The Parasol Protectorate Boxed Set

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The Parasol Protectorate Boxed Set Page 134

by Gail Carriger


  Felicity huffed out a little breath of aggravation. “You know, I told Countess Nadasdy. I told her! And she did nothing! She said it was a matter of werewolf internal politics and domestic relations, and none of her concern.”

  “So you waited, and when you heard Lady Kingair was in town, you decided to tell her? Why?”

  “Because she will react badly and tell Lord Maccon in the worst possible way.”

  “You may, quite possibly, be evil,” said Biffy in a resigned tone.

  “It’s always been Alexia: better, smarter, special in that way of hers. Alexia who married an earl. Alexia who visits the queen. Alexia who lives in town. Alexia with a baby. Who am I to be left behind by my great lump of a sister? Why is she so wonderful? She’s not pretty. She’s not talented. She has none of my finer qualities.”

  Biffy could hardly believe such pettiness. “You did this to destroy your sister’s marriage?”

  “Alexia had me exiled to Europe for two years! Now I’m too old for the marriage mart. But what does she care for my problems? She’s well set up. Wife of an earl! She doesn’t deserve to have any of it! It should be mine!”

  “Why, you horrible little creature.”

  “No wife should keep a confidence from her husband like that.” Felicity struggled to find the moral high ground.

  “And no thought of what this will do to Professor Lyall or this pack?”

  “What do I care for a middle-class professor or a gaggle of werewolves?”

  Biffy suddenly couldn’t stand to even look at the girl. “Get out.”

  “What?”

  “Get out of my house, Miss Loontwill. And I hope never to see you again.”

  “What do I care for your ill opinion, either, Mr. Rabiffano? A mere hat-shop owner and a low-ranked werewolf.”

  “You may not care for mine, Miss Loontwill, but I still enjoy the friendship of Lord Akeldama, and I will see he knows exactly what you have done. Lady Maccon is his very dear friend and he will see you ostracized from polite society because of this. Rest assured, Miss Loontwill, you will become a social pariah. I recommend you plan an emigration of some kind. Perhaps to the Americas. You will no longer be welcome in any parlor in London.”

  “But—”

  “Good evening, Miss Loontwill.”

  Biffy didn’t know what good he thought it might do, but it was quarter moon—enough for him to change without difficulty and not so full he might lose control. Not that he did that much anymore. He was getting better and better at the shift, almost like adjusting to a new haircut or cravat. It still hurt like nothing else on earth, which made it less cravatlike than one would prefer, but at least now when he was a wolf, he was still himself. There had been some doubt of that once.

  He had only one advantage over Lady Kingair. He already knew where Professor Lyall was supposed to be. He did not have to track him through the city. He ran straight there, a lean chocolate-colored wolf with an oxblood stomach and a certain mottling about his neck that was almost, Lady Maccon had kindly noted, cravatlike. He used the back alleys and side streets so as not to disturb anyone. Most of London knew they now boasted a werewolf pack residing in the city center, but there was a difference between knowing and meeting a wolf face-to-face when engaging in an evening constitutional. That said, he did encounter a group of sporting blunts at their cups, who all politely raised their hats to him as he passed.

  The Bureau of Unnatural Registry occupied the first few stories of an unassuming Georgian near the London Times offices and generally kept itself to itself in the manner of all semisecret government operations. Tonight, however, there was clearly something afoot even from outside the building. Had not the bright lights and rapidly shifting shadows given this indication, the yells loud enough for even a normal human to hear would have. Not to mention the fact that the front door was wide open and hanging askew on its hinges.

  Biffy nosed his way inside.

  The hallway was filled with running men, demands for numbing agents, calls for the constabulary, and arguments over whether they were authorized to interfere.

  “Clearly a personal werewolf matter!”

  “Oh, you think so, Phinkerlington? Then why bring it to BUR?”

  “Who knows the ways of werewolves? Ours is not to question pack protocol.”

  “But… but… but Professor Lyall never fights!”

  “This is a matter of enforcement. BUR must enforce!”

  At that juncture, the collective in the hallway noticed Biffy slinking in among them.

  “Oh, spiffing, here’s another one!”

