Hernandez was right, though…for the moment. It wasn’t bad.
“One more chance,” Maddie said to Rip.
Rip hissed and said, “Fuck you.”
“Okay, if that’s how you want to be,” I said, and then I raised the crossbow back up and pulled the trigger. My intention was to only scare them, to show them I meant business. Unfortunately for them, my intentions rarely go as planned.
The stake shot out at the speed of light, the twang filling our ears.
But Rip dove out of the way, moving even faster than the stake.
One of the other vamps, a woman who might’ve been pretty before the vampire disease turned her into a walking corpse, took the stake instead. The shot drove her back nearly fifteen feet, until she hit the cold gray walls and slid down with a look of pure anguish on her face.
Well, I hit one—accidentally, sure, but that was one less vamp to worry about.
Zack’s crossbow twanged and a stake whistled way too close to my ear. Still, that was better than Zack firing a gun too close to my ear.
Rip dodged this shot, too, and he was on us in a blur of jerky movements.
A vampire may be unnatural, but this one was on a whole other level of unnatural-ness.
Maddie sidestepped before the vamp could dig its claws into her. There was more we had to deal with—not including Rip.
“Retreat!” I shouted. Close-quarters combat with a couple of pissed-off, un-unnatural vamps wasn’t going to be to our advantage.
As I was pushing Maddie out of the room, the other she-vamp attacked. Luckily, I heard her and spun before she ripped me to shreds.
I blocked her bite with my weapon. The crossbow’s casing chinked as she unhinged her jaw and tried swallowing it whole.
She was not pretty and I guessed that was true about her human life, too. With a squat nose and a pair of buck-teeth almost as long as her fangs, I wondered why she’d ever want to live forever.
Her jaw clamped so hard, I knew the crossbow wasn’t going to make it much longer, and I didn’t want to be around for its collapse. So I kicked out and caught the she-vamp in the stomach. Her dead body had felt as hard as the floor beneath my feet, but it was enough. She rocked back on her heels and I pulled free, away from her jaw and buck-teeth.
“Shut the door! Shut the door!” Maddie yelled.
Zack and her were in front of the group of cops. Lieutenant Walker wasn’t smiling anymore.
I thought that an odd thing to tell me. I did it anyway.
The door was solid metal and hard as hell to pull on a regular day, much less with the vamps on my tail, but I managed to and the door hit the jamb with a BANG!
Maddie and Zack had reloaded their crossbows. I, of course, was without mine, but I held a stake in my hand like Michael Myers would hold a butcher knife in the Halloween movies.
“That ain’t gonna hold them,” Hernandez said. I looked back at him and he was smiling that bright smile of his.
“It will slow them down,” I said. “Now get out of here! This is our fight.”
Walker shook his head. He looked at me out of the corner of his eye, never lowering his weapon. “No way, Crowley.”
Johnson, the rookie, didn’t seem as confident. I thought he was about to wet his pants and run for the elevator and out of the basement level. He didn’t though.
On the other side of the door, all went quiet.
I didn’t take this as a good sign. When I realized everyone was looking at me for an answer, I didn’t know what to say except for: “Steady! Hold your fire. They’ll come busting through any minute now.” Because I’d heard that in more than a few movies.
Then, the doorknob rattled and turned. The hinges creaked.
The door opened.
“You gotta be shittin’ me,” Walker said.
Rip stepped forward. His eyes hadn’t changed back from the silvery coins and his mouth dripped blood. Whose? I didn’t want to find out.
In a thick voice, he said, “You know…it wasn’t locked.”
Him and the other vamp charged us again.
To accurately describe what exactly happened would be no easy task. A lot of gunshots filled the air. Stakes flew. Vampire wings flapped with the sound of someone beating a rug. Screeches from hell reached our eardrums, even through the ringing caused from the thunderous pistols. And blood spilled.
