THE VALANCOURT BOOK OF HORROR STORIES
VOLUME THREE
edited by
JAMES D. JENKINS and RYAN CAGLE
VALANCOURT BOOKS
Richmond, Virginia
2018
The Valancourt Book of Horror Stories, Volume Three
First published October 2018
This compilation copyright © 2018 by Valancourt Books, LLC
The Acknowledgments page on p. 6 constitutes an extension of this copyright page.
All rights reserved. In accordance with the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, the copying, scanning, uploading, and/or electronic sharing of any part of this book without the permission of the publisher constitutes unlawful piracy and theft of the author’s intellectual property. If you would like to use material from the book (other than for review purposes), prior written permission must be obtained by contacting the publisher.
Published by Valancourt Books, Richmond, Virginia
http://www.valancourtbooks.com
Cover by M. S. Corley
Set in Dante MT
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
The Editors acknowledge with thanks permission to include the following stories:
‘Don’t Go Up Them Stairs’ © 1971 by R. Chetwynd-Hayes. Originally published in The Unbidden. Reprinted by permission of the Estate of R. Chetwynd-Hayes.
‘The Parts Man’ © 2018 by Steve Rasnic Tem. Published by arrangement with the author.
‘The Life of the Party’ © 2013 by Christopher Beaumont. Originally published in Mass for Mixed Voices: The Selected Short Fiction of Charles Beaumont, edited by Roger Anker. Reprinted by permission of Don Congdon Associates.
‘The Poet Gives His Friend Wildflowers’ © 2018 by Hugh Fleetwood. Published by arrangement with the author.
‘Monkshood Manor’ © 1954 by L. P. Hartley. Originally published in The White Wand and Other Stories. Reprinted by permission of The Society of Authors.
‘Blood of the Kapu Tiki’ © 2018 by Eric C. Higgs. Published by arrangement with the author.
‘On No Account, My Love’ © 1955 by Elizabeth Jenkins. Originally published in The Third Ghost Book, edited by Cynthia Asquith. Reprinted by permission of the Estate of Elizabeth Jenkins.
‘Underground’ © 1974 by J. B. Priestley. Originally published in The Illustrated London News. Reprinted by permission of United Agents and the Estate of J. B. Priestley.
‘Mr Evening’ © 1968 by James Purdy. Originally published in Mr. Evening and Nine Poems. Reprinted by permission of W. W. Norton & Company, Inc.
‘Mothering Sunday’ © 1960 by John Keir Cross. Originally published in Best Black Magic Stories, edited by John Keir Cross. Reprinted by permission of the Estate of John Keir Cross.
‘The Bottle of 1912’ © 1961 by Simon Raven. Originally published in The Compleat Imbiber. Reprinted by permission of Curtis Brown, Ltd.
‘Beelzebub’ © 1992 by Robert Westall. Originally published in Fearful Lovers and Other Stories. Reprinted by permission of the Estate of Robert Westall and David Higham Associates.
EDITORS’ FOREWORD
It’s October again, and you know what that means: it’s time for another volume of Valancourt horror stories! Reader response to the first two entries in the series has been so positive that we’re thrilled to be able to offer this third volume, and we think it may be the best yet.
As in past volumes, we’ve selected a wide range of stories – all by Valancourt authors – spanning the 19th, 20th, and 21st centuries, which means you will find rare ghost stories from the Victorian era alongside brand-new material that has never appeared in print before. And, as in the first two volumes, we have taken a broad view of what constitutes a ‘horror story’ and have tried to assemble a good mix of styles and themes. As you might expect from any good collection of spooky tales, ghosts and hauntings are amply represented in this book, but you’ll find plenty of other types of horror as well: a monster in the attic with a taste for human flesh, an unpopular man who discovers a macabre new way of making friends, a particularly horrible baby who might be the spawn of Satan himself, vengeful Polynesian spirits, a subway train whose next stop is somewhere much hotter and further underground than one passenger expects, and even – why not? – a sinister snowman brought to life by the black arts.
