Chapter Three
Cara put herself back together and then had not one, but two drinks before she finally left the party with Meredith. When she found her the girl’s hair was as mussed as Cara imagined her own was. Cara was tipsy and removed her heels after they collected their purses and walked out the front door into the chill of the early morning hours. A long line of glistening black cars were waiting, and guests and girls were dropping into them. Doors would shut, the car would drive away, and the line would move forward. Meredith got into one of the town cars and Cara slid in beside her.
“Holy shit, what a night!” Meredith laughed and collapsed back against the seat before turning and grinning at Cara, then she froze. “Oh my God, Cara, did you actually do something?!”
“Um—” Cara fumbled with her words as the car pulled out into the empty street.
“Look at you! Lipstick gone, hair a mess, cheeks all flushed, did you?! Tell me! Oh my God, you have to tell me!” Meredith’s voice was high pitched and energetic, and impossible to ignore.
“Yes? I did do stuff - wait, didn’t you? Did you do things?” Cara suddenly felt self-conscious, but Meredith just laughed, stretching against the seat.
“Yes.” Meredith glanced at her and huffed. “Don’t look at me like that. Remember, you didn’t have to do anything.” She smiled again. “But maybe now you’ll get another invitation.”
It was true. Meredith was right. Cara hadn’t had to do anything. Saif had given her several opportunities to turn him down, to tell him to stop, even Grant had asked. A cold wash of reality hit her. Now that they were out of the club, in the quiet of the car, with the street lights passing by - it all made what she’d done in the club seem foolish, a terrible decision. A really hot, intense, incredibly sexually gratifying — but still very bad — decision. Who did she think she was? Her panic only grew as the car moved through the streets.
She groaned and Meredith raised an eyebrow at her. “Don’t freak out. Seriously. Please?”
“I’ve never — oh my God — what did I do?” Cara whined and buried her face in her hands, leaning forward to fold over her knees. What if someone there knew her? Or saw her while she was out? What if they said something?
“Shit. It’s okay! Shh, shh!” Meredith rubbed her back and mumbled a curse as they finally pulled up in front of their apartment. Cara was doing her best not to hyperventilate as the driver leaned back and handed Meredith two thick envelopes. “Come on, Cara, let’s go upstairs. Come on.”
They did, and Meredith was finally able to calm her down, explaining that there was nothing wrong with enjoying yourself. Cara had enjoyed herself right? Right? Her body responded with a resounding ‘yes!’, while her brain was so fuzzy and confused it basically ignored the question.
Meredith helped her out of the dress, made her wash her face and then put her into bed. She left the thick envelope on Cara’s desk and then stumbled out of her room. Meredith wasn’t exactly sober herself. For a while Cara couldn’t let go of her nerves, or the panic that someone might recognize her. No research lab would ever hire her if this got out.
But she had enjoyed herself.
She had come so hard, but it had been wrong. Right? People weren’t supposed to just have sex, with strangers, in public. That wasn’t normal, was it? It wasn’t right, but it had been amazing. Her mind wouldn’t stop arguing with itself, or with her body, or the heat that was coiling between her thighs at just the memory of Saif’s voice, hands, lips. She thought she might never sleep again, her head spinning with worst case scenarios, and best case scenarios — but then sleep took her without warning.
In her dream Saif was standing over her and she was kneeling, his hand stroked her hair, tilted her chin up. His dark eyes burned into her, and even in the dream she was squirming at the idea that he might touch her again. He didn’t speak, he just leaned down and kissed her. It sparked a fire inside her, made heat flood her, pooling between her legs. His hand twisted in her hair and snapped her head back. A whimper rose up from her and he smiled.
Then she woke up.
Her panties were soaked, she was sawing her thighs together, and her heart was racing. Sunlight poured through her windows, and she was nursing only a mild hangover.
“You are such an idiot.” Cara groaned and covered her head with her pillow, arching her back as she tried to ignore the wetness between her thighs, the memory of Saif’s touch. “Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.”
