A man without honor. A man like Dexter. She’d realized that over the past few days; the rock that had been the foundation of her world had crumbled into dust. Tears burned and she quickly wiped them away, but not before Anita saw.
“It’s time you moved on, Madeline. I’ve seen your desire to get out since long before Rene died. It’s time to bury all your heartache, child, and make a new life for yourself while you’re still young enough.”
“Do you think I can?” Maddie whispered. “Do you really think I can start over?”
“I know you can. Deep down, you know it too. You can do anything you set your mind to.”
For a good hour, Maddie tried to talk Anita into leaving, but to no avail. She knew the longer she tarried, the greater the risk of discovery. Anita walked her out to the dock.
“The Clifford cabin is deserted — least ways, that’s what I hear,” Anita said. “It’s a good four miles up the bayou. You could be there before nightfall, go to ground, and hide for a few days. Now that the girl is safe, I’m willing to bet the police stop searching for you. They’ve got Terrance. That ought to hold them for a while.”
“Terrance will never confess to the kidnapping, and Tom Abbott will never give up. If Penelope’s word isn’t enough, he’ll need me to help charge Terrance with kidnapping.”
Though she tried to put him out of her mind, it was impossible to forget and just as impossible to believe he would ever stop searching for her. His sense of honor wouldn’t let him. No matter how long it took, he would see her behind bars.
She couldn’t shake her fear of imprisonment anymore than she could forget him.
CHAPTER 25
Hands on hips, Maddie stood in the middle of the cabin and studied the pile of things she’d stacked on the table — a pile she’d already culled by more than half. What remained wasn’t much. A small bag of rice and one of red beans. Her skinning knife, a rope, and some cord. Two boxes of buckshot. Her oilskin. Three pair of stockings. A faded sunbonnet and a dark gray sweater at least one size too small but warm. She’d rolled up one of Lawrence’s wool jackets along with a pair of his long johns in case the weather took a turn.
She had no money, possessed nothing of any value save the skills she’d acquired over a lifetime. She vowed if she made good on her escape and established herself elsewhere, she wouldn’t use the tricks Dexter had taught her. She would have to rely on her hunting and trapping expertise — limited at best — and her housekeeping skills. Looking around the shack, she figured that was pitiful collateral.
She glanced out the window. Long shadows warned her the afternoon was slipping away. She had to hurry if she was going to leave before dark. Sorting through her meager possessions again, she reminded herself that she’d been lucky so far, but she couldn’t depend on her luck holding forever. Hopefully, she hadn’t lingered too long already.
She made a trip outside with her stack of clothes to load them in the pirogue.
She walked back in to get more, closed the front door, and gasped when she swung around and found Abbott standing inside the back door holding a large box. Her hand flew to her heart.
“You!”
Frantic, she scanned the room. Her shotgun was propped against the wall within Tom’s reach. They both saw it at the same time.
Her shoulders sagged. She stared at him from across the cabin. They both spoke at once.
“I knew you’d come,” she said.
“I thought you’d be long gone.” He looked at the table. “You’re packing to leave.”
She nodded. There’d be no running now.
He stepped into the room, ignored the shotgun, and held out the box. She hesitated before accepting and then set it on the table. “Open it,” he said. “It’s for you.”
“I don’t want anything from you.” Afraid of losing herself in his stare, she tried to look away but wound up focusing on his lips.
“It’s a gift.”
“Unless it’s a key, it won’t do me much good in jail,” she said softly.
“You’re not going to prison, Maddie.”
“You’re willing to let me go?”
“Terrance confessed. Said he forced you to hide Penelope. Since you returned her of your own accord, you’re in the clear.”
Afraid her legs would give out, she felt around for a chair. Suddenly Tom was beside her. He tossed his hat on the table, drew out a chair, and helped her ease into it.
“I’m not wanted?”
He smiled. “You know how convincing Miss Penelope Perkins can be. She pleaded your case. Fortunately for you, she has her father wrapped around her little finger.”
Maddie wound her own fingers together in her lap, trying to believe there was no reason to run anymore. Save one.
“What’s going to happen to Terrance?”
“There will be a trial in a few weeks. He shot a policeman and kidnapped a child. I doubt he’ll be free for years.”
“Years,” she whispered. “Are you certain?”
“He shot Lawrence. We’ll never know if it was accidental or not.”
Thankful she was already sitting down, she shook her head. “He shot Lawrence? You never said so before.”
Tom shrugged. “I figured you had enough to handle.”
“Lots of men get set free these days.” New Orleans was notorious for its corrupted legal system. That was something Dexter always counted on. “No matter what they did.”
“Stop your worrying. Mr. Perkins might be a Yankee, but he’s got a lot of wealth and power behind him. He’ll see that Terrance pays for what he did.”
She could live the life she’d started here, this time alone. She could stay close to Anita, help out as the woman grew older.
Or she could trap and hunt and save enough money to leave with a free conscience. She could start over where no one knew who or what she was. The choice was hers.
While she sat silently contemplating, Tom reached around her, picked up the box, and set it on her lap. “Open it,” he urged.