When the smoke cleared, I was still standing. The rookie, God rest his soul, had had his head torn clean off. His torso was slumped against the other end of the hall by a room with a placard that read RECORDS. Blood spurted from the neck and stained his navy-blue uniform black. Walker was knocked unconscious and Hernandez had either fled or been taken. Since I’d killed one of the she-vamps and one of them was still standing next to Rip, I’d gathered that Hernandez had gone the route of the former. He had fled.
“You are unwise to stand in our way,” Rip said.
It was just Maddie, Zack, and I now. Walker tried getting up, but I waved him down. He was too hurt to be of any use in this fight. Same went for the rookie, you know, on account of being decapitated and all…sadly.
“It’s my job to stand in your way,” I replied ever-so-cleverly. I wasn’t trying to be an ass, but it had sure seemed like that.
I held my last stake in hand. Zack had his crossbow; Maddie had lost hers, or more accurately, I think it was currently crushed near the few steps leading up to the elevator. She didn’t even have a stake, yet she stood with Zack and I and I loved her for that as I’d loved Zack for still holding a crossbow even though he couldn’t shoot well.
“This is bigger than you, human,” Rip said. The she-vamp tittered. She was kind of sexy, I’ll admit that (well, except for the fact that her lips were not covered in lipstick but blood instead). A major turnoff.
I snapped out of my trance. “Rip, you know my name. Just say it. You don’t have to be this coy, clichéd villain. We go way back! Remember that time I busted you breaking into that tanning salon. ‘Artificial sunlight?’ you said. ‘Don’t we have enough of the real thing!’”
“I know not of this Rip you speak of.”
“Are you trying to show off for the she-vamp?” Zack asked. “Because, if that’s the case, you have a lot of showing off to do to make up for that ugly mug of yours.”
No one laughed. The tensions were too high.
I decided to go on. “What do you want dead bodies for, man? The blood-bags aren’t good enough for you anymore?”
“The bodies are not for us,” Rip hissed.
“Who are they for then?” Maddie asked.
“That’s not for me to say.” Rip’s cold lips spread into a smile. His fangs seemed longer, but it could’ve just been the silvery eyes playing a trick on me.
I shrugged and shook my head. Slowly, I slapped the stake against the palm of my opposite hand, like a bully would do with his fist. Believe me, I’d seen enough bullies doing that in my four years in high school.
I wasn’t scared so much as I was numb. Either way, I wasn’t showing this, couldn’t afford to.
“If that’s the way you want it to be,” I said, “so be it.”
Now, I’m not a complete idiot. I wasn’t going to charge a vampire head on—let alone, two vampires. What I did was feign a lunge, drop to my knees, and slip the stake into Zack’s crossbow. My fingers had never moved so fast in their twenty years of existence.
Zack wasn’t surprised, either. We had planned this by way of best friend telepathic communication.
The only problem of this scenario was that Zack wasn’t the best shot. I thought Rip was too close for him to actually miss, but I wouldn’t have bet money on it.
Just my life.
And Rip was fast. Way too fast.
The crossbow let loose.
Rip stopped about five feet short of tearing our faces off, his mouth opened in a capital O, as an expression of anguish twisted his silvery eyes, made them shine with tears.
Could vampires cry? I wondered. That wa
s something they didn’t teach in the Academy. Probably because it wasn’t important, but right then it seemed the most important thing in the world.
I scanned over the vamp’s chest and shoulders, looking for that stake I’d so deftly loaded into Zack’s crossbow.
“Oh, my God…” Maddie said on my left.
Did Zack miss? If he did, why had Rip stopped? Questions I couldn’t answer until…until I looked down.
15
Vampire Balls
“Dude!” I shouted, not believing what I was seeing.
“Holy cow,” Maddie wheezed.
Even the she-vamp had stopped in her tracks.
“You shot him in the..in the—” I said.
“Balls,” Maddie finished.
“I wasn’t aiming for—I didn’t mean to…I swear!” Zack said. He then threw the crossbow on the floor. It landed with a clatter and breakdanced its way against the wall.
“No, dude. Good job, I guess?” I said, clapping a hand on Zack’s back. Still, he had a look of utter dread on his face.
