by Jon McGoran
I moved away and looked back at him, stunned. I knew he probably meant to comfort me, but it was such an odd, patronizing gesture, like an adult comforting a child.
“I’ll be back,” he said softly. “You know I will.”
It might not have been fair, but in the midst of my revelation of my feelings about Rex and the likelihood of him disappearing from my life, it seemed outrageously presumptuous to assume I was only upset about Del.
“Don’t lie to me, Del, or Tamil, or whatever your name is. Whoever you are. You’re not coming back. Hell, you’re already gone. You left me when you got spliced without telling me. I’ve been doing everything I could to save your life, but there’s nothing I can do to save us. Our friendship. Or whatever this is.”
“Jimi, don’t say that.”
“Not saying it won’t make it any less true, Del.” I shook my head and let out a ragged laugh as the words I’d been thinking since I’d arrived at Haven suddenly bubbled to the surface. “I can’t believe I was so worried about you. So upset, while you were here the whole time, fine, planning on leaving forever without looking back, without even saying goodbye.” The tears started falling again, and I was angry at them, too. “And you’re not just leaving me, you’re leaving me alone. I’m not just losing you, I’m—”
I was about to say, I’m losing Rex, too, but before I could, Del leaned toward me, like he was going to kiss me.
“No!” I said, pushing him away. “No, Del. You don’t get to do that.”
He took a step back, looking hurt. “I’m sorry.”
In an instant my fury was gone, replaced by sadness. “Let’s just go,” I said quietly as I started back down the trail. “You’ll need to get back.”
We walked in silence for a few minutes. I was just passing the ledge with the view when something caught my eye and I paused.
In a gap between two of the surrounding hills, I could see Pitman, the pinpoint of orange flame above the coal well, and on the hillside directly across from us, the rock where I had sat with Rex.
“What is it?” Del asked, coming up beside me.
“That’s where we camped last night,” I said, pointing across the valley. My voice sounded strained, but I was making an effort to move on from what had just happened. “Right by that rock there.”
“That’s Pinecone Rock. At least, that’s what some of us call it.” It was awkward, but he was making an effort, too. Then he turned to me, surprised. “Wait, were you sitting there this morning?”
“Yeah, why?”
He laughed. “I saw you over there when I was up here this morning.” A couple of other chimera hikers passed us. Del nodded at them, then turned to me, his brow furrowed. “Were you with someone?”
“Part of the time, yeah.” I felt suddenly self-conscious about it, but defiant as well. “Rex was with me.”
Del’s eyes narrowed and his nostrils flared. I could see the predator in him and a momentary tingle of fear passed through me. Then it was gone and he was Del again. I wondered if he was jealous. Then I wondered if I cared.
“He’s a good guy, that Rex,” Del said.
“Yes. He is,” I said. Then I turned back toward the rock, and thought about Rex’s instructions from that morning. “Del, listen. If anything . . . bad happens, that’s where we’re going to meet. At Pine-cone Rock.”
He laughed. “What do you mean?”
“I hope you’re right about Jasper, and this place. But something about it bothers me.” Another hiker came by, a girl with huge lemur eyes. I waited until she had passed, then lowered my voice. “If anything bad happens, meet me there, at that rock.”
“Don’t be silly. Nothing bad is going to happen. Besides . . .” He trailed off, as if he had thought better about finishing that sentence: Besides, you’re leaving tomorrow. “Look, Jasper’s working hard to save chimeras,” he continued. “He rescued me from those poachers. He saved my life, remember?” He stretched out his arms and flexed his muscles. “He paid for this incredible splice to overwrite the one Malcolm botched.” He pointed at the flare atop the coal well. “If you want to worry about someone, worry about those savages in Pitman. That entire town should be wiped off the face of the Earth.”
Once again I was struck by the intensity of his hatred. “Wiped off the face of the Earth?”
“They’re evil,” he said. “I’ve been there. I know. And look at the devastation to the land around them, everything green turned to brown. It even looks like a cancer.”
