I felt the tears of frustration fall. “I hate you. I hate you!”
He slammed my door closed, taking my phone with him.
CHAPTER SIX
Liam
I decided to major in finance because I had no idea what else to pick. Now I wished I picked something more interesting. But then again, not much interested me anymore.
I rested my body the week after the fight. There were times when I wanted to push myself past my limitations, just to let myself fall. But something always held me back. I had to keep pushing forward. I had to let it go.
I thought about seeing a specialist. I had no one to talk to, and bottling it inside wasn’t good. The only release I had was when I was fighting someone. And that wasn’t healthy.
I met the guys for a basketball game. We headed to the courts at the local high school and started a game. As the hour passed, more people showed up. Scotty arrived and shook my hand.
“Don’t pop the ball, alright?” he said with a smile.
“I’ll try.”
Scotty was a cool guy. I didn’t know him very well but he was easy-going. He had a class with Bran, psychology, and they weren’t productive in class. They usually rated the hotness of the girls in class then shared it with the rest of us, saying what features they preferred.
“She’s gotta be hot,” Bran said. “If she’s not, I’m not wasting my time.”
Scotty shrugged. “I hate it when they talk too much. I like quiet girls.”
I didn’t have any preferences. They all looked the same to me.
“You guys are pigs,” Adriana said. She made her shot then dribbled the ball. She wasn’t very good at the game, but she tried to pretend she was. I knew she was just trying to catch my eye. But I wasn’t buying it. I didn’t fuck with my friends.
“What about you?” Adriana asked. “What do you look for, Liam?” She passed me the ball.
I made the shot then retrieved it. “I don’t care.”
“You don’t care?” she asked incredulously. “There are no features you find particularly attractive?”
“All women are beautiful. Why strip them down and stereotype them?”
Bran laughed. “Yeah right. You’re the biggest manwhore out of all of us.”
“But I’m not a jerk to women you don’t deem to be attractive enough,” I said. “I treat all women with respect. If they walk away after I tell them what I want, I don’t chase them or make them feel low because of it.”
Adriana’s eyes shined bright with affection.
Damn, I shouldn’t have said that. I didn’t want anyone to get close to me. “I mean, all women are bitches…”
She rolled her eyes then sat on the park bench.
Hot and sweaty after the game, we drank our water bottles then stretched our sore muscles.
“Wanna watch the game?” Bran asked. “It comes on soon.”
“Sure,” I said. “Your place?”
Bran shook his head. “Our TV is out. Someone knocked it over when they were drunk.” He rolled his eyes. “I hate roommates.”
I could invite them to my place, but I hardly ever did that. I liked my own space. I didn’t want anyone to invade it.
“What about your place, Scotty?” Bran asked.
Scotty was quiet for a moment. “Umm…I’d have to check.”
“You’d have to check?” Bran asked incredulously. “You live with your mom?”
“No,” he said immediately. “But my roommate owns the house. I have to check with her.”
He lives with a girl?
Scotty walked away then made the call. When he came back, he nodded. “Let’s head to my place.”
“Cool,” Bran said. “We’ll get the beer and pizza on the way.”
When we arrived at the house, I was surprised how nice it was. It was small, but secluded. It had flowerbeds around the porch, and flowers were planted everywhere. The yard was perfectly kept. It was fifteen minutes from campus, so it was a nice haven.
“You live here?” I asked in surprise.
“Yep.”
He walked to the front door and unlocked it. “Home sweet home.”
The living room was spacious with a large TV. Everything was spotless. I could see my reflection in the floorboards. The kitchen was large and had an island. It didn’t look like a guy lived here. It was too clean for that.
We sat on the couches and placed the food on every inch of the table. Scotty grabbed the remote and turned on the TV. We laid back and watched the game, eating pizza and hot wings. I ate a few pieces even though I knew I shouldn’t. I tried to eat healthy as often as possible.
“Where’s your roommate?” Bran asked.
“She’s in her room,” Scotty answered.
“Is she hot?” Bran asked.
“Don’t go there.” He voice cut through the air with pure hostility. “Leave her alone. I meant it.”
Damn, Scotty had a dark side to him.
“Are you fucking her?” Bran asked.
“No,” he said immediately. “It’s not like that.”
Then how was it?
Bran looked down the hallway and stared at the closed doors. “Is she going to say hi…?”
“She’s…shy.”
I knew I shouldn’t be interested but I was. This girl seemed intent on hiding from the world. And I wanted to know why.
“We don’t bite,” Bran said. “She got any cute friends?”
Scotty left the living room and walked down the hall. We all looked at each other, waiting for the appearance of this mysterious roommate. Scotty never talked about her. I didn’t even know her name.
He was gone for a long time. He missed the first quarter because he was in her bedroom for so long.
Scotty finally walked down the hallway, the girl behind him.
“This is Keira,” Scotty said. “Now we can settle your curiosity.”
She waved at us. “Hi,” she said nervously.
I stared at her for a long time, my eyes lingering on her face. She had a strong curve to her lips, making them naturally pull up into a slight smile. She had brilliant green eyes. I didn’t even need to be close to her to see how bright they were. Her skin was fair and unblemished. Not a freckle or acne scar was noticeable. She almost seemed unreal.
