“I know. I’m just messing with you. Thanks for everything. This wouldn’t be possible if you weren’t helping with the business.”
It’s all true. I wouldn’t be doing any of this if it wasn’t for my family and friends. I want to show Maggie just how much I’ve changed. That I want what she wants. It just took me losing her to figure it out.
*****
The summer runs from one month into the next. Tommy and I are killing ourselves trying to save up as much as possible for winter and my inevitable departure. We’ve been putting in twelve to fourteen hour days for almost three months now. I need something to hang on to. Something to keep me going. Some kind of good news. I just finished showering after another long day. I sit down at my desk and decide now is as good as any to open the letter from the University of Michigan. I was surprised to get anything else from them before I complete another round of classes. Please let it be good news.
After reading the words several times, I can’t help the joy I feel because I get to start in January. As long as I keep my grades up, they’ve decided to accept me. I’m that much closer to getting back to Maggie. To making this right. Tommy and Amanda are out tonight, so I head over to my mom’s. I need to share this news with someone.
Of course she hears the roar of the engine pull into her driveway before I’m even out of the car. She steps out on the front porch and before I can contain my excitement any longer, I run up the stairs and pick her up in a huge bear hug.
“I did it mom. I got in. I’m going to the University of Michigan.”
“That’s amazing, Vincent. I’m so proud of you! I knew you could do it!” I gently place my mom back down on the ground, looking away as I ask the only question I desperately need an answer to.
“So, have you talked to her recently?”
“As a matter of fact, I talked to her earlier tonight. She called to tell me about her classes. She seems pretty excited to be starting the marketing program.”
“Did you happen to talk about anything else?”
“I know you want to know if she’s met someone but I really hate asking about her personal life outside of what she tells me willingly. I did ask for you because I hate to see you hurting and she said no. But only after telling me she wasn’t comfortable talking about it. Don’t expect me to ask again.”
“Yes ma’am.”
Relief floods my entire body. She still hasn’t met anyone. I’m sure all her focus has been on school. I can’t help but feel a little more confident knowing that she didn’t want to talk about her personal life, yet she still answered the question. It gives me hope that it isn’t too late. That maybe she wanted me to know she isn’t seeing someone.
“I’ve been at work all day and I’m exhausted. I’m going to head home. I just wanted you to hear the good news.”
“Thank you for driving all the way over to tell me you are going off to college. My Vincent. Your father would be so proud.” She reaches up and strokes the side of my face gently as the pride swells in her eyes.
“Thanks mom. I love you.”
“I love you too, Mijo.”
When I pull up back at my place, I see Tommy’s truck in the driveway. It seems a little early for him to be home but he must be as tired as I am. When I walk in the front door, I find him alone on the sofa. That seems odd but I shrug it off.
“Hey, man. Guess what?”
“What?”
“I got in to the University of Michigan for Spring.”
“That’s great! I’m really happy for you.”
“Everything okay? You seem a little upset.”
“Just a fight with Amanda. Nothing I want to talk about. But can I ask you a question?”
“Sure. Anything.”
“What if it’s too late? I mean, have you thought about that possibility. Like what if she can’t forgive you or what if she’s seeing someone else. Then what would you do?”
“I can’t think like that. I can’t even begin to think that all of this would be for nothing. After everything we’ve been through, I just can’t picture it going any other way.”
“I guess. I don’t want to bring you down. I’m really happy for you. I’m going to head to bed.”
“Okay. You sure you don’t want to talk?”
“Positive.”
Just like when we were younger. When Tommy says he doesn’t want to talk, it’s best to leave him alone. It must have been some fight because I don’t see Amanda around for the next several weeks. I tried one more time to talk to Tommy about it but he refused. I thought about reaching out to Amanda but that felt like a betrayal to Tommy. As much as we’ve become friends, Tommy will always come first.
