by Jenn Hype
Once again I found myself hiding in the bathroom. My hands shook as I pulled my phone out of my pocket. I stared at the screen for a long time, too afraid to pull up the number to the one person - the only person - I wanted to talk to. I was keeping it together for Michelle, but it wouldn’t be long before I would fall apart myself. I could do it alone. I’d pick myself back up and put myself back together eventually. But the thing is… I didn’t want to do it alone. When I fell, I wanted to be in CJ’s arms, because even though I wasn’t sure where we really stood at the moment, I knew without a fraction of doubt that he would be there to catch me.
I wanted to ask him to assign some men to watch over Michelle. Working with men who used to be in the military and now worked security was a perk when your sister was in danger, right? The only reason I hesitated to call in that favor was because of Michelle’s stubbornness. I had no idea where her head was at and wouldn’t until she was sober and could talk in complete sentences instead of drunken ramblings. If I strong-armed her into doing something she didn’t want to do, she’d just shut me out, and I was the only person she was even letting in at all.
In the end, I was too chicken to call CJ. I opted for sending a text.
Me: I’m fine, but I need a few days off work. Will explain later. Sorry.
Michelle knew better than to go out alone at night, and had promised to be extra vigilant during the day as well. Her building manager assured her when she moved in that all the tenants were diligent about safety and wouldn’t let anyone inside they didn’t know. Even pizza deliveries had to be met at the front door, they couldn’t just be buzzed in. As much as I wanted to lock her up and make for damn sure she was safe, she was an adult. Like it or not, the decision was hers. All I could do was be there for support. Which I would be. For the next few days, where she went, I went. Until I knew for certain she would be okay and that she wasn’t going to be reckless with her safety, then I couldn’t leave her.
Of course my cell phone rang as soon as the message was sent. I couldn’t answer it. If I heard his voice, I’d lose it. So I hit ignore. It physically pained me to do it. I hated the way we’d left things earlier, and I could only imagine how angry he was with me, but I just…I just couldn’t.
When he called again immediately, I powered my phone off. I wouldn’t be able to ignore him for long, and the temptation to answer was too great.
Michelle was passed out when I made my way back to the living room. Her apartment was small and there weren’t enough seats for all four of us, so Clara had been hanging out on the floor all night. With Michelle sprawled out across the small sofa, Josi had stationed herself on the carpet as well. I took a seat next to them and was thrown back to junior high and slumber parties where me and Chelle and all our friends had sat around criss-cross applesauce gossiping and playing Light as a feather, stiff as a board.
“Just finished off the mint chocolate chip,” Clara said, licking a spoon clean.
I scrunched my nose. “Good, that crap is disgusting. Who wants mint in their ice cream? It’s sacrilegious.”
Josi high-fived me in agreement and handed me a spoon so I could dig into the Rocky Road. I was more of a Moosetracks girl myself, but I wasn’t complaining since they’d been thoughtful to bring it in the first place.
“You guys kind of rock, you know that?”
Josi chuckled at my rhetorical question, while Clara wooted out a “hells yeah!”
Michelle stirred, chomping her lips together before passing back out with her mouth wide open and snoring loud enough to wake the dead.
The three of us burst out laughing. It was nice. More than nice. It was…something I didn’t even have the words for.
To my horror, a rogue tear escaped and I found myself blurting out all the mushy thoughts I’d had all night but managed to hold at bay until now.
“This means so much to me. You have no idea. I’ve been so lonely, and I’m worried Michelle is shutting me out and I don’t know what’s going on with her or how she’s handling everything. And after what happened with CJ this morning, I just really, really appreciate you both.”
By the end of my impromptu speech, I was sobbing so hard I wasn’t sure my words were even intelligible. It didn’t matter, though. Both girls had their arms wrapped around me, hugging me so tight I couldn’t breathe. Which made me laugh, then made them laugh, and next thing I knew, we were all laying on our backs gasping for air.
“Shit. I haven’t laughed like this in probably a decade. Remember when you were young and you’d get slap happy and just laugh your ass off for no reason at all?”
Clara snickered. “Yeah. It drove CJ insane, too. He hated that we’d have these laughing fits for no reason at all. Couldn’t understand the idea of laughing just for laughing’s sake. Which, of course, made us laugh even harder.”
Josi barked out a laugh. “Remember that time he scared off your date to homecoming?”
“Oh my God,” Clara groaned. “How could I forget going to the dance my junior year of high school without my date? We were voted homecoming king and queen, but because CJ made him piss his pants - literally - he obviously didn’t show up. Then that asshole principal of ours forced me to do the dance by myself. Insisted it was tradition, so I had to sway in the middle of the dance floor by myself while all my classmates laughed it up.”
“You got him back, though,” Josi piped up, turning to her side and propping up on her elbow to face me. “CJ is a deep sleeper, or he was back then, anyway. So a week later, Clara snuck into his room and put hot wax on his eyebrows. Yanked both pieces of paper off at the same time, took his eyebrows clean off. He woke up screaming like a little girl. I got the whole thing on video. He thinks we deleted it, but I’ve got it tucked away for emergency blackmail use.”
