozen on our hands, and then a wide smile spread across her face.
“I won’t,” she replied.
“Taking the place of Mrs. Decker, some of you might already know him, but for those of you who have yet to meet the man who will lead our Spanish department let me be the first to introduce Mr. Lee.”
I’d hate to say it, but there had been more applause for the groundskeeper than our new Spanish instructor. He took it with stride though, walking with confidence toward Principal Mendoza. The two men shook hands, and to my surprise, Mr. Lee took the mic into his hands.
And that was when my world went upside down.
“Thank you, Principal Mendoza.” His voice boomed loudly through the gymnasium. The speaker reverberated, causing a high-pitched screech that had the entire student body covering their ears.
But that wasn’t the reason for my panic.
No, the squeal of the speaker had nothing to do with it.
It was him.
That voice. I’d never forget it in all my life.
“Willow? Are you okay?” I heard Allison ask, but her voice felt light-years away.
Because I was already gone.
I was already running.
Fleeing from the teacher at the microphone. The man with the voice I’d never forget.
This wasn’t simply Mr. Lee, the Spanish teacher.
This was the man who had raped me.
WALKING INTO THE empty house, I couldn’t really recall how I’d gotten there.
Everything was a blur.
All I remembered was his voice, Allison’s voice, and the overwhelming sense of panic.
I’d had to get out.
And so I had.
Touching my clothes, I realized I was drenched in sweat. Did I run all the way home?
Looking around, I realized I couldn’t stay.
This wasn’t my home.
Not anymore.
Not while he was here.
And so I packed. I ran to my room, still hot and sweaty, knowing Addy wouldn’t be home for a few hours, busy with her grand opening, and I prepared to leave the only home I’d known.
The only suitcase I had was the ratty old bag I’d arrived with, which meant I could only fit the essentials.
After one last look of longing at my bookshelf where all my beautiful stories dwelled, I knew it was for the best. This was their home.
This was where they belonged.
I thought I had, too.
“What are you doing?”
I turned around to see Sam standing in the doorway, his eyes wide with panic as they settled on the bag of clothes.
“Why are you here?” I asked, not bothering to stop what I was doing. I had to get out of here.
“You ran out of the gym like someone was chasing you down. Allison said you were fine one minute, and the next, you were as white as a ghost.”
He stepped forward, and I immediately stepped back.
His shoulders slumped as his expression fell. “You’re scared of me?”
“No,” I answered immediately. “I’m just—”
“You’re just what? Willow, please talk to me. Why are you packing?”
“I have to go. I can’t stay here anymore.”
“Two hours ago, we were making plans for the store, and now, you’re bailing? I don’t understand.”
“I just can’t do this anymore, okay?” I shouted. “This place isn’t me. I don’t fit in.”
Silence fell between us.
“You should go,” I said. “You’re probably in a load of trouble for ditching school, and the bookstore—”
“Screw school! Screw the bookstore! All I care about right now is you!” His eyes were blazing as his voice rang through the house. “I know you’re lying. You can’t hide from me. You just can’t.”
“He’s here,” I said, finally breaking. “The man who — he’s here.”
Sam pulled me into his arms as tears fell for the first time since that dark night in early September when a selfish, evil man had stolen my innocence away from me.
“How do you know?” he asked after several long minutes.
I pulled back slightly, watching him wipe the tears from my eyes. He knew now that there were no walls between us. No borders.
I trusted him.
I always had.
“His voice,” I said, shaking my head, as I thought it out. “You know how, in comic books, the hero always wears a mask but never bothers to alter his voice? No one ever notices. Well, believe me, you never forget. Ever,” I said with effort.
“The new teacher?” His sad eyes searched mine as he pieced it all together.
“Yes.”
“We’ve got to go, Willow. We’ve got to go tell the school.”
He grabbed my hand, but I wouldn’t budge.
“I can’t.”
“What do you mean?”
“I can’t be here,” I explained. “I can’t be anywhere near here. I’m not brave like you.”
“Then, I’ll go with you,” he decided, taking my bag with his other hand and slung it over his shoulder.
“No.” I shook my head back and forth, tears streaming down my face. “That’s not how this works. Your life is here — your family, your roots. What kind of person would I be if I took the first Shepherd in a million generations out of Sugar Tree?”
“It’s not a million,” he said. “And you wouldn’t be making the decision. I would.”
“We can’t run away together, Sam.”
He knew I was right.
“So, let me fight for you. I’ll be with you every step of the way. We can beat this guy together.”
Sam was willing to give up everything for me… willing to fight my demons and slay the bad guy. He really did love me.
Reaching up, I did the one thing I’d been dying to do since the day I met him. I kissed him. For the first time… and for the last.
I felt him kiss me back. I felt the desire, the love, and the endless possibilities that could never be.
As our lips touched for that one brief moment in time, I held on, letting it sear into my memory, hoping it would be enough to last a lifetime.
Because a lifetime without him was what I had to look forward to.
Without Addy.
And without Sugar Tree.
Because, as it turned out… I wasn’t brave after all.
I was a runner.
As I pulled back, my forehead still resting on his, I knew it was time.
“My time to fight was in September, Sam, when my mom found me huddled in my room, scared and afraid. That was when it should have happened. Now? All I have is my word against his. And I’m just a girl from the wrong side of the tracks.”
Wrapping my fingers around the straps of my bag that still rested on his shoulder, I slowly transferred it to mine and watched as his hopeful face turned to something closer to dread.
“Take care of Allison and Addy for me? And don’t be too hard on your sister,” I said, grabbing a few extra shirts from my drawer.
He didn’t stop me as I walked out of the room, nor did he see the way my eyes squeezed shut as I crossed the threshold, leaving him and books behind. Finding my way back to the living room, I stopped short. Addy still had the Christmas tree up, something she hadn’t gotten around to taking down with all the chaos of getting the salon up and running.
The lights twinkled and blinked as I took one last look at her precious family heirlooms that hung from each limb while I remembered how special I’d felt when she let me hang them.
“You’re family,” she’d insisted that night not so long ago. “They’re as much yours as they are mine.”
“I’ll never forget you, Addy,” I whispered, wiping a single tear from my cheek.
“You don’t have to,” Sam pressed, stepping in front of the door before I could.
“Sam…”
“Where will you go?” he asked. “Please don’t say D.C.”
“I will never go back there,” I replied adamantly.
“Then, where?”
“Anywhere but here,” I said before reaching around Sam for the door and pulling it open with force.
He jumped away, surprised by my swiftness. I took that moment to run. I knew he wouldn’t let me leave, not willingly. He was too good, too kind.
I listened to him yelling my name as tears fell from my eyes.
But I never stopped running.
I never stopped.
I CONTINUED RUNNING until my lungs burned and my legs ached from exhaustion.
And then I ran even farther.
All the way to the bus stop on the edge of town. The place where my story had begun.
I’d walked past this place dozens of times on my journeys to and from the bookstore and everywhere else, because of that, I’d pretty much seen every bus come and go and therefore had the schedule down pat.
It’s why I knew that at exactly three thirty, a bus would appear.
And I would leave.
For good.
I didn’t know if Sam would follow me. I couldn’t take the chance, so the minute my feet stopped as I slid into that lonely little bus stop I’d arrived in just a few months earlier, I hopped on my phone and purchased a ticket to save time.
