by KJ Reed
He wanted her. That wasn’t a new thing for him. Tag chasers, one-night stands, bar bunnies. When he’d been with them, he wanted them too.
No, that wasn’t true. He wanted the release, and as much as it made him sound like an ass, they were a vessel to the end result. Not that they’d likely mind hearing that one bit. He fulfilled his temporary duty in their lives as well. Filled part of a lonely night or a minute or two of security. He doubted any of those women wanted him for more than a fuck any more than he wanted them.
More than that, he liked Sarah. Those other women had never stuck around long enough to know whether like would enter the picture. God knows love was never even possible before.
And that one little kernel of truth stopped him colder than the bitching wind. Love. No, definitely not love. He wasn’t in love. He barely knew Sarah.
But was there a possibility there? Is that why he was fighting the thought so hard? Because this time, it might actually be an option?
Pete’s phone rang and a quick check showed it was Trav, his best friend. His family. He debated it for a moment then decided he would welcome the respite from his own mental ramblings and flipped the phone open.
“Hey, man, what’s up?”
“Goodwin. What’s up in the wilds of Montana?”
“Minnesota,” Pete corrected.
“Uh huh. How goes the break?”
Pete’s mind went back to where he was only an hour before. Warm, sated, completely content in bed with his arms around Sarah. “It’s going. The Millers are solid people.”
“I remember Miller. Good guy. When do you head back?”
“Couple of days. I want to make sure I have some time to relax before I have to sign back in to the battalion. How are things out on the homestead?”
“We’re doing well. We’re— Stop that. Hush.”
“What?”
“Sorry,” Trav said. “Someone over here is trying to speed the convo along.”
Pete smiled as he opened the door to the guest house he was sharing with Tony. That someone could be none other than Trav’s girlfriend, Ariel. Sweet, sassy and an overall awesome woman, she’d snared Trav on a trip home the year before and Trav hadn’t looked back since. “Tell Ariel I said hi.”
“Pete says hi. Anyway, one of the main reasons I was— Yes, I’m telling him! Shush!” There was a thump, a muffled curse and then a resigned sigh.
“Pete? Hi!” Ariel squealed.
“Hey, sweets. What’s going on?”
“Well, we have news. Which is what Trav was attempting to lead into with the speed of a three-legged turtle.”
He chuckled and dropped down on the sofa. No sign of Tony, which meant he likely was at the main house talking his mom into cooking him brunch. Pete’s stomach rumbled, reminding him he needed to make a trip inside for food himself.
“What’s the news?”
“We’re getting married.”
Married. His best friend was making the ultimate commitment. He didn’t doubt Trav’s choice of bride. Ariel was as solid as they came. But the permanence… He had zero experience with it and wouldn’t even know where to begin. But if Trav was willing to take the leap…
“I’m happy for you guys. Thank God Trav is ready to make an honest woman out of you.”
Ariel laughed. “I wasn’t in any rush. Anyway, we’re keeping it pretty low-key, having the ceremony in the gardens at the camp and the reception in the dining hall. Small crowd.”
Ariel’s family owned a summer camp for children, which they also rented out during the off-season to companies who wanted a corporate retreat location. The extra revenue from those went into scholarships so more underprivileged children could attend summer camp.
“Sounds just like you guys.”
“If all goes well with looking for Trav’s sister, it’s going to be some time in the spring. Before the major push to prep for summer campers gets started. Will you be here in the country in the spring? Oof!” Another grunt and then Pete heard Trav’s voice.
“Are they going to give you that instructor spot like you hoped?”
“Nothing’s sure yet, but fingers crossed. I’ll find out more when I get back. How goes the great sister search?”
There was a long pause, and then, “Might have a lead. The investigator found out she got married. My baby sister is married.” His voice was partially awed, partially blind shock.
“She’s like, twenty-four now, isn’t she?” Pete reminded him gently.
