There was something about him that intimidated her. She found it hard to hold his gaze no matter what he was saying. She knew that he loved her, and she loved him, but she felt awkward in front of him. No matter what she was dressed in, how her hair was done, or where she lived, she was always going to feel like she was still that poor girl that was begging for a bite to eat, or working long hours for pennies.
She smiled at him, but was relieved when he let go of her. “I need to go out, my Love. There is business in town that I need to tend to, and I feel that it is no place for a lady to be. You are free to do whatever you like in all of this house, and if you would like, the gardens out in the back are just lovely for a walk or a sit.”
With that, he was gone. She watched him go, but felt a measure of relief when he was gone. That is, until the servants started asking her what they could do for her.
“Can I take your bags, Ma’am?”
“Would you like some lemonade?”
“I have set out a change of clothes for you in your room, shall I show you to your room?
The questions were all coming so fast, Josephine didn’t know where to start. It seemed like the best option was going to be to head to her room. If nothing else, there was going to be solitude there.
She found yet another beautiful dress lying out on the bed. It was a lot more casual than the one that she was wearing, but it was far fancier than anything that she had ever owned before.
A pair of female servants came into the room, and one started to undo the ties that were on the back of her wedding dress.
“Oh, that is quite all right,” Josephine said, putting her hands over the hands of the girl. “I can manage.”
They looked at each other, then they looked at her. One of them shrugged, and they both left.
Josephine figured that they thought she was strange, not letting them care for her, but she didn’t care. She liked to dress and undress herself, and she liked to take care of other things herself.
She walked over to the window and looked over the garden. It was the biggest and most beautiful garden that she had ever seen, and it took her breathe away. Part of her wanted to go out there and explore, but another part of her wanted to stay in this room for a while.
She sat down on the bed, and looked out beyond the garden. There were mountains rising up in the distance, and it looked gorgeous. Josephine had seen mountains when she was California, but they seemed bigger here. In fact, everything did.
She felt overwhelmed, but excited. It felt good to know that all of her troubles were now over. Anything that she wanted, she could have, and there was nothing she could imagine wanting that she couldn’t now have. From now on, anything and everything was going to be hers, and she didn’t have to give it another thought.
It was a strange feeling, but also peaceful.
Suddenly, there was a ring at the door.
She jumped up and walked over to the door, then opened it a crack.
“Dinner is served, Ma’am, and Mr. Stein is waiting for you to join him.”
She smiled and thanked the servant, then hurried to the mirror. She dabbed on her makeup and pulled back her hair, then hurried down to meet her husband.
*****
Life on their ranch in Texas was absolute bliss. Things couldn’t be better for Josephine or Ruben. Anything and everything they wanted, they got. If they could dream it, they literally had it at their fingertips.
In spite of having the world handed to her, Josephine was still as nice and sweet as ever. They went out to dinners, and to fancy parties. They traveled, and they rode horses across their vast ranch. All of Ruben’s friends fell in love with Josephine, and she became a fast favorite at all occasions.
As time passed, Josephine felt worse. She debated going to a doctor, but she didn’t know if she should tell Ruben about it before she went. If it was nothing, it would be senseless to spend money on the visit and to worry him, but if it was something, he would wonder why she didn’t say anything to him.
A large part of her remained in denial about feeling poorly. She couldn’t excuse it as stress anymore, she was living a life of luxury and ease. By all accounts she should have felt better than ever, but as the time went by, she only felt worse.
She began looking for reasons to go to the doctor. She felt if she was able to go to the doctor for another reason, then she could just ask the doctor about it when she was in the office. If she went about it that way, then she was going to be able to figure out what was wrong with her and not have to worry about anything.
It was surprisingly difficult to find a reason to go to the doctor. Nothing out of the ordinary happened that would prompt her to go, and she couldn’t bring herself to be reckless and hurt herself in such a way to have to go.
Josephine walked down to breakfast. She had overslept and felt nauseous.
“You should really try to eat something, Love. You haven’t eaten much for the past few days.” Ruben was eating a nice pile of bacon and eggs, and he spoke between large bites.
Josephine sat down, but it felt as though her breakfast was just staring back at her. She excused herself and ran to the bathroom.
A few hours later she found herself in the doctor’s office. She had been throwing up and feeling ill, and when she realized she was late, she had a feeling she knew why. Ruben was beaming, she had told him what she suspected, and he was thrilled.
“A son! It is going to be a son!” He said as they were riding into town. Josephine smiled, but she said nothing. She was trying not to vomit with each dip in the road, but it was a battle.
Now, as she sat in the doctor’s office, she debated on whether or not she should say anything about how she had been feeling. She wondered if it was due to her possibly being pregnant, but deep down inside she knew that it had to be something else.
She had been feeling dizzy and weak for a lot longer than this morning sickness, and it had definitely been getting worse.
