Ignoring the shooting pain through my arm, I raise my hand to his cheek and force his lips back to mine. “Don’t do that to yourself,” I beg of him. “This is on me. I made the decision to go to the Wolves. I’ve been around gangs my whole life, I should have known that this was a possibility, but I overlooked it in my need to get revenge.”
“I’m going to fucking kill them,” he promises me. “Every last one of them who dared put their hands on you.”
“You can’t,” I insist, hating the words as they slip off my tongue. There's nothing I want more than to end them for the fresh hell they just put me through, but without them, I’m left to stand against Nic on my own. I’ll never get close to him like that, not now, not after everything that’s gone down.
“I don’t give a shit about that, not anymore. They took it too far.”
“I can’t just stop this, Colton. Look at everything that’s happened. If I give up now, that means Nic wins, and after everything he’s done, I can’t let that happen. We’ve already come so far. Too much has happened for me to wave a white flag now.” I gesture down my broken and beaten body, trying to ignore the millions of questions flooding my mind. “Look at me,” I demand. “All of this would be for nothing. I can’t let that happen, and I know deep down, you can’t either.”
“Babe…” he groans.
“Please,” I whisper, desperately needing him to see this from where I stand. I take his bruised hand in mine and bring it to my lips, gently kissing his split knuckles. “Let this go. I want to have a future, and I want it so badly with you, but without this … we don’t stand a chance. You don’t know Nic like I do. He will not stop. He’s obsessed, and now that I’ve turned my back on him and betrayed his trust, I'll never be safe. We can deal with the Wolves later, but I have to finish what I started first.”
He goes to respond, and I see the objection in his eyes, but Mom comes back in with the doctor on her heels, desperately ushering him into the room so she can hang on every last word he has to offer.
Colton glances away, but there’s a silent promise in the air that we’ll be talking about this later. He doesn't dare take his hand from mine as the doctor walks deeper into the room and picks up the chart at the foot of my bed. “Miss Oceania,” he says in a displeased tone. His eyes remain on the chart, scanning through the papers. “How are you feeling?”
I raise a brow and instantly regret it. “Like I just got run over by a train.”
“I can imagine,” he grumbles in a disapproving tone, making me wonder what the hell he knows. If I was an innocent victim, I’d assume that his attitude would be a shitload better. But at the end of the day, his attitude isn’t what matters, it’s what he has to say that does.
“Just rip it off like a bandaid,” I tell him. “Give it to me straight.”
Mom presses her lips into a tight line, more than inclined to hear the news in the soft, gentle way that she would have done it, but I’m not down for that today. Too much has happened to be wasting time with niceties.
“Okay,” he tells me, letting out a deep breath and carelessly dropping the chart back into place before looking at me, making his disapproval more than obvious. “You nearly lost your life today by playing ridiculous games with gang members, so I hope that this will be a lesson to you.” Colton flinches at my side, and I squeeze his hand to reel him in. “Three men are sitting in my waiting room, terrifying the patients, who are already being robbed of my attention.”
Colton growls. “You’re telling me that my girlfriend gets jumped by a fucking gang, and you want to start blaming her?”
“We had no gang activity in Bellevue Springs before this young lady moved in.”
Colton stands, glaring at the doctor. “You’ll be smart to remember who owns this fucking hospital and pays for your fucking penthouse apartment, your mistress, and the gambling addiction. Now, Ocean has asked you to tell her about her injuries. You have three fucking seconds to do that without the goddamn shitty attitude before I put in a call to the board and have your license revoked.”
Well, well. If I wasn’t stuck in a hospital bed, wanting nothing more than to bathe in a tub full of morphine, I’d be all over that fucking boss of a man. There’s nothing sexier than Colton Carrington in alpha mode.
The doctor clenches his jaw, not taking kindly to threats from an eighteen-year-old kid, but not willing to risk his career on it either. He turns back to me and finally gets on with it. “You have severe, deep bruising all over your body and multiple lacerations. We’ve done a thorough check and are confident that you have no internal bleeding. You will be in quite a bit of pain for a few weeks. However, it will be manageable with some pain medication. You will need to stay a few days for observation.”
