"Children are amazing, aren't they?" He smiled and rolled his shoulders. "Active, too."
She couldn't help but return his smile. Now he looked like a forty-one-year-old warrior uncovering one of the seven wonders of the world. "You were terrific. Jake and Jenny adore you."
"Thanks. I couldn't have made it through the day without you, though. I think I would have been overwhelmed."
"I'm glad I could help."
How polite they were, she thought. Two people on the verge of ending their marriage, of abandoning the love they still felt. It made no sense, yet it made perfect sense. They cared too much to destroy each other with anger. So they held on by their thumbnails, afraid to let go.
"This must be how parents feel," Dakota said. "You know, after their kids are in bed."
Because her thoughts had strayed in a different direction, it took Kathy a moment to comprehend his words. "You mean the quiet? The close of a busy day?"
"Yeah. I'm tired, but it's a good kind of tired. Rewarding."
In spite of the wine, she vowed to keep a clear head. His admission pleased her, but slipping into a fantasy would only end up shredding her emotions. Jake and Jenny were someone else's children.
They sat quietly after that, both lost in thought. She gazed into the backyard where their herb garden flourished, spilling sweet, harmonious scents into the air. Breathing in that air, she shook her head. The garden wasn't theirs, it was his, along with the rest of the ranch. She had only been borrowing his possessions, stealing into his life. The temporary wife, longing for more.
"Kathy?"
She placed her glass back on the table, wondering if he had read her mind. His tranquil expression had tightened. "Yes?"
"Do you remember me mentioning that Thunder called last week?"
She nodded. It wasn't something she was likely to forget, nor was the fact that Thunder would be calling again, expecting Dakota's final answer. "You discussed his latest mission."
"Among other things." He kept his legs stretched out before him, his boots dark against the clay-colored tile. "I asked Thunder about his marriage. It wasn't any of my business, I suppose, but I asked him anyway."
"And did he tell you?"
"Yes. His wife lost their baby, too."
Kathy couldn't breathe. For one lonely moment all the pain came rushing back. Forcing oxygen into her lungs, she willed herself to sit and listen, to keep her eyes dry and her hands steady.
"It wasn't like our situation, though," Dakota said. "They got married because she was pregnant, so when she miscarried, their relationship ended. He said there was no reason to stay together."
"And do you believe that was all there was to it?" she asked.
"No, but I didn't see the need the press Thunder about it. To me, it was obvious that he had loved her. I could hear it in his voice."
Kathy's hand wasn't as steady as she had hoped, so she avoided lifting her glass. "Did it help? Talking to someone else who has been through it?"
"In a way, yes. And now that I know about Thunder's child, I understand why this mission is so important to him. The terrorist he's been tracking is responsible for opening fire on a group of tourists. One woman was eight months pregnant. And although she pulled through, the baby didn't."
A lump formed in Kathy's throat, but she didn't respond. She dropped her hands to her lap and waited for Dakota to continue, knowing he had more to say.
"I want to be here for you, be the best husband possible." He glanced up at the sky as though drawing emotional strength from the elements. "Yet I want to help Thunder catch this guy. For the baby who didn't survive the shooting. For the baby Thunder's wife lost. And for our baby, the child we should have had."
She kept her hands on her lap, her fingers numb from gripping her jeans. "I'm confused. Are you asking for my permission to go? Or are you asking me to tell you to stay home?"
"Neither. You said the choice has to be mine, and you're right. But I do want you to understand why I'm considering this mission, and why the decision is weighing on me. It isn't giving up my work that scares me. It's giving up the good I can do."
"What about us?" she asked, blinking back tears. "What about our marriage?"
"That's the hardest part." He trapped her gaze, his voice breaking a little. "Because losing you scares me most of all."
* * *
Chapter 13
«^»
Dakota walked into the backyard, then stopped when he saw Kathy. She knelt at their garden, mothering the plants. She didn't appear to be aware of his presence, so he remained silent, taking the opportunity to admire her.