She wore shorts and a t-shirt. Her thighs were toned and muscular. I knew she was athletic. I wondered what she did for exercise. Did she run? Did she do weight training? Did she play a sport?
Why the hell did I care?
Her toenails were painted yellow. They reminded me of the flowers in her front yard. Her skin was dark and sun-kissed. She spent time outside, or she was naturally blessed with darker skin. She was thin, but had lean muscles in the right places. I couldn’t tell what her stomach looked like because her shirt was baggy, but I knew her stomach was flat. Her arms were cut, but not strongly. She had a leaned and toned body, my ideal body type for a woman. I didn’t like scrawny or skinny women. This girl was perfect.
But Scotty made it clear she was off limits. I wondered why. If he wasn’t tapping her, why did he care?
Scotty introduced all the guys. Keira was polite to all of us, but she couldn’t make eye contact for long. After a moment, she looked down. The intensity was too much for her, apparently.
Scotty sat down and pulled her a long with him. She sat extremely close to him, closer than platonic friends normally sat. He didn’t touch her, but it was odd. She pulled her knees to her chest then wrapped her arms around them, making herself as small as possible.
When I finally pulled my eyes away from her, I felt Adriana glare at me. I met her gaze and saw the jealousy in her eyes. She wasn’t happy. I didn’t care because I didn’t owe her anything. I never expressed any interest in her. She’d get over it.
Keira screamed at the ref when he called a ridiculous foul. All the guys looked at her with wide eyes, not expecting her to be so involved in the game. Adriana watched sports with us but I knew she had no idea what was going
on. Keira screamed again when her team scored.
Instead of watching the game, I started to watch her. She seemed to loosen up sitting next to Scotty. He boxed her against the wall so no one could come near her. He acted like a watchdog. I watched her side profile and examined her slender neck. It was smooth and petite. I imagined her wearing a strapless dress with a golden necklace. It was a weird thought. I wasn’t sure why I had it.
She turned her head and looked at me.
Shit, she caught me staring at her.
I quickly looked away and tried to act like I wasn’t imagining her wearing jewelry.
I saw her turn away out of the corner of my peripheral vision. We both seemed to be embarrassed for being caught. At least it was mutual.
When the game was over, we talked tactics.
Keira gave her input about the game, pinning the win on good defense. I enjoyed listening to her. She didn’t talk too much, and when she did, she always got right to the point. Most women took three or four sentences to say something that could be said in just a few words.
She was extremely feminine, judging by her painted toenails and perfect garden, but she also had a masculine side to her, at least in terms of hobbies.
Interesting…
We sat around for a while and lounged on the couches. Keira never moved from Scotty’s side—not once. She never went to the bathroom, threw away any trash, or reached for the remote. What was that about?
Why did I care?
When I looked at Adriana again, she was giving me the death stare. Could she read my mind or something?
“Well, I need to get home and do my laundry,” Bran said. “Otherwise I’m going to have to turn my boxers inside out.”
“TMI,” I said.
The guys stood up and headed to the door. But I eyed the mounds of trash on the tables. Soda cans, dirty paper plates, pizza boxes, and hot wing containers were littered everywhere. I wasn’t normally so polite but I couldn’t leave without helping.
Without caring, the guys left out the front door. I stood up and started grabbing all the trash.
“We got it,” Scotty said.
“I don’t mind,” I said quickly. “I’m sorry the rest of them are assholes.” I laughed lightly then glanced at Keira. She wasn’t looking at me. I turned away then glanced at her again.
Damn, I couldn’t stop looking at her.
I carried the garbage to the trashcan and started throwing everything inside. She came beside me then dropped the paper plates in. It was the closest I’d ever been to her. I looked up, my eyes landing on her neck. I noticed a faint scar along her collarbone. It was linear and long, like someone had purposely made a cut there. I looked away then stepped back, giving her room.
She pushed down the garbage then stood up again.
Our eyes met for a moment in time. I wanted to say something but couldn’t think of anything. Like she was scared of me, she quickly looked away then darted back to Scotty.
Okay…
After everything was cleaned up, Scotty moved to the front door to walk me out.
I lagged behind so I could say something to Keira. “Thanks for letting us watch the game here.”
She stared at me and blinked twice, like she didn’t understand what I said.
This was awkward.
“Yeah…sure.” She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear like she didn’t know what to do with herself.
Did I make her nervous? Was that a good or bad thing?
“It was nice meeting you,” I said politely.
“You too.” She was quicker that time. She eyed the muscles of my arms and chest then looked away.
Women stared at me all the time, but they didn’t look at me the way Keira did. There wasn’t lust there. But I didn’t know what was.
I walked to the front door and patted Scotty on the back. “Thanks for playing with us.”
“Because the teams wouldn’t be even without me?” he asked with a laugh. “I’m glad I could be of some assistance.”
“I’ll see you later.” I looked over his shoulder, wanting another glimpse of Keira. But she never came out. “Good night.”
“Good night.”