I glance at Mom before looking back at the doctor. “And the baby?”
Colton’s hand flinches again as we all seem to concentrate extremely hard on the doctor. “The baby seems to be doing well. There’s still a heartbeat, however extremely weak. It is imperative that you rest and take care of yourself. Absolutely no stress permitted,” he tells me, confusing me as a cloud of disappointment fares through me, making me feel like a horrible person. “There is quite deep bruising around your abdomen, which is why we need to hold you for observation. You’re at a very high risk of miscarriage, so as soon as we can, we’ll have a sonographer come and perform an ultrasound. It will also be wise to see an obstetrician who will see you through your pregnancy. I’m assuming you haven’t looked into that yet?”
I press my lips into a tight line and shake my head. The doctor sighs as though my lack of attention to my healthcare is appalling, and honestly, he’d be right. But where I’m from, you're lucky just to have an obstetrician on call when you happen to walk through the doors with a baby falling out of your cooch. Otherwise, it’s up to the ER doctors, and you just have to hope that they know what they’re doing.
“Alright,” he tells me. “I’ll have a list of the best obstetricians in the area put together. Is there anything else I can do for you?” he questions, looking at me though I know the question is open for Colton as well.
“No, thank you,” I tell him, nodding and watching as he excuses himself from the room, leaving us all nervously lost in our own thoughts.
I nearly lost the baby today, and for some reason, I can't find it within myself to be hurt about it. That must make me a monster. This is my child, my flesh and blood but at the same time, it’s also Jude’s, and that makes me resent this child. How will I have this baby and not see Jude in his or her eyes? How will I not always wonder if it’ll turn out just like its father?
Is losing this baby really such a bad thing?
Fuck. I should hate myself for even having that thought. This child is innocent. It can’t help who its father is, and it seems that I’m no better to have as a mother. If I was to have this baby, I'll fail it. There’s no doubt in my mind. How could I be what a baby needs? There are much better parents out there, not me.
The room remains silent until a chirpy blonde comes striding through the door, pushing a big machine. She gives me a warm smile. “Good evening, Ocean. Are you ready to see your baby?”
Fear settles through me. It was a shock seeing it the first time, but seeing it again, now knowing that it’s Jude’s … yeah, I don’t think I’m ready for that, but I really don’t think I have a choice.
She shuffles in beside my bed, and Mom moves around her to remain as close as possible. She begins setting it up and looks over me with a sad smile. “I’m sorry this happened to you,” she tells me before reaching over and gently peeling my blankets down. “Now, I’m going to have to lift your gown,” she says, warning me, in case I need to send Colton or Mom out, but there’s no way in hell. “Due to your state, it would be too risky to do an internal ultrasound, so we’re going to have to settle for the good old kind and hope bub is strong enough to hear.”
My brows furrow, not really understanding anything that’s going on as she raises my gown over my stomach.
It’s still as flat as a pancake, but it sure looks different. My whole abdomen is covered in deep bruising, and it’s a miracle that I don’t have any broken ribs or internal bleeding. “Holy shit,” Mom breathes at the state of my purple and blue skin, taking it all in while Colton looks like he wants to run out of here and beat the living shit out of the Wolves who have claimed the waiting room.
“Okay, this might be cold,” the sonographer tells me before squeezing a clear gel onto my stomach. She presses the wand against my abdomen and cringes as she meets my eye. “I’m sorry, love. I'm going to have to press down. It may be a little uncomfortable.”
I nod, holding onto Colton’s hand a little bit tighter, and as the soft, rhythmic drumming of a heartbeat fills the room, all eyes turn toward the screen. “Ahh, there he is.”
“He?” my mom asks, her eyes lifting to the chirpy blonde.
The sonographer shakes her head. “Sorry, I tend to refer to them all as ‘he’ out of habit. It’s still a little too early to determine the baby’s sex.” Mom nods as the sonographer focuses back on the screen. Her brows furrow, and after a short moment, she looks back at me. “How far along were you?”