Rip started hollering, finally realizing where this stake had landed. His voice climbed up to a falsetto, just like the cartoons and movies made it out to be whenever someone got hit in their manhood.
Now this vamp who’d helped tear the rookie’s head off was on his way to being double-dead. His body writhed and bucked. He collapsed on his knees. I decided now was as good a time as any to finish him off.
I reached down and pulled that stake free from his man-parts and, with a grunt, drove it into his chest cavity, where a dead heart no longer beat.
He grabbed me with his clawed hands. For a moment, I was dangerously close to those long fangs. I threw all my weight against him, the stake drove deeper and his mouth opened, not in an attempt to take a chunk out of my neck, but instead in a scream, one that waned into a whisper.
Rip was gone.
But we weren’t out of the woods yet.
There was the other vamp. She took one look at Rip with that stake driven into his sternum and decided she was overmatched.
She ran up the few steps that led to the elevator, took another look over her shoulder at us, then snarled as her wings burst forth through her flesh with a sickening rip.
Maddie, Zack, and I exchanged a glance, a head nod. We couldn’t let her get away. So we took off after her.
As we advanced, I thought we had her cornered. What was she going to do, press the up button and wait for the elevator’s arrival then expect us not to get on with her? Not to mention the stairs were around the corner and we were close enough to smell the sickening sweet stench of her death on the air.
We had this. We were going to—
The vamp rose up. A hole burst through the ceiling, and a rain of shredded pipes, wood, and God knew what else fell down on us.
That was…unfortunate.
She had decided neither the elevator or the stairs would suit her. Her wings beat the dusty air as she escaped through the hole.
On the level above, I heard a woman scream and a cart overturn. It must’ve been piled high with dishes or clay pots because that’s what it sounded like when its contents hit.
“The stairs!” Maddie was shouting.
Yes, the stairs. We just needed to get close enough to slow the vamp down, all before she hurt someone else.
If Maddie got a clear shot on the monster, we would be good. Me and Zack? Well, the odds were not as great.
Besides, I didn’t know where my gun went and Zack didn’t have one.
Just as I’d turned and readied myself to spring forward, someone called my name.
It was Lieutenant Walker. “Here!” he said, and he threw something in my direction. The air in the basement was dusty and filled with the smell of blood.
I didn’t catch whatever he threw.
When it hit the floor with a metallic thunk and a huge BOOM reached my ears, I realized it was his gun.
“Jesus, man!” Zack said. “You can’t go around throwing guns! You’re a cop. Don’t they, like, teach you not to do that on day one of the police academy? You could’ve shot my dick off!”
“Shut up and get that vamp, Zack!” Walker yelled back.
He was right.
I dragged Zack away with the gun in my right hand.
No time to waste.
We left the ruined hospital basement behind.
Way too many stairs later I was on the street level, wheezing. Even though I rode my bike around wherever I went—weather permitting, of course—I wasn’t in the best of shape. This day and age, with a fast food joint on every corner, it was hard to stay in shape.
Zack somehow got ahead of me and caught up with Maddie.
A nurse was on the floor amongst the chaos. Her lip was bleeding and her eyes were fluttering. A group of men and women in scrubs surrounded her.
The cart of dishes had, in fact, been a cart of dishes. It looked like a few patients would not be getting their midnight snacks tonight.
I’d have to order a bunch of pizzas from Rig-R-Tony’s and send it to the hospital after this was all said and done to make up for it.
Out through the automatic glass doors, which I saw was shattered completely, piles of shards all around, Maddie and Zack were running.
I sucked in another dusty breath and plunged forward.
Determination is a funny thing. I hardly felt the burning in my lungs or the stitch in my side.
Hardly.
The she-vamp was ahead of Maddie and Zack, and I was gaining on them. Where we were, the opposite side of where we and the cops had come in at, there was no traffic or people. The moon wasn’t full tonight, but it was bright.
I saw the she-vamp spread her wings and take flight. They nearly blotted out the moon.