“I can’t. Stop. No more,” I begged between wheezes. My stomach muscles hurt badly, reminding me of how long it’d been since my last workout.
When we finally calmed down, the emotional exhaustion started seeping into my bones. I seriously considered staying right there, laying on the rough, worn out shag carpeting that was probably decades old. Dozens of people had traipsed barefoot on that very carpet, but I couldn’t bring myself to be skeeved out by it. The only thing that could have motivated me to get off my tired ass would be CJ standing over me with open arms.
I could feel Josi’s eyes on me, so I knew she saw the silent tear stream down my cheek. To her credit, she said nothing. Not even when three more followed in its tracks.
“I need to call your brother and tell him I’ll be staying here for a few days. We had a fight earlier. Sort of.”
Clara grabbed the unopened bag of gummy worms and tore into it, sitting up and staring with wide eyes like she was about to get a juicy scoop of gossip.
“What happened?”
I sighed and accepted the handful of bears Clara held out for me. They sat patiently while I went through the embarrassing details of my jealous outburst. Then they burst into laughter. I tried to be annoyed at them for being so entertained by my misery, but wound up joining the crazy against my will.
“You know you guys will be fine, right?” Josi said when we yet again calmed down from a bout of howling laughter.
“Yeah,” I sighed. “I know. I’m just drained and I know it’s super shitty of me, but I can’t deal with it right this second. I need to focus on Michelle. I just hope CJ understands that when we finally do talk.”
Josi nodded solemnly. “He will, but don’t wait too long, okay?”
She gave me a quick side hug. I’d been through the emotional ringer and though I felt myself welling up with gratitude again, my burning eyes were all dried out. No more tears, thank the Lord.
“Hey, where are your keys?” Clara asked, already rummaging through my purse. “Never mind, found them. C’mon Jo.”
Without hesitation or question, Josi jumped up and followed Clara to the door. Confusion had me mustering the energy to hop to my feet and follow after them.
“Uh, what are you guys doing?”
Clara turned around. “Going to your apartment to pack you a bag. Duh.”
The door closed behind them and the floodgates opened. I sat there, my back against the door, crying a mix of both happy and sad tears.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
CJ
“And if love be madness, may I never find sanity again.”
- John Green
Blake was okay.
I tried to take comfort in knowing she was at least safe. Tried being the operative word there. Except without knowing why she’d gone AWOL, and why in the hell she now needed a few days off, it was making me even more crazy than before. My gut told me it was more than just her being upset with me, but until I knew for sure, I wouldn’t be able to relax.
“She’s at her sister’s,” Reed said as soon as he answered my call.
“How do you know that?”
I heard him scoff through the line. “What am I? An amateur? I set it up to notify me as soon as she powered her phone back on. It’s off again though, by the way.”
“Yeah, I know. She text me and then shut it off after ignoring my call.”
The telltale clacking of keys on his end drifted through the speakers for a few seconds before he spoke again.
“Did you get my text?”
I pulled my phone away from my ear and put it on speaker before minimizing the call. Sure enough, there was a text from Reed sent over an hour before.
Reed: Greg Dunbar was released from custody this morning. All charges dropped. Thought you should know.
I heard a sound in the hall and practically sprinted to my door. “Who the hell is Greg Dunbar?” I yelled as I yanked the door open, darting into the hallway with lightning speed. Imagine my disappointment when I found my two sisters instead of Blake.
“Brother! Fancy seeing you here,” Clara said as she turned the lock on the handle.
“What the fuck is going on here? Why are you breaking into my girlfriend’s apartment?”
Josi, who had been doing something on her phone, put it away and shot me a look of sympathy.
“We’re getting a bag for Blake.”
“What!?” Panic zipped through me and I yanked on Josi’s hand, pulling her inside my apartment. Damn nosey neighbors didn’t need to hear our conversation. “Either tell me what the hell is happening or I’m driving over to Michelle’s and demanding answers from Blake.”
Josi did that annoying thing where she shushed me like a baby in an attempt to calm me down while Clara locked Blake’s door back and joined us inside my living room.
“I’m honestly not sure what’s going on, but it has to do with Michelle. Blake sent us an SOS and asked for girl backup. By the time we got there, Michelle was already three sheets to the wind. She was trying not to show it, but I could tell Blake was really upset. We didn’t pry, just offered moral support and distraction. Now we’re here to get some things for her. She’s going to be staying with Michelle for a few days.”
Reed cleared his throat. I’d forgotten he was even on the phone.
“Sorry, man.”
“Who’s that?” Josi looked pointedly at my phone.
“Reed, I gotta call you back.”
He started to respond, but I ended the call before he got anything out. I tossed my phone onto the counter and stared down my sisters.
“Okay. Any idea as to why she won’t answer my calls or tell me any of this herself?”
Josi and Clara both squirmed, not meeting my eye. I fought hard not to growl. My frustration was reaching dangerous levels.
