“Well, I leave you two ladies to it. I know I have some project around here I can start on.”
“Or finish,” my mother said, again in her sarcastic tone. “I do believe there is a leaky faucet that has yet to be completed.”
That was my father’s cue. He disappeared down the hall, and I gathered myself before a tear fell from my eyes.
“Well, I guess, I’ll unpack.”
While I rolled one of my suitcases to the bed, my mother sat on the other side. As I unzipped the suitcase and began unpacking clothes, my mother sat silently, staring. I couldn’t tell if her expression was one of love or concern. It was probably both.
I tried not to make eye contact, because I didn’t want to have this conversation yet. But I knew my mother. She wasn’t the type who would avoid anything.
“Baby, you can do that later. Sit down right here,” she said, patting a space on the bed next to her. “Sit here and talk to your mama.”
I had no choice. I did what she asked me to do.
“What’s up, Mom?” I tried to sound nonchalant, like I didn’t know what this conversation was going to be about.
“Your father and I are really glad you decided to come home for a while. We’ve really missed you.” She hugged me again.
“I’ve missed you guys too. Life in L.A. has just been really hectic, so I wasn’t able to come back like I used to, but I’m glad to be here now.” I pretended that that was all my mother wanted to talk about. I jumped up, acting like unpacking was the most important thing in the world that I had to do.
“About that . . . ,” my mother said, shutting down my hopes not to have this conversation. “What exactly happened with you and King?”
I took a deep breath. I knew her thoughts, and I understood her concerns. I really just wanted to forget this whole subject altogether. It was hard enough reminiscing about the past in my head, but talking about it out loud seemed to be too much to bear right now.
She said, “I mean, you moved in with him after a short period of time, we’ve heard from you less and less since you met him, you completely abandoned your dreams of being a journalist, he got you pregnant without marriage, and then, all of a sudden, he’s gone.” She shook her head, as if she couldn’t believe her own words. “Your father and I are very . . . uncomfortable about all of this. About him.”
I was absolutely fine . . . until my mother mentioned my pregnancy. Though it had been weeks, losing my baby had left a hole in my heart, and I wasn’t yet sure how exactly to tell my parents what had happened.
I looked down at my stomach, and I realized that telling my mother wouldn’t hurt a thing. In fact, it might help. That would be one thing that she and my dad could take off the “We hate King” list.
Taking her hand, I said, “About the baby, Mom . . .” I held my breath and closed my eyes. “I’m not pregnant anymore. I had a miscarriage.”
When I opened my eyes, the look of shock on my mother’s face brought fresh tears to my eyes.
She might have reservations about the way I went about my relationship with King, but she could feel my loss, and she could feel my pain. She was a mother, so she knew what this had done to me.
“Oh, baby, I am so sorry.” She squeezed my hands. “What happened?”
I shrugged, as if it had all been natural. “Just didn’t go to full term, that’s all.” I definitely wasn’t going to get into the details. Not if I wanted my parents to someday forget about this whole thing. They would never understand. They would never be able to move on the way I was planning to.
“How are you feeling?”
“I’m doing okay. It’s been hard, but King was there for me.” I paused as I thought back to those days and how Donovan had been the one who really took care of me.
My mother smirked, as if she didn’t believe my words. Or maybe she just didn’t want to hear them. “So why did you leave the man?”
“Look, Mom, King isn’t perfect. I understand that, but he’s a good man. We just had our differences.”
I guess my mother didn’t want to hear my defense of King anymore. She sighed and stood. “If that’s what it was, then we’ll leave it at that. You know we only want what’s best for you. To be happy. To have a fulfilled life.”
“I know, Mom, and I want the same thing.”
We stared at each other in a moment of silence.
Then my mother acquiesced, a little. “I’m not saying I like him, but if you’re happy, then I’m happy.”
“Thank you, Mom.”
She gave me a quick hug before she moved toward the door. Turning around, she added, “Just know that if it doesn’t work out, we’ll always be here.” And with that, she was gone.
Actually, that turned out to be a good talk for me. Even though I knew it, I needed to hear that my parents still loved me in spite of how I’d handled my life over the past year and a half. I was feeling better about this trip already. Donovan and Leslie had been right. The support and care of my family were exactly what I needed.
I walked to my window and stared out into the backyard, where I’d had thousands of hours of wonderful playtime. The memories made me smile.
I was home. Home sweet home.
Chapter 30
I felt so much love from my family while I was back at home. I should have known the moment I told my mother I was coming home that she would call everyone who had ever known me. Aunts and uncles came by to see how the California girl was making it back in little ole Ohio. Cousins who I grew up with took me out on the town to show me the new things that had been built and the hot spots they kicked it at now. My first cousin Tamara introduced me to her husband, Matt, and their little girl, Hazel.
“I’m so sorry I missed the wedding.” I told her, admiring her beautiful one-year-old.
“Girl, please. We did a courthouse wedding. I didn’t want that added stress,” Tamara replied.