She looked up at him curiously before untying the thin piece of cord around it. When she lifted the lid, she saw a finely crafted oil lamp nestled deep in excelsior. The chimney, fluted and rimmed by decorative glass beads, was packed beside the lamp bowl.
“It’s lovely,” she said softly. He held the box for her while she drew out the lamp pieces and set them on the table. “Far too pretty for this place.”
He was so close his arm brushed her shoulder as he reached around her to set the box down. Seconds passed in silence as Tom stared into her eyes.
“You’re the most beautiful thing in this room, Maddie.”
Before she could say anything, he lowered himself to one knee and took her hands in his. It was impossible to pull away as she stared into the dark depths of his eyes.
“I was convinced I was a loner, that there was no place in my life for a woman, but I’m afraid I’m falling in love with you, Maddie Grande.”
For the second time that afternoon, tears filled her eyes. She blinked furiously and pulled her hand free to wipe them away.
“You don’t know me,” she said. “You think you know who I am, what I’ve done, but you don’t know the half of it.”
“I know you’ve lost two children —”
“My husband was knifed in an alley in New Orleans over a stolen watch.”
She looked at the ceiling for a moment before she could meet his gaze again.
“He died over a gold watch. Louie was a thief. Just like me. Just like all of us.” A tear streaked down her cheek. “We were so proud of our son, Rene.” She shook her head in disbelief. “We were proud because he had a knack for stealing. By five he was following in Louie’s footsteps —”
“Stop.” Tom pressed his fingertips to her lips, then ran his knuckles along her cheek. “I don’t care about your past.”
“You should,” she protested. “You are a Pinkerton. A man of honor. A man who tracks down thieves and cutthroats like me and puts them behind bars and I —”
“You are a woman who deserves a second chance at life. You deserve to love and be loved again.”
“Yesterday you were going to turn me in to the police.”
“I had to do my duty. That doesn’t mean it wasn’t killing me. Now you’re free to start over and be the caring, nurturing woman I know you are.”
She was speechless. He believed in her when she could only doubt. He believed there was goodness inside her. She thought of Betsy and her strong faith. She remembered what Penelope had said.
“Do you think everyone has good in them, Tom?”
He thought about it for a moment, searched her eyes. The light in his own eyes dimmed. He shook his head no.
“I’ve seen too much bad in the world to believe there is good in everyone, but—”
“I agree. Which is why this is crazy. I won’t deny that you and I are attracted to each other, but you don’t really love me. You love the woman you want me to be. What if all I’ll ever be is a thief and a liar?” She looked down at their hands. “You are a man of honor,” she whispered. “I have none.”
He got up, pulled over another chair, and sat down beside her. She glanced out the open back door. Night was fast approaching.
“You should go,” she told him.
“I won’t give up that easily,” he said.
“Believe me, I know that.”
“Why did you refuse the Perkins’s reward?”
“Right up until the moment I saw Mrs. Perkins’s face, I wanted that money.”
“I think you took Penelope home because you cared about her and because you knew her mother was suffering.”
She bit her bottom lip to keep it from trembling. “You have no idea what I’ve done.”
“You can’t help the way you were raised, Madeline.”
She searched his face as the past rose up to haunt her. Needing to move, she got to her feet, walking across the room. Flushed and obviously more than a little angry, she heard him close the distance between them. When she tried to bury her face in her hands, he took hold of her wrists. She fought to pull away but he wouldn’t let go.
“Look at me, Maddie,” he said softly. “Whatever you were, whatever that man forced you to become, is not your fault.”
Seeing the warehouse again had brought it all back and stripped away all but the ugly truth. Dexter wasn’t a revered father who’d created a close-knit tribe of urchins and molded them into a family, but a heartless monster who played at being a god.
“I’m no better than he was.”
“He preyed upon defenseless children —”
“And I helped him.” She didn’t try to look away or hide her shame this time. This man thought he loved her. He surely wouldn’t once the whole dark truth was out.
“Make up for what you did by helping me now. I’m looking for a woman who may have been taken into the tribe as a child twenty-three years ago.”
She paused. “You met a missionary in the city. Her name used to be Betsy —”
“Mrs. Henson.”
She nodded. “We were close once, like sisters. I saw her when I had Penelope with me. She told me a Pinkerton had been questioning her.”
“I spoke to her before I knew of the kidnapping. She had mentioned the twins. I put her information together with what the police knew. Tracking the twins led me to you and Anita. I think both you and this Elizabeth, or Betsy, know more than you’re saying about the tribe members. What’s important now, Maddie, is that families be reunited.”
She laughed at the idea. “Reunited? Who would want any of us now?”
“You might be surprised. Did Dexter keep a list of the children’s birth names or where they came from?”
“Of course not.” She brushed her hair back off her face. “Not that I know of, anyway. Everything he had is long gone now. There’s nothing at the old warehouse. We made it so the children didn’t even know their own names.”
“How is that possible?”
“It can be done. Betsy did it and because I was Dexter’s favorite, she taught me how to ‘change’ the children he brought into the tribe.”
