“It means I’m serious about doing well. I’m not sure I’m quite there yet.”
Freya was silent again. Just as Clare was going to say something else, she said, “I don’t know what this means for us.”
Nothing could have surprised her more. She thought Freya had written her off, angry at her deception and drug use. “You think there’s some chance for us?”
Freya’s eyes shimmered with tears. “You betrayed me, and I don’t know if I can forgive that. Everything our relationship was based on was a lie. I don’t even know who I was in a relationship with.”
Her old partner, shame, took up residence in her chest. “I can’t defend myself because you’re right. All I can say is my actions were partly ruled by my addiction. I take full responsibility for them. I’m hoping sobriety will make me a better person.”
“You’re not a bad person, Clare,” Freya said gently.
“Well, I was pretty messed up. I can’t blame you for being wary of me.”
Freya still had her coat on. “How sure can I be you’ll stay clean and sober? Everything I know about drugs tells me that relapse happens all the time, that not that many make it.”
Clare began to feel anxious. The talk about their relationship was unsettling. She knew almost anything was a threat to her sobriety at this stage, certainly the emotional complexities of being in love. She wanted to go home to the sober house. “I have a sponsor. Her name is Cheryl and she’s been kind enough to put up with me these past weeks.”
Freya looked puzzled. “Okay.”
“One thing Cheryl has told me is to avoid any romantic relationships in the first year of sobriety so I can concentrate on getting better. Let’s say you could handle taking a chance on me. The truth is I’m not available. I’m going to try to do what’s suggested to me. I’m going to try my best to stay sober.”
Freya leaned back in her chair and drank from her cup. “I’m relieved, to tell you the truth. Now is not the time for either of us to pick up where we left off.”
“I wonder if there will be such a time.”
“I hope so, but who knows? A lot can happen in a year.”
“Yes, a lot can. If I call you in a year, will you talk with me?” Clare said. A tear leaked out and Freya handed her a napkin.
“Of course, I’ll take your call. We’ll see where we are.”
“But you may get into a new relationship in that year.” She wiped her face. “This might be it for us.”
“It’s possible. It doesn’t seem likely right now, but it could happen. I still have feelings for you, Clare. But there’ve been stomped on pretty good.” She finished her coffee and rose from the table using her cane. Clare was riveted to her chair. “I’ll talk to you in a year.” She put her hand on Clare’s shoulder and walked out of the café.
How was she going to finish her shift? How many body blows could she handle in one day? She glanced at her watch and saw her fifteen minutes had long been over. The other barista on duty was giving her dirty looks. She got up and returned to work. Her sponsor had also told her if she kept doing the next right thing, everything would work out fine. That seemed impossibly naive, but what alternative did she have? She could leave work and hide in her bed all day, but she’d feel bad about that, on top of everything else.
A new customer stepped up to the counter and Clare gave her a smile. The next right thing was in front of her—do her job well and act like someone who had their act together. Maybe at some point, it would become true.
About the Author
Anne Laughlin is the award-winning author of five previous novels published by BSB. She is the winner of four Goldie Awards and has been short-listed three times for a Lambda Literary Award. She has attended many writing residencies including Ragdale and the Vermont Studio Center. In 2008, Anne was named an emerging writer by the Lambda Literary Foundation and asked to return in 2014. Her short story, “It Only Occurred to Me Lately,” was named a finalist in the Saints & Sinners short fiction contest. Anne lives in her hometown of Chicago with her wife, Linda, and their two cats.