It was surreal that my cousin who had sworn she would never get married was a wife and a mother. In that moment my heart fell to the pit of my stomach. I knew that at least half of what she had would never come true for me.
As good as it was seeing family, I was so glad that it was just my parents and me today. Saturdays were usually our days for the three of us. My father cooked his famous chocolate chip and pecan waffles, which he served with eggs and Canadian bacon. It had absolutely been my favorite meal since I was three. My dad was the king of breakfast, and I felt like a kid again as I stuffed my face.
Afterward, my mother and I broke out a thousand-piece puzzle and played oldies on the stereo. Marvin Gaye’s sultry voice rang out, and it put me in such a great mood. I had always had a real connection with his music. I really thought Marvin and I had had a love affair in a past life.
My mother and I were sitting at the dining room table, singing along to “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough,” putting puzzle pieces together, when the doorbell rang. I popped up and then sang and bopped to Marvin and Tammi all the way to the door. I opened the door, and immediately I felt the blood drain from my face.
“Hello, beautiful.”
I couldn’t move. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t form words to come out of my mouth. All I was able to do was stand there. Surely, this wasn’t real. Surely, I was dreaming, because I thought I had left my past back in Malibu.
“What are you doing here, King?” I managed to finally get out.
“I missed you.”
“How did you even know where my parents live?”
He didn’t answer at first. He just smiled slightly, as if to say, “That’s for me to know and you to find out.” Finally he said, “I was hoping maybe we could talk.”
“Why? Didn’t we talk enough in California?” I finally got some movement back in my body and crossed my arms.
“No, we argued in California. I don’t want to do that anymore.” When I didn’t respond, he continued. “I know that there is absolutely no reason for you to talk to me ever again, but I was hoping that you would.”
I took a moment to weigh my options. I couldn’t imagine what else King had to say to me. Everything he said to me was starting to sound the same as I looked back on it. What was going to be so different this time? I looked at him, and I could tell he had been crying. His hair looked like it hadn’t been cut in weeks, and his clothes were wrinkled. It was the first time I had seen King looking like a bum. I sighed and then went to go put on some shoes. I figured if anything went wrong, I had my father here. I came out and closed the door behind me, and we began to walk down the street.
“So how you been?” I could hear the nervousness in his voice.
“Better, actually.”
“I’m glad.”
“I’m really not interested in small talk, King. What did you come here for?”
“You.” He stopped dead in his tracks and turned toward me, gently grabbing both of my hands. “I came because I can’t live without you.”
“King, we have been through this before.”
“This is different, Heiress.” I rolled my eyes. “I’m serious. I’ve realized how bad I’ve treated you, and I don’t blame you for leaving, but I need you.”
I had to admit this was the first time I had heard this.
“You are the only thing in my life that actually makes sense,” he continued.
“King, there are a lot of things that are seriously wrong with our relationship.”
“I know, and I’m willing to fix all of them. I want to be, again, the man that you fell in love with.”
I actually wanted to believe that. I missed those days when we first started dating and he was everything dreams were made of. I would love to see that man again. I just didn’t know if he would ever show back up.
“I do miss that guy,” I said, toning down some of my attitude. I didn’t know why I was letting my guard down, but it was becoming extremely hard to keep it up.
“I can be him. I am him. I admit, I let some things go to my head, but I’ve changed.”
That statement made me laugh out loud. “In a week?”
“Okay, I’m changing, but it is for the better. Heiress, you are the best thing that has happened to me. Please reconsider my proposal. Come home.”
I didn’t know if it was the sincerity in his voice or the fact that he had actually come after me, but I was starting to rethink it all. I did still love him. I started shifting my weight from one foot to the other. I looked deep in his eyes, and I began to crumble.
“So what happens if I do give you another chance?”
“We can start over.”
“There need to be changes, King.” The stern tone in my voice really had his attention.
“I promise. Is that a yes?”
“I’m willing to start over.”
He flashed me a big smile, like I had just told him he’d won the lottery. He reached down in his pocket and pulled out the ring he had offered to me back in California.
“King, I said I’d start over. I don’t think we’re ready to get engaged.”
“I want to marry you. We can start over, but I need you to be my wife.”
He slipped the ring on my finger, and I just stared at it. Was I really ready for this? I felt like King had realized how awful he could be to me sometimes and wanted to change. I shook my head to reassure him that I was on board, and he kissed me passionately.
Going back to the house for formal introductions was tough. My parents weren’t too happy to meet King and less happy that in ten minutes I’d gone from being single to getting engaged.
My father asked, “Have you really thought about this? Marriage is a big commitment.”
“Of course we’ve thought about this,” I said. It was sort of a lie, because it had all happened so quickly for me. “We still have things we have to talk about and work out, but—”
My mother interrupted me. “I can’t believe you would just rush into something like this without talking to us.”
The words were barely out of my mother’s mouth when my father jumped in. “Baby, this is a big step. Are you sure this is what you really want?”