“Well young Miss, I have some great news for you… you are going to be a mother!” The doctor said as he came back into the room. Josephine’s heart leapt inside of her. She had figured this was the case, but to hear it actually said out loud made her feel incredible.
“I will be seeing you again soon,” the doctor said with a smile. “So, unless you have any further questions, I will bid you good morning.”
“That will be all,” she said, but hesitated. The doctor turned to go, but she stopped him.
“There is one other thing… I have been feeling strange lately… Not just with the baby, this has been going on a lot longer than this.” The doctor stopped to listen, and Josephine poured out her heart to him.
She told him everything that she had felt, and how she had been slowly getting worse. The doctor looked concerned, and sat and listened.
“I can’t say for sure what it is, but I have a few ideas.” He said at last. “Why don’t you come in again next week, and we will do a few tests.”
“Do you think that it’s serious?” She asked, suddenly feeling concerned herself.
“I don’t want to worry you, but I think it is definitely worth looking into.” He bid her good day, and left.
On the way home, Josephine told Ruben everything. She felt that it was time to let him know the whole story, but it felt weird telling him all of it now.
“Let’s just focus on how happy we are about the baby.” He looked grim, and kept both of his hands on the reins and his eyes straight ahead on the road before them.
Josephine pulled her cloak up around her shoulders further. There was something about this situation that made her feel alone. She didn’t know if she should have told him sooner, or if she just felt scared. Regardless of what was wrong with her, she knew it was going to be a struggle.
There were Christmas trees in the windows of homes that they passed, and Josephine closed her eyes. She thought that her days of worry were over, but now she felt uncertain. It was as though everything that she had come to kn
ow in the past few months was suddenly being taken away from her.
She hated this feeling. It was the same feeling she had when she was being let go from her restaurant job months before, and it hurt.
She didn’t care what happened, she just wanted it all to be ok.
*****
Cancer.
It was a terrible thing that she had only heard of. Doctors were working to learn more about this disease, and most of it was still a mystery, but the doctor was certain that was what Josephine had.
“Am I going to die, doctor? What about my baby?” She had tears in her eyes, and fought for control.
“I am afraid that the outlook for this isn’t very promising… we see a lot of patients pass through these doors, and few of them are able to cope with this well. We will do everything that we can for you and your child, but I am afraid that the treatment is limited, and costly.”
Ruben had been sitting silently next to her for the discussion, but he perked up at the mention of treatment. He had been treating her like a fragile glass doll since she had told him, and he had feared the worst from the start.
To him, money was something that was unlimited, and if he could pay to have her healed, he was going to do it.
“What are we looking at for treatment?” She asked.
“Right now, surgery is the best and most effective treatment. If you are willing to travel up to the northern part of the state, there is a surgeon up there that specializes in this kind of surgery, and he would be able to help you. I have to warn you, though, he isn’t cheap.
We are talking in the thousands for this surgery.” He stood up to go, but Ruben stopped him.
“Money isn’t any problem. We have plenty, and no matter what it takes, that is what we are going to do.” He put his hand over Josephine’s, and looked determined.
The doctor smiled. “Mr. Stein, I am not going to make you any promises, but I assure you it is worth a shot. This weather is going to make it difficult to get up there, but I encourage you to act quickly. He is a busy man.”
With that, the doctor left, and they were left alone.
“Don’t you worry, I am sure it isn’t going to be that much. We have enough money to deal with it, and we are going to make you… and the baby… all better.”
Two days later they were sitting in the office of specialist John Dodston. They had taken the next coach up north, and they had waited in his office until they were able to get in.
The receptionist told them they had to make an appointment, but they were insistent, and she allowed them to stay in the event that something opened up. After what felt like an eternity, someone didn’t show up for their appointment, and they were allowed in.
The Doctor Dodston felt around Josephine’s abdomen and back, and looked grim.
“I have seen this before, it isn’t easy to take care of, and I have lost a lot of patients to it. I will have to go in and do surgery, and the sooner, the better. Unfortunately, there are a lot of other people that need my care, and I am afraid I will have to see them first.”
“I will make it worth your while,” Mr. Stein interrupted. “I have all of the money that you will require, just please take care of her.”
Doctor Dodston paused, his hand on the door. “I am afraid you don’t know how much that would be, Sir.”
“Name your price, and I have it.” Ruben pressed.
“Well…” Doctor Dodston smiled a sly smile. “Perhaps we can work something out.”
Ruben stood with his hand in his pockets, staring at the snow fall outside the window.
“That would be all of the money. It would be gone…” Josephine was saying. She was sitting on the bed, talking to Ruben about what the doctor had said.
“It’s money, Love. Money is money, there is always more of it, but you are you, and you are the only you I can ever have.” Ruben kissed her, then told her to get some rest, he was going to take a walk.