Some of the authors in this collection will be well known to horror fans, such as the prolific R. Chetwynd-Hayes, the multi-award-winning modern-day master of weird fiction Steve Rasnic Tem, or legendary Twilight Zone scriptwriter Charles Beaumont. But even the most avid readers of horror anthologies will likely encounter some names with which they are not familiar, like the almost-forgotten Victorian-era writers Helen Mathers and Ernest G. Henham, biographer Elizabeth Jenkins, or the cult American novelist James Purdy. Many of the tales in this book have been long out of print, some of them never reprinted since their initial appearances many years ago, and three contributions – by Tem, Eric C. Higgs (who sadly passed away shortly after submitting his story), and Hugh Fleetwood – are appearing for the first time ever.
In compiling our first three Valancourt Books of Horror Stories, we’ve been astonished at the substantial number of high-quality, seldom-seen horror tales we have been able to compile from the relatively small number of authors we publish, especially given that many Valancourt authors are not known as horror writers. This just goes to show how much excellent, underappreciated fiction is out there, waiting for those willing to take the time and effort to seek it out. We hope that you’ll enjoy this collection and also that you will take a moment to visit our website and click your way through the dark corners of the rest of the Valancourt catalogue – you never know what else might be lurking there . . .
James D. Jenkins & Ryan Cagle
August 2018
R. Chetwynd-Hayes
DON’T GO UP THEM STAIRS
An extremely prolific author and editor of horror fiction, R. Chetwynd-Hayes (1919-2001) published over a dozen novels and more than twenty volumes of short stories; he also edited numerous paperback horror anthologies in the 1970s, including volumes of the Armada Monster Book and Fontana Book of Great Ghost Stories series. Chetwynd-Hayes’s stories usually feature a mixture of horror and humour, and he often wrote about monsters, both traditional ones like vampires and werewolves and others of his own creation, such as the Shadmock and the Jumpity-Jim. His brilliant collection of interlinked monster stories, The Monster Club (1976), was adapted for a cult classic film version in 1981 starring Vincent Price and John Carradine and has been republished by Valancourt, as has a volume of the author’s complete vampire tales, Looking for Something to Suck (1997). Like his ‘The Elemental’, which appeared in The Valancourt Book of Horror Stories, Volume 2, ‘Don’t Go Up Them Stairs’ showcases the author’s trademark blend of the horrific and humorous. It first appeared in 1971 and seems not to have been reprinted in more than forty years.
Grandfather said he was never to go upstairs.
By ‘upstairs’ he meant, of course, the second flight, the uncarpeted treads that led to the gable attic. His mother also stressed this unquestionable order in no uncertain terms: ‘Never, never, go up them stairs.’
These were the first words he learnt to utter when still in the pram stage, not all at once of course. First it was: ‘Nev-er,’ that drooled off his baby tongue, then: ‘Go-o-o,’ followed by: ‘ ’em stai-r-rs,’ in a few months. ‘Mama’ came afterwards, ‘Dadda’ was never an issue – he was dead.
Lionel was ten before he began to consider the implication of this order. He could go to school, go to the pictures, go to visit Aunt Matilda who lived two miles away, but he could never – not if he
lived to be a hundred – go upstairs to the attic. It was like Adam being told he must keep off apples. One day he approached his mother when she was in the midst of jam making.
‘Why?’ he asked.
‘Why not?’ she snapped, being in that kind of mood.
‘Why can’t I go upstairs to the attic?’
Her plump face turned to the color of unbaked pastry, so that the veins in her cheeks looked like streaks of strawberry jam.
‘What did you say?’
Lionel’s courage evaporated, and he muttered, ‘Nothing,’ but it was too late, he was seized by his shirt collar and dragged into the presence of his grandfather who was dozing before the living room fire.
‘He asked me why,’ his mother gasped in a voice that could scarce be heard.
‘Why!’ Grandfather’s faded old man’s eyes gleamed with fear, his mouth sagged as though he were about to cry, then he was on Lionel, cuffing him about the ears, but without much force, for he was very frail.
