Sandra’s eyes lit with understanding.
Shiloh stood back, feeling like an outsider. It was time for her to leave. Obviously she wasn’t needed or wanted here any longer.
While the two talked, Shiloh slipped out the front entrance, her throat choked with emotion. She quickly hailed a taxi and climbed inside. “Oak Haven. Tenth and Reynolds.”
Shiloh rested her head against the seat and closed her eyes. Life was overwhelming at the moment, and she couldn’t stop the tears from taking over.
When the taxi pulled up to the nursing facility, Shiloh wasn’t sure if she should even go inside. Would she be any good for her father in this state?
Angry with herself, she wiped her eyes and paid the fare. It had been a few days since she’d seen him. Maybe a visit with her father was exactly what she needed.
She hesitated outside his door, trying to pull herself together. When she entered Mrs. Craig looked up and smiled.
“Miss Templar. I didn’t know you were coming. Your father hasn’t been very responsive today. He’s spent most of the day sleeping.”
“Is that normal?” Shiloh’s stomach dropped into her feet. Could this day get any worse?
“We’re watching him closely. If we get concerned, you’ll be the first to know.”
“You’ve dealt with this disease. What do you think?” Shiloh wanted the truth. She’d done the reading, knew the warning signs, but wanted Mrs. Craig to confirm it.
“Shiloh, you and I both know that every case is different. It could be that his mind just needs a rest right now. Or it could be that his body is shutting down. Only time will tell.”
Shiloh rubbed her forehead, knowing what the nurse said was true. No one could know.
The mind was so complex, and her father’s illness held such a mystery. No one knew why an Alzheimer’s patient’s brains produced the plaque that ate away at normal brain tissue. And the doctors didn’t have a clue as to why one patient deteriorated faster than another. But part of it seemed to stem from age of onset of the disease. The younger the patient, the quicker the plaque spread. Her father had been considered on the young side and had subsequently deteriorated at a fast rate.
“Could I have some time alone with him?” Shiloh asked, holding back the tears threatening her again. She was a ball of raw emotion. Feelings she’d held at bay for far too long bombarded her now.
She’d allow herself this moment of weakness. But somehow she’d have to get herself back under control before she fell apart completely. That was one thing she didn’t want anyone to see.
Nicholas couldn’t believe Shiloh just up and left. She was supposed to have protection at all times. Especially with Hank shot, she should know that wouldn’t change.
His temper threatened to boil over. When he located her, she was going to hear about it, too. Damn stubborn woman.
He jumped into his Mustang, trying to think like Shiloh. What would she do? She would go somewhere she felt safe. Oak Haven. To her father.
He’d seen the pain in Shiloh’s eyes when she’d watched Sandra with her parents. He could imagine what she was feeling. Jealousy. Regret. Hopelessness. He’d feel that same way if he knew his mother were dying. Shiloh’s mother had died during the time a girl needed a woman in her life.
He rubbed at the tension at the back of his neck, remembering the resentment he’d felt for all the boys in school that had their fathers with them at ball games. He couldn’t even remember his dad. His mother had tried her best to fill the void his death had left, but at times he was still lonely for the father and son relationship his friends had.
Maybe that was why he was so drawn to Shiloh. She had that emptiness in her heart too. A void only another person who’d lost a parent would feel and understand.
And he was going to try to fill that hole for her. To be there for her. He loved her and he wanted to take care of her.
Ten minutes later, Nick parked in the visitors’ area of Oak Haven and bounded toward the entrance, hoping his instincts were right and that she was inside with her father.
He took the elevator up, thinking about what he wanted to say. The last thing he intended to do was add to her troubles, and he could very well do that with his confession if he wasn’t careful.
On his way down the hall he ran into her father’s private care nurse.
“Mr. Trent. I’m glad you’re here. I’m worried about Ms. Templar. Her father isn’t doing well and I just don’t know how she’s going to deal with losing him.”
Nick pointed to the door. “Is she in there?”
“Yes. She wanted some time alone with him. When she came earlier she looked as if she’d been crying. Do you know what’s wrong?”
“My partner at the agency was shot this afternoon. She’s upset about that.”
“I’m so sorry. Are you all right?”
“I’m fine.”
"Shiloh looks exhausted. You should take her home.”
He nodded and smiled. “I’ll do that.”
Nick walked into the room. Shiloh sat next to her father’s bed. Her quiet sobs were barely audible. His emotions tilted. It hurt to see her like this. He could deal with the cold Ice Princess––but with this Shiloh, he was at a loss. He walked over and caressed a strand of her auburn hair. She looked up, her eyes glassy.
“What are you doing here?”
“I was worried about you. Remember, you’re not supposed to be alone. You okay?”
“Perfect. I almost cost a man his life today. My father hasn’t responded to me at all since I arrived here, and someone’s trying to kill me. So I can honestly say my life’s just peachy.”
Nick couldn’t help but smile. She still had her spirit.
“Ah, I’ve had worse days,” he said, hoping to lighten her mood.
“Right. Probably the day you got a new director.”
Nick grimaced. “Yeah, that was pretty bad, but I’ve had a couple of memorable moments with her since.”