Books Available from Bold Strokes Books
Bet Against Me by Fiona Riley. In the high stakes luxury real estate market, everything has a price, and as rival Realtors Trina Lee and Kendall Yates find out, that means their hearts and souls, too. (978-1-63555-729-9)
Broken Reign by Sam Ledel. Together on an epic journey in search of a mysterious cure, a princess and a village outcast must overcome life-threatening challenges and their own prejudice if they want to survive. (978-1-63555-739-8)
Just One Taste by CJ Birch. For Lauren, it only took one taste to start trusting in love again. (978-1-63555-772-5)
Lady of Stone by Barbara Ann Wright. Sparks fly as a magical emergency forces a noble embarrassed by her ability to submit to a low-born teacher who resents everything about her. (978-1-63555-607-0)
Last Resort by Angie Williams. Katie and Rhys are about to find out what happens when you meet the girl of your dreams but you aren’t looking for a happily ever after. (978-1-63555-774-9)
Longing for You by Jenny Frame. When Debrek housekeeper Katie Brekman is attacked amid a burgeoning vampire-witch war, Alexis Villiers must go against everything her clan believes in to save her. (978-1-63555-658-2)
Money Creek by Anne Laughlin. Clare Lehane is a troubled lawyer from Chicago who tries to make her way in a rural town full of secrets and deceptions. (978-1-63555-795-4)
Passion’s Sweet Surrender by Ronica Black. Cam and Blake are unable to deny their passion for each other, but surrendering to love is a whole different matter. (978-1-63555-703-9)
The Holiday Detour by Jane Kolven. It will take everything going wrong to make Dana and Charlie see how right they are for each other. (978-1-63555-720-6)
Too Hot to Ride by Andrews & Austin. World famous cutting horse champion and industry legend Jane Barrow is knockdown sexy in the way she moves, talks, and rides, and Rae Starr is determined not to get involved with this womanizing gambler. (978-1-63555-776-3)
A Love that Leads to Home by Ronica Black. For Carla Sims and Janice Carpenter, home isn’t about location, it’s where your heart is. (978-1-63555-675-9)
Blades of Bluegrass by D. Jackson Leigh. A US Army occupational therapist must rehab a bitter veteran who is a ticking political time bomb the military is desperate to disarm. (978-1-63555-637-7)
Guarding Hearts by Jaycie Morrison. As treachery and temptation threaten the women of the Women’s Army Corps, who will risk it all for love? (978-1-63555-806-7)
Hopeless Romantic by Georgia Beers. Can a jaded wedding planner and an optimistic divorce attorney possibly find a future together? (978-1-63555-650-6)
Hopes and Dreams by PJ Trebelhorn. Movie theater manager Riley Warren is forced to face her high school crush and tormentor, wealthy socialite Victoria Thayer, at their twentieth reunion. (978-1-63555-670-4)
In the Cards by Kimberly Cooper Griffin. Daria and Phaedra are about to discover that love finds a way, especially when powers outside their control are at play. (978-1-63555-717-6)
Moon Fever by Ileandra Young. SPEAR agent Danika Karson must clear her werewolf friend of multiple false charges while teaching her vampire girlfriend to resist the blood mania brought on by a full moon. (978-1-63555-603-2)
Quake City by St John Karp. Can Andre find his best friend Amy before the night devolves into a nightmare of broken hearts, malevolent drag queens, and spontaneous human combustion? Or has it always happened this way, every night, at Aunty Bob’s Quake City Club? (978-1-63555-723-7)
Serenity by Jesse J. Thoma. For Kit Marsden, there are many things in life she cannot change. Serenity is in the acceptance. (978-1-63555-713-8)
Sylver and Gold by Michelle Larkin. Working feverishly to find a killer before he strikes again, Boston Homicide Detective Reid Sylver and rookie cop London Gold are blindsided by their chemistry and developing attraction. (978-1-63555-611-7)
Trade Secrets by Kathleen Knowles. In Silicon Valley, lov
e and business are a volatile mix for clinical lab scientist Tony Leung and venture capitalist Sheila Graham. (978-1-63555-642-1)
Death Overdue by David S. Pederson. Did Heath turn to murder in an alcohol induced haze to solve the problem of his blackmailer, or was it someone else who brought about a death overdue? (978-1-63555-711-4)
Entangled by Melissa Brayden. Becca Crawford is the perfect person to head up the Jade Hotel, if only the captivating owner of the local vineyard would get on board with her plan and stop badmouthing the hotel to everyone in town. (978-1-63555-709-1)
First Do No Harm by Emily Smith. Pierce and Cassidy are about to discover that when it comes to love, sometimes you have to risk it all to have it all. (978-1-63555-699-5)
Kiss Me Every Day by Dena Blake. For Wynn Evans, wishing for a do-over with Carly Jamison was a long shot, actually getting one was a game changer. (978-1-63555-551-6)
Olivia by Genevieve McCluer. In this lesbian Shakespeare adaptation with vampires, Olivia is a centuries old vampire who must fight a strange figure from her past if she wants a chance at happiness. (978-1-63555-701-5)
One Woman’s Treasure by Jean Copeland. Daphne’s search for discarded antiques and treasures leads to an embarrassing misunderstanding, and ultimately, the opportunity for the romance of a lifetime with Nina. (978-1-63555-652-0)