“Umm … I’m at eight weeks now.”
“Hmm,” she says, glancing back at the monitor. “I’m sorry, but I do this every day, and you’re looking a little small for eight weeks. Do you mind if I take a few measurements?”
Colton straightens out beside me, his hand tightening in mine as the wheels begin to spin in all of our minds. “Are you sure?” I question. “The doctor in Breakers Flats assured me that I was seven weeks when I got checked last Friday.”
She shrugs her shoulders and gives me a gentle smile. “Well it couldn’t hurt to double-check now, can it?”
“Actually, it can,” Mom throws in. “It could mean the difference between the father of this baby being a rapist or not.”
Her eyes go wide, and she looks back down at me, only to see the desperation and the sliver of hope her words have given me, and right now, that hope is a dangerous thing. “Okay,” she murmurs, turning back to the monitor. “Then we better be thorough.”
She starts taking her measurements, and the tension that builds in the room with every passing second is nearly enough to have me blacking out again. Two minutes become three, and by the time four minutes is finally approaching, she turns back to me and lets out a breath. “Alright, Ocean. I really hope this is good news for you. You’re measuring at six weeks and five days.”
Colton looks lost. “What does that mean? Is it mine?”
I shake my head, trying to do the math. Mom watches me in silent desperation, begging for a good outcome. I'd give anything for this baby to be Colton’s. “I … I don’t know. We were together two weeks after Jude … I mean,” I look back up at the sonographer. “Does that mean he’s the father?”
She shakes her head, looking doubtful. “Look, I’d highly recommend doing a paternity test in a few weeks. It’s really very hard to tell unless you were tracking your cycle and can pinpoint when you ovulated last and can remember the dates in which you were sexually active.”
“But I … I have PCOS. Tracking my cycle is nearly impossible. I mean, I … ” I glance up at Mom, hoping for some kind of help. “I don’t even know how to tell when I’m ovulating.”
“Oh, honey,” Mom says. “Don’t stress. We’ll do a test and get this sorted out, alright. There’s no need to panic just yet. The doctor is going to set you up with an Obstetrician, and she or he will be able to guide you through this.”
I nod, not feeling the panic ease one bit, but if I don’t at least pretend for Mom, she’ll start to panic herself.
“Alright,” the woman says. “I’ll leave you guys to it, but if you have any other questions, please feel free to shout out.”
I give her a small smile as Mom thanks her for her time, all while Colton just stands and stares at the monitor with a frozen image of the baby growing inside my stomach. “It could be mine,” he whispers with hope, finally dropping back to the seat beside me.
I shake my head. “I don’t know. There’s too much going on. My head is too sore to even begin trying to work out the dates.”
“It’s okay, honey,” Mom says. “It’s only a few weeks before you can take the paternity test. You just need to focus on healing. You’ve been through quite a lot these past few weeks.” Her phone rings, and as she glances down, she cringes. “I’m sorry, sweet girl. It’s Roman. He’s been waiting for an update on your condition.”
“It’s fine,” I tell her. “Take it. It’s not like I can go anywhere.”
She gives me a sad smile, and within seconds, she answers the call and hurries out of the room, leaving me with a still stunned Colton. I glance over at him and tug on his hand, forcing him closer. “I guess it’s Milo’s turn to be my bitch.”
A grin twists across Colton’s face, and he shakes his head. “I can’t believe you’re fucking joking about this.”
“Why the hell wouldn't she?” A voice rumbles through the room, sending shivers down my spine and fear pulsing through my veins. “She’s a Wolf now. She’s strong.”
Russo welcomes himself deeper into my room, and I watch as Snake follows him in with Christian at his side.
Colton instantly flies to his feet and takes a step toward them, keeping himself as a barrier between them and me. “Get the fuck out.”
Russo tsks him, shaking his head in disapproval. “You’re lucky that I’m not sending you out of here, boy. She’s one of mine now.”