Her hair, shimmering in the late-morning sun, cascaded over her shoulders. She sported a blue work shirt tied at her waist and a pair of faded jeans, cuffed at the ankles. Because her feet were bare, he smiled. She really did like the feel of dirt between her toes.
He moved closer, his smile fading as anxiety coiled in the pit of his stomach. His decision-making two weeks were up. And Thunder would be calling for an answer. Soon. Most likely today.
As he approached, his boots made slight indentations in the grass. The garden, small enough to look cozy yet large enough to require stepping stones, thrived just beyond the lawn.
Kathy turned, gazed up at him and shielded her eyes with her left hand, where the wedding ring he'd given her still sparkled. She hadn't removed it since they'd returned from Asterland.
Why? he wondered. Was she hoping she wouldn't have to? Hoping he would live up to her fantasy and give up his work? The decision that scared him senseless.
"Hi," she said.
He knelt beside her. "How long have you been out here?"
"A while. It's so peaceful."
It was, he thought, as a warm breeze blew the loose strands of her hair. The Texas sun offered warmth and an illusion of safety, something he knew Kathy needed. But it wasn't her own safety she feared for, it was his.
He wanted to brush a strand of hair from her cheek, but he kept his hands still instead, not trusting himself to touch her. Even the lightest caress might lead to a kiss. And that was his illusion of safety. His need.
"Were you talking to our plants?" he asked, knowing she had already watered them hours before. The soil remained slightly damp, just enough to make the ground cool.
"Maybe a little," she admitted. "They looked sort of lonely."
He scanned the herbs. But to him, they didn't look lonesome at all. They grew in pretty clusters, keeping each other company with a variety of shapes and colors. It was Kathy who appeared lonely, she who seemed to long for companionship.
She fingered a sprig of parsley, then drew back. "They're not our plants, Dakota. They're yours."
He frowned, pressure creasing his brow. "That's not true. Everything here belongs to both of us."
She shrugged. "Legally, maybe."
He didn't like the direction their conversation was headed. It sounded like divorce talk, common-law jargon. Rather than continue on the same vein, he said what was in his heart. "I love you, Kathy."
She lifted her gaze to his, her eyes as green as their surroundings. "I love you, too."
Dakota took a deep breath. Such beautiful words. Shouldn't they be enough?
Maybe they were, he thought, at least for the moment. Suddenly the tension eased between them, making the sun feel warmer, the plants smell more fragrant. He picked a grouping of leaves and tucked them behind Kathy's ear, giving in to the need to touch her.
"Peppermint." Before the leaves could slip from her hair, she secured them, brushing Dakota's hand as she did. "It's my favorite."
"I know. Mine, too." The scent was cool yet comforting, as clean and refreshing as a playful kiss on a spring day. It was, he realized, the way being married to Kathy made him feel.
Enraptured. Being with her brought joy and contentment. And so did everything else he wanted to share with her – the ranch, the horses, the newly planted herbs. And the children. Jake and Jenny, who basked in the attention Kat
hy favored upon them.
"I made sun tea." She pointed to ajar sitting in the center of the yard.
Dakota smiled. It looked like an offering, a gift to the elements, to the beauty of the morning. Strange how something so simple could seem so important. So homey. "Do you think it's ready?"
She nodded. "Are you thirsty?"
For a kiss, he thought, telling her he would love a glass of tea.
"Just give me a few minutes. I'll add some ice and sugar."
"And mint." He plucked more leaves and handed them to her, thinking she looked like an island goddess, with her emerald-colored eyes and bare feet.
"And mint," she repeated.
He watched her walk across the grass and lift the jar. As she proceeded to the house, her hair blew around her like a vibrant curtain, each strand shining beneath the sun.
