‘Charlie will probably let him stay on if he wants to,’ Hazel said.
‘He has to find some form of employment. Not much available down here.’
‘Something will turn up. You still planning to do a boutique B&B?’
‘Yes. There won’t be any money from Derek so I’m going to have to earn some, somehow. And let’s face it, I’m hardly likely to find anyone willing to employ me. My CV for the past twenty-odd years is a bit blank.’
‘I think you’ll be a brilliant seaside landlady. Guy could become your lodger. Sort both of your problems!’ Hazel laughed.
‘Talking of being a landlady, I need to find some posh lifestyle magazines for inspiration and a large notebook to start planning The Captain’s House’s makeover,’ Karen said. ‘Then we need to find somewhere for lunch.’
Wandering around the medieval streets, Karen found herself reflecting on how different life had become this summer. Losing her home because of Derek; deciding to move down here permanently; Gabby; Bruce learning about Carrie – and God only knew what effect that would have on his life, his future.
The one good thing that had made a difference to her life this summer was Guy. She smiled to herself. He had his own problems but it was good to have him back in her life. Just being with him made her feel better.
While Hazel was inspecting a rack of sunglasses outside a touristy shop, Karen flicked through a rail filled with T-shirts, laughing at some of the more outrageous printed slogans. Then she spotted one she couldn’t resist buying for Guy. She’d hide it away as a silly present for his birthday.
Lunch at one of the upmarket pubs was good and afterwards the two of them sat by the boat-float eating enormous ice creams.
‘Not sure my twenty lengths in the pool is going to work this off that easily,’ Karen said. ‘But it’s so worth it.’
Ten minutes later she licked her fingers and stood up. ‘Quick walk along the embankment and then home to slob out by the pool for an hour before Wills and Tia get back from kayaking?’
There was a strange car parked outside the cottages when they got back, and both Karen and Hazel looked at it suspiciously.
‘Looks like somebody has got visitors,’ Hazel said. ‘You expecting anyone?’ Karen shook her head.
‘Me neither,’ Hazel said. ‘See you down by the pool in five.’
Bruce, sitting alone out on his terrace, raised a hand in greeting as Karen walked past on her way to the pool, where Charlie was lying on one of the loungers reading.
‘Hi, Charlie, where is everyone this afternoon?’
‘Wills and Tia are due back any time from kayaking, not sure what Joy and Toby are up to, and Guy – Guy has gone for a walk, with Melissa.’
Karen caught her breath. ‘That’s her car in the car park?’
Charlie nodded. ‘She turned up about an hour ago. Said she wanted to talk.’
‘D’you think that’s all she wants?’ Karen couldn’t help asking.
Charlie shrugged. ‘Possibly not. But Guy rarely changes his mind once he decides something. I think she’s going to find she’s had a wasted journey today.’
‘Who’s had a wasted journey?’ Hazel said as she joined them. She raised the backrest on one of the loungers before throwing a towel over it and turning to look at Karen expectantly.
‘Guy’s friend Melissa,’ Karen said. ‘I’m just going back to the house. Forgot my book. Won’t be long.’ There was no way she could sit there, waiting for Guy to return with his wife, and make polite conversation.
Back indoors she took the T-shirt she’d bought out of the bag and reread the slogan. ‘Legends are born in October.’
Why had she even thought it would make a silly birthday present for Guy in a few weeks’ time? If Melissa moved the goalposts yet again, would Guy even be around for her to give it to him?
*
The leather strap of the diary was far tougher to cut through than Bruce had expected. He’d cut an inch or two either side of the padlock and sighed with relief when both ends of the leather strap holding it became free.
The first few entries were indeed what he’d feared. Girlish jibberings from when Gabby was a teenager in college. These were followed by lots of blank pages – Gabby had clearly been an intermittent diary keeper – and then a page with just one word in large letters. PREGNANT!
A few more blank pages and then another entry: ‘I told Robert today and why am I not surprised he’s not happy? I thought he would at least support me but all he can say is he’s not ready for such a commitment and talks about having it terminated. No way is that happening. If I have to go through this on my own I will.’
