She had thought that he might have gotten all of the word done so they could do nothing but spend time together and learn more about each other for a couple of days, but there he was, out in the barn tossing hay to the horses, and expecting her to wash up the dishes.
Missy washed them. She washed them quickly and angrily. She told herself that it was all new to her, and it was just a glitch. She was going to get used to the dishes and it would all be better. Of course this was something that every married couple had to do, even her sister and Eric.
She told herself that just because she was in the kitchen doing the dishes on her wedding night it was still way better than she would be if she were still home.
This is my house, after all, and my husband is out there in the barn tending to our animals. Of course I need to be in here doing the dishes and getting the house work done.
The more she told herself this was the way it was supposed to be, the more she felt better about it. She ignored that little feeling of doubt that was pressing against her heart and she started to hum.
After the dishes were done, she started dinner. She wanted to make something that was fancy and delicious, but all she could find in the cupboard were the things to make pancakes.
Missy sighed, then shrugged it off. Of course she was going to make pancakes. That was what every couple had the day they got married. She bet that was the same thing that her sister had, too.
Missy was determined to like it here, and she was certain that with time it was going to grow on her. She started to mix up the batter, and as she did, she told herself that tomorrow would be different. Tomorrow, she would make breakfast and get it cleaned up, and she would be able to get out and see the paths that Caleb had told her about.
Then she would see how magical this place really was, and she wouldn’t mind all of this work that managed to sneak up on her.
Just hang on until tomorrow, and it is all going to be ok.
*****
But is wasn’t, and neither was the next day. Or the day after that. Missy was slowly coming to realize that life in the West was a lot of work, and there was little free time to even sit down, let alone go out and adventure.
When she did have the chance to go out, Missy was so tired, she just wanted to sit for a few minutes, and she often found that she sat until she had to start doing something else.
As for Caleb, she rarely saw him. She really loved him, and they got along very well, but it seemed to her that she only saw him as he was climbing into bed next to her. Even dinners were hit and miss between the two of them. Caleb was often out with the cattle, moving them here, or sending them there.
She thought about how he had told her he was going to take her to a magical place, out towards the back of their land. He was going to show her something that he had never mentioned in his letters, and it was a surprise just for her, his love.
Her eyes filled with tears when she thought about it. He was nice to her, but she didn’t feel like she was his love anymore. She didn’t know if it was because she hated it out here in the West, or if it was because she never saw him, but whatever the reason was, she didn’t like it, and she felt alone.
Maybe he forgot, or maybe he’s just too busy for that right now. I’m sure he will remember when I need him to, but I hope it isn’t too late when he does.
There were a couple of times when Missy thought about leaving, and going home. She knew that if she did there would be a lot of humiliation for her. Elizabeth would never let her live it down, and she knew that Amy Lee would have her fair share to say about the matter, too.
She was almost certain that Frank would have heard what she had done, and she wasn’t about to chance running into him again, home after this fell apart in her face. Missy felt stuck, but she didn’t feel like she had a lot of other options.
Missy tried to make the best of it. She told herself that it was all just getting used to it, then it would seem like fun, but she was getting tired of lying to herself. She knew that it wasn’t the fact that she wasn’t used to it, it was the fact that she didn’t like it.
She was a college educated young woman, confident and beautiful… so what was she doing here? She wondered what life was like back home, and if they all missed her as much as she missed them. She hadn’t gotten any letters from her sister since she had moved, even though she had written to her, but she got a letter from Amy Lee every couple of weeks.
Amy was always too vague for Missy’s preference, but she didn’t know how to tell her that. She didn’t want to know that her sister was alive, she wanted to know what her sister was doing with her day. If she missed her, how the kids were… but those weren’t ever mentioned in Amy’s letters.
Missy did intentionally hold back information in the letters that she sent home. She knew that Amy liked to talk, and she didn’t want Amy to tell her sister that she was right, so Missy made it sound like life was perfect. She made them believe back home that this was the happiest that she had ever been, and she would have done it all over again in a heartbeat.
*****
With each passing day Missy grew to be more miserable, and she was starting to resent everything that she had. She and Caleb bickered a lot now, and he spent even more time on his own.
Missy knew that it wasn’t his fault, but she didn’t know how to make this better, either. She wanted to be happy again, and she wanted to be right about her move. To remedy her feelings, Missy hid from the world. She spent all of her time at home, and in the house, avoiding everyone.
She only saw her friends at church, and often declined any invites to dinner. Missy didn’t know how long she could go on like this, but she was so determined to be right that she never let on how unhappy she really was… until one day she was forced to come out of hiding.
Her friends often wanted to stop by and see her, but she would tell them that she was too busy. She had made excuse after excuse to keep to herself, but Missy knew that her hiding had come to an end. She was going to need to go see the doctor to confirm what she was feeling, but she was sure that she knew the truth already.
