She finally opens her eyes and looks up at me. I feel like she’s waiting for my reaction. Like she somehow needs me to confirm what just happened between us.
“That was amazing. I have never felt anything like that. Have you?” I’m really asking because I’ve never kissed a girl and felt what I just felt before.
“No.” I look down at her, believing that we both found something new, something we’ve never had before. And I don’t want to lose it. She tilts her head to the side and says the most adorable thing.
“Why did we wait so long to do that?”
“I think it had something to do with this very stubborn girl standing in front of me. I could be wrong, but as I recall I wanted to go out with her from the first moment we met.”
“I don’t remember that. Not even a little.”
I can’t help but laugh. If I’m being honest, it was probably the best decision she could have made for us. Being friends, building a true connection before adding in anything romantic has lead us to this point. A place where I feel so connected to her that I can’t imagine it any other way.
Chapter Fifteen
On the drive back to town, Maggie’s phone rings. She answers it without looking, sounding happy and cheerful. A split second later, she starts moving away from me and her whole body turns into a tense ball of nervous energy. She hangs up the phone quickly after only saying two words.
“I gotta get home. Sorry.”
“Is everything okay?”
“I don’t know. I just have to get home right now.”
She won’t look at me. She just keeps staring at her hands, twisting her fingers so hard I think she might tear her skin off if she doesn’t stop. The second we pull into my driveway, she hops out to run in the house and get her things. I’ve never seen her like this before. She’s usually so good at hiding her anxiety, her fear. I feel absolutely, positively useless. How can I take her home when she’s clearly terrified? She’s back in the truck in no time at all. A few minutes later, we pull over at the park down the street from her house so she can get out. I don’t know what to say to her. I almost say nothing but then she looks at me.
“Magnolia, is everything alright? Do you want to go home? I can help you. Anything you need, I will do for you. Anything.” She pauses, watching me carefully but then I lose her.
“Vincent please. I can’t do this right now. I have to go. I will text you later.”
Son of a bitch. I hope I didn’t push her too far. We just got to the place we’re meant to be, I can’t lose her now but I don’t know what to do. I didn’t mean to add more stress by pressuring her to be honest with me. I have no clue what it’s like for her inside that house and it’s driving me crazy. How badly does she get hurt, to what extreme is the abuse? I wish she would just talk to me so I could know.
I shouldn’t be doing what I’m doing right now but I don’t care. I drive my truck to the front of Maggie’s house, roll down all the windows and wait. I wait for something, anything that would be an indication of an unsafe environment. I listen closely, trying to hear screaming or the sound of someone getting knocked around. I even turn the engine off to hear better. Instead, I hear silence. I guess that’s a good sign. But why would Maggie be so upset about coming home if there wasn’t a reason? I wait it out another twenty minutes before giving up and heading home. I don’t want to make things worse by getting seen by her mother, so I leave.
An hour later and still no word from Maggie. I break down and send her a text praying that she responds. Because if she doesn’t, I might just lose my mind. Within seconds I hear my phone ding. Not exactly what I was looking for but it will have to do. Her reply is short but she promises she is fine. I really don’t know what to do. After pacing the living room about a hundred times, I get in the Mustang and head to my mom’s house. Maybe she can help.
The sound of the engine is a dead giveaway that I’m outside. Before I even get out of the car, my mom comes out onto the front porch.
“Hello Vincent. This is a nice surprise.” She says as I walk up the long driveway.
“Hi mom. Do you mind if we sit outside and talk? I don’t want Joey to overhear anything.”
“Of course. What’s wrong, Mijo?”
“I’m worried about Maggie.”
“Why?”
“Remember that I told you I thought something was going on at her house? That she had a rough home life?”
“Yes, I remember.”
“Well, she still hasn’t told me anything but I’ve seen signs. Little marks or bruises that could be from someone smacking her around. Earlier today she seemed terrified to go home. I didn’t know what to do and she wouldn’t open up to me. I swore to myself that I wouldn’t talk to anyone about it until I heard it from her but I had to talk to someone.”
“Oh, Vincent. I’m so sorry your friend is going through something so difficult. I know it has to be hard on you to stand by and watch.”
“I feel helpless. I don’t know what else to do. I told her that I would help her, that I’m here for her if she needs anything, anything at all but I couldn’t break through the wall she’s built around her secret.”
“Give her time. I don’t have any idea what it would be like to live in a home where you don’t feel loved and cared for but I can imagine it’s very difficult. You don’t know for sure what is going on behind closed doors and you shouldn’t make assumptions. I see your concern for her but you have to do what Maggie wants. Take her lead on this. She knows her mother better than anyone. All you can do right now is be supportive. Be a friend to her and be there if and when she wants your help.”
“Is that really all I can do? There has to be other options.”
“At this point, I’m afraid there isn’t much else that can be done. Clearly she doesn’t want to report the abuse or she would have by now. We don’t even know what exactly is happening. I don’t doubt that your conclusion may be right, but until Maggie confirms it, you have no evidence. Have you talked to any of her friends about this?”
