The game quickly picked up in pace, with Daniel matching my every word with something at least as valuable. I had to admit, I was impressed. I could tell he wasn’t dumb or anything like that, he definitely didn’t fit the stereotype of the average athlete that doesn’t know how to spell his own name, but I hadn’t expected him to be quite this good at Scrabble.
As for my body’s reaction to Daniel, nothing had changed since we decided to just be friends. Every time he smiled at me, every time those big deep eyes glistened in my direction, I felt my legs going weak, my heart pounding faster and like my insides were melting away in a pool of desire. Nothing in the room except for Daniel mattered. I couldn’t have cared less who was sitting at any of the other seats, whether there was music playing over the speakers, absolutely couldn’t have cared less. The only thing that mattered to me when I was with Daniel was Daniel. Something inside of me wanted to make him happy. I wanted to make him like me, I wanted to make him want to spend more time with me.
At one point as I reached to adjust a tile while he played one our hands brushed, and we both stopped. I felt that spark of electricity between us, I felt the absolute passion that coursed in between our bodies, and I knew Daniel felt it too. We looked at each other, then pulled away, almost as though the two of us were embarrassed about it. We continued playing like nothing had happened, but I could feel it. That spark never went away.
“God, it’s getting late,” I eventually noted after yawning three times in a row. I glanced at the clock, and for the first time in a long, long time I wished the hands on the round plate would show it was earlier than I thought it was. I was so used to wanting the time to pass, wanting it to stand still was a whole new feeling.
“Does that mean you’re giving up?” Daniel asked as he played ‘terrestrial’, using all seven of his tiles.
“Damn it!” I exclaimed as I saw that on top of making an eleven letter word he had landed on a double word score tile. “No, I’m not giving up! Plus I’m pretty sure I’m winning, anyway” I said, glancing at the scores on the sheet.
“Probably, but admit it, I’m better at this than you thought I would be.”
I laughed. “Yeah, you are. It’s not fair that someone can both look like you and be good at scrabble.”
“You’re one to talk. Brains and beauty, the perfect combo.”
I blushed, then my eyes rose to the security camera in the corner. I was only too aware of its presence, and I could feel Daniel’s body sinking back into the chair.
“Stupid rules, right?”
“Yeah.”
“I think you’re right. It’s getting late, we should probably count up the scores and go to bed.”
After counting and discovering that I had indeed won, but only by a margin of 50 points, we packed up the game and headed back to the corridor that led to the residence areas. Daniel held the door open for me and I passed through. We walked down the hallway in silence.
When we reached the door for the women’s residences, we stopped.
“Thanks for tonight,” Daniel told me. “I mean, I know it’s not exactly what either of us want, but it’s something, isn’t it?”
I felt a pang inside of me, like my heart had been ripped out. I wanted nothing more than to grab him, run with Daniel to my room, have him rip off my clothes and take me on my bed. But I knew none of that was possible. For one thing, security guards patrolled the residences to make sure members of the opposite sex didn’t enter.
“Yeah, it’s something,” I replied, trying to smile.
“Well... good night,” Daniel said.
“Good night,” I replied, turning and going into the hallway. I didn’t look back.
As soon as I was in my room I began to cry. I lay down on top of the covers of my bed and cried my heart out. I wanted Daniel so badly, and yet I knew I could never have him. I enjoyed spending time with him as a friend, but it was still so different. I didn’t want to be just friends. I wanted more than that. Yet I knew I couldn’t have it.
I hated feeling like this. I hated the conflicts between the life I had chosen for myself and the life I was living. I hated being happy, I hated the fact that I no longer felt guilt crushing me during every second of every day. And yet, I was happy. I liked Daniel. He was kind and he understood me.
I reminded myself that no matter what, it would end. Daniel would eventually leave, just as I knew Fiona was getting ready to leave. There was no way Daniel would stay here forever, the way I had planned on doing. He would go back to his life, maybe work as a sports reporter for a news station, or start coaching, or something. Either way, I wasn’t going to be in his life long term.
And the fact that I thought that far ahead about us absolutely terrified me.
To Be Continued
About the Author
Hi! I’m Victoria Villeneuve. I’m a small town girl at heart, with dreams of living in a cabin in the country with my two dogs and my amazing boyfriend Mike. When I’m not writing you can usually find me enjoying a nice mocha in my local coffee shop, reading some of my favourite books by the lake or playing soccer with my friends.
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Table of Contents
On Thin Ice 1
Midpoint
On Thin Ice 1 Page 5