The few entries after this were mainly about morning sickness and getting fatter by the day. Until the middle of the book. ‘Another three weeks. Shall be glad when I pop! The adoption agency tells me the couple who are adopting the baby are lovely. I can only pray they’re right. I want the best for my child and I know I can’t give him or her that at the moment. I shall have twenty-four hours and then he or she will be gone for ever to a better life than I can give. I have to sign the papers soon.’
Bruce rubbed his eyes. This was the Gabby he’d always loved. Bravely squaring up to difficulties and dealing with them without a word of anger, even though, knowing her as well as he did, from those few words, he could sense she’d been falling apart inside. She wasn’t going to show the world that side of her.
The next entry was on the facing page. ‘I had a baby girl today. 5 lb 12 oz. I’ve registered her and called her Carrie. The adoptive parents said they loved the name and wouldn’t change it. I pray they are as lovely as they sound. I asked one of the nurses to ring Robert for me and to tell him. I was surprised when he came to see me this evening. He held Carrie and I saw something in his eyes change. “How can I help, he said. You’ll need money. I’ll set up a monthly allowance.” I had to stop him and tell him his offer was too late. All the legal stuff had been done and signed. She was going to her new parents first thing in the morning. Then I told him to go and that I never wanted to see him again.’
Bruce turned the page and found a small black and white Polaroid picture tucked into the spine of the diary. A newborn baby wrapped in a shawl. Pencilled in on the back were the words ‘My Carrie on her birthday, 31st August 1989’.
Two years before Gabby had come into his life she had indeed had a child. He was no closer to knowing why she’d never told him, though. He flicked through blank page after blank page, despairing of finding anything else. Something to tell him why she’d hugged this unhappy part of her life, this huge secret, to herself. Finally, three pages from the very end, he found some more entries.
The first of the pages was dated 5th September the previous year. ‘I met Robert again last week and now I’m wishing I’d plucked up the courage years ago to tell Bruce about Carrie. I promised myself, once we had our own baby, I’d tell him about the one I gave away. But as the years went by and nothing happened it became increasingly difficult, so I shut my mind to it. I can’t bear the thought of hurting Bruce but it will have to be done. He deserves to hear the truth from me. So somehow I’m going to have to find the strength to tell him. I hope and pray that if ever my daughter should make contact with me he will be compassionate, both to her and me.’
Bruce closed the diary and placed it on the table. Four months before she died she’d started to pluck up the courage to tell him about the baby. Only fate had cruelly intervened.
Guilt flooded through his body. Gabby had wanted him to show compassion to both of them and what had he done? Basically behaved like a self-centred idiot because his pride had been hurt when he’d suspected his wife of deliberately hiding something so important from him.
Karen and Guy were right. He and Carrie did have a connection. He should go and find her. Talk to her about her mother. Which meant he first had to find the compassion in himself to forgive Gabby for keeping such a life-changing secret from him for so many years. He had to accept it
had happened and deal with the consequences of her long-ago action.
He knew one of those consequences was that he had to do the right thing by Carrie too. If he didn’t show her the compassion Gabby had clearly hoped he would, he’d have let her down. Something he didn’t think he could live with on his conscience.
He’d wait a few days and then find Carrie and tell her that if she wanted to ask him questions about her mother, he would do his best to answer them.
*
After that first walk with Lola out to the old tower, Carrie tentatively suggested to Tony that, on the days he was working, he bring Lola to her rather than give Jeanie the bother. She was pleased when he immediately accepted and he dropped Lola off at the house practically every day now.
Carrie enjoyed having the dog around, and taking her for walks gave her an excuse to do more exploring. The first time she let Lola into the house, the dog ran up and down the stairs as though looking for something or someone. Remembering she’d been Robert’s dog, Carrie realised she was looking for him and gave her an extra cuddle before bringing the dog basket downstairs and placing it next to the Aga.