She dragged herself out of bed and jumped in the shower to wash the night off of her. Damp hair tugged into a ponytail, she ignored her reflection because she was worried she’d somehow look different after everything. Then she was back in her regular tank top, sweat pants, and was comfortably curled up in front of her desk while she worked on a paper due next week.
Time to work.
Chemical bonds. Saif had kissed her when Grant — Regioselectivity. Professor Stanton. He had said he wanted to fuck her. No one said things like that to her. How had she only written two-thousand words? She’d been writing for hours. Saif had said she was meant for another party. Cara had meant to borrow that book on this section. What party did he mean? This paper would go so much faster with that book. What would he do with her, to her, if she called?
A moment later she had lunged for the clutch she’d carried the night before and dumped it on the bed, pulling out the unique little business card and reading the phone number off the back.
Automated ringing trilled over the line. Her body tense with nerves.
A soothing female voice spoke clearly, “Thank you for your call. Please leave a message after the tone.” A soft beep sounded.
“Um, hi.” Cara rolled her eyes at how awkward she already sounded, where had the sex goddess gone? Saif had obviously taken her with him. “It’s Cara, um, I’m Cara. I met Saif last night, and he told me to call.” She hated how nervous she sounded, but she forced herself to rattle off her address and phone number twice and then she hung up. For a moment she just stared at the phone in her hand. What had she done? She sat for a long time waiting for the phone to ring, as if Saif had been waiting for her call. As if she was important enough for someone to—
The phone rang. The Black Keys pulsing out of the tiny speaker as she stared at it in shock. Pressing the answer button she fumbled and raised it to her ear. “Hello?”
“Good afternoon,” a pleasant female voice, like an executive secretary from a movie, “Is this Cara?”
“Um, yes. Yes, I’m— This is Cara.” Smooth.
“Wonderful. Before we move forward with anything, there is a survey we need you to respond to. Do you have about twenty minutes?” The smooth voice was clinical, detached, but professionally polite.
“Okay.” Cara tapped the return key on her keyboard a few times watching the blinking black cursor hop down from line to line.
“Thank you.” The sound of shuffling papers filled the line and then the woman’s pleasant voice was back. “To make this go as quickly as possible please give me one of three answers to anything I mention. ‘Yes’ means that you are comfortable with it or are willing to do it. ‘Education’ means you need to know more, and to potentially try it, before deciding, but that you’re not opposed to it. Of course, ‘no’, means it will be on your limits list, and it will not happen. Understood?”
“Yes.” Cara’s stomach tightened.
“Please remember, honesty is all we ask. Dishonesty may lead to an elimination of further contact. Is that understood?” The woman’s voice was crisp.
“Yes, I understand, I won’t lie.” She started to tap a pen on her textbook, her nerves making her fidget.
“Wonderful. Let’s begin. Are you comfortable with receiving oral sex?” The woman’s voice hadn’t changed but Cara’s pen froze. Had the woman really just asked her that? Had Meredith had to answer these questions?
“Um…”
“Miss?” The woman prompted her.
“Sorry, yes.” Who would turn down oral sex?
“Performing oral sex?” Cara blushed at the question and leaned back in her chair.
“Yes.”
“Vaginal intercourse?”
“Yes.”
“Anal intercourse?” Again, the woman sounded almost bored as she read off the questions. Cara panicked. “Miss?” The woman prompted. Cara had never tried it, she knew about it. Knew people who had tried it, and liked it.
Cara tried to remind herself - did she want to be boring, or did she want to be someone new? “Um, ed— education?”
The questions continued quickly after that, and as they progressed further they became more and more obscure. She said ‘yes’ to spanking, she’d tried that before and liked it. But the other tools and words the woman rang off were answered more and more often with ‘education’. Cara felt foolish, ignorant, childish, prude. Was she supposed to know about all of this? Were these normal questions?
And why did half of the things she said cause Cara to squirm in her seat, imagining Saif’s hands on her?