Dakota studied the garden. They were common herbs, but they fascinated him, made him feel connected to the earth. Maybe he would take another trip to the nursery and let the kids get involved. He remembered seeing a mint that smelled like chocolate. Jake and Jenny would probably get a kick out of planting that.
Glancing up, he noticed Kathy coming toward him, minus the iced tea he'd been expecting. "Isn't it strong enough?"
She stood for a second, her expression strange, her eyes cloudy. "You have a phone call."
"Oh." He came to his feet, then stopped, reality taking hold. He didn't need to ask who was on the other line. He already knew. It was Thunder, awaiting his answer. The decision Dakota had momentarily forgotten about.
* * *
Kathy walked beside Dakota. They entered the house together, neither speaking. She'd known this day would come, and she'd known how it would make her feel. Alone, sad, lost.
Dakota paused in the kitchen and stared at the telephone. "I'll take it in the study," he said. The study was the room Dakota used for personal business.
Kathy nodded, and he lifted his hand and grazed her cheek, his touch gentle. She wanted to lean into him, kiss him, hold him. But she didn't. The phone call wouldn't disappear, and she couldn't pretend it wasn't important, that it didn't symbolize the end of their relationship.
They stared at each other, both silent. Finally he turned away and exited the kitchen, leaving her alone.
Kathy studied the blinking telephone. She stood dead still until the light quit flashing, an indication that Dakota had picked up the line in the other room.
The jar of tea sat on the counter, the freshly picked mint beside it. Returning to her task, she filled a glass pitcher with ice and poured the tea into it. She had to keep herself busy, keep herself from tears.
Kathy added sugar to the drink, then watched it sink to the bottom of the container and crystallize.
How could two people in love be losing each other?
Her heart constricted. Deep down, she knew the answer. And it shamed her. She hadn't given their marriage a chance, hadn't believed in the power of love.
It was her fault, all of it. She was the one who had left, who had walked out on her husband without an explanation. He had been a soldier when she'd married him, that fact remained. And she had loved him for being strong and caring, for trying to make the world a better place.
But she had left him for the same reason.
Because she had blamed him for the loss of their child. Blamed him for something that was out of his control.
As Kathy stirred the tea with a wooden spoon, ice cubes clinked against the pitcher. Dakota wanted to dedicate his next mission to the baby they had lost. And he wanted to make the world a safer place for future children.
Children he hoped to have with her.
How could she fault him for that? How could she divorce a man with that kind of honor and integrity?
She couldn't. God help her, she couldn't. Dakota's passion for justice was part of his spirit, part of the warrior she had fallen in love with. And she had no right to ask him to be less than what he was. If she had to share him with the world, then she would.
The tea forgotten, Kathy began to pace. How long would Dakota's phone call take? How long before she could look into his eyes and tell him that she wanted to remain his wife, no matter what the cost?
Thirty minutes passed, and Kathy's decisiveness turned to anxiety. What if Dakota no longer trusted her? What if she had ruined their chance at happiness? How could she convince him that she wouldn't run away again, that she would wait for him, mission after mission?
She wasn't sure what to say, what to do to prove herself.
"Kathy?"
She spun around at the sound of her name.
Her heart in her throat, she stared at Dakota. His T-shirt was untucked, his jeans soiled from the garden. He had raked his hands through his hair, leaving the short, ebony strands in disarray. But to her, a more handsome, more noble man didn't exist.
"Yes?" she asked.
"We need to talk."
Kathy came toward him, her limbs shaky. They headed for the living room where Sugar snuggled on a leather recliner. The dog's ears perked when she saw them. Kathy sat on the sofa, and Dakota stood in the center of the room as though gathering his thoughts.
"I told Thunder I'm not taking this mission," he said.
His admission startled her, causing a quick, unexpected gasp. "You can't do that. You can't give up something that's so important to you."
He sat beside her. "Other things are important, too." He turned to face her, his voice quiet. "And I don't want to lose you."
"But you can't do this just for me."