CHAPTER SEVEN
Keira
“Why would you invite them here?” I barked.
“Because you said it was okay…”
“But you put me on the spot. What was I supposed to do?”
He crossed his arms over his chest. “So, I’m not allowed to have anyone over?”
“No, of course not. You can bring girls.”
His eyes narrowed. “So I can’t bring any guys over?”
“It just makes me uncomfortable.” I squirmed under his gaze. I saw how disappointed he was.
“No. You need to branch out. Not every guy is going to hurt you.”
“I just don’t like it, okay?”
“You really think I’d bring a guy here if I thought he was a threat to you? And I was here the whole time.”
“What if they gained up on me?”
He rolled his eyes. “Now you’re just being paranoid. This behavior needs to stop. If you shut out everything, you’re closing off the good as well as the bad. They are good guys. You don’t have to worry about anything.”
“One of them kept staring at me…”
“Because he has eyes,” Scotty said. “You act like a freak of nature around other people. He was probably wondering why you were acting so odd.”
I don’t know. The guy stared at me for a long time. Every time I looked up, his eyes were on me. I absentmindedly touched my collarbone. I recalled the way he stared at my scar.
“You need to chill out,” Scotty said firmly. “I hate to be insensitive but you need to let everything go and move on.”
“I wish it were that easy…”
“Then I’ll do it for you. You’re coming out with me from now on—with my guy friends.”
“No.” I shook my head. “No.”
‘They aren’t going to hurt you. And I’ll be there the whole time. There’s a lot of fun things we do together. We play ball, go surfing, and watch all the games. You’d like them if you just loosened up.”
“I’m not going to date any of them,” I said firmly.
He raised an eyebrow. “What makes you think they’d want to date you?”
I glared at him then hit his shoulder. “Don’t be mean to me.”
“You’re ugly.”
“Shut up!”
He smiled then pulled me into a hug. “You know I’d never let anything happen to you, right?”’
“Yes,” I whispered.
‘Then trust me on this one.”
“Okay…”
“Have you considered calling that therapist?”
“Uh…”
“Think about it,” he said firmly.
When I went to bed that night, I kept panicking. What if one of Scotty’s friends came back to the house and broke in? I shook the thought when I realized how crazy I was. My thoughts started out small then exploded into ridiculous scenarios. I wished I could stop them. The paranoia consumed my thoughts constantly.
I closed my eyes and fell asleep. But as soon as I drifted off, a horrific nightmare came into my vision. The horrific night terror played over and over again. The tears burned behind my eyes.
“Mom…Dad…I’m so sorry.”
I tried to shake the dream off but I couldn’t. It kept repeating itself. I tossed and turned, whimpering as more tears fell. I finally sat up and screamed loud enough to wake me up. When I opened my eyes, my sheets were drenched in my sweat. It soaked into the fabric and clung to my back.
Unstable, I scrambled down the hallway and found the liquor cabinet. I opened the first bottle I could find then downed it without reading the label. Judging by the taste, it was vodka.
Someone snatched the bottle away. “Are you okay?”
I fell to the floor, still crying. “It never goes away…”
Scotty put the bottle aside
then wrapped his arms around me. “Shh…it’s okay.”
“I can’t do this anymore. I can’t.” I sobbed hysterically. “God…I wished he killed me.”
Scotty squeezed me harder. “Don’t say that again.”
“I mean it. I mean it…” I reached for another bottle, knowing it would help me sleep.
Scotty pulled it out of my hands. “Fuck, I didn’t realize this was so bad.” He picked me up then carried me back to my bedroom. He tucked me in then held me down.
“Don’t leave me,” I begged.
“I’m not.” He sat at the edge of the bed then held my hand. “I’m right here.”
“But when I fall asleep…you’ll be gone.”
“No. I’ll sleep on the floor.”
“You will?” I whispered.
He nodded. “I’ll sleep on the floor every night if you want me to.”
I squeezed his hand. “You’re all I have left…don’t ever go.”
“I won’t.”
I closed my eyes and tried to fall asleep. Scotty sat on my bed and didn’t speak. Feeling his hand in mine was enough to lull me to sleep.
The semester just started but I considered dropping out. I managed to get through the first year because it distracted me, but now it didn’t distract me enough. And I felt obligated to go to school. It’s what my parents would have wanted.
I passed the week getting through my courses. I chose math because it was simple. There were specific rules to do every problem. If you just followed those guidelines, you’d always find the right answer. There was no interpretation or reflection. Your inability to get the right answer had nothing to do with you as a person. You just had to follow the rules.
It was like a puzzle. I didn’t have to think when I did my homework. In class, I was always distracted, going through the steps in my head. It was the least emotional major I could find. There was no soul or meaning. Engineers and scientists used it to solve real problems. Mine were all theoretical.
Scotty didn’t pressure me to hang out with his friends like he said he would.
Thank god.
I didn’t want to spend time with anyone but him. When Scotty got off work, he came home and stayed in with me. He hadn’t brought a girl over yet. I was selfish and thankful I had him all to myself. We watched movies and made dinner every night. It was a nice break from reality.
Unbreakable Page 3