She was pregnant.
*****
11 Months Later
Missy sat out on the porch in the sunshine. It felt good to be out in the open air, she had spent so much time inside the past few days that is was hard to catch a break.
Elizabeth was in the house with little Anna, rocking her in the chair in her bedroom. It had been a long and difficult pregnancy, but Missy’s sister had come down to see her towards the end of it, and she had been there to help her get adjusted to motherhood.
It was a more difficult leap than Missy had thought that it was going to be, and she could honestly say for the first time in her life that she was happy that her sister was there to tell her what to do. Now, sitting outside in the sunshine, Missy was glad to catch a break.
“There is my Beauty,” Caleb came walking up the path from the barn. He was thrilled with being a father, but he worried that Missy felt like he didn’t give her enough attention anymore.
“I was wonderin if you wanted to take that walk I told you about?” Caleb grinned, and held out his hand. Missy wanted to snap at him, but she sighed and got up. She had put up a front when her sister was around, but she was still short with Caleb when Elizabeth wasn’t there.
They walked hand in hand to the top of the hill, and Caleb suddenly stopped. He walked behind her and put his hands over her eyes.
“I want it to be a surprise,” he said. “Just walk on straight ahead, and I will tell you when to stop. You are going to love this place.”
Missy’s heart softened a bit when he did that, and she took small steps forward. She trusted that he wouldn’t let her fall, but it had been so long since he had done anything like this, she almost felt nervous.
“Ok, now look!” He pulled his hands off of her eyes, and she opened them.
Missy gasped. There was a small cave in front of her, and in the darkness, she could see the sparkle
of all kinds of rocks. It looked like the wall was made of all kinds of crystals, sticking up all over the place, grabbing the light, and turning it into rainbows on the ground.
“Oh Caleb! It’s so… magical!” Missy breathed. She had never seen anything like this in her life, and to see it right here in front of her made it seem like a fairy tale had come to life.
“Is this really ours?” She asked in disbelief. She hadn’t been happy with anything that she had seen so far, but for some reason, the sight of this made everything else seem better.
So what if the house was small? In the backyard there was the most magical cave she had ever seen. So what if there was a lot of work to do? They wanted to keep the place nice so they could come and enjoy this cave for years and years.
“How far back does it go?”
“Come with me and I’ll show you,” Caleb said with a smile.
They walked for what seemed like an hour to Missy, though it was only a few minutes.
“Here, it’s just up ahead, around that turn… you go first… I saved the best for last.” Caleb slowed and let Missy take the lead. It was with great curiosity that she walked up the trail and approached the corner.
She paused for a brief second, building the anticipation for what she was about to see. Then she walked around the corner.
The cave opened up into a small room, with a pond on the floor. There were cracks in the back of the cave where light was coming in, and the whole room was lit up, almost like a rainbow. Missy smiled and twirled around, taking it all in.
Caleb came into the room, and Missy ran over and threw her arms about his neck. It had been so long since she had felt this way, and it was like this room had turned her into an entirely new person.
They sat down on the stone by the edge of the pool and dipped their feet in the water. Neither one of them said anything, then Caleb leaned in and kissed Missy on the forehead.
She didn’t know why, but the gesture made her burst into tears. Caleb pulled her close, and she poured her heart out to him. She told him everything that she had been feeling, even the times when she thought that she wanted to go home.
“I’m sorry, Caleb… I thought that I would be happier if I went home, and I just wanted to be happy.” She didn’t know if she was making any sense, and she hoped that Caleb wasn’t upset with her for feeling that way.
“I just want you to be happy, too, Darlin… and if that means you need to go home, well, shoot… I suppose I will buy you a train ticket back there.” Caleb spoke slowly, and Missy could tell that it crushed him inside to say that, which made her burst into tears all over again.
“No, I don’t want to leave anymore. I love you, I love Anna, and I love our home. This is the most magical place I could have ever imagined, and if I had known it had been here this whole time, I never would have wanted to leave.”
They had a long talk in that cave, about all kinds of things, and it was only when the sun was starting to set that they decided to head back to the house.
Missy felt a lot better now, it was like a huge weight had been taken from her shoulders, and she felt at peace. She was glad that she was here, and she felt that she had made the right choice in coming here.
“Where have you been?!” Elizabeth yelled when they walked in the door. “Don’t you know I have been frantic here with little Anna? How was I to know when you were coming back? What if something had happened?”
Missy made a face at Caleb while her back was turned to her sister, and he grinned.
“Oh Lizzy, you knew that I was going to be back eventually… I always am.”
“You are a mother now, and you have a responsibility to this little girl here. I expect more out of you Missy. With the example you set, you are going to see this little girl grow up to become as wild as you are.” Elizabeth shook her head, and handed Anna to Missy.
