His eyes widened. “I’m sorry. I was not expecting that.”
“What were you expecting?” I asked with a laugh. As soon as I chuckled, I realized I hadn’t done that with anyone but Scotty. Talking to Liam wasn’t as agonizing as I thought. It was pretty easy to do, easier than talking to Adrianna—that bitch.
He shrugged. “I don’t know. Music or something.”
“Music?” I asked incredulously. “Do you see any instruments in the house?”
“No. But I haven’t seen your room.”
The mention of my room made me close up again.
“You own this house?” he asked.
I was brought out of my momentary solitude. “Yeah.”
“It’s really nice.”
“Thank you. It’s small, but it’s perfect for me.”
“And Scotty,” he added.
“Yeah. We both don’t need much space.”
He stared at me for a long time. His eyes drilled into mine. The look was so intense, I turned away. “Are you and Scotty…a thing?”
“Eww! God, no.”
His eyes narrowed in confusion. “You two are just always together…”
“He’s my cousin,” I said quickly.
“Oh.” A slight laugh escaped his lips. “I guess that makes sense.”
I made another face and cringed.
He laughed. “Sorry for the assumption. Every time I see you, you’re with him.”
“Well, he’s my best friend.”
He didn’t have a response to that. He drank his beer instead.
“How long have you and Adrianna been together?”
“I’m not seeing her,” he said quickly. He shifted his weight like I threw a punch at him. He seemed offended, disgusted with the association.
Okay… Why would she say they were together if they weren’t? “Oh…”
“Why did you think that?”
“Well, she told me.”
His eyes narrowed in anger. “She said that?”
I nodded.
“She’s full of shit. I’m not dating her, I’ve never dated her, and I’m never going to date her. She’s just a friend, but she clearly doesn’t want to be. Don’t listen to her,” he said firmly. “There’s nothing going on.”
“Okay.” Now I felt awkward. I wasn’t sure why that provoked such a strong reaction from him.
“I’m not lying.” He looked me straight in the eye.
“Okay…”
“You believe me, right?”
Why did he care? “I guess.”
“No, you don’t guess. You do, right?”
Wow. This guy wouldn’t quit. “I believe you.”
He relaxed. “Thank you.”
What was the big deal? Adrianna was beautiful. I could see any one of these guys falling in love with her. But it would be for her looks, not her personality, obviously. “Then why did she say that to me?”
He rolled his eyes. “She just wants you to stay away from me.”
“Because…?” I wasn’t good at this social thing.
“Because she wants me all to herself.”
“Oh okay. Then why don’t you date her?” Was that an appropriate question to ask?
“Because I don’t like her,” he said quickly. “I’ll never like her.”
“Okay…” This was getting weird. “What’s your major?”
He relaxed at the change of subject. “Business finance.”
“Sounds like a snoozer.”
He laughed loudly. “And math isn’t?”
I shrugged. “I guess both our majors are pretty boring.”
“Definitely. But I like it, for the most part.”
“Me too. It’s easy for me.”
“Easy?” he asked incredulously. “I barely got through calculus in high school.”
“Don’t you need math for calculus?”
“No, you need excel.” He winked.
I chuckled. “True.”
We stood in silence for almost a minute. I think I made enough effort to be social. I wondered if I could leave now. When I looked at Scotty, he was talking to Tony at the barbeque, not paying any attention to me. When I turned back to Liam, he had a different expression on his face. He seemed sad.
“I didn’t mean to scare you this afternoon…”
I didn’t like where this was going. “I have to leave.”
“What…?”
I placed my empty beer bottle next to the other five I already drunk then bolted to my room. As soon as I was inside, I sat on my bed and breathed a sigh of relief. The silence was a godsend. I just listened to my own breathing and pulled my knees to my chest.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Keira
Eleven Months Earlier…
I would remember the way Finn slapped me for the rest of my life. Even when my parents were livid at me for being a terror, I was never scared they would hurt me. All they did was raise their voice. But Fin hit me. He said he wouldn’t do it again, that he loved me.
But he did.
Now I was so stuck, I couldn’t get out. Whenever I tried to leave, he threatened to hurt me. I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t tell my parents because Finn would find out. And I would have to admit my parents were right. He wasn’t the right person for me.
My dad was always angry with me. When I sat at the breakfast table in the morning, he ate his cereal without looking at me. The disappointment was on his face.
My mom came in, holding a pregnancy stick. “You’re too young to be having sex!”
My heart fell. She went through my stuff? I hid it in my underwear drawer so they wouldn’t find it. I had a few pregnancy scares but nothing ever came from them. They were always negative. Thankfully.
“I can’t believe you went through my stuff!”
“I was putting your laundry away,” my mom said. “And that doesn’t matter. This is unacceptable, Keira Lynn.”
Shit. She said my middle name.
My father tensed, holding his spoon but not eating another bite. Then he stood up and smashed the bowl against the floor.
My mom and I were both shocked by the outburst. My dad got mad, but not like that.
He grabbed my chair and leaned into my face. “This stops now. I’m pressing charges.”
“Against who?” I shrieked.
“That piece of shit. You’re still a minor.”