He was right about that. The brown tinge of death emanating from the town was starkly visible from up where we stood. “That’s what humans do, what they’ve always done. They can’t help themselves. Even now. They’ve seen what happens, but they can’t stop.” He shook his head. “Look at that half-assed coal well. They’re happy to risk their lives—their kids’ lives—just to bring up more stuff to burn, so they can keep killing a world that’s already halfway dead.”
“There are good people down there, too.”
“I doubt it,” he said. Then his head whipped around. “Wait, how do you know?”
“I stopped there on our way here.”
“For God’s sake, why? The whole town’s full of extreme H4Hers. Jimi, you need to watch where you go out there.”
“I know a lot of the things those people say and do are toxic, but deep down, most of the people themselves aren’t evil.” I suppressed a shudder thinking of Andrew, but then I thought of Sammy and the other little kids, and the old couple who found my chimera pin. “Definitely not all of them, anyway.”
Del stared at me. “Did something happen down there?”
“It was nothing.”
He grabbed me by the arm, hard. I could feel the tips of his claws. “Tell me.”
“Let go, you’re hurting me.” I twisted out of his grip.
“Sorry,” he said, “I just . . .” He struggled to find the right words.
I looked down at my arm, at the red scratch marks left by his claws. “Jesus, Del,” I said, taking another step back away from him. He was still searching, but the words hadn’t come to him. I turned and hurried down the trail without him.
SIXTY-SIX
Del caught up with me quickly, but he had enough sense not to say anything until we emerged from the woods.
“Look, I have to go,” he said with a lame forced smile, as if that was some kind of apology. “I’ll see you at dinner in a couple hours, okay?”
I nodded but didn’t say anything. Then he turned and sprinted across the grass with a stride that was impossibly fast and seemingly effortless. He curved around the front of the lodge, and within a few seconds he had disappeared behind it.
I stood at the edge of the lawn, feeling the sun on my face, and inside, an urge to find Rex.
Before I could act on it, someone called my name and I turned to see Ruth, waving as she approached. “I’ve been looking for you,” she said. Then she tilted her head, studying my face. “Are you okay?”
I shrugged.
“What’s the matter? I thought you’d be happy. You found Del, and he’s safe and sound and headed out of harm’s way, away from all this GHA craziness.” Her brow creased. “Did you hear something about Ryan?”
“No, it’s nothing like that.” I smiled, but I wasn’t feeling it. “I’m so glad you’re all okay, I am. It’s just . . . Del’s my oldest friend, and he’s leaving, going for good. You guys, too. I’m going to miss you and Pell and Sly. . . . And Rex.”
She put her arm around my shoulder. “Yeah,” she said softly. “Pell told me about you and Rex.”
“We’re just friends,” I said, pulling away from her. “But I guess we won’t be for long, since you’re all leaving.”
“You could come with us, you know.”
“No, I can’t. I can’t even stay here. Jasper made that pretty clear. Chimerica, or wherever it is you’re going, that’s just for chimeras.”
“You could get a splice,” she said quietly. “Come with us,
then.”
I took a deep breath. The dream I’d had in the bathtub still felt vaguely real, and I wrapped my arms around myself to reassure myself it wasn’t. But . . . it hadn’t felt all bad, being different in that dream. For a moment I wondered if it was a legitimate idea. Maybe the things I’d get to keep meant more to me than the things I’d give up. And there was definitely something to be said for skipping the massive pile of trouble waiting for me at home. The world was getting more and more cruel, for chimeras, especially. In a weird way, that felt more like a reason to do it—get a splice just to show the H4Hers what I thought of them.
But I knew it wasn’t for me. Even apart from what it would do to my mom. The future seemed a lot murkier than it had just a few days ago, but even if Temple University ended up being out of the picture, I knew I still had a better future as a human than I would if I got spliced.
