by Casey Peeler
Jade comes in as I pick up my bag. “Hey girl, just wanted to check on you. Are you going to come to class?”
“No. I’ve got to go home and fix some things, but I’ll be okay. When Daisy died today, I kinda lost it on everyone.”
“Including my brother?” she questions.
“Mostly your brother.” She pulls me in for a hug. She doesn’t ask me to explain and when we pull apart she gives me a half smile.
“Call me if you need me, but I promise he’ll understand. Sometimes it’s the people we love the most that get the raw end of the deal.”
“Thanks,” I say as we hug once more and I hurry to the farm.
Looking at the clock, I know I don’t have long before he will be leaving for the day. I can’t get home fast enough, but I have no idea what I’m going to say when I get there.
Barrick
When Cadence left for the studio, I lost my damn mind. I hated seeing her leave without saying goodbye and giving her a kiss. I know I have to give her space but it kills me that I can’t hold her in my arms and make her feel better. I continue to work but I can’t concentrate. All I can do is think about her and what I’m going to do to make her see that she has a choice.
As I take a quick break to cool off, I see Ms. Mae walking toward me.
“Why don’t you call it a day?” she says.
“Thank you,” I say because honestly I need to get out of here.
As I put up a few tools, I hear Ms. Mae talking to Paisley. “I’m sorry about your mama, but we love you ‘round here.” The calf lets out a small sound. “Cadence will be back. I promise you that,” she says as she winks at me.
“I’ll see you in the morning,” I say and hurry to my truck.
Putting my truck in reverse, I have no idea what to do. I sure don’t want to go home because Mom will have a million and one questions about why I’m home early. Realizing I just need to clear my mind, I do what I always do and head to the middle of nowhere.
Arriving in our spot, I realize this might have been a stupid idea. Everything about this place makes me think about her, and all I want to do is clear my mind. Glancing in the back of my truck, I see my old fishing pole. I take it, and my tackle box, and walk down to the little pond.
After baiting my hook, I cast the line and take a seat on the bank. I sit back and take in my surroundings. The peace and quiet does a soul good. I have no idea how long I sit there before I feel a nibble on the line. I reel in the line only to find it took the bait.
I don’t bother putting new bait on; instead, I sit on the bank and watch the ripples in the pond. As they move across the water, all I can see is Cadence’s body swaying in my arms.
Pausing to just listen, I hear the wind in the trees, birds chirping, and an engine. What in the world? Nah. Seeing a frog on the bank, I watch as it catches an insect before jumping into the water, and that’s when I hear my name.
“Barrick!” I hear the sweetest voice I know call for me. Quickly, I move from the bank and into the clearing and that’s when I see her.
Cadence
Where is he? His truck’s here. I’m crazy and shouldn’t have come. I start to turn around and leave when I hear him.
“Cade, wait!” he says, and a smile spreads across my face. Turning to see the smile on his face lets me know everything will be fine. I drop my keys and sprint to him as he jogs to me but I swear it feels as if we’re in slow motion. I can’t get to him fast enough.
As I reach him, his arms extend and I jump into them. His arms wrap around my waist and my legs around his. Looking into his eyes I say, “I’m sorry.”
“Shhh. It’s okay,” he says and places a sweet kiss on my nose before he places me back on the ground. We don’t say anything for a few minutes as we just hold on to one another. When we finally pull apart, he leads me to the pond and he casts his line as we listen to the world around us.
After a few minutes, I know I need to tell him what I came here to say. Taking his hand in mine, I turn to him. “Barrick, I’m sorry I lost it back there. I never meant to hurt you like I did,” I say as tears begin to roll down my face. He takes the reel, and places it on the ground before turning to wipe my tears away.
“Cade, we always hurt the ones we love the most. Just talk to me.” My heart warms thinking about Jade’s words.
“It’s not you. It was never you. You’ve always been there for me and I shouldn’t have tried to push you away. I think I thought if I pushed you away first, I couldn’t get hurt. My dad really hurt me when he left my mom and me. I trusted him to be there and he wasn’t. I didn’t think I’d trust anyone again and then I did. I came here and met you and Jade and learned what real friends were like. I’m still dealing with my dad stuff because every time I’d get used to him not being there, he’d text or do something to make me think things were better. Like he just sent me this great birthday present and it made me happy. Bare, I want to hate him, but what he gave me makes me not hate him.”
Barrick takes me under his arm. “He’s your dad. You’re supposed to love him. Forgiveness is hard, but we have to forgive people.”
“Have to?” I question.
“I don’t want to get all biblical on ya, but that’s the only way I can explain it. We all have done things that aren’t great, but God forgave us. It’s what we are born to do. We have to forgive; it’s the only way to free ourselves from the hold it has on us.”
I sit and ponder a minute. Just as I’m about to speak, I see Barrick’s fishing rod go flying into the water. “What in the world!” I say as he jumps into the water after it. “Are you crazy?” I question as he retrieves it and comes out soaking wet.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to do that. I kinda just reacted without thinkin’.”
“It’s okay. I think I understand what you’re saying, but it’s so hard.”