*****
I’ve managed to stay as busy as possible. The anxiety is building each day I get closer to leaving Milford. It’s not just the idea of finally seeing Maggie again but the thought of leaving a town I’ve lived in my entire life. I’ve never even been outside of the state. Thanksgiving is next week and instead of looking forward to the time off from school, I’m dreading it. It helps keep my mind occupied.
I’m standing at the kitchen sink at my mom’s house, finishing up the dishes from Friday night dinner. Tommy left early to go talk things out with Amanda. Something major must of happened with them because it’s been weeks since she’s been to our place. Joey went over to Keri’s after dinner and I said I would stay and help clean up. Just as I’m about to finish, the phone rings.
“Maggie! It’s so good to hear your voice! How are things in Michigan?”
My heart stops beating, the blood flows out of my veins and my ears turn ultrasonic. I’ve never been here when she’s called. My mom sits down at the kitchen table so I join her. She gives me one small glance but then continues on as if I’m not even here. I listen intently, trying to hear every word out of her mouth. God, her voice sounds incredible. I’ve missed it more than I thought possible. She sounds…happy. I listen carefully, loving her enthusiasm over one of her classes. She’s talking about a project she had to present this morning. When I hear her grade, the smile on my face says it all. I’m so damn proud of her. I knew she could do it.
They talk about everything from school to her roommate. I’ve haven’t ever gotten this much information about her life. I could kiss my mother right now for not making me leave or ending the call quickly with her. I think she knows I needed this. I needed to feel connected to her again. Unfortunately, the whole being on cloud nine thing doesn’t last. My mom asks her about Thanksgiving and I hear her say she’s going to Florida with a friend. At first, I just assume she’s going with another girl. Until she says some guy’s name. I immediately feel sick to my stomach.
I get up from the table, walking away before I hear something else that could bring me down even further. After a few more minutes, the conversation is over. My mom walks into the living room where I’ve been pacing the last ten minutes.
“Vincent, I know you’re upset but she said they’re just friends.”
“Just friends? Who in the hell goes on a trip with a guy if they’re just friends?” I don’t mean to yell at my mom. I’m just so angry. Mostly at myself.
“I understand why this is hurting you but you made your decision last year knowing this was a possibility. It’s been over a year, Vincent. What did you expect?”
“I know, I know. It’s just that I’m so close to being there. To fighting for her. I don’t need another obstacle in the way.”
“What you’ve done in the past year has shown me that nothing can stand in your way when you are determined. Trust Maggie and what she says. They are just friends. There is still hope for both of you.”
“I guess. What kind of name is Asher anyway?” My mom just laughs and shakes her head before walking back to the kitchen. I decide that’s my queue to head home.
The next week drags by as I wait for Thanksgiving day. It’s the only thing I have to look forward to in the immediate future. I’ve done everything possible in the last week no
t to think about Maggie frolicking around in the sand with that punk ass kid Asher. I put down all the winter treatments on the lawns, scheduled a few more consultations for landscaping and worked on sketches but nothing seems to be working. It doesn’t help that Tommy and Amanda are trying to work through something, so whenever they’re around, they’re locked away in his room.
I’ve been at my mom’s house every night this week hoping and praying that Maggie would call. Then hoping she wouldn’t call because I don’t know if I really want to know what’s going on in Florida. This is pure agony. I just want to be there already. I wish I could pick up and leave now but I can’t. My scholarship is for January and since that includes dorm housing, I would have nowhere to stay even if I did go. My mom keeps telling me to be patient. Easier said than done.
I’ve done everything possible to help out today. Joey and Keri have done nothing but sit around hugging, kissing and holding hands. It makes me want to throw up because I miss that. I miss Maggie. Why hasn’t she called? Tommy shows up right before it’s time to eat with Amanda by his side. They’re all lovey–dovey and shit. I try my best to make it through dinner with at least some semblance of gratitude. I think I failed. I start cleaning up the kitchen the minute everyone is finished, ready to get the hell out of here and away from the happy couples.