“Fuck!” Zack yelled.
I aimed with the pistol.
Zack said something else, too, but I didn’t hear it over the roaring of the gunshot. With one eye closed, I pulled the trigger three times.
Three holes punched the she-vamp’s wings. A cry of unspeakable horror erupted from that fanged-mouth. Just for good measure, I pulled the trigger again and a fourth hole punched the leathery flesh, too. Moonlight shined through those ripped circles.
It was a tough shot. And I’ll admit I was aiming for the creature’s head. Still, hitting the wings might’ve been better.
The creature screamed. Then it fell.
16
InTERRORgation
I didn’t get the chance for this when taking on the werewolf and penis-tentacle, but I had to do it now.
The gun resting on my trigger finger, I spun it, caught the handle, then blew into the barrel.
Even I can have a little fun sometimes.
Unfortunately, on the inhale, I’d gotten some of that gun smoke and it was as nasty as the air at a werewolf orgy. And, of course, Maddie and Zack had seen me drop the gun and jump when I thought it was about to go off.
It didn’t.
That was the last time I’d try to be cool.
Once my coughing fit was over, we rushed toward the she-vamp.
She hit the top floor of the parking deck adjacent to City Hospital’s southern entrance. We could hear her shrieking from the sidewalk.
Two agents from our division of BEAST—thank God—showed up and had followed the gunshots and found us about to enter the deck. Lola had called them in like she said she was, only they’d been eating at a Steak & Shake, and one of those agents was Bubba McLachlan and Bubba had a gut the size of a nine-months-pregnant woman and couldn’t be torn away from a cheeseburger even if the place had been burning down around him. He’d just eat the burger really well-done and order another milkshake from the crispy skeleton that was his waitress. I admired that determination.
So they arrived a little later than they should’ve, but better late than never, I guess.
We now had back up and that was all that mattered.
Armed with stakes brought to us by said backup and the few remaining
rounds in Lieutenant Walker’s gun, we took the steps. My lungs were still burning, but the adrenaline flowed. I felt no pain.
Zack kept saying, “Nice shots! Holy shit, you looked like a gunslinger out there! Like Maddie!”
But I hardly heard him over the she-vamps squawks.
When we reached the top and saw what had become of her, Bubba leaned over the concrete and threw up his Steak & Shake. I heard it splatter on the street below.
The other agent, Sylvia Lyles, a rail-thin former college professor, said, “Oh God have mercy.”
Our she-vamp had landed on an unfortunate Buick parked in a Reserved-for-Employees spot. The top of the car was smashed, like a giant’s boot had stomped on it. It was a mess of metal and blown out glass. The alarm tried wailing, but it was too far gone to make any serious noise.
I hoped whoever owned this car had vampire insurance.
But that wasn’t the worst of it.
The she-vamp’s leg had been bent sideways, nearly reaching her ear. I saw a knob of yellowish bone sticking from her pale flesh. It reminded me of the way my action figures would look after a rough playing session. Her right arm hung from strings of muscle and tendon, her claw hovering above the lot’s glass-covered ground. It dangled there like a pendulum. Each wing was crumpled beneath her. I thought of thrown-away napkins dancing down the sidewalk caught in a gust of strong wind. I thought of roadkill on the edge of a desert road. Mutilated. Dead.
There was little blood, of course. I guess that was the silver lining in all of this. But seeing mostly human arms and legs in those positions would make the toughest stomach roil.
As it did mine.
I didn’t throw up, though. A minor victory.
We approached the she-vamp with our stakes raised. Like a wounded animal, she tried getting away as we got closer. I was in the lead. Zack and Maddie, as I could always expect, were right there with me. The other BEAST agents were hanging back, their weapons up in the air, a daub of vomit in the corner of Bubba’s mouth.
Then the she-vamp raised her lips away from those deadly fangs and I saw one of them had broken off in her descent. Just a jagged tooth the size of a normal human’s hung there like stalactites from the mouth of a cave.
Fright Squad Page 10