“If it were easy, it wouldn’t mean as much. Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“What did he give you? It had to be a present money couldn’t buy.” With those words, I know Barrick Carpenter knows me better than anyone else.
“I’ll show you. Get changed and meet me at the barn,” I say, as I stand to leave.
He pulls me into his arms. “I really like-love you. Don’t you ever forget it,” he says.
“I really like-love you too,” I say as we walk to our vehicles.
Chapter 25
Cadence
My heart hurts when Barrick turns at his house. I know he won’t be long, but I have to get all of this out. For the first time, I’m ready to talk and I can’t wait to share everything with Barrick. Hurrying to my room, I grab the box and almost make it out of the door without being seen.
“Hold it young lady!” I hear Gran say abruptly. “Shouldn’t you be at dance?”
“Ms. Lyndsay sent me home. I’m making things right. I promise, Gran.”
She smiles and walks toward me. “I always knew you would. Stop being afraid to let love in. Not everyone is out to get you, and if they are send them my way.”
“Thanks, Gran.”
“For what?” she asks.
“For being my gran,” I say as I hug her with all of my might.
I talk to Paisley while I wait for Barrick. Ten minutes later, he arrives and looks amazing in a worn out t-shirt and worn jeans.
“What y’all talkin’ ‘bout?” he asks as he walks up to her stall.
“I was showing her my wooden box,” I say.
“How about you show us together,” he says as he walks in and takes a seat on the hay.
For the next thirty minutes, I explain each picture and tell him what each memory means to me. When Barrick looks at the note inside, I know what’s coming. He’s going to tell me to forgive and let go. My heart is telling me to do so as well, but I’m scared to death.
“I’ll go with you to see him or be here when you call him. Whatever you want,” he says.
“Thanks.” I take a deep, cleansing breath. “It feel
s as if an elephant just got off of my chest.”
“Imagine what it will be like once you make amends with him.” I know he’s right, but I’m not sure how I’m going to do it yet. He holds me and I let it all soak in. “Hold on a second,” he says as he stands then disappears for a brief moment. When he returns I know he’s up to something. “Come on. There’s something I want you to see.”
Walking outside, I see that the sun is setting and there are fluttering lights in the sky.
“What are those?” I question.
“Lightenin’ bugs.”
“Wow. There are so many of them. It’s amazing,” I say.
“Dance with me,” he whispers as he extends his hand to me.
“What? There’s no music.”
“We don’t need any. Just listen,” he says as he pulls me into his chest. Closing my eyes, we sway to our own beat. The crickets sing with an occasional solo from a cow in the background while I feel his heart beating like a drum against my ear. It flutters to a beat and as it increases, so do our movements. Opening my eyes, I see the flicker of the lightening bugs as the sunset fades to darkness.
I don’t say a word as I take it all in. He pulls me in closer and I don’t ever want to let go. As Barrick rests his chin on the top of my head, a tear escapes my eye. I don’t cry because I’m upset; I cry because his heartbeat makes everything around us fall into rhythm.
“Can we do this forever?” I whisper.
“As long as you’ll let me,” he says, looking me in the eyes. He wipes the single tear from my face and smiles.
As he leans in to kiss me, I try to memorize this moment. When our lips touch, I feel an explosion inside. I meet him with every motion and never want to let go.
“It’s about damn time!” We hear Gran yell from the front porch. We jump apart and start laughing.
“I bet she’s watched the entire show,” I say to him as we rest our foreheads against each other.
“Well, she has been our biggest cheerleader,” he says as he kisses me once more. “Come on, let me walk you in.”
“Do you have to go?” I question.
“I wish I didn’t, but it’s getting late.”
I understand, but that doesn’t mean I like it. “Will you stay while I call my dad?”
“Of course,” he says as he takes my hand and we walk toward the house.
Chapter 26
Cadence
Gran gives us a smile as we walk up the front steps. “Told ya she’d be back,” she says to Barrick. I look at both of them and he shrugs.
“I’m going to make a phone call,” I say to Gran and Mom as we walk inside. I start to walk toward my room when Mom puts a stop to it. Instead, we walk to the back porch and Barrick takes a seat beside me as I find Dad’s number in my contacts and press send.
My heart begins to beat rapidly and when I think it’s going to voicemail, I hear a groggy voice.
“Cade?” he says.
“Hey Dad. Did I wake you?”
“It’s fine. Is everything okay?” he questions.
“Everything’s fine,” I say as Barrick caresses my hand with his thumb. “I just wanted to say thank you for my present. It meant a lot.” I can hear him moving around and can only assume that the bimbo is trying to get her beauty sleep.
“I love you. I’ve finally realized that I can’t buy your love. Cadence, I was always busy, but I always made time for you up until the past five years. I wish I could take it back, but I can’t. Please forgive me.”
As tears fight to escape, I try to make a sound but the words are hard to get out. Finally, they come. “Daddy, I forgive you,” I say as the floodgates open. Barrick comforts me as I hear a sob escape the other end. “Don’t cry, Dad. I didn’t mean to upset you,” I say, starting to panic.