My jaw clenches at his words as I scan my gaze over my intruders. Russo watches me with a curious stare, almost as though I’ve surprised him, while Snake looks as though he’s come to finish the job. Christian on the other hand, stands beside his father looking as though he’s about ready to slice Snake’s throat. It’s clear that his only intention for being here right now was to check in on me and make sure that I'm still breathing. Keeping Snake in line in the process is just an added bonus.
Colton snaps back at Russo. “Over my dead fucking body.”
“Careful, now,” Russo warns. “You took quite a beating today. Ending you right here in front of your girl wouldn’t be hard, but she’s already gone through enough today, and I don’t want to give her another reason to be distrustful of me. So, kindly step aside so that I may speak with my girl.”
Colton laughs. “You’re fucking insane if you think I’m about to leave her with you.”
“Then, by all means, sit your ass down and shut up so that I can get out of here.”
Colton glances back at me, and I quickly nod, letting him know that it’s alright. Now that I've officially been jumped in, I'm considered family, and any hand laid on me, is a hand laid against Russo.
Colton steps back, keeping close to me but he refuses to sit down, a move that isn’t lost on Russo. His gaze sweeps over Colton and I watch as Snake takes it as a sign of disrespect and goes for his gun. “Sit your motherfucking ass down, rich boy.”
Christian clenches his jaw, almost as though he’s embarrassed by Snake’s recklessness all while Russo throws out his hand, barring it across Snake’s chest. “Back off before I make you,” Russo growls.
Snake looks back at Russo in astonishment, but Russo doesn’t spare him another thought as his eyes come back to mine. “I’ve come to check that you were healing well.”
“You mean check that you didn’t kill me?” I demand.
Russo nods, not denying it in the least. “The rapist’s baby?”
“Alive.”
“Damn. That’s a shame,” he says, having the nerve to actually look as though he cares.
I narrow my eyes, giving him the stare that works so perfectly on the bitches at school. “Why are you really here?” I demand, not in the mood to pussyfoot around. “Just get on with it so you can get out of here and let me rest.”
Surprisingly, Russo nods. “Very well then,” he says. “I’ve come to inform you that now you are officially a memb
er of my family, we can get to business.”
“I thought we were already in business?”
Russo laughs. “Do you honestly think I would go out of my way for a child who was not one of mine to protect? You’re a Wolf now, so I can give you what you’re after, but I did it my way, and we’ll be going ahead with an attack against the Black Widows.”
My eyes bug out of my head. “No. That's not what I wanted. There are good guys in there. Just take Nic.”
Russo shakes his head. “What did I tell you, pup? We play by my rules. Dominic Garcia took out my second, and he'll be paying for it with his life. I don't care who has to go down beside him. The more the merrier. With Dominic out of the way, the Wolves will thrive once again.”
Fuck, what have I done? I can’t be responsible for a mass murder. If Nic was under attack, my boys will jump in and lay their lives down for him. They’ll do anything to protect each other’s back, and that’s going to be on me. The death of my boys is going to be on my shoulders.
I meet Christian’s eyes and he gives me a blank stare before discreetly shaking his head, telling me to keep my mouth shut.
“When?” Colton demands.
Russo grins, his sick stare slicing across to Colton before coming back to me. “Isn’t the unknown always a part of the fun?” he questions. “Be this a warning to you both, Ocean is a Wolf now, and she’s expected to behave like one. I own her loyalty, and if that was to get betrayed, there will be consequences. Trust me when I say, you don’t want to see what happens to somebody who betrays me.”
With that, Russo turns on his heel and stalks out of the room, taking his son and his henchman with him while leaving me completely horrified with the mess I’ve created.
I glance at Colton and see the same horrors in his eyes, and as he looks at me, a silent message passes between us. We have to do something about this, but neither of us even know where to begin.
Chapter 14
The soft rainy drizzle splashes against the Veneno as Colton drives through the streets of Bellevue Springs, wanting nothing more than to get my ass home where I belong. It’s been a long few days in the hospital, but the pain meds have more than helped to pass the time. I think I’ve slept more over the last few days than I've ever slept in my life.
Ride or Die: A Dark High School Bully Romance (Rejects Paradise Book 4) Page 13