The phone finally rings, making me jump a little. My mom answers, saying the only name I want to hear. Maggie. The call is very brief so I’m left feeling even more disappointment. I finish up as fast as possible and rush out the door without saying good-bye to a single person. I hop in the Mustang and head to the only place that might make me feel slightly better.
Twenty minutes later, I’m regretting the fact that I didn’t stop at home to get my truck. This car is way too low for the rough terrain of the field leading to the creek. Add in the fact that it’s almost pitch black outside and this might not have been the best idea. I park the car, pull out a flashlight from the glove box and head for the tree line. It takes me twice as long to reach the water because I can’t see more than a few feet in front of me. I feel like an idiot. But the minute I hear the water rushing over the smooth rocks, peace fills my heart.
I break through to the other side where the smell of fresh water, wet leaves on the ground and nature fill my lungs. I turn the flashlight off after finding one of my favorite rocks. My eyes start to adjust slightly to the darkness, allowing me to see my immediate surroundings. I sit and breath in and out for several minutes. My head starts to clear of all the jealousy and anger. I did this. I walked away from her. She has every right to be happy. Even if that isn’t with me.
I’m so glad she has my mom in her life. Thinking back to both the conversations I overheard, it warms my heart remembering the two of them sharing their love for each other. I guess I hadn’t realized how close they’ve become. My resolve starts to set in firmly that I will be a part of Maggie’s life in some way or another. If she’s starting to move on after all this time, maybe we can at least be friends. That’s how we began so maybe that’s where we pick back up.
Chapter Twenty-Five
I’m finally here. I made it. Michigan actually reminds me a lot of Ohio. Everything is frozen over from all the ice and snow. To me, it looks pretty much the same. It’s just a couple of days before New Year’s Eve. Based on school policy, I’m allowed to enter the dorms today even though it’s still winter break. I wanted to get here early to get a feel for the campus. Amanda told me that Maggie was coming home for Christmas and New Year, which almost caused me to change my mind about arriving early. But ultimately I decided it would be best to surprise her here. To show her in person all my hard work and dedication.
Tommy followed me up in his truck more for moral support than actual heavy lifting considering I have very little to unload. We start to unpack the duffel bag and the two boxes we carried in from the car. Joey, Keri, Tommy and my mom had a huge surprise for me on Christmas morning. They didn’t buy anything for anyone else this year. Instead, they bought me all the things I would need for my dorm room. Joey even made me return the gift I got him, telling me to add the money to whatever else I needed. They made this year bearable. My anxiety has been through the roof wondering what’s going on between Maggie and that Asher kid.
I can breathe a little easier now that I’m actually here. Amanda promised to text me when Maggie is on her way back. I gave my mom a quick phone call, letting her know I arrived safely. Tommy has to head back tomorrow but first we need to discuss a few more business points. I’m crossing my fingers that everything runs smoothly in my absence.
“So college boy, what now?”
“Let’s take a look around. Maybe find a bar with a pool table?”
“Sounds good to me. Are you nervous about seeing Maggie?”
“Hell yes. I have no clue how she’s going to react but I’m bracing myself for the worst.”
“I’m kind of nervous about seeing her too. Amanda is throwing a New Year’s Eve party and insisted I come. Sorry, it kind of feels weird going without you when Maggie will be there. Plus, I heard that Asher kid is with them.”
“What? Why in the hell is he in Milford?”
“No clue. Amanda just wanted to give me the heads up and warn me that if I pummel the guy, she would never forgive me.”
“Well, that’s a bummer.”
“If you want me to kick his ass, I totally will.”
“I would love it. But I don’t think that will help my cause. Maggie probably wouldn’t appreciate her ‘friend’ getting punched in the face.”
“True.”
“Let’s get out of this tiny room. I’m going to be stuck here for the next five months, I don’t need to be here now.”
We head out of the dorms, walking around campus until our feet go numb and we lose all feeling in our fingers. We find the closest bar, darting inside quickly to escape the frigid air. There’s a pool table in the back and the place is pretty empty. Most of the students don’t come back until after New Year’s.
