“Ask her to help you with yours.” She gave him a cheeky grin. “Tell her you want to rank me in flechettes at the gun range.”
“Sneaky.” She really was a born teacher. “What’s next for you?”
“Improve the Materials Science program. Vestering will need all the help he can get to save his department and cover his ass, so he’ll have to quit bothering me for a year or two. Buy a new shockstick, in case he doesn’t. Find out when I can move back into my apartment.”
“That reminds me, I was supposed to tell you that Pico and Valenia’s flat is prepaid for another six months, nonrefundable. They want you to have it until yours is repaired. It’s not as nice a view, and the tenants on the floor above practice tap dance or something at all hours, but it’d be cheaper than a hotel room.”
“It’s a handsome offer. I’ll consider it.” She took him by the hand and led him to the door, then turned to face him. “I’m glad we met again, and if I have to be in a war again, I hope you’re there with me.”
He shoved the swell of longing into a corner of his mind. “Likewise.” He gave her a teasing smile. “If you’re ever in the mood for action, Etonver is renowned for street fights and riots. I’m sure we could scare one up if you’re in town.”
“Funny man.” She smiled and slid her hands into her pockets. It made him smile, because only Andra would insist even form-fitting pants had pockets.
He needed to get out of her presence before he did something really stupid. He reached for the door.
“Before you go, what was that bit between you and Luka, about knowing who your friends are, and having more than one way off the planet?”
“Advice from… a friend, I guess I’d call her. She’s not the kind you have a beer with. She’s the president of La Plata. Luka and Mairwen used to work there, too, before they went off on their own. She’s a forecaster, so you have to take what she says with a grain of salt, but she called us all together one night for GDAT New Year’s and told us there was trouble on the horizon, and gave us advice.”
She looked thoughtful. “Trouble where—Rekoria?”
“That’s what I thought at the time, but I’ve come to believe she meant the whole Concordance.”
“What was her advice?”
“She told us to know who our friends are and keep them close, and to have more than one way out of the city and off the planet, and have safe places to land. Luka thinks her advice was more metaphorical, but I’m just a simple gunnin, so I just take it to mean what it says.” He shrugged. “Her third piece of advice was not to trust the CPS, but we already knew that. Minders need schools and places where we can be safe, but with the CPS, the price is too high.”
“What time does your shuttle leave?”
“One, but I have to drop off the Pazorbaal. I’ll miss it.” He took a deep breath and held it. “I’ll miss you, too.”
She sighed, then took a step closer. “I thought I could, but I can’t let you go like this.”
“Like what?”
“Without kissing you, for a start.” She took a tiny step closer.
He blinked in surprise. “Why?” His body said to stop talking.
“If you have to ask, Commander Crush, then it’s been way too long since you’ve done it.” She slowly closed the distance between them, as if giving him time to get used to the idea. “Because it’s killing me not to.”
He didn’t know why he was hesitating, because kissing her, and a lot more, was the deepest secret fantasy that he’d never admitted, but he disciplined himself to think. “I can’t stay friends.” Hell, that sounded like primer school. He tried again. “If I touch you, if you touch me, we’ll never be ‘just friends’ again.”
That stopped her. “Is that all you want? Friendship?” Her dark brown eyes held a vulnerability he’d rarely seen from her. He had a feeling he’d hurt her, somehow. He wanted to fix it.
He shoved his hands into his pockets and made fists. “Sex fucks up friendships. As much as I want you, have always wanted you, even when I shouldn’t have, I value what we have between us more. We’re… What’s the Spanish word you used?”
“Simpatizamos,” she said. “We sympathize with each other.”
“Yes. That’s what lasts. Not impulses, not hormones.” He rocked back on his heels once and almost hit the door. “I have a lot of friends because I get along with people. But damn few of them are good friends, and I don’t want to lose even one of them. You most of all.”