Suddenly the woman stopped her rapid-fire questions and made a thinking noise. “I do believe those are all of the questions that were requested. I will submit your responses. If there is a next step, we will contact you.” Then the line clicked. It was over, and Cara just stared at the phone in her hand as her mouth went dry at the memory of some of the things the woman had read off.
Cara felt even more wound up, and the rapping of nails at her door made her jump. Meredith was standing there, an example of perfection. Beautiful clothes that looked tailored to fit her, make-up and hair done. She leaned against the doorframe with a smile. “Was that the interview?”
“I think so. Did they ask you… questions?” Cara hated the heat in her cheeks. Why couldn’t she be like Meredith? Confident, brazen, sexual without apology.
“The sex things? Yeah, they just need a profile on you, Cara.” She tilted her head, her blonde hair tumbling over her shoulder like she’d planned it. “If you don’t want to do it, you don’t have to. But once they know what you’re okay with, that’s when you get the invitations.”
Invitations.
Meredith laughed. “Oh my God, Cara, you didn’t even open the envelope.” She walked over to Cara’s desk and pulled the thick envelope the driver had handed her from underneath a textbook. Meredith moved over to her and pulled the flap open and revealed the one hundred dollar bills tucked inside.
“Holy shit.” Cara’s mouth dropped open as she grabbed it from Meredith’s hands.
“Fifteen hundred dollars. I didn’t lie, Cara!” Meredith was chuckling and messing with things on her desk, which normally would have annoyed Cara, but she was too distracted with the idea that she could almost pay off her credit card. For one night.
One night with Saif, her head prompted.
Or maybe that thought came from much lower.
“I had forgotten all about the money.” Cara mumbled and dropped the envelope into her lap.
“You forgot all about the money, but you still called the number?” Meredith was grinning like the Cheshire cat. “Who did you meet last night?”
* * *
Cara didn’t hear anything for the rest of the day, and once Meredith was done grilling her and had left to meet up with friends, Cara was once again left alone with her brain.
Her confidence came and went in waves that night and the next morning. One moment she was remembering Saif’s words in her ear, describing everything he wanted to do to her and she felt beautiful, sexy, powerful, strong. The next moment she was looking at her pathetic wardrobe of sweat pants and running clothes and wondering how the hell she’d ever gone to the party in the first place. Then it was Grant’s eyes, his body leaning over hers to press her harder against Saif. The memory of both of their hands touching her sent her head reeling, and then in a moment of distraction she found her fingers tracing the path Saif’s had taken. Rolling her clit, dipping inside her, and she was soaking at only the memory of the pleasure he had brought to her not once, but twice.
Just as doubts were creeping back in, The Black Keys blared from her cell phone. She abandoned all hope of pleasuring herself for the morning, and rolled over to grab her phone off the charger. She hit answer and flopped back on her pillow with a huff. “Hello?”
“Good morning, Cara. Hmmm, you do not sound like a morning person.” Saif’s voice thrummed over the line. Perfect, cultured, smooth and purring. Her heart rate went triple time as she tried to remember how to talk.
“I haven’t had coffee yet?” Cara squeaked, and his low laugh rumbled over the phone.
“Ah, well, from what I’ve seen… Cara at night is more than enough to make up for pre-caffeine Cara.” Saif’s voice filled her up. He should teach lessons in how to make women feel incredible, because those few words erased the doubts that had been eating at her. She once again felt like she could do anything. Would do anything.
Anything to see Saif again.
Shut up, brain.
But her body agreed, she wanted his hands on her again. She wanted to let go again, to let her body guide her for once instead of being so focused on what was right or wrong.
“Um, thank you.” Cara was definitely not anywhere near as smooth, but Saif didn’t seem to care.
“Your survey was enlightening.” He didn’t waste time with small talk, did he? Just the idea of him reading her answers, and the number of times she had said ‘education’ made her blush.