“She doesn’t have any close friends except for one, and yes I’ve talked to her about it. She makes the entire situation seem hopeless. Like we have no choice. If I push too hard, demand the truth from her, I might lose her. Her friend told me it happened to her when she tried to help her. She put up a wall, created distance from her friend. I think it’s her defense mechanism. Her way of trying not to get too close to anyone. But Amanda, her best friend, didn’t give up. She has stuck by her side all these years.”
“I wish I had the answers for you, Mijo. The best advice I can give is to take her lead. Let her be the one to come to you. This is a very delicate situation that neither of us know anything about. We can’t possibly understand what Maggie is thinking or feeling. Just be ready when she does finally open up. If you two are as close as it sounds, she’ll let you in.”
“You really think so?”
“I do. I’m sorry this is happening to her. And I’m sorry I don’t know what to do either. It’s a very tough situation.”
“You have helped. Just by talking to me. Thanks, Mom.”
“I’m always here for you, Vincent. I always have been and I always will be.”
I hug my mother a little tighter and a little longer than usual because I appreciate her more than I could have ever imagined. I’m so blessed to have this woman in my life. I can only hope I never take that for granted again.
I just walk in the door when I hear a faint knock. I immediately turn around and open it hoping it’s Maggie. I’m not disappointed. I have no idea why she’s here or what she needs and I don’t care right now. I’m just so happy she’s in one piece. I lose my mind for a second, wrapping my arms securely around her tiny body before realizing she could be injured. I let go and apologize. But her mask is firmly in place. She looks at me like I’m crazy for thinking she might be hurt.
I won’t do this anymore with her. I won’t play dumb and pretend nothing is going on. I tell her that I know her
well enough to know that something is happening to her. And then all my concern turns to anger. I started examining her the minute I let her go, looking for any sign that she was hurt. It’s now that I notice a cut on her forehead near her hairline.
“Did she do that to you?” I rub her wound as softly as I can, trying to determine how deep the cut is and if she needs stitches. She pulls my hand into hers, speaking softly.
“Let’s go for a walk.”
The next twenty-five minutes change everything. After all this time together, she finally lets down her wall. Her defense, her coping mechanism. She did the most difficult thing in the entire world, she let me in. I will be eternally grateful that she trusts me enough to share what her life is like at home. The downfall? There is no way to solve it, that is, no way that Maggie will accept. She won’t report her mother and she feels like she has no other option. I do make one promise that I have no intention of breaking. If that woman puts her hands on her again, I will find a way to get her out even if that means her mother going to jail.
After pouring her guts out to me and not being able to come to a compromise, she asks that we not discuss it anymore. I never give her my answer. Instead, I give her something I know she needs. Comfort. I hold her in my arms, kissing her forehead and praying this is helping in some small way.
*****
We see each other a few times over the next week but it’s like there is an elephant in the room. An awkwardness that wasn’t there before. I can’t ignore what’s going on with her mother but I also can’t interfere. Not unless I’m given a reason. So for now, I call, I text, I show-up every chance I have to make sure she is safe. I know it isn’t much, but unfortunately it’s all she will let me do. God, she is so stubborn.
Today is her actual birthday and other than seeing her this morning, it looks like I won’t get to spend any time with her. Her mother showed up out of nowhere to pick her up from school. Like she even gives a damn about Maggie. I never thought I could actually hate another human being but the idea that someone could hurt their own child has me boiling with anger. It killed me to let her go with her mom today, but what choice did I have. I almost threw up in my mouth when I sent her a text message telling her that I hoped she had a nice time with her mother. I’m not sure how much longer I can go on pretending that everything’s fine.
Chapter Sixteen
Tommy and I decided pizza was the best option for dinner and plan to watch some new action flick later. All of a sudden, I hear Maggie’s voice. I almost drop my slice of pepperoni on the kitchen floor. Anxiety rings through every inch of my body. She’s supposed to be visiting her Grandpa. What in the hell happened to her that she didn’t make it to his house? Then I really listen to her voice and hear nothing but excitement. That’s when I look down into her gorgeous brown eyes that are dancing with mischief as she takes a huge bite out of my pizza.
“That’s good. Can I have a piece?”
Relief washes over me, which then turns to laughter. God, I love this girl. She tells me how her Grandpa got her a car for her birthday. I can’t help my own elation because now she has a way to escape. I don’t mention that thought to her but it’s so hard not to think about what she endures at home and how this could impact her life for the better.
Tommy and I pile in to go for a ride after checking out her new car. He is the one who brings up Amanda, which kind of surprises me. Maggie gives me a knowing glance that almost looks guilty. I squeeze her hand to reassure her that I totally agree with her choice to come to me first. It’s hard to balance friends and a new relationship but it gives me so much pleasure to know I’ve become top on her list. That is until we pull up to Amanda’s house and I’m forced to deal with her wrath. To my surprise, she doesn’t seem irate, just a little agitated.
“Ok buddy. You are sooo getting in the backseat. I’m riding shotgun! That’s your punishment for making me second on Maggie’s list.”
