by Jo Meadows
‘Wait a minute,’ said David. ‘None of this is my fault.’
‘It’s your hand and it’s your cholesterol isn’t it?’
‘Yes, but I can’t explain all this, can I? Hey, don’t you think it would be a good idea if you got your cholesterol checked too?’
‘Don’t be silly, no I wouldn’t, mine will be fine. Besides, it’s always been normal and I’m not due to have it checked for another three months.’
‘I thought you didn’t think the annual checks were worth attending,’ said David, regretting opening his mouth the moment he did.
‘There he goes, he misses one check-up; there’s a problem and it’s all my fault,’ she snapped.
‘That’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying that we need to keep an eye on our health as we start to get that bit older, that’s all.’
‘Well, you look after yours and I’ll look after mine David. If you weren’t so overweight you wouldn’t have half the problems you do. I’ve always taken care of myself and I’ve managed to stay nice and slim, why can’t you?’
Later, as he finished making sandwiches for tea, David popped one of his new antibiotic tablets into his mouth and took a drink of water. ‘What was that?’ asked Georgina.
‘The first of my new antibiotics, why?’
‘Oh yes of course, it slipped my mind. You can give those to me along with the new tablets for your “ever so high” cholesterol. I’ll make sure you take everything at just the right time so you don’t forget to. We don’t want our David’s health deteriorating even further now do we?’ she laughed, cynically.
‘Actually, I’ll hang onto them if you don’t mind. The doctor said I should be looking after my own medication and that I shouldn’t rely on you to do it for me.’
‘What on earth is he trying to imply?’ said Georgina. ‘I’ve looked after all of our medication for years. You know how forgetful you can be. I’ll give you two days and you’ll have forgotten to take something, you wait and see.’
‘I’m sure he doesn’t mean anything by it. What if you took ill or something? I’d have to take care of my own tablets then wouldn’t I?’
‘Me, ill! When am I ever ill? You’re the one that’s always having silly accidents and getting ill. Suit yourself, keep your stupid tablets but don’t come running to me when you don’t know where you are with them.’
Strange, David thought as she left the room, isn’t it you that’s complained a few times lately about not feeling too good and not sleeping well? When was the last time? Oh, that would be this morning! For just a moment, he was tempted to remind her of this but then thought, I may be stupid but I’m not that stupid.
Chapter 6
‘Hello,’ said Lynnette as she picked up the phone.
‘Hi, is that Lynnette?’
‘Yes it is. May I ask who’s speaking?’
‘Hi Lynnette, it’s Liz Johnson. How are you?’
‘Oh, hi Liz, sorry, I didn’t recognize your voice; I haven’t spoken to you for a while. I’m fine thanks, is everything okay with you?’
‘Yes, I’m fine thanks. Lynnette, I’m calling in a professional capacity from school.’ Liz was a good friend from years back and she was now a teacher at Emily’s school. They’d grown up in the same area and still met occasionally for coffee and a chat. They’d even got together with their husbands and gone out for a drink sometimes before they’d both had kids.
‘Oh, that sounds ominous. No problem I hope.’
‘No, nothing to get worried about. I just wanted to ask if you’d noticed any changes in Emily lately, or if something had happened recently that may have upset her.’
‘Now you’re starting to worry me Liz, what do you mean? As far as I’m aware everything’s fine. We went to visit my Mum over the holidays but that’s all. Is there something we should know about? Has she done something?’ she asked becoming a little anxious.
‘As I said, it’s nothing to get worried about, it’s just that she’s always such a nice little girl and gets on with everyone, especially her best friend Sammy.’
‘Yes, I know Sammy. Has something happened?’
‘Well, Sammy was crying earlier today and when I asked her what was wrong she said that Emily had been mean to her. When I asked what she meant by Emily being mean, she said that Emily had told her that the reason she was fat was because she had been eating too many chips and sweets.’
‘Emily said that?’
‘Yes, I’m afraid so. As I said there isn’t really any problem, it’s just that Emily saying something like that is totally out of character. If anything, she sticks up for Sammy if any of the other girls make fun of her. Actually, you know, I don’t think she was making fun of Sammy or trying to be nasty, I think she was trying to advise her about her weight because she also said that she wasn’t going to eat chips anymore herself and that she wasn’t going to eat as many sweets either.’
‘Oh dear, is Sammy alright?’
‘Yes, she’s fine. I told her that Emily wasn’t trying to be mean and that she was still her best friend. Once the tears had stopped I got them together and made sure they were okay. Emily was a little upset because she hadn’t intended to upset Sammy. She said she was sorry and then they had a little hug, so all’s well that ends well, as they say.’
‘That’s good. Do you think I ought to have a word with Emily?’