The questions were coming from the left, then the right. They were being thrown at me like I was in a batting cage with a gone-haywire ball machine. I couldn’t possible hit every one, and it was becoming overwhelming.
“Okay, both of you, please stop,” I told them. I took a breath and looked around. The expressions on the faces that looked back at me were a mixture of confusion, shock, and disappointment. “Guys, I love you and I respect your opinions, but at the end of the day, this is my life.”
I grabbed King’s hand to make a statement to my parents. “I am an adult, and I have to make my own decisions. King has offered me the world, and I plan on taking it. So, yes, we are getting married, and that is that. I hope you can be happy for me, but if not, this is still something that I’m going to do.”
I stepped away from them and ran to my room. Closing the door behind me, I fell across my bed. I didn’t cry, but the pressure that I felt on me at this moment made it hard for me to breathe.
Life and love shouldn’t be this difficult.
There was a light tap on my door, and then my father called, “Baby girl, are you okay?”
I didn’t look up, but I heard my door open, then close. This was a familiar scene. As a little girl, whenever I ran to my room, my father was the one who was always right behind me, checking to make sure that I was fine.
I stayed in the same position, facedown on the bed; I didn’t move at all.
“Baby, come on. Sit up and talk to me.” He sat on the bed, pulled me up, and held me in his arms. “You know what the best day of my life was?”
“My birth,” I answered, unenthused. This lecture always started out the same way, with that question.
“Absolutely. The day you were born was the happiest day of my life. You were so little and innocent, and I knew that for the rest of my life I had to make good decisions, because I had this beautiful little girl who would depend on me for the rest of her life. Sometimes, while your mother slept, I would take you in my arms and have deep conversations with you.”
“Really?” I said, now a little more interested, since I’d never heard this version before.
“Absolutely. I promised you that no matter what, nothing and no one would ever hurt you because I would always be there to protect you. And up until now I’ve done a pretty good job.”
I would agree with that. My father had always been there to protect me. The first time I could remember was when I was six years old and Edward Taylor pushed me off the swing set at the park. My father ended up in a scuffle with his father over the whole thing. That day I was sure he was Superman.
“You remember that Taylor kid?”
It was as if he’d just read my mind, and all I could do was laugh.
He continued with, “I understand that you’re an adult and that you can make your own decisions. But I will always be the man who made that promise to always protect you. So all I’m here to do at this point is make sure that you’re okay and happy.” He paused, as if he wanted to really think about his next words. “And I’m sorry, baby girl, but I don’t get that feeling from you with King.”
Why were people always saying that? “I am happy, Daddy,” I insisted. “King loves me.” I looked him dead in his eyes so he could see the truth for himself. “And I love him.”
“I hope so, baby girl. You know your mother and I will support whatever decision you make, but understand you have a man here who will always love you more than anyone ever could. I loved you before you were even born.”
“I know, Daddy.” I laid my head back on his shoulder, and he rubbed my back, giving me comfort.
“Just be careful with this man. You have already sacrificed so much of your life. Don’t lose all of who you are.” He kissed me softly on my forehead and then left me alone with his words and those thoughts still hanging in air.
There was one point that my dad had just made that I coul
dn’t ignore. I had sacrificed a lot for King. I’d traded in my dreams for this glamorous life.
Standing, I grabbed my purse and pulled out my engagement ring, which I’d tucked away in the side pocket. I twisted the ring in the air, letting the light hit the diamond so that it glittered. This ring was proof that King was ready wholeheartedly for this relationship.
My parents were wrong, and I was right. I lay across my bed and admired the ring until I fell asleep.
Chapter 31
As much as I loved my parents, a few weeks with them under these circumstances was long enough. I wanted to get King back home, in his own environment, before my father took him out hunting and then returned without him.
I decided to call a cab to take us to the airport, sparing my parents—and us—that thirty-minute ride in uncomfortable silence. When the cab arrived, King said good-bye to my parents, then rushed outside, as if he couldn’t get away fast enough. At least it gave me a few moments alone with my parents.
“I promise I’ll do a lot better with calling . . . and visiting,” I told them as I hugged my mother first. I felt like she was trying to squeeze the life out of me, and when she pulled back, there were tears in her eyes already.
“I love you so much, little girl.”
“I love you too, Mom.”
When she stepped aside, my father stepped up. He studied me like he was taking his last look. This was the way he looked at me on the day that I got on the plane to go to college. It was like he was taking mental notes, or trying to take a mental picture that he could keep. Then he grabbed me and held me tight.
I loved my father’s hugs; he always made me feel five years old again. His arms were my safe place, my protection.
“Just remember what I told you, baby girl,” he whispered in my ear. “Don’t lose yourself.”
We gave each other a kiss on the cheek and then stepped away from our grasp. I left my parents standing on their porch, and when the cabdriver pulled off, I couldn’t hold back my tears.
But King was right there, comforting me, wiping the tears from my cheeks. Then he held my hand, not letting go until we got to the airport.
Strange Addiction Page 18