Silver Ravens by Jane Fletcher. Lori has lost her girlfriend, her home, and her job. Things don’t improve when she’s kidnapped and taken to fairyland. (978-1-63555-631-5)
Still Not Over You by Jenny Frame, Carsen Taite, Ali Vali. Old flames die hard in these tales of a second chance at love with the ex you’re still not over. Stories by award winning authors Jenny Frame, Carsen Taite, and Ali Vali. (978-1-63555-516-5)
Storm Lines by Jessica L. Webb. Devon is a psychologist who likes rules. Marley is a cop who doesn’t. They don’t always agree, but both fight to protect a girl immersed in a street drug ring. (978-1-63555-626-1)
The Politics of Love by Jen Jensen. Is it possible to love across the political divide in a hostile world? Conservative Shelley Whitmore and liberal Rand Thomas are about to find out. (978-1-63555-693-3)
All the Paths to You by Morgan Lee Miller. High school sweethearts Quinn Hughes and Kennedy Reed reconnect five years after they break up and realize that their chemistry is all but over. (978-1-63555-662-9)
Arrested Pleasures by Nanisi Barrett D’Arnuck. When charged with a crime she didn’t commit, Katherine Lowe faces the question: Which is harder, going to prison or falling in love? (978-1-63555-684-1)
Bonded Love by Renee Roman. Carpenter Blaze Carter suffers an injury that shatters her dreams, and ER nurse Trinity Greene hopes to show her that sometimes love is worth fighting for. (978-1-63555-530-1)
Convergence by Jane C. Esther. With life as they know it on the line, can Aerin McLeary and Olivia Ando’s love survive an otherworldly threat to humankind? (978-1-63555-488-5)
Coyote Blues by Karen F. Williams. Riley Dawson, psychotherapist and shape-shifter, has her world turned upside down when Fiona Bell, her one true love, returns. (978-1-63555-558-5)
Drawn by Carsen Taite. Will the clues lead Detective Claire Hanlon to the killer terrorizing Dallas, or will she merely lose her heart to person of interest, urban artist Riley Flynn? (978-1-63555-644-5)
Every Summer Day by Lee Patton. Meant to celebrate every summer day, Luke’s journal instead chronicles a love affair as fast-moving and possibly as fatal as his brother’s brain tumor. (978-1-63555-706-0)
Lucky by Kris Bryant. Was Serena Evans’s luck really about winning the lottery, or is she about to get even luckier in love? (978-1-63555-510-3)
The Last Days of Autumn by Donna K. Ford. Autumn and Caroline question the fairness of life, the cruelty of loss, and what it means to love as they navigate the complicated minefield of relationships, grief, and life-altering illness. (978-1-63555-672-8)
Three Alarm Response by Erin Dutton. In the midst of tragedy, can these first responders find love and healing? Three stories of courage, bravery, and passion. (978-1-63555-592-9)
Veterinary Partner by Nancy Wheelton. Callie and Lauren are determined to keep their hearts safe but find that taking a chance on love is the safest option of all. (978-1-63555-666-7)
Everyday People by Louis Barr. When film star Diana Danning hires private eye Clint Steele to find her son, Clint turns to his former West Point barracks mate, and ex-buddy with benefits, Mars Hauser to lend his cyber espionage and digital black ops skills to the case. (978-1-63555-698-8)
Forging a Desire Line by Mary P. Burns. When Charley’s ex-wife, Tricia, is diagnosed with inoperable cancer, the private duty nurse Tricia hires turns out to be the handsome and aloof Joanna, who ignites something inside Charley she isn’t ready to face. (978-1-63555-665-0)
Love on the Night Shift by Radclyffe. Between ruling the night shift in the ER at the Rivers and raising her teenage daughter, Blaise Richilieu has all the drama she needs in her life, until a dashing young attending appears on the scene and relentlessly pursues her. (978-1-63555-668-1)
Olivia’s Awakening by Ronica Black. When the daring and dangerously gorgeous Eve Monroe is hired to get Olivia Savage into shape, a fierce passion ignites, causing both to question everything they’ve ever known about love. (978-1-63555-613-1)
The Duchess and the Dreamer by Jenny Frame. Clementine Fitzroy has lost her faith and love of life. Can dreamer Evan Fox make her believe in life and dream again? (978-1-63555-601-8)
The Road Home by Erin Zak. Hollywood actress Gwendolyn Carter is about to discover that losing someone you love sometimes means gaining someone to fall for. (978-1-63555-633-9)
Waiting for You by Elle Spencer. When passionate past-life lovers meet again in the present day, one remembers it vividly and the other isn’t so sure. (978-1-63555-635-3)
While My Heart Beats by Erin McKenzie. Can a love born amidst the horrors of the Great War survive? (978-1-63555-589-9)
BOLDSTROKESBOOKS.COM
Looking for your next great read?
Visit BOLDSTROKESBOOKS.COM
to browse our entire catalog of paperbacks, ebooks, and audiobooks.
Want the first word on what’s new?
Visit our website for event info,
author interviews, and blogs.
Subscribe to our free newsletter for sneak peeks,
new releases, plus first notice of promos
and daily bargains
SIGN UP AT
BOLDSTROKESBOOKS.COM/signup
Money Creek Page 27