“Twenty-five. Doesn’t matter. I’m her brother. I should have been there when she got married. How could I not even know my sister was married?”
“Trav…” There was nothing he could say to alleviate his friend’s grief and guilt. “You’ll find her. And it’ll be all right.”
Trav cleared his throat. “Right. Well, it’s a lead anyway. Which is a plus. So are you coming to see us any time soon?”
Pete didn’t question the quick shift in topic. “Maybe in a few weeks, for Thanksgiving.”
“Thanksgiving sounds good. You’re always welcome, you know that.”
“We love you, Pete!” he heard Ariel call out in the background.
“Yeah, that,” Trav added with a chuckle. “Enjoy the rest of your leave. And call us more often, you dickhead.”
“Hey,” Pete said quickly. “Did you get a name for your sister? The married name, I mean. I could get into the system and see if I could find him. You know, if he was in the military. Probably a long shot but—”
“He’s not. I already had it checked. Seems like he joined some sort of band or something. Anyway, it’s Cassidy. How crazy is that? Sarah and I don’t even share a last name anymore.”
Trav droned on but all Pete could hear was a buzzing noise. A high-pitched ringing. No. No fucking way. There was no way. His life could not be that fucked up.
“Yeah, listen buddy,” Pete interrupted. “I’m going to have to call you back later. Something came up. Out.” He closed the phone with a snap, knowing Trav would be pissed, but wouldn’t call back.
It couldn’t be. There was no way. No way in hell that something that random could possibly match up.
Of course it did. Look at Trav and Ariel. A freak wrong number turned into an engagement.
But Sarah was such a common name. There were hundreds of thousands of Sarahs across the country. And Cassidy wasn’t that abnormal either. It was all one big mistake. One misunderstanding. He would call, she’d set it straight and they could laugh about it later.
He dialed her number, the one she’d given him before he left, and then remembered she should be at work. He almost hung up when he heard her breathless, “Hello?”
“Hey. Sorry, forgot you should already be at work.”
“I am, but it’s dead right now. I ducked back into the storage to answer when I saw it was you.”
Pete’s stomach clenched with dread, but he soothed it by repeating his for-the-moment mantra. It’s not her. It’s not her. “I won’t keep you long. I just had a question.”
“Okay, what is it?”
Pete could hear a pot clang in the background, someone yelling something. She must be near the kitchen. He started to say he would call her later, but that would make him chickenshit. “I was just curious. Is Cassidy your maiden name?”
“Uh, no. No it’s Donovan. I wanted to change it but I didn’t have the time and then it just sort of slipped my mind. Wait, why?”
Pete opened his mouth, but nothing came out.
“Is this about my divorce? I told you, that was years ago. I haven’t even talked to the jackass in forever.”
Sarah droned on, but the buzzing sound was back. Pete forced his voice to remain calm, something he didn’t feel. “I was just curious. I’ll let you get back to work.”
“Pete. What’s going on? Why the sudden curiosity in my marriage? It’s over. Do you believe me?”
Pete paused. He shouldn’t. But he had to figure out what to do. It might not be a bad idea to feel
the situation out.
“Yeah. I do.”
* * * * *
Sarah wasn’t sure what to expect that night, waiting for Pete to come over. The phone call she took during work had shaken her confidence. He’d sounded so quiet, so reserved. So not the Pete she’d met in the last week. But he had agreed to come over.
Sarah pushed the milk back, inching it over just a little in the fridge. After working her butt off at the bar, she still hadn’t relieved the stress from his call. So she did what always soothed her. She cleaned. Deep cleaning the small kitchen gave her a sense of accomplishment, a sense of control. This, at least, she knew would stay nice and neat.
The knock sounded just as she finished washing her hands. Perfect. She wiped her hands on the towel and walked to the door. She was determined to get them back to the same high they ended the morning on. And she knew how to do it.