“Listen,” I started, tapping into every bit of patience I had access to and hoping a little pleading would get my sisters to give me some answers. “A lot of shit has gone down today and there are a lot of things I need to talk to Blake about. I’m pretty sure I upset her earlier, and if she’s avoiding me then-“
“CJ,” Josi interrupted, putting her hand on my forearm. “She’s not upset with you. I’m not going to repeat everything she said because I think it’s a conversation you need to have with her yourself, but I promise you, she’s not over there hating you and figuring out how to get a voodoo doll to stick pins into, okay? She’s just trying to be there for her sister, so be patient.”
I thrust a hand through my hair, my composure slipping. “I don’t know how to do this.”
Josi looked at me with sympathy in her eyes. I hadn’t really meant to voice the confession, but there it was. The truth of the matter. I was totally lost when it came to Blake, and it scared the hell out of me.
“I think you’re doing just fine, big brother,” Jo assured me before giving me a side hug.
My phone started vibrating on the counter. Fucking Reed.
“What?!” I barked, crossing the room and pacing. All the energy building up inside of me was going to make me explode if I didn’t find an outlet.
“Greg Dunbar is Michelle’s ex-boyfriend. The one who put her in the hospital with worse injuries than an MMA fighter. Didn’t you read that file I got for you on Blake?”
I stopped in my tracks. Several seconds ticked by as I processed his words.
Greg Dunbar was the man who beat Michelle. And he was out of jail with all charges dropped.
“Does she have a restraining order?”
Reed made a tsking sound. “Yeah, but you know those things don’t mean shit.”
I grunted.
“Chris.” Reed using my real name made my spine stiffen. “This guy has no previous record and several character witnesses testified on his behalf. They painted him as the proverbial golden boy. He was cleared of all charges, so it won’t be long before they revoke the restraining order. Without evidence or cause…”
He trailed off.
“How is there no evidence? Blake said she was in the hospital for weeks. That her injuries were extensive. How can they possible refute that?”
Reed cursed. “You seriously should have read that file.”
“You told me there wasn’t anything I needed to know right away!” I yelled defensively, ready to tear into him more but he cut me off.
“Yeah, about Blake herself. I didn’t think you’d ignore the file altogether or I’d have mentioned it. And honestly, I never would have imagined the fucker would get off.”
“When did they release him?”
Clicking on the other end came through the phone while I paced the room anxiously. “First thing this morning. I set up an alert to be notified of any changes with his case back when I compiled the information, just in case you wanted it down the road. I would have known about it sooner, but I’ve been ass-deep in the Holly case.”
I wanted to point out that if he’d let me hire someone to help with his work load it wouldn’t have been an issue, but it wasn’t the time for I-told-you-sos.
“Still don’t get why they let him go just because a few of his douchebag buddies covered for him.”
“My best guess? He’s got friends in high places.”
“You looking into it?”
Reed scoffed. “Yes, asshole, I’m looking into it. Depending on how smart he was about covering his tracks, it shouldn’t take long to figure out who he bribed.”
“CJ,” Clara said from beside me, making me jump. I’d completely forgotten my sisters were even there.
“How secure is Michelle’s building?” I asked her, not liking the way she was nervously biting her lip.
“Key pad entry, unless someone lets you in. No security cameras that I could see. Basic deadbolt lock on the door.”
I patted her head. “Good girl.”
She swatted my hand away. I would have laughed if I weren’t so fucking worried. I’d taught my sisters how to be vigilant when it came to safety. Working in security had made me paranoid when it came to the women in my life. Too many fucking creeps out there.
“Reed,” I said into the phone, but keeping my eyes on the worried faces of my sisters. “Send a couple guys over there to keep an eye on the pl
ace. The asshole would have to be the biggest dumbass on the planet to go after her the first day he’s released, but just to be cautious.”
“You got it boss.”
“Call me if anything else comes up. Keep an eye on the police scanners. I’m heading over to check on Blake myself here shortly.”
“Roger that.”
Clara and Josi were whispering. Both stopped and looked at me when they realized I was no longer on the phone.
“Spill it,” I ordered.
Josi shook her head. Something she did when she was trying to put her thoughts in order before talking. “I just have a bad feeling. We were over there for a few hours and nothing seemed out of the ordinary. When we came and went, nothing looked out of place. No suspicious cars or men lurking.”
My chest expanded with pride. When I forced both of them to go through a self-defense course with me and a couple of the guys, I wasn’t sure they’d retain anything we’d taught them. Knowing they practiced those tips regularly made me want to wrap them up in a hug.
“So if nothing seemed off, then why are you worried?”
Clara shuffled her feet. “Michelle was seriously drunk. I mean, I haven’t spent a lot of time with her, but she just seemed really off. I had the feeling that she didn’t want any of us there, even Blake. She almost seemed, like, paranoid? It was just weird.”
It made sense. The man who beat Michelle almost to death was out of jail, so of course she was paranoid. Reasoning with myself, unfortunately, wasn’t doing a damn thing to lessen the worry taking hold of my insides and twisting until my entire body was sick with dread.
“Forget the bag. We need to go back and make sure they’re okay.”
Neither of my sisters argued, a sign in itself that they were just as worried as I was.
The second we reached my car, my phone rang. It was Reed. I climbed in and started the engine before answering so I could talk over my car’s bluetooth while I drove.