It was scary, how fast things were changing, but I had been changing, too. The things I’d done in the last few days would have been inconceivable to me just a week ago. I was pretty sure I wasn’t done changing, either. Maybe I never would be, and maybe that was a good thing. But I didn’t feel like I needed a splice to alter myself even more.
I hadn’t thought much about it, but I realized I actually liked the person I was.
“No,” I said, before I could think about it anymore. “At least, not right now.”
She nodded, accepting that. “Are you angry at Del?”
“What makes you say that?”
She shrugged, her large eyes blinking. “Just a vibe.” “
I’m upset at him for leaving me. For not telling me he was getting spliced, and then not letting me know he was okay.”
“It’s only been a few days,” she said. “They spliced him super-fast, the fastest I’ve ever seen. But he was still out of it at first. He couldn’t contact you then.”
“He could have afterward. I know it’s not allowed, but he could have found a way if he wanted to.” Ruth nodded but didn’t say anything, so I went on. “I’m also having a hard time getting used to some of his changes. He has even more anger now than before.” I told her about Pinecone Rock, how he had seen Rex and me and his reaction when I told him I’d been in Pitman.
“He hates Pitman. Pell told me you went in there,” she said. “Was it awful?”
I didn’t know what to say. “Parts of it were. In ways it was like any other place. But they were all H4Hers.”
“When Jasper’s team rescued us, we were right outside it. Some of the chimeras here said it was people from Pitman that abducted them. They’re horrible.”
“Some of them are, I guess.”
“I think about what happened to Ryan and I feel sick. I hope he’s okay.”
“Yeah, me too.”
“I don’t know why it is they want to hurt us. I’ve never heard of a chimera hurting a regular person.”
“I have, actually,” I said. “When I was first looking for Del, a chimera named Simon tried to hurt me. Rex saved me. That’s how I met him.”
“I’ve heard of Simon,” she said, nodding slowly as she considered it. “And yeah, I’ve heard he’s bad news.”
“And those guys working for Malcolm weren’t all sweetness and light, either.”
She laughed. “I think they’re just for show, but I see your point.”
“Becoming a chimera doesn’t mean you’re suddenly good, does it?” I asked her.
“No, I guess not.” She sighed.
“But you’re right, I’m sure chimeras are no more likely to hurt anyone than other people.”
“Then why?”
“I don’t know,” I said, thinking of what I’d told Claudia. “People can be afraid of what’s new and different, and for some of those people, the only way they can show their fear is through hatred and violence.”
She laughed. “You think they’re scared of me?”
I laughed, too. I couldn’t think of anyone less scary than Ruth. “Not really, but I think part of that fear is like how I’m scared of losing Del.”
“You don’t have to lose us,” she said. “The only reason we’re going anywhere is because of the H4Hers and all this Genetic Heritage nonsense.”
“It’s not just about going away, it’s about the change itself. You don’t die when you become a chimera, or go away, necessarily, but you do change. People are afraid of losing the person they knew before.”
“You really think Howard Wells and his type have lots of friends who have gotten spliced?”
“No, probably not. But for them, they don’t miss the people who have changed, they miss the world that’s changed.”
She let out an impatient huff. “Everybody changes. The world changes. It happens every day.”
“You’re right. You’re absolutely right. So, how about your folks?” I said, changing the subject. “Do you think they miss you?”
She shook her head. “My mom died when I was little. I doubt my dad’s even noticed I’m gone, much less that I got spliced. How about you?”
I told her about my dad, and about Kevin. “Sometimes it seems like my mom doesn’t notice I’m there. But I’m sure she’s noticed that I’m gone. She’d miss me if I didn’t come back.”
Ruth nodded. She lay back on the grass, and I lay next to her, just looking up at the clouds. I saw one that looked like a fish, and she spotted a bird. Then I spotted a snake with a lion’s head, and she saw a penguin with rabbit ears. We started getting giggly after that, and she pointed at a cloud that didn’t look like anything.