“What do you mean, ‘change'?”
She closed her eyes. Her fingers tightened around his.
“Whenever Dexter brought a little one into the tribe, it was up to me and Betsy to ‘change’ them into one of us.” She had to swallow before she could go on. “We put them in armoires, locked them in. Kept them in the dark for weeks, gave them little food and water. We convinced them bad men were after them, men who had killed their parents.”
“Dexter kidnapped all those children?”
“No. Not all. He said some were given to him by their parents, people too poor, too hungry, to keep them. Some had been orphans living on the streets and came to us. Those we didn’t have to change. It was just the little ones Dexter brought home.”
“Did someone change you?”
The idea was abhorrent and terrifying. To even think that once she might have belonged to a real family broke her heart. It would also mean that her entire life had been built upon Dexter’s lies.
“I wasn’t changed. My parents were friends of Dexter’s when they died of yellow fever. They asked him to raise me.”
“Do you remember them?”
“No.”
“How old were you?”
“I’m not sure. Three, maybe.”
“How old are you now?”
“I … I’m not sure. Twenty-six, I think.”
“You’re certain you weren’t changed?”
“Yes. Betsy would have told me the truth; if not back then, she would have told me when I saw her the other night. She was my closest friend.”
“And the twins?”
“I changed Terrance. She changed Lawrence.”
“Do you remember their real names? Before they were changed?”
She heard the disgust in his voice. The disbelief.
“No.”
“Is Madeline your real name? What was your last name?”
“Stop it, Tom! Is this what you do when you interrogate someone? Keep going round and round? Trying to catch them in a lie? Of course it’s my name.” She tried to walk away but he followed her across the room.
He lowered his voice. “The families of those missing children deserve to know what happened to them.”
“But they were not kidnapped.” Even as she protested, she realized she could not be completely certain. She was used to parroting what Dexter had told her. She would never know the truth now.
Before she could protest, she found herself enfolded in Tom’s embrace. He’d moved quickly, smoothly. He was braced for a struggle, she could feel it, but all of the fight had gone out of her.
She melted against him and went so far as to rest her head on his shoulder. If only life was as easy as simply saying yes to the love he offered, as simple as believing in new tomorrows.
She sighed and closed her eyes. His shoulder was warm and solid beneath the fabric of his jacket. She rubbed her cheek against it, inhaled his clean, spicy scent. He stroked her back, ran his fingers through her hair.
His silence was a gift. His embrace a comfort and a temptation.
She didn’t deserve Tom Abbott’s love. She would never deserve him.
Maddie took a deep breath and lifted her head. She stared into the depths of his eyes, touched the crisp curl on his forehead. She held her breath, knowing what was sure to come.
He leaned close and kissed her. Softly, gently at first, and then with an intensity that matched her own. She kissed him back knowing it was good-bye and that she would never kiss him again. Then she pulled away and folded her arms across her midriff, little comfort against her pain.
“Please go now,” she whispered.
“But Maddie—”
She saw the confusion in his eyes and was sorry for the kiss. It was one more selfish transgression to add to her long list.
“Go. You’re only torturing yourself.”
He lo
oked at her possessions piled on the table. “Are you still leaving?”
“I don’t know.” She knew she couldn’t stay. He would dog her and never give up trying to win her heart. “I guess it’s my life to do with as I please now.”
“You know I’ll find you again, Maddie. No matter where you run. Finding people is what I do and I’m good at it.”
“Please. Just go and leave me be.”
Before I lose my resolve. Before I beg you to stay.
She could see he was angry as he turned on his heel, walked over to the table, and picked up his hat. He walked out without bidding her good-bye.
Maddie went over to the table. She started to reach for the glass chimney of the new lamp, but her hands were shaking too hard to trust and so she left it there. Tom Abbott not only knew about Dexter and her past, but now he also knew her darkest secret and what she was capable of. No one outside of the tribe knew of the “changing.”
Any idea of love he thought he had for her would soon fade once he had a chance to contemplate what she’d told him.
Broken, she sank onto a chair and let her tears fall.
CHAPTER 26
As confused as he was angry, Tom decided that if this was what came of being in love, then he was lucky he’d never fallen before. Until now he had convinced himself that marriage was out of the question. He loved his work and felt there was no room in his life for marriage and a family. Maddie had changed all of that. There was no denying the passion behind their kiss before she demanded he walk out of her life. But there was also no denying the pain.
He stood beside his horse, furious at himself for walking out, furious at her for turning him away. He was sick to death of doing the right thing. Seeing her suffer for what she’d done in Dexter’s name, he found himself searching for words of comfort, but nothing could express the depth of his sympathy. That so many innocent children had suffered along with her was incomprehensible.
Seeing Maddie in such despair made it easy to forget he sought justice through law and honor. Right now he was just thankful that Dexter Grande was beyond his reach.
Twilight was upon him, yet in this primeval world where only scant sunlight filtered through the lush, interwoven branches of the treetops, there was little difference between night and day. He turned and stared at the dark interior of the cabin, thought of the woman sitting there alone.
Heart of Lies Page 18