  “Now, now, perhaps he can help.”

  “They’re in the stockroom, Mr. Werewolf, sir, and we may not have a stockroom soon if they don’t quiet down.”

  Biffy was not all that familiar with the layout of BUR, but he could follow his ultrasensitive hearing, which directed him up the stairs toward a large cavernous room. The door to this room was also open, although unbroken, and crowded round it stood a group of BUR officers and agents watching a battle within. Money was exchanged as wagers were taken on the outcome, and now and then a cry of distress went up as something particularly dramatic occurred.

  Biffy forced his way through the onlookers’ legs and entered the room, still not certain what good he might do but determined to try.

  Professor Lyall and Lady Kingair were faced off against one another. Professor Lyall was not doing well.

  If one were to pass the professor in wolf form in the countryside, one might mistake him for some kind of overgrown off-color fox. He was a slender, elegant creature and not one to inspire confidence in battle. Biffy had learned since joining the pack that Professor Lyall’s skill lay in his ability to fight smart and in his quickness and dexterity. He was almost beautiful as he battled the Alpha of Kingair, his movements lithe and graceful, calculated, yet impossibly swift.

  But he was only a Beta. He simply wasn’t strong enough. He was holding his own, but his body was ripped open in a thousand places and he was fighting pure defense. Every good general knows that defense will never win.

  Biffy couldn’t help himself. Instinct took over. He’d been learning his werewolf instincts for two years now, so he was cogent enough to analyze their meaning. One urged him not to face an Alpha, but it was balanced out by another that urged him to help his packmate, to protect his Beta. That second instinct was the one that won.

  Biffy launched himself at Lady Kingair, going for her face. As a human, he would never contemplate such a thing—to hit the face was ungentlemanly and to hit a lady unpardonable—but werewolves measured victory in challenge by the destruction of the eyes. Eyes were one of the few things a wolf could bite that took time to heal, rendering continued roughhousing impossible. There was also death, of course. It wasn’t common, but it did happen, usually when an Alpha faced a much weaker opponent, or two Alphas fought in daylight.

  Lady Kingair dodged easily out of Biffy’s way. Professor Lyall barked at him, an order to stay out of it, but Biffy wasn’t going to let him take on an enraged Alpha all alone. He charged Lady Kingair again.

  The Alpha swung her head around and sliced at the side of his cheek, tearing it open with her teeth. Biffy felt the burning sting of profound pain and then the equally agonizing knitting sensation as his body repaired itself. Everything, he had realized shortly after his metamorphosis, was pain for werewolves. Which was probably why they were so mean—general buildup of peevishness.

  Lady Kingair was on him again. Biffy realized what Professor Lyall was up against. The female Alpha was vicious in battle. She gave no quarter and had no mercy. Oh, she was smart about it, as smart as Lord Maccon in a fight, but she was a lot less nice. She was almost taunting them, never going in for a kill strike or the eye mark that would bring about victory. She wanted the torture, like a cat with mice. She wanted Professor Lyall to suffer, and now that Biffy was there, she wanted him to suffer, too.

  Biffy and Professor Lyall exchanged yellow-eyed looks. They
really had only one option. They had to either exhaust Lady Kingair, or they had to keep her occupied until sunrise. A tall order indeed, but there were two of them.

  For the next three hours, Biffy and Lyall traded off fighting Lady Kingair. They never once let her rest, while managing to grab a few minutes to flop down and pant one at a time, catch a breath, and heal slightly. Even two of them acting together could not defeat her or injure her enough to make her yield. She was far too much of an Alpha for that. So they simply kept fighting her. Hoping her anger would run dry. Hoping she might collapse in exhaustion. Hoping the sun might rise. Her anger was inexhaustible, as was her speed and abilities. And the sun refused to rise.

  Biffy was beginning to flag. The loss of blood was catching up with him in a quintessential werewolf way. He wanted to turn upon the humans crowding the doorway and feed almost as much as he wanted to fight. But some lingering sense of gentlemanly behavior would not allow him to abandon his Beta. He fought on until all his muscles were shaking, until he thought he could not lift another paw. He could only imagine what poor Professor Lyall felt, who must have been fighting Lady Kingair at least an hour longer than he.