‘You-don’t-ask-why.’ He screamed the words, and Mother admonished tearfully, ‘Careful, Dad, you’ll do yourself an injury,’ whereupon the old man returned to his chair panting like a worn-out steam engine.
‘Never ask why again,’ he nodded weakly, ‘just never go up them stairs.’
This outburst must have hastened the work done by umpteen years (no one knew how old Grandfather was), for one morning, just over a week later, Mother found Grandfather dead in his bed. Two men came and put him in a coffin, which was laid on two trestles in the front, to-be-used-only-on-special-occasions, room. Strange uncles and aunts, the existence of whom Lionel up to that time never suspected, came to pay their last respects. There was much drinking of grocer’s sherry and munching of biscuits; Lionel, scrubbed, brushed, and imprisoned in a tight black suit, sipped his lemonade, and wondered why they had all come so early, after all the funeral was not for two days yet. Aunt Matilda was there, a vast bundle of lavender and old lace, for she weighed all of eighteen stone; her false teeth were continually slipping, which gave her a somewhat sardonic, amused expression, not at all in keeping with the occasion.
‘How’d you like to stay with yer old auntie?’ she enquired, after ruffling his hair, an operation which irritated him exceedingly.
‘All right,’ he conceded with reluctance.
It so happened he was spared this particular ordeal; news came some two hours later that a branch of the Tabernacle of Divine Wrestlers had burnt Aunt Matilda’s cottage down. Mother looked particularly worried and tried to palm him off on the other uncles and aunts, but with no success.
‘Give him a black D-R-A-U-G-H-T,’ advised Aunt Matilda, who seemed in no way put out by the destruction of her home, ‘ ’e’ll never hear a thing.’
They both overlooked the fact that Lionel could spell.
Mother was not a good actress. The next day she made continual and loud comments, stating he looked poorly, and how much good a nice basin of broth would do him, if consumed just before bedtime. She also unwisely added how well he’d sleep afterwards. When she was outside hanging up the washing Lionel inspected the kitchen. Apart from minced chicken, onions and chopped vegetables, there was a quantity of black powder in a white envelope. This he washed down the sink, and substituted black pepper in its place, then ran back to the living room just as Mother came back with her empty washing basket.
That evening all the uncles and aunts came back and a red-faced man who had been introduced as Uncle Arthur arrived with a wheelbarrow filled with bricks. Mother in a loud stage whisper told him to put them round the back, adding, quite unnecessarily, that ‘little jugs had big eyes.’ Then they all sat round and watched Lionel drink his broth.
‘Lucky boy,’ bellowed Aunt Matilda, ‘I only wish somebody would make me some nice broth.’
‘Luvly stuff.’ Uncle Arthur smacked his lips. ‘Makes me mouth water, it does.’
It is extremely doubtful if their appreciation would have lasted beyond the first sip; the pepper had made the broth very hot, and Lionel’s mouth felt sore by the time he had emptied the basin.
‘Feel sleepy, son?’ enquired Mother.
‘Yes,’ lied Lionel.
Everyone gave a sigh of relief, and there was quite a procession to escort him to bed. He was tucked in, kissed a disgusting number of times, then they all trooped out, but Lionel had a suspicion someone was posted outside his door, if not indeed peering through the keyhole, to report progress. He closed his eyes and even snored in what he hoped was a realistic manner. The door creaked open, footsteps tip-toed across the room, and Lionel was gently shaken.
‘You asleep, son?’ asked Mother.
Lionel snored even louder, and fought down a traitorous sneeze.
‘Is ’e off?’ enquired Aunt Matilda’s voice from the doorway.
‘Like a tombstone,’ Mother replied. ‘He’ll be under for eight hours at least.’
They left him and locked the door, unmindful that a rim lock has screws on the inside which are easily removed by a penknife, a present from Grandfather last Hallowe’en.
There was an awful lot of bumping in the front room, and the door was obligingly ajar. Two uncles were lifting Grandfather out of his coffin, and after they had laid him on the floor, they began to fill the coffin with bricks which Uncle Arthur was passing through the open window. The entire family, if they were related, were attired in strange costumes. Mother and all the aunties wore tall black tapering hats, and long matching dresses, while the uncles were naked, save for a knee-length black apron. Presently the coffin was filled with bricks and Uncle Arthur, after climbing in through the window and closing it after him, started to screw down the lid, while everyone else intoned a dirge that sounded to Lionel something like this.