She smiled—one she didn’t have to fight for—when she saw Pete standing on the porch. Hands in his pockets, he looked uncertain. Maybe he was just not sure how she would react after their evening together.
Sarah threw her arms around his neck and squeezed. After a moment, he returned her embrace. He nuzzled into her neck, breathing deep, as if he were trying to keep her scent with him.
“Hey,” she said. “What’s going on?”
He didn’t answer, just stepped over the threshold still holding on and closed the door behind them with his foot. Sarah didn’t say another word. For who knew what reason, he needed this comfort, and she would give it.
Finally he pulled away and sighed. “One of those days.”
Sarah could have questioned him, but his clenched jaw, the weary look in his eye told her he was on lockdown. So she would do the next best thing. She took his hand and led him to the bed. They sat together and she rubbed a hand down his arm. Taking a chance, she said, “I missed you today.”
He gave her a side glance, surprise edging out the wariness in his eyes. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” He didn’t resist when she pushed his shoulder to lie flat on the bed. She pressed a kiss to his cheek, another under his ear, working around his jaw.
“You know, I think we could—”
“Shh.” She cut off his words with a kiss. Anything he had to say, they could talk about later. He was unresponsive for a moment, then a deep rumble from his chest sounded and he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her over his body. It was like lying across stone, his body was so hard. Especially one bit of anatomy she was particularly interested in. She wiggled her hips and he thrust back, his denim-covered cock pressing into her groin.
Maybe later they’d get to that. But first, she had payment in mind. A little thank-you for the morning wake-up call. She slithered down his body, not letting an inch of space between them, until she could unbuckle his belt and tug his jeans and boxers down his thighs. His cock sprang free, lying against his stomach. He lifted up to help her push the jeans down to his calves.
“Sarah, I—”
“Nope. I don’t want to hear it.” She bit the inside of his thigh and he hissed in a breath. “I want to do this for you. So you’ll shut up and like it,” she said with a grin.
Pete closed his eyes and muttered something that sounded like “God help me,” but she didn’t stop to confirm. Instead she took little nibbling bites all around his erection, making sure to miss the appendage completely. His hips rotated, trying to find her mouth, but she pressed a palm down to keep him still.
Sarah drifted lower until her chin rested in the line between his thighs. Without thinking she drew a path with her tongue up between his balls.
“Jesus!”
Sarah paused, but could tell by the way his hands fisted in the bedspread the expletive was a very positive response.
With one hand she pulled his cock away from his stomach. Resting on her elbows, she licked the tip like an ice-cream cone. Just enough to make him squirm, way too little to make a dent in the tension he was carrying. His head was back all the way. She could see the strong line of his throat as he swallowed, the square cut of his jaw. But not his eyes.
She took his cock in as far as possible, using her fist to cover the rest of his length, then sucked. Each pass she increased the pressure, then she would change the pace. Inching down and up, followed by a few quick passes had Pete groaning curses. If her lips weren’t wrapped around his shaft, she’d have smiled.
Pete gave up the battle and threaded his fingers through her hair. When she glanced up, he was staring at her.
“Swallow it,” he rasped. “All the way.”
The thought was intimidating. What did he think she was, some super-star porn magnet? But after one failed attempt, and Pete’s soothing encouragement, she swallowed as she went down, and the fear slipped away.
“Holy mother of—” Pete’s head dropped back again. He was close, she could feel it. Taking her free hand, she cupped his balls and ran a thumb down the middle, massaging them in time with her suction.
“Oh fuck. That’s it. That’s—” He didn’t finish before Sarah felt the warm streams of come slide down the back of her throat. She sucked and licked until he was done. Pete seemed unable to move, so she shifted until she could pull the covers over them. Curling up on her side next to Pete, she rested one hand on his chest. The even beat of his heart, the rise and fall of his deep breathing was a comfort like nothing she’d had before.
* * * * *
An hour later, Pete woke to the smell of lavender, the feel of a soft body pressed against his, and too many thoughts to process.