  Yet she kept right on going, her claws wicked and fast, her teeth impossibly sharp.

  She got that great jaw of hers around Biffy’s hind leg and began biting down. She was no doubt strong enough to snap the bone in half. Biffy hoped Professor Lyall was prepared to jump in while he took the time needed to knit that bone back together. He also hoped he was prepared for the pain. When the bone broke, it was liable to be excruciating, and he’d hate to howl with all those men watching.

  Except it became suddenly clear that all the bones in his body were involuntarily breaking, fracturing, and re-forming. Fur was moving toward his head, the feel of stinging gnats crawling up his skin. He was left lying, limp and panting, naked in the utterly destroyed stockroom of BUR headquarters.

  The sun had peeked its cheery head above the horizon.

  “I’ll thank you, Lady Kingair, to remove my ankle from your mouth,” he said.

  Sidheag Maccon did so, looking exhausted, and spat in disgust.

  “I took a bath recently,” said Biffy in mild rebuke.

  Professor Lyall crawled over to them, his wounds far greater than either Biffy’s or Lady Kingair’s. They would be slow to heal, now that the sun was up. But at least the fighting was over. Or so Biffy thought.

  “You nasty, manipulative little maggot,” said Lady Kingair to Professor Lyall, her words more rancorous than her tone, which was fatigued.

  The Beta looked over at the door full of curious BUR employees. “Haverbink, close the door, please. This is none of BUR’s concern.”

  “Oh, but, sir!”

  “Now, Haverbink.”

  “Well, here you go, sir. Figured you might need these.” The aforementioned Haverbink, a strapping lad who looked like he ought to be milking pigs, or whatever it was they did in the Yorkshire dales, tossed some blankets and three large muttonchops into the room. Then he shut the door, no doubt leaning his ear to the outside.

  Despite the gnawing, raging hunger, Biffy reached for a blanket first, dragging it to cover over his lower half, for modesty’s sake.

  “Good lad, Haverbink,” commented Lyall as he bit into a chop. He handed one to Biffy, and in exchange Biffy tucked half the blanket around Lyall solicitously, noting that Professor Lyall had very nice thighs.

  Biffy took the meat gratefully, wishing he had a knife and fork. And a plate, for that matter. But the meat smelled so good he turned aside so the others couldn’t quite see and took as delicate bites as he could.

  Lady Kingair gave the Beta a long look when he offered her the last chop and then took it with a muttered “thanks.” She tore into the bloody meat without regard for anyone’s finer feelings.

  Lyall was looking at Biffy with an odd expression in his hazel eyes. “Biffy, my dear boy, when did you learn to fight with soul?”

  “Um, what do you mean, Professor?”

  “Just now, you knew who you were, who I was, and what we were doing the entire time.”

  Biffy swallowed his mouthful. “Isn’t that part of controlling the shape-shift?”

  “Goodness no. It’s a rare thing for a wolf to fight smart. Alphas, of course, and a few lucky Betas, and some of the oldest of the pack regulars. But most everyone else goes on instinct. It’s quite a gift to have learned so young. I’m proud of you.”

  Biffy could feel himself blushing. Never before had he received a compliment from Professor Lyall, not even a fashion-related one.

  “Och, how sweet.” Lady Kingair’s lip curled. “But perhaps the compliments could wait until you have explained yourself, Beta.”

  Lyall finished his repast and collapsed against an overturned stack of metal slates. Biffy pressed his back slightly against his Beta’s legs, taking comfort from the contact, and leaned up on one elbow to look at Lady Kingair. The Alpha propped herself into a full seated position, using a massive box of ammunition. She looked tired, but still angry. They all stared at one another.

  Finally Professor Lyall said, “I’ll admit I did not see it from your perspective, my lady. And for that I extend my sincerest apologizes. But you have no idea what he was like. No idea.”

  Sidheag Maccon looked much like her great-great-great-grandfather as she popped the last bite into her mouth and gave the Beta an austere look. When she finished chewing, she said magnanimously, “I ken he went mad. I ken he was violent. I dinna think that’s an excuse.”

  “He killed Alessandro.”