She reached out to pull his hands from his pockets and coaxed his fists open. Her fingers felt warm and capable. Her deep brown eyes were shining. “Tell me that part again about how you always wanted me, and I’ll tell you how that first year in the unit, you were the star of my fantasies. I all but posed naked on your bed to get you to see me as something more than your teammate.”
“I did see you,” he said softly. “I saw you as the woman who ranked me by four grades at the time, and could and would kick my ass if I disrespected you. Asking if you wanted a hot-connect seemed damned disrespectful to me.”
“You have a point.” She quirked a smile at him and squeezed his fingers. “I still had a lot to prove back then.”
“Is this,” he pointed to her chest and his, “just a one-time wish fulfillment, then?” His body wanted him to stop talking and start kissing, but he couldn’t do that without knowing where it was going. It would be too easy to fall hard and fast for Andra, and he’d barely regrown his heart from the last woman he’d given it to.
“I certainly hope it’s more than once,” she said with a suggestive smile that caused a wave of desire to course through him. “We have all night.”
He fought not to drown in the depths of her warm brown eyes. “And how will we make this work when we’re seven transit days apart? Trust me when I tell you that long distances are hell on relationships.” Even as he said the word, he realized he wanted that with her. A relationship. Love. It made the breath freeze in his lungs.
She was silent for a long moment. “I’m scared, too.”
He started to deny it, but realized she was right. He was terrified. She was strong and smart, and hot enough to ignite a star, and he was already caught in her gravity well. He didn’t know what was right for them anymore. He felt dizzy.
“But you know what scares me more?” She crept closer to him, to where he could feel the heat of her body searing his. “Letting you go, and always wondering what we could have had.” She caressed his jaw, stroking his beard, then put her warm hand on his shoulder. “Life is so short, querido. It can be snuffed out between one heartbeat and the next.”
Tears welled in her eyes, and it was more than he could stand. He lowered his head and kissed her, then wrapped her in his arms. He touched her lips with his tongue, and she opened for him. The taste of her was as instantly addictive as he’d always suspected it would be.
She moaned in his mouth and arched into him, igniting sparks across his skin. He slid his hands down the sides of her generous breasts, down to her glorious, muscular ass, and pulled her hard against his arousal. He broke the kiss to gasp for a breath of desperately needed air.
“Bed,” he growled into her sweet-smelling hair. That sounded too far away. “Couch.” He nuzzled her ear, touched a tongue to the lobe, and was rewarded with her shiver of delight. “Nearest flat surface.”
“Bed,” she said firmly. “Soft, comfortable, big bed.”
Chapter 27
* Planet: Nila Marbela * GDAT 3241.151 *
Only because the wall display clock said so did Andra know it was dawn. She’d been awake for a while, contemplating the years and months and days behind her, and considering her options for the future. Half wrapped around her, warm and comforting, Jerzi stirred in his sleep. They hadn’t been able to get enough of each other in the night as they’d each learned what made the other tremble and shudder with pleasure. She wished they had more time, but he had to get over to Pico’s for his belongings and to say goodbye to his daughter,
and she had a to-do list that kept getting longer.
Andra couldn’t remember if he liked coffee or kaffa in the mornings, but she did, and the hotel room had a built-in kaffa dispenser. She untangled her legs from his and rolled to the edge of the bed. Muscles she hadn’t used in a while were deliciously sore.
After a visit to the fresher, she drew a mug full of the fragrant, hot kaffa and took it back to the bedroom. She stood a moment in the doorway and stared at the man in her bed. Jerzi in clothes was good-looking, but without them, he was a work of art. His light gold skin was a clean canvas, except for the small, deep-inked peregrine falcon on the curve of his hipbone. No need to ask what that represented. All the other colorful body art he’d acquired during his time in service was gone, as were the wrist studs that had symbolized his marriage to Dhorya, even though they hadn’t actually married until much later.
“A gorgeous naked woman with kaffa,” Jerzi mumbled sleepily. “I must be dreaming.”
“Want some?” She angled her hip provocatively and thrust her breasts forward a little.