“H- how?” She stumbled over the word, focusing on some of the more embarrassing topics she had responded to.
“You are so fresh and new, I can’t imagine that someone hasn’t introduced you to half of this.” A low groan. “Why wouldn’t someone take the opportunity?”
“I’m, um, I’m sorry if I’m not what you — or your company — or, whatever, need. I—”
“Stop.” Saif’s voice brooked no argument, and she found herself sitting up in bed waiting on edge for what he’d say next. “Do you know what happens with girls like you, if no one finds them, if no one really sees them, if no one ever shows them what they’re capable of?”
Cara sighed and rolled her eyes. “They’re boring.”
“No. They’re bored.” Saif sounded stern, like he was correcting her for a mistake in a class. “They want more, but they don’t know what more is because no one has shown them. This, what I’m opening a door to, this is the something more. And Cara, if you’re willing, I’d love to be the one to show it to you.”
Heat flushed her from chest to forehead, her head spun because those words were incredible. It was like Saif had a way to see inside her mind, to know exactly how she felt, and he put it more eloquently than she ever could. Just the idea that Saif wanted to touch her, wanted to be the one to let her explore whatever the fuck this was made her want to jump feet first.
“Yes.” The word was out of her mouth while her brain was still processing her excitement, her satisfaction, at hearing his analysis of who she was.
“Thank you, Cara. For trusting me enough at the party, and even more so to make the phone call yesterday.” His voice dropped to a growl. “You have no idea how much I wanted to see your name on the call list.”
“So, I called this company? Aphrodisia Limited?” Cara was toying with the card for the millionth time. She had folded the corners down, chewed on the edge of it, and basically decimated it in her obsession with thinking about what he could want from her.
“Yes, you did. AL is my company, well, partly mine. And I’d love to have you as an employee. Now, Meredith may have explained that there is no contractual obligation on either side of this. You can refuse an invitation at any time, and we can cease to send them. An invitation is a one night agreement.”
“For fifteen hundred dollars.” Cara’s eyes tracked to the envelope on her desk, which she was still worried would somehow disappear.
Saif laughed low. “Actually, the party I have in mind for you pays twenty-five hundred dollars.”
“What?” More
money?
“Yes. It’s a different setting than the parties that Meredith is on invite lists for.” There he mentioned again the other party that Cara was meant for.
“What is so different? Can I still, um, refuse someone? If I wanted to?” Her nerves were fraying as she seriously talked about this. Whatever this was. But Saif had called her, and she wanted to see him again, wanted to do again whatever had happened a couple of nights before. She wanted to feel that alive again.
“Of course you can refuse someone. None of this, at all, is against the will of anyone involved. Our number one priority at AL is the safety of our employees. Number two, is the privacy of our clients.” Saif’s voice took on an edge. “But if anyone crossed a line, I’d take great pleasure in destroying them for hurting one of mine.” Cara wasn’t sure why that made her thighs press together, or why she was suddenly aware of how wet she was — but it did, and she was soaked.
“That’s comforting,” Cara paused, her breaths uneven as she continued with a short laugh. “- even though I’m still unsure of what this is.”
“Let’s just say we provide opportunities for all parties involved to freely address their sexual desires in an environment that is secure and anonymous. Our employees don’t risk their health and wellness, our clients don’t risk messy paparazzi fiascos or complicated police involvement if someone gets angry after a break up.”
“So it will be like the party from before?” Visions of Grant above her, holding her legs apart while Saif brought her to orgasm with skill — all while a variety of sex acts played out within eyesight — filled her head.
“That party was about no control. People letting go completely and following with group think, letting their passion take over and make decisions.” She could almost imagine Saif shrugging gracefully as he paused. “You are capable of so much more, and this party would let you explore that, both the things you said ‘yes’ to and some you asked to be ‘educated’ on. Although I must say… I was impressed with you at the first party, and it took a lot of restraint to hold back from what I wanted to do with you.”
Deviant Attraction: A Dark and Dirty Boxset Page 3