After a walk with Lola, Carrie often popped in to to see Jeanie, who was always pleased to see her.
‘Lola’s going to miss you when you go back to your job in Gloucestershire,’ Jeanie told her one afternoon. ‘Don’t know how you can be so cruel as to abandon her to Tony and me. Shame on you.’
‘Jeanie, you know I don’t have any choice, so stop it,’ Carrie said. ‘I’ll be coming down for weekends.’
‘Not the same,’ Jeanie had muttered.
‘Maybe notm but it’s the way things are going to be. Right, I’d better get back. Tony said he’d pick Lola up early today as he’s got the evening off.’
Once home she unclipped Lola from her lead and watched as she made straight for the water dish before flopping into her basket. Carrie smiled. She was going to miss having Lola in her life. Right, she needed to make a couple of phone calls. One to Max and one to her parents.
Pressing one of the speed-dial buttons on her phone, she waited for Max to pick up.
‘Carrie, great minds. I was going to ring you later.’
‘Any reason? Not a problem up there, is there? You want me to come back early?’
She heard the hesitant pause before he said, ‘Not a problem, no. We were wondering how things were going down there. Whether you needed more time to sort things?’
‘D’you want me to need more time?’
Max didn’t answer the question directly.
‘The locum has fitted in really well. He’s getting married in October and is looking for a more secure position. He’s asked if there’s any possibility you won’t be coming back and if there is… he’d like to apply to replace you permanently.’
Carrie was silent. Was there some sort of conspiracy about her future going on? This afternoon, Jeanie had accused her of abandoning Lola by going back. And it was only this week she’d thought about moving down here – but decided against it because of her job. It had never occurred to her that somebody else might want to take it. Making it easier to take the decision not to go back if she decided that was what she wanted.
‘Max, I want to say you should tell him I’m sorry, there’s no chance of that happening and I’m coming back to work September 1st as agreed. But…’ She took a deep breath. ‘Can you give me a couple of days to think about it? I need to talk to Mum and Dad before I do anything as radical as moving down here.’
‘Of course. And Carrie? I’d be thrilled to see you back here in September, but equally, if you decide to move on, I’ll accept that and be thrilled for your exploring pastures new. Whatever you decide will be fine by me. OK?’
‘OK,’ Carrie echoed, closing her phone.
She heard Tony’s Land Rover stopping in the driveway and opened the front door.
‘You really are early.’
‘Fancy making me a cup of tea?’ Tony said with a grin. ‘To go with these?’ He jumped out of the Land Rover holding a cake box. ‘Two raspberry tartlets in here.’
‘You’d better come in then,’ Carrie said. ‘Nothing like bribing me to make you a cup of tea.’
‘Lola’s made herself back at home here,’ Tony said, looking at the dog, who was still curled up in her basket. ‘You must have walked miles today. She’s worn out.’ He glanced at Carrie. ‘She’s going to miss you when you leave.’
‘Don’t start. Jeanie has already told me I’m abandoning her. Anyway, I mightn’t…’ Carrie stopped.
‘You mightn’t what?’
Carrie sighed. She might as well tell him.
‘Max, my boss, phoned earlier. Apparently the locum is ready to step into my shoes permanently if I decide not to return. I told him I’d decide in a couple of days. I really need to talk to my parents.’
‘You mean you’d live here permanently? But you love your job – what would you do instead?’
Carrie shrugged. ‘Not sure. Jeanie mentioned the old village vet retired and the nearest one is miles away now. She also said something about a purpose-built building. I saw a low white building on the crossroads leading out of the village – was that the old veterinary practice? I haven’t had time to explore out that way yet.’
‘Finish your tart and I’ll take you there.’
Ten minutes later Carrie was in the passenger seat of the 4x4 with Lola on her lap and Tony was pulling up in front of the building.
Up close, Carrie realised it was quite an attractive building. Modern, yes, with large windows, but somehow it wasn’t an eyesore in the surrounding countryside, when it easily could have been. Flowerbeds in the front and beech trees and silver birches formed a windbreak on three sides, the leaves rustling in the gentle breeze. A For Sale sign was propped up in one of the windows.