He raised his head and grinned. “You have no idea.”
She let her gaze travel down his chest to his sculpted stomach and the juncture of his thighs. “Oh, I think I do.” She smiled, then sighed. “But the kaffa will have to do. I’ll get you a cup. Straight, or flavored?”
“Straight. The flavors all taste like cheap air fresheners.”
She heard him stumble into the fresher while she found and filled another cup. She found the controls for the bed and made it provide a backrest. She unashamedly enjoyed the view when he came back and got into bed next to her.
“I’ve been thinking,” she began.
“Pleasant thoughts, I hope.” She didn’t miss the undercurrent of worry in his light words.
“Let’s clear that up first.” She set her mug down behind her on the headrest, then kissed him deeply and thoroughly. “I don’t regret a single second of last night, and I want more as soon as possible, but you have schedules to keep, and so do I.”
“Okay, so what were you thinking?”
She should have waited until the kaffa had time to work its magic, but she’d just have to push on. “I wish we had time for a slow tango, learning to trust each other, but that damn clock keeps marching forward.” She retrieved her mug and held it in front of her with both hands. “Are you worried that I might not be able to love you because Da’vin was a woman, and you’re a man?”
He was silent a long moment, then shook his head. “No, you’re too honest—you’d have told me that up front. I’m more worried that you’re smart and beautiful and sexy and educated, and I’m just an A-level gunnin who tanks at relationships.”
“Who also has a heart the size of the Andromeda galaxy.” She dropped her hand to rest on his relaxed thigh. “I’m no prize, querido. I’m moody and independent, and I need time alone. I won’t put up with being treated like a princess. I have opinions.”
His eyes widened. “I’m shocked. You? Opinions?”
“Burro,” she said. “But I’ll always try to listen to yours.”
“I’m … thank you.”
“So, what really got me thinking was the advice from your forecaster friend, about knowing your friends and having exit strategies. I’ve been plotting how to rebuild the Materials Science program for Optimal Polytechnic, and for Vestering, but the O-P regents won’t care if it’s good, just that it’s in the catalog, and I’ll have to fight Vestering and his like-minded minions. They’re not my friends.”
Jerzi snorted. “They’re flaming idiots.”
“Which brings me to my point. If I’m going to put my energy and heart into building a Materials Science program, I’d rather do it someplace where I do have friends. For a start, one sexy, good friend, and his amazing daughter, and two new friends who I’d like to know better. Someplace like, say, Etonver, where there are, so I’ve been given to understand, plenty of professionals interested in studying better ways to achieve destructive objectives.”
“You’re thinking of starting your own school for teaching explosives?”
“Not right away. I think I’ll try for a teaching job first, so I can get to know the area. But I have this idea. Explosives would be the sizzle, the distraction. What I really want is to teach more people like Pico, or the Practical Applications students, how to think for themselves, how to use science and ingenuity to solve problems.” She laughed, because it sounded so idealistic. “And I’d have an excuse to operate my own lab, because what’s life without a little boom-down?”
He put his empty kaffa cup on the bedside table, then sat up and turned to face her. “I would be the happiest man on the planet if you could come to Etonver, and I’d help you in whatever way I can. But… I still tank at relationships, and I don’t want you to regret moving to Etonver because of me.”
“You tanked at one relationship. You haven’t let yourself have another since. I’ve had a few since Da’vin died, but they failed because my heart wasn’t engaged, and because I was terrified of loss. I still am, but you make me want to take that chance.”
He pulled the mug from her hands and set it aside, then took her in his arms for a long, sense-drenching kiss. “Thank you for not shooting me last night when I brought dinner.”
“I would have, if Pico hadn’t warned me. She was afraid I’d call the police.” She kissed his nose and grinned. “You know me better than she does.”
She couldn’t resist running light fingers over his chest until she found his flat nipples, which were surprisingly sensitive.
“What’s your timetable for this new venture of yours?” His questing hand found the tip of the raised phoenix design that started on the bottom half of her right breast. “What can I do to help?”