Missy smiled at her daughter, and held her close.
“You know what, Elizabeth?” She said, “I hope she does turn out just like me, and I hope that her life is just as good as mine turned out to be.”
Anna cooed and grabbed on to Missy’s finger, and Missy smiled. She meant every word of what she had said.
*****
THE END
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THE BARREN BRIDE
“Ellie, you make the best biscuits and gravy any man could ask for.” William Barnes put his fork down and rustled the paper.
Ellie smiled and stood up to clear the table. She knew that her husband loved her buttermilk biscuits, and she wanted this morning to be extra special.
“You best hurry along now, you don’t want to be late getting to the bank,” she said.
“Old Gregory had better be in a good mood today. I may not be a businessman, but I could be a darn good banker. I just don’t like these new-fangled job interviews he is insisting on doing. I am the man for the job, so hire me!”
Ellie jumped as William brought his fist down on the table, but turned and smiled.
“You are going to do fine, my love, and as soon as he hires you, things are going to get better.”
“And that they are, Darlin, and that they are.” William kissed his wife on the cheek and picked up his hat. Ellie walked behind him to the door and gave him a hug before he left.
She watched him stroll down the street in the direction of the bank. He had to walk through a swarm of children that eagerly pushed passed him on their way to school.
When Ellie saw that, she closed the door and turned back to the kitchen, her hand involuntarily resting on her slim stomach. She sighed and tried not to think about how badly William wanted children.
Oh she had tried. She did everything that she knew how to give him the kids that he wanted, she had even gone to the doctor and asked for advice on what she should be doing and eating, but nothing seemed to work.
Month after month it was the same, and month after month they remained childless. William had told her that as soon as they had more money, they were going to be in a better place to start a family anyway, but Ellie wasn’t so sure that she would ever be able to give him the children that he wanted.
“It’s just stress, love. You see the bills piling up, and old Hank asking you for money each time you go into his store… you’ll see, once I have a job again and we are all caught up on what we owe, you aren’t going to have a care in the world, and then the children will come along.”
William always seemed so optimistic about the situation, but Ellie knew he was thinking the same thing she was… she was barren. It didn’t matter how many or how few bills they had. She was never going to be able to have kids.
I don’t want them anyway. They are messy and loud and I wouldn’t be a good mom.
Ellie knew she was lying to herself when she thought that way, but she didn’t feel like she had much choice. It was either act happy that she didn’t have any, or be sad, and they were dealing with enough problems as it was.
William Barnes had huge dreams when he had moved them up to New York City from their sleepy little town in Vermont.
“We will have a life up there, Ellie. I will open up my shop and we will sell these clocks, and we will have our own little house all to ourselves. You will have a kitchen! Would you like that? And I will make the clocks in the store that will be attached, right to the front of the house!” William was always so optimistic about everything, and Ellie really didn’t feel anything tying her to Vermont anymore.
She had grown up in Vermont, her mother had died at a young age, leaving her with two brothers and her father. William had been a boy on a neighboring farm, but he was no farmer. He wanted to own his own business and make things with his hands.
A
s teenagers Ellie would listen to William talk about how he would build a shop with his own hands, and sell the things that he made in that shop. She didn’t know how it happened, but she fell in love.
But then their dream came to a halt when the war broke out. William, her brothers, and her father all went to fight, but William was the only one to return. Ellie always thought that it was ironic they called it the Civil war…. She saw nothing “civil” about it.
William managed to come home from the war, but it had left its mark on him. He had been shot in the chest, and the bullet had gotten dangerously close to his heart. He still carried the bullet, as the doctor said it would be too risky to try to remove it.
William got around ok, but Ellie feared that he would suffer from it. There was a lot of damage done to the tissue around his heart, and it was remarkable that he had survived.
Ellie didn’t care about the risks. The man that she loved returned home from the war, and they wed. Ellie had no objections to leaving Vermont with William. There was nothing there left for her.
They sold her farm, and used the money that they got for it to make it to New York and invest in a small house with a shop attached to the front. William’s business took off.
He was busy making clocks as the days went by, and he sold them almost as fast as he made them. They were on top of the world, the two of them, that is… until the fire.
One night, in the dark of autumn, some boys were playing with some kerosene and lamps. The fire got away from them and rushed up the side of their shop. They did what they could, but it was too late.
The fire had eaten up the shop and nearly all the clocks, leaving a great hole in the front of the house. William said that he was grateful the two of them made it out ok, but they had to move.
They ended up in a smaller house to the north of the one that they had been living in, and William searched for a new job. That had been a couple of months ago, so Ellie prayed that he would get the banking position he was interviewing for today.
SEALing The Victory Page 51