Ruben walked with his hands in his pockets and his head down. There was a cold wind blowing but his mind was on other things. He loved Josephine, but he felt torn. It was going to take all of his money, and everything he had spent his life working towards.
The doctor had said that he had not had a successful surgery of this kind, and that the patient never pulled through. Of course he wouldn’t hesitate if he knew she was going to be ok, but if he spent everything to make her better, and she passed away anyway, then he would truly lose everything.
He walked for over an hour, but couldn’t bring himself to a conclusion. She had told him that she didn’t think they should risk it. She didn’t want him to lose everything, and it would be pretty certain that he would.
But on the other hand, he felt selfish. He loved her more than anyone else, and their baby. He would never be able to forgive himself when she passed on if he knew that he could have tried to save her and did nothing.
Ruben felt angry. He had always been in control of what happened to him. If he wanted something, he got it, no matter what it was. There was nothing in the world that he had to deprive himself of, and there was nothing that had ever happened to him that his money couldn’t buy.
Now, it didn’t seem to matter. Sure, he would be willing to lose everything to have her, but he didn’t know if it would be enough. He hated that his money couldn’t fix her. There were no guarantees with this. All the money in the world couldn’t ensure that his family was going to be ok, and this powerless feeling infuriated him.
Later that night Ruben returned to their hotel room, and he found Josephine asleep on the bed. She was lying on her side, with her large belly taking up most of the bed.
She was sleeping so peacefully. Ruben wanted to curl up in bed behind her, and wrap his arms around her, pulling her close to him.
It was at that moment he decided they were going to go through with the surgery, no matter what the cost. It wasn’t much of a chance, but it was a chance. If there was any way in the world she might be ok, he was going to go through with it.
He crawled into bed, and pulled her close.
“It is going to be ok, I promise.” He whispered in her ear.
*****
Ruben paced back and forth in the waiting room. The doctor said that the surgery was going to be a few hours, but Ruben still jumped up every time a nurse walked out. He and Josephine had arrived at the hospital before the sun was up… they had wanted to get her in early… yet here he still was, long after the sun had gone down.
He knew this was an intense surgery, and that there was a slim chance that Josephine would even survive it, but he wished they would tell him something, anything. He could see a few of the nurses running back and forth between the various patients, and some kept going back to where they did surgery and coming back out, but they didn’t pay any attention to him.
“Sir, please try to relax,” a nurse finally stopped to tell him. “This is a really intense surgery, and he is going to have to take his time to make sure he gets all of the tumors out of her. We also have to keep in mind how the anesthesia is working and have your wife’s life at the utmost of our concern. We know it is hard for you to wait out here, but please, have a seat. We are going to tell you as soon as we know anything.”
He thanked her and sat down, but he still felt jittery.
As he sat there, he thought about Josephine, and the life that they had together. He missed her. Her smile, her laugh, the way that she looked at him and hugged him.
The thought of losing her… or the baby… was almost more than he could bear. He finally sat down on the bench and buried his face in his hands. Softly, through the window, he could hear singing.
He got up and looked outside. There, in the snowy street, stood a small group of Christmas carolers. They were singing in perfect harmony, and sounded like a group of angels standing out there in the cold.
Ruben was filled with an overwhelming peace, and watched them sing, with tears running down his cheeks. He didn’t know why, but suddenly, it felt like
everything was going to be ok. There was a small voice inside of him that told him no matter what happened, he was going to get through it, and it would all come together in the end.
The feeling was so strong, and so awe inspiring, he was left at a loss.
Suddenly, he felt a hand on his shoulder.
“She can see you now,” the nurse said.
Snow fell all around the small cabin, piling high in the windows. There was a warm fire crackling in the fireplace, and Ruben smiled down at the small bundle he held in his hands.
It was Christmas morning, and he and Josephine sat across from each other in front of the fire. He held in his hands little William Ruben Stein, and in Josephine’s arms lay Noel Grace Stein.
Twins, born early that morning, with both the little ones and their mother doing just fine.
Ruben sat back in the chair and closed his eyes. He was the happiest man in the world. He had to sell all of his cattle, the ranch house, and the ranch in order to pay for her surgery and follow up treatment, but he used what little he had left to purchase this small cabin on the edge of town.
To Ruben, money had always been his whole life. Anything and everything that he did was tied to making more money in some way. But now, sitting in his small living room with his wife and two babies, he didn’t even think of money. He didn’t miss the servants, didn’t miss the money, and didn’t miss the big house.
There was nothing at that moment that could have made him any happier than he was.
Josephine looked at her husband holding her son, and smiled. She pulled her daughter close then kissed her small forehead. She had been feeling so much better, all the aches, pains, and dizziness were gone, and she had given birth to two perfect twins.
She felt like the luckiest woman that ever was. The fact that all of the money and riches was gone didn’t bother her in the least, she was so happy to be alive, and that she had her family around her.
SEALing The Victory Page 46