My heart fell. “No! I’ll deny everything.”
“I don’t give a shit,” he snapped. “Either break up with him or I’m pressing charges. I mean it.” He left the kitchen, the shards across the tile.
My mom tossed the pregnancy test in the trashcan. “I don’t want my daughter to wind up pregnant and alone. Your father and I don’t care how much you hate us. We will do what’s best for you. One day, you’ll understand.” She grabbed her keys and left.
I sat at the table, alone. The anger flushed through my body. I didn’t know what to do. If I broke up with Finn, he would hurt me. I managed to hide my scars because he never hit my face. But I didn’t know how badly he’d hurt me this time.
When I came home after school, I stayed in my room. I didn’t plan on leaving. I didn’t care how hungry I was. I’d rather starve than face my parents. I worked on my math homework then worked ahead because I enjoyed the subject. I listened to my headset to distract my mind. Music made me feel better, the stress disappeared.
A knock on the door made me tense. “Go away.”
“Pumpkin, let me in.”
“No.”
He opened the door anyway. “Dinner?”
“I’m not hungry.”
He stood at the door and sighed. Then he sat at the edge of my bed. “You’re the only daughter I have. All I want is a long and happy life for you. I don’t see that happening with Finn.”
Now he made me feel guilty. I wanted to hate him but it was hard to. The love and concern was in his eyes. My parents gave me everything and went above and beyond for me. For my sixteenth birthday, they bought me a new ca
r even though they both had old, beat-up vehicles. I knew my parents would starve themselves just to buy me the world.
“Pumpkin, don’t make me do this. Just break-up with him.”
I wanted to tell him the truth but I was scared.
He sighed. “Okay. I’ll call tomorrow.”
I said nothing.
He hung his head low then left the bedroom. “I love you no matter what, Pumpkin. When you’re a parent, you’ll understand.” He shut the door, leaving me in solitude.
At midnight, Finn called me.
“Pick me up.”
This was a common routine. He’d get drunk and wasted at a party, ask me to get him because he didn’t have a car, and then he would fuck me lazily on his bed then tell me to leave. “I can’t. My parents are watching me.”
“Sneak out the window,” he snapped.
“I…I just can’t.”
“You bet your ass you can! Come get me. Now.”
I hated it when he was like this. I didn’t want to see him because he’d probably be violent, but I was even more scared not to pick him up. I knew the punishment would be worse. It was the lesser of two evils. “I’m coming.”
“Good.” He hung up.
I snuck out my window then got into my car. As soon as I started the engine, I drove away so my parents wouldn’t hear me. My heart raced in my chest when I realized what I was doing.
I didn’t know how it got this bad. A simple love turned into something so dark and sinister. I was in pain all the time. This wasn’t how it should be. I didn’t want to be with Finn anymore. I hated the way he treated me. This wasn’t love. I didn’t know what it was anymore.
I decided to end it with Finn. He would hurt me, probably more than usual, but he wouldn’t kill me and I would survive. I would be free. When I came home, I’d tell my parents. Maybe they would move so he wouldn’t find me again. Maybe we could put Finn in jail. I wasn’t sure, but I had to do something.
I felt bad for hurting my parents for as long as I did. I was about to graduate high school and I was almost an adult. Soon, I’d move out and stop seeing them every day. I wasted so many precious years with Finn when I could have been with my parents. I missed every game night, every movie night. I didn’t want that anymore.
When I picked up Finn, he was quiet in the passenger seat. Judging by the redness in his eyes, he was still high. He leaned his head against the window and closed his eyes. He might not be violent because he was so tired. That was good for me.
When we came into his small apartment, he peeled his clothes off and walked into the bedroom.
Here it goes… “Finn, I think we should talk.”
“Come here,” he snapped.
I stayed out of his bedroom. “Let’s talk out here.” I didn’t want to go in there. I knew what he wanted to do.
“I said come here!”
I flinched at the anger in his voice. My hope diminished. After a deep breath, I walked inside.
He eyed my body. “Take off your clothes. I’m tired.”
I forced the words from my mouth. The sooner I got it over with, the sooner he would beat me. But I would be free. “I want to break up.”
“What did you say?”
“I want to break up.” I closed my eyes and waited for the punches to start. “I’m not coming back. I won’t answer your calls. I won’t change my mind.”
He grabbed my hair and yanked me toward him. “I don’t think so. You can’t leave me.”
I started to cry, knowing what was going to happen next.
His fist slammed into my gut, making me lose all my breath. “Don’t be stupid, Keira.”
I kept my mouth shut.
He punched me again. I cried while he hit me, knowing this pain was unbearable.
He threw me on the floor and kicked me. “Change your mind!”
I curled into a ball and tried to protect my head.
He kicked me again then turned me on my back. He pushed his foot down, breaking my collarbone.
I screamed in agony. It was the worst pain I ever felt. I howled and tried to get away.
“Shut the fuck up!” For the first time, he hit me in the face. His fist collided with my mouth, drawing blood. Then he stepped on my knee, breaking it. “Cunt.”
I screamed and begged for it to end.
I finally passed out, thankfully. I don’t know what else he did to my body, but I was glad I didn’t have to feel or see it.