“Look,” she said, “it’s a chipmunk-turtle-jellyfish.” Chimera humor, I guess, but we both thought it was hilarious, and we laughed for a good five minutes. Best laugh I’d had in ages.
When we stopped, I thought again about how much I was going to miss her.
We lay there a little longer, talking more about our families and telling stories about our childhoods. We talked about the zurbs, and she told me how scary they could be for chimeras. I told her about Rockland, about being attacked on the playground there when I was a kid.
Her shining black eyes widened. “I can’t tell you how many stories I’ve heard like that. It even happened to Rex when he was a kid, too,” she said. “He got beat up out in the zurbs.”
“Really?” I hadn’t realized that kind of thing was so common.
She nodded, then looked over toward the lodge and waved. Sly was coming over.
“He doesn’t like to talk about it,” she went on. “I think it was pretty bad. He was out in some neighborhood that was starting to fall apart. It’s amazing how quickly the world can change like that. One day it’s a nice neighborhood, then it’s bad, then it’s not even a neighborhood at all. Just a bunch of empty houses and a few bad people left over.” She laughed. “And maybe some chimeras.”
“Hey,” said Sly, suddenly looking down at us.
Ruth looked up at him, shielding her eyes from the setting sun. “Have you seen Rex?”
I got the feeling she was asking for my benefit.
“He’s asleep,” Sly said, crouching down on his haunches to talk to us. “He only got a couple hours in last night. He relieved me way too early.”
“And he woke me up late,” I said. “Then got up early to sit with me.”
Ruth gave me a knowing smile, but I ignored her.
“Sometimes he seems to think he’s indestructible,” Sly said. “Anyway, he better be up soon, because dinner’s in ten minutes. I was just coming to let you folks know.”
We thanked him for the info and watched as he trotted back to the lodge, but veered over to a small group of girls sitting under a tree. One of them was a fox chimera, too.
Ruth turned to me and studied my face. “We should get ready for dinner. Are you going to be okay?”
It was a big question, but I knew what she meant. I gave her a brave smile. “I’ll be fine.”
SIXTY-SEVEN
The banquet hall was huge, and it was packed with by far the most chimer
as I’d ever seen in one place, and the most exotic ones, too.
Apart from Del, there were several other felines, including a boy with a lion’s mane; a girl who looked part panther, with flashing yellow eyes and a thick black coat; and a handful of tigers. The kid with the rhino horn sat in the corner, with the panda girl and a stunningly beautiful woman with a long neck and a pattern on her skin like a giraffe. There were two zebras and a variety of antelopes, gazelles, and ibexes, with all sorts of horns and antlers. The more exotic chimeras were the centers of attention. The rest included some dogs, wolves, and foxes; a couple bears; and lots of birds of all different types. In the corner was a table of reptiles, who seemed to be mostly keeping to themselves. The sound was deafening, and I thought it was exactly what you’d expect a hall full of wild animals to sound like. Then I realized it was also exactly like the lunchroom at school.
I was at a table with Pell, Ruth, and Sly. They were talking about Ryan, worrying and hoping he was okay. There were two empty chairs, presumably for Del and Rex.
Del was across the room, chatting with a table of girls. One of them was part cheetah. I wondered if it was the girl from Doc Guzman’s. She looked completely recovered.
Del was laughing broadly and grinning, flashing his teeth, like he was trying to charm them. Sly watched him, looking envious. The girls seemed to be falling for it, too, smiling a lot and laughing whenever Del did.
I scanned the room, looking for Rex. I was just starting to worry when he walked in, pausing at the entrance. He looked less haggard and his color had returned.
A couple of the girls Del was talking to looked over at Rex, but he didn’t appear to notice. His eyes swept the room from right to left. When he saw me, he smiled and came over.
I smiled, too.
“You’re alive,” I said. He still looked sleepy.
“I am now. Guess I was more tired than I realized.”
“You slept the whole time?”