‘Who has the key?’
‘The council will have it,’ Tony said. ‘I’ll get it tomorrow if you’re serious about this.’
Carrie jumped out and went to peer in through one of the windows. Was she serious about this place? Serious about moving into Robert’s house? Giving up her life in Gloucestershire? Running her own practice? Apart from Tony and Jeanie she had no other friends down here in Devon.
She turned to Tony. ‘You know the area, the way people here are. D’you think the village and the surrounding area of, say, thirty miles, need a vet in their midst? Or will they continue to travel to the nearest town like they do now?’
‘I don’t think you’ll be busy instantly, but I do think over time you could have a successful practice here,’ Tony said slowly. ‘There are two things I can tell you, though. One is that Robert would approve of your using his legacy in this way, and the other is…’ He paused before continuing. ‘Mum will be thrilled and convinced she persuaded you to stay for Lola’s sake.’
Carrie laughed and then grew serious again. ‘Please don’t mention it to her yet. It’s all a bit pie in the sky really and might not happen.’
Tony caught hold of her hand. ‘I hope it happens, Carrie. For lots of reasons. Come on, let’s get back. I’ll organise the key and we can come back tomorrow and have a look around.’
When Tony dropped her back home, she telephoned her parents hoping she could persuade them to visit and help her decide what to do. To her relief, when she’d briefly filled Elizabeth in on what had happened, her mum immediately said she’d love to come, ‘And Dad’s got some holiday due so I’ll make sure he comes too. I can’t wait to see you. I’ve missed you being around so much.’
Carrie replaced the receiver of the house phone thoughtfully. That last remark of Elizabeth’s was a worry. How on earth would she react to the possibility of Carrie moving down here permanently?
*
Guy gave Melissa a hug and opened the car door for her. Once in she wound the window down and he leant in and kissed her cheek.
‘Look after yourself – and for goodness’ sake eat some carbs. You’re far too thin. Drive carefully. Drop me a
text when you’re back.’
‘Thanks, Guy. You take care too. I’ll be in touch with details next week.’
Deep in thought, Guy stood there watching the car as it disappeared down the lane. Had the last couple of hours really happened? His heart had sunk when Melissa knocked on the cottage door and brightly said, ‘Hello, Guy. We need to talk.’ He’d braced himself for another confrontation where everything he told her was dissected and she promised she’d changed – again. This time, to his relief, it did actually appear she’d got her life back on track. Humming happily to himself he turned to go indoors.
Charlie was on the phone ordering a pizza when he went into the kitchen and Guy pointed to himself and mouthed, ‘Order one for me too.’
‘Hope there are some beers in the fridge. There’s a big possibility I might get drunk tonight,’ Guy said. ‘Want one while we wait for the pizzas?’
Sitting out on the terrace steps, Charlie looked at Guy. ‘Well?’
‘It’s official. We’re divorcing. She’s going to see a solicitor next week – irreconcilable differences.’ Charlie looked at him. ‘I know… she walked out on me. But it’s easier and quicker all round to go for that option.’
He took a swig of beer. ‘When she turned up here this afternoon I was dreading the tears and the arguments we were about to have again. Instead she’d come to see me because she’d decided I was right, that we were finished, but she wanted to see me before the lawyers got involved in the hope we could stay friends.’
‘Why the change of heart?’ Charlie said. ‘Call me cynical but…’
‘Her mother apparently pointed out a few home truths in the way only mothers can,’ Guy said. ‘Followed by the words “Grow up”. Never thought my mother-in-law would come to my aid.’
‘So what happens now?’
‘We instruct the lawyers and they sort it out. Not a lot to sort: no children, no real assets other than the Antibes apartment. Melissa is going to put that on the market as soon as she gets back to France. I’ve told her she can have whatever’s left in the kitty.’
Summer at Coastguard Cottages Page 19