I don’t argue. If that’s all she has for me, I’ll take it. We drive around until Amanda has to be home. I absolutely expect to be dropped off first so Maggie can go back to Amanda’s house with her. Anticipation, hope and desire start to rise up in my chest at the idea of getting to spend the night with Maggie. Once Tommy heads inside, I can see the hesitation in her movements. She isn’t sure what to do, so I make it easy on her. I open her door and smile so wide that she has no doubt what I want.
We head straight back to my bedroom. I’ve never been so relieved not to see Tommy. I don’t need him making any unnecessary comments that could force her to change her mind. She goes to my desk before doing anything else, to look over some new plans I drew up. The look of pride I see on her face warms my heart. Her encouragement has brought out a side of determination I didn’t know I had. She wants to help me succeed. She plans to help compile some marketing pamphlets for my customers once spring hits.
I can’t resist her any longer. I’ve missed her so much. I walk up behind her, wrapping my arms tightly around her waist. She tilts her neck slightly, giving me access to the silky skin I crave. I start to nibble my way to her ear but before I can really get a taste, she turns quickly, saying something about me. Before I can respond, her lips are forcefully on mine. She feels absolutely intoxicating. The way we move together is like nothing I’ve ever had before. Her touch is like life to me. Igniting every desire I’ve ever had for her. I have to get things under control before I lose it. I start to calmly give her soft kisses on her lips and then her cheek, until I finally end with a kiss to the top of her head. I gently pull her towards the bed but speak up before she gets the wrong idea.
“Do you want me to sleep on the couch? I don’t mind. I want you to be comfortable.”
“No. I want to sleep in here, with you. But I want to be clear. I’m not ready to have sex. That’s a big step and we haven’t been going out very long. I just like being near you. Does that make sense?”
It makes more sense than she could ever know. I love just being near her too. I don’t need to have sex with her to be intimate. We don’t need that step to become more to each other. I’m kind of glad she feels the same way. After changing and getting ready for bed, I crawl in beside her.
“I’m so glad you are here with me Maggie. You make me feel at ease. It’s nice. I’ve never felt this with anyone else before. Is it crazy to be dating your best friend?”
“I don’t think so. I think it’s perfect.”
I couldn’t have said it better. Maybe this is how all great love stories begin. With friendship. Maggie falls asleep pretty quickly, so I allow myself as much time as I need to memorize every tiny feature in her beautiful face. I wish she didn’t have to go back to her house. Ever.
*****
The next day is spent having breakfast with Amanda and Tommy. Then I soak up as much of Maggie as I can before she has to go home. I drag it out as long as possible but we can’t escape the inevitable. I’m trying to stay positive, to look at it from Maggie’s perspective. Only seven more months until she graduates. But what does that mean? Is she going to leave? Take off to some college in another state? I push those thoughts far away for now. One problem at a time.
It guts me every time I watch her leave. Having her own car now gives me just a tiny bit of reprieve but not nearly the reassurance I’d like. A part of my heart leaves with her because I feel like we are forever connected. As I watch the love of my life drive away, I can’t help the aching empty feeling whenever she isn’t around. God, I’m pathetic.
I slowly walk back into the house to get ready for another day of appointments. I’m trying to set up as many driveways and parking lots to plow this winter as I can. At least I’ve been able to stay busy with putting down fall and winter treatments on everyone’s lawns. Hopefully by next year, I can bring Tommy on board if I can get enough business through plowing. He already has a truck. We just have to save up enough for a second plow. I map out my route for the morning, checking all the appointments and what part of town I’ll be in at wha
t times. It’s a full day but I like it that way. It keeps my mind off Maggie. Well, that’s not really true but it’s a good distraction.
After dozing off in front of the TV and being nudged awake by Tommy one too many times, I head back to my bedroom. It just doesn’t feel the same without her here. But I also need sleep. I have to get up at six in the morning if I’m going to get to every customer. Once my head hits the pillow, I’m out cold.
The next morning flies by. That is until I get a phone call from Amanda. At first, I think nothing of it. Her and Tommy seem to be talking more and I think maybe she’s trying to find him. But my heart drops when I hear the first words out of her mouth.
“Have you seen Maggie today?” I pull the phone away from my ear so I can check the time. It’s almost nine in the morning. Where the hell is she?
“No.” I barely have enough breath to get the word from my throat to my mouth. Panic overrides every single cell in my body.
“Vincent, please don’t freak out. Stay calm and don’t do anything stupid. I’m sure she’s fine. She was supposed to pick me up this morning but when she didn’t show, I just assumed she was with you. But now I’m at school and she isn’t here.”
“Don’t freak out? Are you kidding me? The last time this happened we didn’t see her for three days!” I hear a long sigh on the other end of the phone.
“I know. But I don’t know what to do.”
“What do you normally do?”
“I wait for her phone call. She always calls, Vince.”
“And what if she can’t call. What are we supposed to do then? I’m going over there. I’m going to check on her. If that woman hurt her, I will call the police this time. I can’t do this anymore.”
Sublime Forgiveness (Sublime Series Book 3) Page 10