When I woke up, I was in the hospital. Tubes were inserted everywhere. I had an IV in my arm and a breathing tube in my nose. My eyes fluttered as I remembered what happened. Finn’s face appeared in my mind. His bloodlust made me shake. I tried to sit up but I couldn’t. Everything hurt.
“Don’t move.” A hand gripped me.
I turned my head, feeling the pain in my body as I did. Who was that?
Scotty’s face appeared in my view. His eyes were red like he’d been crying. “How are you feeling?”
When I saw him, the tears fell. “Oh my god…”
“You’re okay. You’re safe.”
I sobbed. “What happened?”
“Someone called the police. When they arrived, they arrested Finn and took you to the hospital. Your knee and collarbone was broken, so they took you to immediate surgery. You’re going to make a full recovery without any permanent damage. You’re going to be fine.” He patted my arm.
“How much time has passed?” I was still disoriented.
“Three days. You’ve woken up a few times, but you clearly don’t remember it.”
I moved my hand toward his then grabbed it. “I’m so glad you’re here.”
He kissed my head. “I’ll always be here.” Scott lost his parents last year. It was an unfortunate accident. The house caught on fire from a grease fire. Scotty wasn’t home and his parents were trapped in the house. A year had passed but Scotty was still torn apart.
I held his hand and breathed the air in my lungs. It felt good to be alive. When Finn beat me, I was so scared. Never in my life had I been afraid I was going to die. But I was then. The important thing was I survived. Finn was in custody and I should be safe. My parents would be happy the entire ordeal was over. “Where’s my mom and dad?”
His eyes sagged and he sniffed. Tears fell down his cheeks.
Oh my god. “What?”
He kissed my hand again. “I’m sorry, Keira.”
“What? What do you mean?” I felt the panic rise. “What are you talking about? What’s going on?”
He placed his hand on my good shoulder and held me back. “This is what the police pieced together. When you snuck out of the house, your parents drove to Finn’s house to find you and drag you back. But a drunk driver hit them head on. They both died instantly.”
Oh my god.
What?
I can’t think.
What?
My heart pumped faster than it ever had. My parents were dead?
Oh my god.
Scotty watched me. “Keira, we’ll be okay.”
I started to hyperventilate. “They’re…dead.”
“I’m so sorry.” The tears fell down his face.
And then it hit me. “They’re dead.”
Scotty stared at me, the pain on his face.
And I started to sob. “It’s all my fault! If I just listened to them, they would still be here. I killed them.” I hugged my waist even though it hurt my shoulder. “It’s all my fault. They were trying to protect me and I was an ungrateful brat. Oh my god.” I couldn’t breathe. I tried to get the air in my lungs but I couldn’t. My monitor started to go haywire.
“Keira, breathe.”
I sobbed so hard my chest hurt. “Fuck. I can’t believe this. I killed them.”
“You didn’t kill them,” he said gently.
“Oh god!” I screamed in agony, completely out of control.
The nurse rushed in, a needle prepared with a med. “Stand back.”
Scotty moved out of the way.
“What are you doing?”
“She needs to calm down.” She held my arm and inserted the depressant in my IV.
Within seconds, I felt the calm arrive. Unable to keep my eyes open, they closed to their own accord. I started to drift, but my dreams weren’t a sanctuary. They were worse than reality.
I wished I was dead.
CHAPTER NINE
Liam
I started going to the gym again a week later. My rest period was over and I needed to stay fit. But I liked working out. It was the best way to channel the pain I carried every day. I put my ear buds in, and I was free.
Keira was on my mind fairly often. I wasn’t sure why. I remembered the way she ran from me when I tried to slap my hand against hers. Did she think I was going to hurt her? Did I scare her? I didn’t mean to. I’ve never hit a girl in my life.
She was odd, but the fact she was so different made me more interested. She clung to her cousin like he was a lifeline. When she talked to me at the barbeque, she was a little off. But once we were in a serious conversation, she relaxed. And she turned out to be pretty cool.
She enjoyed sports as much as I did, watching them and playing them. She handled her liquor well. I watched her drink more beer than I did and she didn’t seem tipsy at all. And she was very athletic. Even though she was small, she was quick and agile. I could barely keep up with her, and I was the fastest person I knew.
Then Adrianna had to come in and scare her off. Why would she lie and say I was her boyfriend? I knew Keira didn’t believe me when I denied it. I had to spend time convincing her I wasn’t pulling shit out of my ass. I haven’t spoken to Adrianna since. And I don’t want to.
My finance class was in the math department because there wasn’t enough room in the business building, and I hoped I’d see Keira somewhere in the halls. I didn’t know what her school schedule was, and it seemed doubtful I would run into her, but one could hope. I knew I couldn’t just ask her to do something one-on-one. I wasn’t sure if she even liked me—as a person. We were having a nice conversation last week then she took off in the middle of it. She stayed in her room until everyone left.
Did I say the wrong thing?
She was more complicated than normal girls. That was usually a huge turn off for me, but Keira kept me interested. I wanted to know why she acted that way. And what was the scar on her collarbone from? It almost looked like an incision.
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