She sniffed, and fought the smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. “I’m sorry about Hank. If I could take his place right now, I would.”
Nick shook his head. “Nonsense. This wasn’t your fault.”
“It was. If I didn’t have this lunatic trying to kill me, Hank wouldn’t be in the hospital.”
“You are not responsible for this nutcase, Shiloh. We’ll catch him, and he’ll pay. Now let’s get you home. You look wiped out.”
“I’m fine.”
“You’re not fine. Come on. My car’s out front.”
Though her shoulders slumped in defeat, she rose and grabbed her purse. Clearly the fight was all out of her. He’d take her home, and after a short nap he’d tell her what he intended to. That he loved her with all his heart and couldn’t do a damn thing to change that.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Shiloh pushed open her apartment door, feeling Nicholas’ warm breath on the back of her neck. Did he have to stand so darn close?
She wanted to put some distance between them so she stepped inside the foyer. But that allowed him to enter. Shiloh closed the door and turned on the security system she’d had installed after the break in. Hah! Security, that was a laugh. Who was going to protect her from Nicholas? He had the power to hurt her far worse than any physical pain someone else could inflict.
“Did you want to order something to eat? I may have some frozen dinners in the freezer.” She clasped her hands together to keep them from shaking.
He moved further into the room, looking a bit anxious. “Not right now. Why don’t you go lie down awhile? Get some rest. I’m going to call the hospital and check on Hank. Then I’ll contact Freeman to see if he’s found out anything on this Grady character.”
“I think you’re wasting your time, Nicholas. Sheppard wouldn’t be that stupid.”
He arched an eyebrow. “You’d be surprised how stupid a scorned man can be.”
Heat crept up Shiloh’s cheeks. Had he meant himself? Did Nicholas feel rejected by her?
Suddenly overwhelmed with discomfort, she pointed to her bedroom door. “I’m going to lie down. Wake me if you hear anything.”
“Will do,” he confirmed, then unclipped his phone. “Sleep well.”
Once in her bedroom, Shiloh kicked off her shoes, removed her jacket, then hung it in her closet. After she’d unbuttoned the top buttons of her blouse, she went to lie on the bed.
Her life was a mess. She was in love with a man she had no right to be in love with. Another man wanted her dead, and her father couldn’t remember who she was most of the time. Could life get any worse?
A few weeks ago she’d thought things were finally turning around. A new job. In a new city. She was starting over. Only starting over hadn’t been all she hoped it would be—just the opposite. It was a huge disaster and she had only herself to blame.
Closing her eyes, she dreaded her next confrontation with Nicholas. She had to tell him how she felt. Would he feel the same? And if he didn’t, then what would she do?
Nick was relieved Hank’s condition had been upgraded from critical to stable, but guarded.
He blew out a ragged breath. Thank you, God.
He punched in another sequence of numbers and waited, hoping Freeman had some information about Grady Sheppard by now.
“Freeman,” he answered, his voice raised above the noise in the precinct.
“Gary, it’s Nick.”
“Nick, how’s Hank doing?”
“He’s stable.” Nick heard him release a deep breath.
“Good to hear. Hank’s a good man.”
Freeman’s admission knocked Nick for a loop. Maybe he’d underestimated the man. Could there be a semi-caring person beneath that smart-ass exterior? “Did you find anything on Sheppard?”
“Yeah, I was about to call you. I contacted CIA’s Seattle office. Seems a mess with our director cost him his job. And rumors, his marriage too. It was blatant sexual harassment. They told me the director had just cause to bring the suit against him. He’d even harass her in front of everyone. It was like a game to him.
“Earlier, Gale Symms, an agent in Texas, had filed a similar suit against him. Same degrading stuff.” Gary took a breath. “He sounds like a real winner. Anyway, he even went so far as to try to rape our director in the CIA parking lot. They caught it on a security camera tape. The only reason he didn’t go to jail was a deal was struck. CIA didn’t want to look bad.”
Nick snorted loudly.
“Anyway,” Freeman continued, “Shiloh was recommended to DNS for the director’s position and Sheppard was fired. And now we’re getting to the good stuff. This Ms. Symms, the woman who filed the first suit against him… is missing… Has been for a while and no one has seen Sheppard in weeks. We got hold of his wife’s phone records. She received a call a few nights ago. Guess where the call came from?”
“Here in DC?” Nick guessed.
“Yep. At some fleabag motel off MacArthur Blvd. I sent some of the guys out there to see if they could find him. If this is the guy who shot Hank, he needs a head pounding real bad.”
“If you find him," Nick said, "make sure everyone plays by the book. We don’t want this guy to walk.”
“Where are you now?” Gary asked.
“The director’s apartment. You need me, you got my number. Hey, good job, Gary.”
“No problem. This guy should have been in jail in Seattle. I know I’ve said some crude things lately about you and the director. I’m sorry. I guess I didn’t realize how serious this situation was.”
“Forget about it. Let me know if the guys pick Sheppard up.”
“Sure thing.”
Nick ended the call and sat the phone on the coffee table.
What a day. He was tired too. Maybe a few hours of rest could do him some good as well.