Dakota took her hand. "It isn't just for you. It's for me, too. Something happened over these past few weeks, Kathy. Moments of contentment I hadn't understood until now. I want to wake up everyday with you beside me. And I want to grow beautiful things together. Flowers, babies."
She wanted that, too. She longed to see her tummy swollen with his child, longed to feel the flutter of life. She slipped her fingers through his, grateful for the physical connection. "But what about the terrorist? What about your need to catch him?"
A frown creased his forehead. "It still exists. But saving my marriage is more important. Even Thunder understood."
"I shouldn't have asked you to make that choice." She looked into his eyes and prayed he would accept her words, believe the truth in them. "I want you to take that mission."
He shook his head. "But I can't leave you alone."
She lifted their joined hands. "Yes, you can. And I promise to wait for you. Forever if I have to."
"You're forcing me to go? I decided to stay home, and you're forcing me to go?" A smile tugged at the corner of his lips. "We're quite a confused pair."
Kathy felt like smiling, too. Crying, smiling, holding him inside her heart. "We're in love. I think it goes with the territory. And I'm not forcing you to do anything. But I think we both need closure, and this mission is it."
"Like starting over where we left off?"
She nodded.
"Does that mean we should renew our wedding vows?"
Her breath rushed out her lungs. He trusted her. She could see the depth, the beauty, the emotion in his eyes. "Do you want to?"
He took her in his arms. "What do you think?"
Before she had the chance the answer, he kissed her, his mouth, his tongue brushing hers. Kathy meant to deepen the kiss, but he drew back.
"If I take this mission," he said. "Then it's going to be my last one. Okay?"
He didn't honestly expect her to argue, did he? "If that's what you want."
"It is. There are other ways to make a difference. The world is full of orphaned and abandoned kids. Children who need parents." He gazed into Kathy's eyes. "I hope you're interested in a big family." A grin teased one corner of his lips. "I'm really into this dad thing."
She closed her eyes, then opened them, testing the dream, the perfection of the man she had married. Not only did he want to raise their own babies, he wanted to adopt. He wanted to give his home and his heart
to those who needed him. He would still be saving a piece of the world, but this time with love. He couldn't have said anything that would have pleased her more. "A big family is all I've ever wanted."
"Then that's what we'll have."
She pictured the ranch, alive with tiny faces and happy voices. "I think Jake and Jenny will approve."
"I'm glad they've become a part of our lives. But it's even more important that they have a caring mother, someone who's trying hard to win them back."
"You're incredible, Lieutenant Lewis." She stood and held out her hand, offering him the security of her touch. The warmth of her body. The start of their future.
Dakota accepted her hand, and she led him to her room. There she collected the gold vase the king and queen had given her. She handed it to Dakota, and they proceeded to the master bedroom. Sealing their emotional declaration, he placed her vase beside his, joining the two pieces as one. Next he removed their wedding photograph from his drawer and centered it between two candles.
Lighting the candles, he smiled, anxious to see the fiery glow dance over Kathy's skin. It was daytime and the sun streamed through the windows, but the candles added a touch of magic, an element of quiet romance.
They turned toward each other and began to undress. While he removed his own clothing, he watched her untie the blouse at her waist, slip the faded jeans from her hips. Her bra and panties fluttered to the floor in a wisp of yellow lace. And then she stood naked before him – a seductive angel, her hair falling in tantalizing waves.
They came together in a kiss, her aroused nipples brushing his chest, his hands sliding down her back, over lean, luscious curves. She smelled as fresh as the Texas breeze, like the mint leaves still tucked behind her ear.
"I love you," he said.
"I love you, too." Her voice was breathy, soft and alluring. "Always."
She nuzzled his neck, then slid her mouth down the center of his chest until she dropped to her knees and kissed his navel. His stomach muscles jumped as her hair tickled his skin. He knew what she intended to do, and he had no will to stop her.
TYCOON WARRIOR Page 17