“Damn, dude. I thought Ohio was cold.”
“Tell me about it. That wind will cut right through your skin.”
“You rack em’ up and I’ll get the beers.”
“Are you scared if I don’t let you break, you’ll never get another chance to sink a ball?”
“Whatever, Vinny. I’ll wipe the floor with you. Don’t forget who you’re talking to. I can make any shot, any time, any place.”
“Don’t get too cocky. My skills have improved immensely since we last played.”
“You mean since last week? Yeah, we’ll see funny boy.”
After ten games of pool, we’re tied. We’re equally talented when it comes to the wielding of a pool stick. Tommy has improved over the last year. We decide to call a truce and head back to the dorm. Since my roommate won’t be here until Monday, Tommy crashes on the tiny twin bed next to mine. Neither of us really fit on the mattresses but it’s better than nothing.
Tommy heads back after breakfast. He seems to have a good grasp on the business. Besides, I’m always just a phone call away if he needs anything. After I’m sure he’s on the road, I decide now is as good of a time as any to see where Maggie is living. Amanda gave me her address, fully aware of the ramifications if things go badly. It only ends up being about a fifteen-minute walk from the dorm to her front door. The apartment building looks nice enough. Knowing she’s still in Milford, I turn back, practically running to the warmth of the dorms.
Later that night, I give my mom a call. I wasn’t expecting the conversation to lift my mood any or take away the anxiety about seeing Maggie again, but it did.
“Hi mom.”
“Hello, Vincent. How is everything?”
“It’s good. The dorms are tiny but at least they’re warm. How is it a place that is only a few more hours north feels so much colder?”
“I’m sure you’ll get used to it. Listen, Maggie came to see me last night.”
I hold my breath, wai
ting to hear the worst news of my life. That her and that Asher kid are officially dating.
“Vincent, I think you did the right thing. I think fighting for Maggie and going to Michigan was the right decision. She hasn’t moved past what the two of you had. I saw a deep sadness in her eyes when she talked about you. She didn’t say much, but it was enough to betray her true feelings.”
“Really?” I almost choke on my words. There hasn’t been a day that’s gone by that I haven’t wondered if I was doing the right thing. Coming all the way to Michigan to win her back. But hearing the words from my mother gives me the encouragement I need.
“I don’t want to interfere. She may take some time forgiving you, so be prepared. Just give her time to adjust to the idea of you being there. That you came for her. I know her heart, Mijo, she still loves you.”
Those words just solidified everything I’ve been feeling. I still love her. Just as much as the day she left. It feels inconceivable to know she feels the same way. The hard part is getting her to admit it. I’m positive she’s still the same stubborn girl. Some things never change.
*****
Maybe coming up here so early wasn’t such a good idea. It’s been three days of waiting for Maggie to get back. Three whole days of crawling out of my skin with apprehension. I finally get a text from Amanda saying she’s home. Instead of heading straight to her apartment, I pace back and forth trying to remember everything I want to say. After about thirty minutes, I give up.
“Fuck it. It’s now or never.”
I make the fifteen-minute walk in just under ten, anxious to see her again. I walk up to the door, reconsidering the timing when I hear laughter. God, she sounds amazing. I’ve missed that laugh. I knock softly at first but then more forcefully when I don’t get a response. I have to do this now because I don’t want her to see me on campus and get freaked out. She opens the door, smiling brightly until her eyes connect with mine.
She doesn’t say a single word. The expression on her face is full of shock. She looks so beautiful. I desperately want to wrap her in my arms while kissing her senseless. She takes her time looking me up and down. It reminds me of the way she used to look at me. There is no shame in her actions. I think she’s still trying to figure out if I’m real or just her imagination. Her eyes finally find their way back to mine and I see the confusion. The hurt, the pain and the frustration she feels toward me are palpable. I want to explain. I want to tell her everything but the only thing that comes out of my mouth is her name.
Sublime Forgiveness (Sublime Series Book 3) Page 16