He plopped down onto the sofa, laid his head back, and closed his eyes. What was he going to say to Shiloh when she woke up? Would it be a mistake to tell her how he felt? What if she laughed at him?
He turned his head from side to side. What if she didn’t? Could something, for once in his life, go right? What if he got lucky and she felt the same as he did about a future together?
What would that mean? Marriage? A family? He did want kids. A bunch of them, in fact. Would Shiloh? And would she be willing to give up her career to have them?
A light tap on his knee made him open his eyes.
Nick found Shiloh on her knees in front of him, a wary look evident. Her face was more than beautiful. She was breathtaking. “You okay?” he asked, sitting upright. He couldn’t believe he hadn’t heard her come into the room. He was losing his edge.
“Nick, I need to tell you something.”
His heart started a drum roll in his chest––so fast it hurt. Whatever it was, it didn’t look good. In fact, she didn’t look happy at all, which had to be a bad sign.
“What is it?” he forced himself to ask.
“I-ah.” She hesitated, then turned away.
Nick reached over and grasped her chin lightly, forcing her attention back to him.
“Tell me.”
Tears glistened in her beautiful green eyes, and his heart sank.
“You’re freaking me out, Shiloh.”
She swallowed hard and whispered, “I think I love you.”
“Huh?" Could he have heard her right?
She frowned. “I’m not going to say it again. It was hard enough the first time.”
Nick’s heart leaped into his throat. “Did you say you love me?”
“I think so,” she said in a shaky voice.
“You mean you think you said it, or think you love me?”
“I think, I love you,” she repeated.
“But you’re not sure?”
“No!” Her tone was sharp. “I’ve never been in love before.”
“Well, what does it feel like?”
“It hurts. I don’t like it.”
He tried hard not to smile at her anger. He’d experienced those exact feelings. He watched her eyes narrow and her mouth thin into a hard line. “Aren’t you going to say anything?”
Nick shrugged. “What do you want me to say?”
“Nothing.” She tried to get up, but Nick pulled her onto his lap instead. This was what he’d hoped for, and he needed time to think of just the right words to express his feelings.
“Let me go.” She struggled to work her way out of his lap, only to cause a stirring in his pants. “Shiloh, sit still. Unless you want a full-blown erection between your legs.”
She scowled at him.
“Listen. This isn’t easy for me to say. You’re the most exasperating woman I’ve ever met.”
“You’re no—”
“Shush,” he said, covering her mouth with his hand. “Anyway, you’re not an easy woman to love, but I do, damn it. I don’t care if you’re my boss. I could care less about the age thing. I want to be with you, and I don’t care who knows it.”
The struggling on his lap ceased, and he released the grip on her mouth. “Okay, you can talk now.”
“But what about regulations?”
“I’ll quit DNS,” Nick said.
“No, you can’t do that. The Department needs all the good men it can get.”
Nick couldn’t believe what she’d just said. “But I don’t fit the mold, remember?”
“I was wrong, Nicholas. You fit in better than I do. I never deserved the director’s position in the first place. I have no idea how I got it.” She studied his face.
Nick wasn’t about to tell her what Freeman had told him earlier, even though knowing everything could help if someone threw the circumstances of the promotion in her face. But hurting her would hurt him. He just couldn’t do that.
“So what are we going to do, then?” Nick ran his hand up her thigh.
“Do we continue to fight these feelings or make this work somehow?”
“I’d really like to make it work. But there are a lot of things we need to ta
lk about. Are you ready for a commitment, Nick?”
“You called me Nick. Do you know that’s the first time you’ve ever called me that?”
She caressed his cheek with her fingers. “I love you, Nick.”
He growled. “Come here and show me how much.” He leaned in and kissed the woman he now knew loved him.
He ended the kiss quickly. “Have you ever done it on this sofa?” he asked, brushing a strand of her auburn hair behind her ear.
“No, but we could christen it together.”
“Sounds good. Would you care if you were on top? I think it’s too short for us to do it the conventional way.”
“I think I could.” She leaned in to kiss his bottom lip, sucking it into her mouth.
Nick wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her against him.
He wasn’t going to hold anything back. Now that they’d said the words aloud, their love was sealed, bonding them together––and for Nick, nothing else mattered.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Nick stood under the shower spray, whistling an upbeat tune as he soaped up his shoulders. He’d left Shiloh in the bedroom, asleep. The mere thought of her made him smile. After last night’s passion, she deserved to rest.
His grin grew wider as he remembered their evening. Unbelievable was the only word to describe it.
Turning to rinse his back, he watched the shower door slide open. Shiloh leaned on the frame, stark naked, eyeing him from head to toe.
“Mind if I join you?” She stepped inside and closed the door before he could say a word.
“Good morning.” He pulled her under the spray next to him. The instant she melted against his slick body, he knew why people raved about showering with someone. It was earth shattering. The feel of her slick body against his wet body was erotic as hell.
“May I have the soap?” She licked her bottom lip.
Nick swallowed hard and handed her the fresh-scented bar.
She rolled the soap around in her hands, then gave it back. Her eyes sparkled with mischief as she inched a soapy palm down his stomach to his now engorged cock, working up a lather around it.
Agent in Training Page 13