‘It might be an idea just to make sure she understands why Sammy got upset, although I’m sure she does. It would be good to talk to her anyway to make sure she’s alright herself, and perhaps talk about her diet. As I said, she did tell Sammy that she wasn’t going to be eating chips anymore and cut down on the sweets she ate. Emily doesn’t have any problem with her weight as you know, and I’m sure you ensure she has a healthy diet, I know you do. What we don’t want is her developing some food disorder for no reason.’
‘Okay thanks Liz. I’ll talk to her when we get home later. I don’t know where all this has come from though, I’ll see what Emily says when I ask her about it. Sorry about all this.’
‘Not at all Lynnette, no harm done, that’s what matters. You will tell me if there’s anything I need to know with Emily won’t you?’
‘Of course Liz, thanks again.’
‘You’re welcome, bye.’
‘Bye Liz,’ said Lynnette, thoughtfully.
After the call, Lynnette sat and wondered what may have got into Emily. Both her and Leo had always made sure they all had a healthy diet and, while they were cautious about junk food, sweets and all the other bad things you weren’t meant to eat too much of, they never cut things out totally and they always tried to help Emily to understand that these “bad” things were only bad if you had them all the time.
Actually, for a kid, Emily was great with food; she liked vegetables and absolutely loved salad. The things she’d said to her friend had come out of the blue and, although she was obviously trying to help poor little Sammy, the fact that she’d thought that she ought to say something to Sammy about her weight was worrying. Where had that come from and was it an indication of an underlying problem they hadn’t seen coming?
Later that afternoon, Lynnette collected Emily from school and as they walked the short distance home she asked her how her day had been. Emily said it had been good and that they’d been practising class songs ready for assembly the next day. Lynnette then asked her if anything had happened with her friend Sammy. Emily started to look a little worried but then said. ‘Did Mrs Johnson call you?’
‘Yes, she did. And, I wondered if you wanted to talk about why she called me.’
‘Alright Mummy, I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean to upset Sammy; I made her cry, it was awful,’ she said, starting to get tearful.
‘I know you didn’t mean to upset her, you wouldn’t do that on purpose. It’s just that she’s probably sensitive because the other girls sometimes pick on her and she may have thought that was what you might do as well.’
‘I’d never do that Mummy,
she’s my best friend.’
‘I know Sweetheart, and she’s still your best friend isn’t she?’
‘Yes, she is, Mrs Johnson knew I didn’t mean to upset her and after we had a talk, we had a cuddle and now everything’s alright again. Mrs Johnson’s really nice.
‘Yes, I know. Are you alright, you’re not upset are you?’
‘No Mummy, not anymore, but I was a bit earlier when Sammy was crying,’ said Emily, cheering up a little.
‘Good, that’s okay then. But, why did you say that you weren’t going to eat chips anymore?’
‘I do like chips sometimes but they make you fat if you eat too many. I thought if I didn’t eat chips at all I wouldn’t get fat, and that goes for sweets as well.’
‘You, and Mummy and Daddy don’t really eat many chips do we? You know that your Daddy and I wouldn’t allow you to have too many, so you don’t need to worry. Chips and all those other things that can make you fat are only bad for you if you eat them all the time or if you always eat a lot of them. You know that don’t you?’
‘Yes, but I never want to get fat and ugly,’ said Emily looking a little bothered.
‘Don’t be silly, even if you were a just little bit chubby, and I’m sure you never will be, you’d never be ugly, and you’ll always be my gorgeous little girl.’
‘But fat people are ugly!’ said Emily.
‘Who on earth told you that? You don’t think that do you?’
‘Well, no I didn’t use to but…’ said Emily, her voice faltering.
‘But do you think that now? Why’s that? Come on you can tell me, I won’t be angry, you can tell me anything you know. We don’t have any secrets.’
‘But I promised Mummy,’ said Emily becoming tearful once again.
‘Don’t get upset now, you know I would never be angry with you. Who did you make a promise to? Was it your Daddy?’
‘No, it wasn’t Daddy. Mummy, when you were growing up did you have any secrets? You know secrets that you didn’t tell your Mummy and Daddy about.’
‘No, I didn’t have any secrets. Do you remember when your Daddy and I told you that you should never have secrets from us?’
‘Yes, but some secrets are alright aren’t they? I keep secrets with Sammy sometimes.’
‘Oh, those little secrets are alright, but you know that if an adult asks you to keep a secret you should say no, and you should tell me or Daddy about it. Has anyone been asking you to keep secrets from us? It’s okay you can tell me, I won’t be angry.’
‘Alright, but you won’t tell her I said anything will you? She made me promise.’
‘It’s fine, don’t worry, you can tell me. Who did you make a promise to?’ said Lynnette, trying not to sound too alarmed.
‘It was Nana. She said that she had secrets with her Nana when she was little so it was alright if we had a secret.’
‘Oh, I see; it was your Nana. So what is this secret? Remember you’re not in trouble.’
‘It’s nothing really. She just said that I shouldn’t eat too many chips and sweets and, what was it? Oh yes, ice-cream. I shouldn’t eat too much of all those things or I would get fat and ugly. She said that if we didn’t keep it a secret you would think she was inter.., inter-fixing, inter-something.’