“A few months… oh, yes, like that, with your tongue,” she gasped, arching into him. “I’ll ping you…”
The capacity for words dissolved in her brain as she gave herself over to the man who tasted of kaffa and love.
Epilogue
* Planet: Nila Marbela * GDAT 3241.152 *
Renner stood statue-still in the corner of the luxury room that Dixon Davidro had made into his office while in Tremplin, glowering at the bank of nine windows that overlooked the beach. The hotel had safer, less exposed rooms, but the tropical air on Nila Marbela had put Dixon in a pleasure-seeking mood, and he’d insisted on a view of paradise. Furthermore, he refused to darken them at night and left the lights blazing, meaning anyone could see whatever Dixon was doing.
Which in this case, was receiving expert oral sex from one of the exciters on the hotel room service menu. Dixon liked being watched. And heard. Usually Renner got stuck being the audience, but tonight, anyone flying by in a flitter or airsled would see the show.
Renner knew without looking at a clock display that the collar on his neck would be ratcheting in the next minute. After eight years with the bloody thing, he could almost feel it. He twitched a lip in sour humor at his own joke. Dixon was distracted by his new project, who was turning out to be more of a challenge than Dixon anticipated, and the man loved new challenges. However, his distraction meant he’d forgotten to loosen the collar more often lately, meaning Renner’s neck was often bloody. He used to wear high-necked shirts to absorb it, but he’d noticed that it bothered Dixon’s other staff more if they could see the red rivulets running down. Besides, sleeveless tank shirts made his scarred muscular arms and chest more intimidating. Vicious guard dogs should look the part.
While Dixon was shouting about his impending second orgasm, Renner took the chance to send his talent out to nudge the switch that controlled the morphglass. Fortunately, it was a slider instead of a step control, so he could darken the windows bit by bit. As Dixon pointed out with almost the same regularity as the collar ratcheted, if Dixon died, Renner would soon follow, since only a live, cooperative Dixon could loosen the collar. To reinforce the lesson, Dixon occasionally let the collar tighten on purpose, once to the point th
at Renner was in a hypoxic delirium. Regardless of whatever lesson Dixon thought he’d been imparting, Renner’s takeaway had been to come up with several contingencies for killing himself before he’d let himself die like that.
Renner’s collar ratcheted tighter. Blood dripped.
Dixon yelled his release, and the exciter sat back on her heels with a look of professional satisfaction. Dixon praised her skill and sent her on her way, then used the fresher to clean up. When Renner was seventeen, and newly conscripted into Dixon’s menagerie, the near-daily sex displays had aroused him, and made him angry that his body reacted the way Dixon wanted. After nineteen years, it was no more titillating than seeing the man blow his nose.
Dixon was at his most mellow at times like these, so now was the time to strike.
“You have a problem,” Renner said. The scar tissue buildup on his throat made his voice gravelly, and painful for long speeches. Pain was Renner’s old and most reliable friend. Well, second most, but his most reliable friend was gone.
“What problem is that, Rexium?” It amused Dixon to call Renner by common names for pet dogs. Renner didn’t care, since he’d had quite a few names in his youth before being captured and collared by Dixon. Renner pretended that it annoyed him, because Dixon liked predictable responses.
“Radomir.”
Dixon sighed. “What’s he done now?”
“Georgie says the families of his personal kills on Sanangerel, Funlun Aiye, and Terakhir are all talking to a prominent journalist about an interstellar serial killer. Georgie forecasts that more will be talking soon, once the details trend.”
Dixon stood and stretched, angling his naked torso toward the windows for maximum exposure. The man spent a small fortune in body shops and parlors to look young and fit. “What do they think they know?”
“That he’s protected by the CPS.” Dixon jerked in surprise and wrenched his back. Renner laughed inside, but kept it off his face.
Dixon sat and frowned. “You’re feeling smug.” He gave Renner a narrow-eyed look. “There’s more, isn’t there?”
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