‘Grandfather was with us, long, long, long,
Now he has gone, gone, gone,
Where did he go, go, go?
Down where the dark river flow, flow, flow.
Now his body is dead, dead, dead,
But the Black One must be fed, fed, fed,
Give him meat to munch, munch, munch,
And lovely bones to crunch, crunch, crunch.’
Uncle Arthur had finished screwing the lid back, and they lifted Grandfather, who looked very frail and cold in his white flannel nightgown, and laid him on the coffin. They now joined hands and danced round the corpse, this time singing a gay little tune that sounded rather like ‘Knees Up Mother Brown.’
‘Upstairs we all must go,
He-Hi-He-Hi-Ho,
All must be done just so-so,
He-Hi-He-Hi-Ho.
Do we fry his liver, braise his lights?
He-Hi-He-Hi-Ho.
Bake his kidneys, stew his tripes,
He-Hi-He-Hi-Ho.
No, the Black One likes ’em raw,
He-Hi-He-Hi-Ho,
He’s waiting for us behind the door,
He-Hi-He-Hi-Ho.
Now together let us sing,
He-Hi-He-Hi-Ho.
Black One’s dinner we do bring,
He-Hi-He-Hi-Ho.’
The dancers took a much needed rest; Aunt Matilda was puffing in a most alarming manner; Uncle Arthur was leaning on Grandfather’s feet, until Mother gave him an angry push that sent him sprawling. Lionel would have laughed if it had not been for their eyes. Even when they were singing their silly little ditty their eyes were bright – glazed with horror; smiles were grimaces, mouths twitched, hands trembled. Uncle Arthur clambered to his feet, then looked upwards in one revealing glance. Everyone repeated the movement; Aunt Matilda gave utterance.
‘We must go up.’
Lionel fled, ran up the stairs silently on bare feet, to take refuge in his bedroom and listen behind his unlocked door. There came the tramp of feet, the thump-thump of the heavily laden, the creak of protesting stairboards, and something moved in the room above. A slithering, followed by a soft bumping, then as the procession on the stairs began to intone yet another dirge, whatever was above starte
d to dance.
‘Black One, Black One, here we come,
Bearing something for your old tum,
Grandad’s ripe and ready now,
Come out quick, and get your chow.’
The ceiling shook, a picture moved, and the noise above became a patter of sheer joy. Grandfather and his escort passed Lionel’s door and carried on up the second flight. Lionel waited. There was a bump on the top landing, the family came running downstairs so fast someone slipped and tumbled down the last few steps; the dancing ceased and a heavy tread crossed the ceiling. The murmur of subdued voices below indicated the family were waiting also, and Lionel gently pulled his door open and peered out. A black candle was burning on the bottom stair of the second flight. It sputtered, and gave out a thin plume of white smoke, then the door of the attic creaked open and a strong draught blew the candle out. The family chanted again as Lionel closed his door.
‘Ugly Black One up above,
Accept this offering with our love,
But come not down, stay up there,
And we’ll remain just where we were.’
There was a terrible silence, and Lionel knew, even if he did not understand, that some very important decision would be reached during the next minute. Downstairs someone began to cry, then Uncle Arthur swore; both sounds were frozen when a crash made the banisters tremble, followed at once by a swift dragging, a take-away; but Lionel knew it was Grandfather being pulled into the attic, for the sound continued on over his ceiling. A door slammed, and the family sent their sigh of relief shivering up the stairs.
They all dispersed shortly afterwards, save for Aunt Matilda and Mother. Lionel had only just screwed the lock keep back into place when he heard them coming up the stairs; he got into bed and turned over on one side, shutting his eyes tight when the key turned.
‘Is he still asleep?’ Aunt Matilda’s whisper was a muted shout. ‘Is he still under?’
The Valancourt Book of Horror Stories Page 1