  “Aye? Well, Templar training will only get a man so far. And after, what? You planned for years to get your revenge. At my expense. At poor old Gramps’s expense. He was happy in Scotland. What werewolf wants to come to England when he has the rolling green of the Lowland to run? You stole him against his will. Against our will.”

  The Beta fished about for a scrap of paper and cleaned his hands of blood as though with a handkerchief. “I provided the temptation. Your pack need not have followed it.”

  “Na good enough, Randolph Lyall. Na good enough.”

  Professor Lyall took a deep breath as though to fortify himself. Biffy felt a soft touch on his shoulder, and he craned his neck about to find the Beta leaning toward him. “You needn’t have come, pup, although I’m glad you did. But I do wish you didn’t have to hear what comes next.”

  But Biffy did hear, every messy, degrading, disgusting detail as Professor Lyall told Lady Kingair exactly what life had been like under the Alpha Lord Woolsey. Servicing him as Beta near the end had been humiliating—for five and a half long years. Lyall’s face was deadpan as he relayed the details, as those who are tortured or raped will become when they retell the pattern of abuse. Biffy began crying quietly and wishing, indeed, that he did not have to hear it.

  Lady Kingair lost much of her anger in the telling, but her sympathies were not entirely swayed. She could understand that Lyall had found himself in a situation with no possible way out except the one he took. But she could still not forgive that her pack had suffered the consequences of his choice.

  “Oh, aye, and is that to be my lot as well? Tae be going all over abusive and deranged? Will poor old Gramps face the same fate?”

  “Not all Alphas go bad the way Lord Woolsey went bad. He already had the tendencies. It’s simply that when he was sane, he acted with the consent of his partners. Take comfort, my lady—most Alphas die before the opportunity arises.”

  “Oh, aye, much obliged I’m sure. Verra comforting, that is. What now, Professor?”

  “Well, in an odd way, I am glad it is known. But Lord Maccon will never forgive me or trust me again. I take it you wrote him the details?”

  “Oh, aye.”

  “Poor Lady Maccon. She didn’t want to keep my secret. Now she will have to handle Conall finding out.”

  “You telling me you’re prepared to make reparations?” Lady Kingair looked less angry and more contemplative, exami
ning Professor Lyall through half-lidded eyes.

  Biffy, wary of that look, leaned in against his Beta. Relishing the intimacy, feeling oddly proprietary.

  Professor Lyall squeezed his shoulder reassuringly. “Of course.”

  “And you ken what I will want of you?”

  The Beta nodded, looking resigned.

  Lady Kingair took a deep breath and looked down her nose at the slight, sandy-haired gentleman. And Professor Lyall was still a gentleman, Biffy realized, even without a stitch of clothing, lying on the floor of a stockroom.

  “I’m thinking Kingair’s needing a Beta right about now.”

  “No!” Biffy couldn’t help the exclamation. He reeled away from Lyall, turning so that he faced him fully.

  Professor Lyall only nodded.

  “And you, for all yon manipulations, are one of the best. Possibly because of them.”

  Professor Lyall nodded again.

  “Oh, no,” Biffy cried. “You can’t abandon us! What will we do without you?”

  Professor Lyall only looked at him with a little smile. “Oh, now, Biffy, I think you will do very well.”

  “Me!” squeaked Biffy.

  “Of course. You have the makings of an excellent Beta.”

  “But I… I…,” Biffy stuttered.

  Lady Kingair nodded. “That’ll do nicely. Now dinna worry, pup, we won’t keep him for all time—only until we find someone better.”

  “There is no one better,” said Biffy with absolute confidence.

  They were interrupted by a knock on the door. Haverbink stuck his head in without being summoned.

  “Didn’t I order you to stay away?” asked Professor Lyall placidly.

  “Yes, sir, but it was so quiet I wanted to make certain you were all still alive.”

  “As you see. And?”

  “And a massive gilt carriage has just pulled up out front. Lord Akeldama sent it with his compliments.” Haverbink produced a mauve-colored scrap of paper. Lilac scent wafted into the room. “Said you would need a nice dark ride back home to get some sleep, and what were you fluffy darlings all doing still out and about?”

 

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