They were still dressed. Christ, they hadn’t even taken the time to get undressed. Well, his pants were chilling around his ankles, but the rest of them was fully clothed.
He shouldn’t have let that happen. Not with everything so up in the air, so unbalanced. But the look she’d given him. Just the feel of her arms around him after the end of a long day. He’d been undone. He didn’t want to give it up. Give up the comfort, the intimacy they were working toward.
Pete let his hand stroke Sarah’s hair absently. She stirred then settled, her breath fanning his neck. Never did he think sharing a bed with someone, having them invade his space, would be such a luxury. One he was loath to lose.
Maybe he wouldn’t have to. Things might get fucked up at first, but Trav was his best friend. He knew that whatever happened in the past, whatever mistake Trav made with his sister, it was unintentional. He wasn’t the kind of guy to ditch and run.
But Sarah… Sarah was still an unknown. Something he’d like to change. Because whatever happened, the possibility of more wasn’t something he was ready to forfeit.
Sarah shifted again and rolled over, her eyes sleepy. “Hey. You’re thinking so loud you woke me up,” she teased. “What’s going on?”
Here was his chance to explain. Set the record straight.
But he couldn’t. He wasn’t a good enough man for that. There was a pliant, willing woman in his arms. A woman he wanted for more than just one night. And likely after the shit hit the fan, he wouldn’t have another night with her for a while. It couldn’t be all that bad to indulge for one more night, steal away a few more memories before he had to step back and figure out the solution.
Decision made, Pete decided that tonight was for making love, and tomorrow was for having a chat. He fiddled with the neckline of Sarah’s sweater. “I’m just wondering what you have going on under this sweater.”
She smiled and gave him a coy look. “Long johns,” she joked.
“That would be a crime against man,” he sighed. With lightning speed, he flipped her so she was under him, giggling. “I hope you were ready for a long night. Because that little display you put on was only an appetizer, as far as I’m concerned.”
Sarah bit her lip and looked to the side before stage whispering, “Can I tell you a secret?”
He nodded, wondering where it was going.
She scooted until she was away from his grip and opened the nightstand drawer. Then
she tossed a bottle onto the bed between them.
Pete picked up the cool tube and turned it. Yup, it’s exactly what he thought it was. Lube.
“Sarah.” He looked up, saw her cheeks on fire. But her eyes were steady. “Are you asking for—”
“Yes.”
Chapter Six
Why was asking for something so hard?
Of course the “something” wasn’t a cookie or anything so simple. Maybe it was supposed to be hard. Because if you managed to ask without burning up in a fire of embarrassment, you really wanted it. And she wanted Pete. Oh God, she wanted him in every way possible. She trusted him to take care of her. And she wanted him to leave with something special in his mind. A memory that wouldn’t easily be forgotten.
She wouldn’t easily forget him.
Pete sucked in a breath and then with the speed and agility of a cheetah, rolled her over to lay under him.
Sarah waited for the clothing to be torn off. The hands to roam. The frantic need to claw at them. But instead he stood, his eyes never leaving her face.
“What?” She wiped a hand across her face self-consciously.
“You’re just beautiful.”
The words were stark, simple. But there was a complex honesty behind them that made her want to cry. Honesty was one of the things she admired most in him.
Instead, she joked, “You’re not too bad yourself, Marine. Now come down here and give me some attention.”
He shed his shoes and shirt, leaving his jeans on. She took the opportunity as he crawled over her body to admire his golden skin. She learned what she originally thought was a tan turned out to be a gift from a mixture of Greek and Italian heritage. She traced a pattern of thin scars that led from his shoulder down to cover one pectoral.
“What are these from?”
“Razor blades.” When her mouth dropped open, he shrugged and kissed her. “Foster care sucks. What can I say? Sometimes the biological kids take it badly when a new foster kid shows up.”
Sarah’s eyes watered, thinking of the boy being subjected to something so cruel.