“Upset, I’m not upset. I’m relieved. I’ve been beating myself up over this, Cadence. I’ve never wanted you to feel like I was going to replace you. You are my daughter and I’m proud of you.”
After a pause in the line he speaks again. “Cadence, it’s okay to be happy and believe in others. Hope and love are what make this world go round. Sometimes it takes losing it all to realize what matters the most.”
“I love you, Dad.”
“I love you too. I’ll talk to you soon,” he says as he hangs up.
Barrick holds me tight until I hear footsteps behind us and I know it’s Mom. I stand and walk into her arms and cry happy tears. We might not be a traditional family anymore, but we are a family. I look up at the stars and count my blessings.
Barrick
I’m not an overly emotional guy but hearing Cadence making amends with her dad and then watching Regina support her made me appreciate my family. They might not be perfect but I’m glad we don’t have to deal with these types of struggles. Once Regina goes back inside, I spend a few more minutes with Cadence before going home.
Jade is waiting for me on the front porch. “It’s about time! I was about to wear a hole in these boards from pacin’!” she exclaims. “Please tell me she’s okay? Y’all didn’t break up did you? I don’t know if I could take it.”
As she takes a seat on the swing, I sit beside her. “ I love you, Jade.” She crinkles her nose and looks at me like I’ve grown horns or something.
“You got a fever or somethin’?” she questions.
“No. I just want you to know I love you.”
“Oh lawd! You broke her heart didn’t you?” She starts to stand, and I grab her hand before pulling her back down.
“No! If you’d shut your trap for a second I’d explain.” She daintily places her hands in her lap after acting as if she’s zipped her lips.
“We didn’t break up, but I wanted to let you know I’m thankful for you, Mom, and Dad. We’re lucky, Jade.”
“What do you mean?” She covers her mouth like she didn’t mean to speak and I shake my head at her.
“Our family gets along for the most part, we are good kids, our parents are happy. Heck, they gross us out with how much they love each other. Cadence, on the other hand, has had to deal with a lot.”
I can tell she’s dying to ask another question. So I tell her to go ahead.
“So, what happened today?”
“Daisy, the cow, died and Cadence lost it when it happened.” She interrupts me.
“Wait! I thought she didn’t care about all the farm stuff. What’s up with that?”
“If you’d hold your horses, I’d tell you. The calf is alone. No parent. Get it.”
“Oh! I get it. Why did she get mad at you?”
“I’m not really sure. She said a lot but I think it was my comment about the calf being fine without her mom that set her off.”
“Oh, I see. So it made her think about being without a dad.”
“Yep. And then it snowballed from there. I think she finally let out everything that was bothering her.”
“Well, I’m so glad it all worked out,” she says as she stands to go inside. “I love you too, Bare.”
I sit for a few minutes before going inside and take it all in. It has been an extremely long day. One of fear, loss, anger, hurt, but most importantly, love. As long as you have people around you that love you, nothing else in this world matters.
Chapter 27
Cadence
As my alarm sounds, I roll out of bed, walk downstairs and check on Paisley. I’m impressed to see she’s acting as if she didn’t lose her mother yesterday. I talk to her for a few minutes and then get my chores done quickly. Missing school yesterday probably wasn’t the best idea, but there’s no way I could have made it. Heck, I didn’t even make it through dance.
As I finish up, I wonder where Barrick might be, but I assume he’s just exhausted from last night. Going to the house, I hurry to get ready, take the green smoothie Gran has made me, and walk out the door to find Barrick approaching.
“Hey,” I say as I take a sip of my smoothie. “Want some?” He shivers.
“Nope. Sorry I�
�m late. I overslept and I never do that. Are you okay today?” he asks as he walks me to my vehicle.
“I’m good, thanks to you,” I reply as I wrap my arms around his waist.
“That makes me so happy to hear,” he murmurs as he kisses me and gently tucks me into the driver’s seat of my Range Rover. “Have an amazing day, and I’ll see you this afternoon.”
“I’ll do my best,” I say as he closes my door and waves bye as I exit the driveway.
I can’t wait to see Jade at school. I text her and tell her I need to talk. Of course, she thinks it’s about her brother, but it’s not. I’ve got to figure out what I’m going to do if I’m not going to Boston.
As the bell rings for lunch, I walk to the media center and take a seat at the back computer table.
“What’s up, chica?” Jade asks.
“I need your help.”
Pulling the chair out, she takes a seat. “Hit me with it,” she says.
“So, you know Ms. James has asked me to Boston.” She nods. “Well, I’ve decided I don’t want to go and I want to explore my other options.”
“Are you serious?” she questions.
“I’m not sure touring and dancing with a company are what I want right now. I think I’d rather stay closer to Delight. I looked up the application process for ECU and UNCG in Ms. Lyndsay’s office but I never did anything with the information. What do I do?”
“Come on,” she says, walking toward a computer. She searches several schools, programs, and other options.
“How’d you know to do all this?” She laughs.
“Well, I knew a few things I wanted in a school and started looking last year, so I’ve done a lot of research.”