‘Interfering?’ asked Lynnette.
‘That’s it, interfering,’ said Emily. ‘She said that you had a friend who was fat and ugly and that she wanted you to play with someone else. That’s not very nice though is it? I didn’t think Nana would say things like that but she did, and she said she’d just wanted you to grow up slim and beautiful.’
‘Is that it? Is that all the secrets you have with your Nana?’
‘Yes Mummy, there was only one. I don’t want to grow up to be fat and ugly; I want to grow up pretty like you.’
‘Thank you Emily, you’re a very good girl for telling me your secret. And, guess what? You are beautiful and you’ll still be beautiful when you’re all grown up and will be for the rest of your life. And another thing.’
‘What Mummy?’
‘Guess what?’
‘What? - What?’
‘It’s chips for tea, with a burger if you want and anything you want to follow for dessert. How does that sound, you gorgeous little thing?’
***
It was much later and after Emily had gone to bed, that Lynnette sat down with Leo to discuss what had happened earlier in the day. She told Leo what had happened at school and about the call from Liz. She then told him about the conversation she’d had with Emily on the way home.
‘I wondered why we had burger and chips,’ said Leo. ‘I quite enjoyed that for a change, your homemade burgers are gorgeous.’
‘Forget the burgers Leo that was just a treat for Emily to let her know she wasn’t in trouble and, as a thank you for breaking her promise and telling me the secret. We need to talk about this secret she’s had with my Mum and we need to make sure that she’s alright about herself and food and all that.’
‘I know Darling, I’m just trying to lighten the mood. You’re really not very happy about that are you?’
‘No, damn right I’m not. What’s your take on it? The secret I mean.’
‘I don’t know really, I don’t understand why your Mum would do something like that. If she genuinely thinks that we’re not giving Emily a good diet, it’s us she should talk to not Emily, not that it’s any of her business. To ask her to keep secrets from us is out of order, and what she planted in Emily’s mind is awful. Perhaps she thinks that if she did speak to us, we wouldn’t agree with her and so, for some misguided reason, she thought doing what she did was a good idea.’
‘You really don’t know my Mum very well do you?’
‘What do you mean? I know she can come across as a bit stand-offish, and she’s a bit prudish at times, but she’s okay on the whole, isn’t she?’
‘That’s just the image she puts forward. There’s a great deal I’ve never told you about my Mum for a number of reasons. You know when I was little; she was always going on to me about my weight and telling me I would get fat and ugly.’
‘What?’ said Leo. ‘But that’s what she talked about with Emily.’
‘Exactly. As we grew up, Michael was allowed to have all sorts of things that I wasn’t. I’m not knocking Michael, I love him, and it wasn’t his fault, but it didn’t matter what I did, what I said, or whatever I achieved at school, nothing ever seemed to be good enough. Oh, I would get a well done, but that would be followed up with a “Well if you can do that, you can do even better if you try harder next time.” Michael was always the blue-eyed boy who could do no wrong. I know this sounds pathetic and as though I’m just moaning, but as I became an adult, once, she actually said ‘You’re short aren’t you? You’d look quite pretty if you were a bit taller.’
‘You’re kidding aren’t you? What a way to make sure your child has great self-esteem. Was she really that nasty to you? I can’t believe it,’ said Leo exasperated.
‘I’d bore the pants off you if I told you about everything I can remember. Once we got married and I left home, that was the start of my new life away from her. You gave me that life and I can’t thank you enough for that. I love you Leo.’
‘I love you too Darling; I always will, you know that. Why didn’t you ever tell me any of this before?’ he asked.
‘Well, once I’d left home I thought that that was that and I decided that I wouldn’t let her have any more influence over me. Up to now that’s been the case most of the time. We go up to see them on our annual visits and I don’t really pay that much attention to what she says. You may have noticed that we don’t have the most loving of relationships.’
‘Yes, that’s true, now you mention it. I never thought about that before. What about your Dad? He seems like a really down-to-earth guy. I really like him.’
‘As I grew up I had a few talks with my Dad, mostly when I wasn’t happy with something my Mum had said or done.’
‘Oh yes, he knew alright. All he said was that that was the way she was and we all had to live with it, whether we liked it or not. I didn’t really get any support from him. The worst thing was she treated him as badly as she treated me; the only one that seemed to get fair treatment was Michael.’
‘Didn’t your Dad ever stand up to her?’
‘Yes, once or twice. I remember one time when he’d made some comment about the way she looked while they were out. I knew he’d said something because they were still arguing when they came home. He stood up to her then, and you know what? She didn’t speak to him for what seemed like ages. I think it was about a fortnight, it was awful. There was an atmosphere in the house and Michael and I didn’t dare say a word. I think my Dad gave up after that and just put up with her ways.’
‘That sounds terrible.’
‘It was, believe me. She can be a real piece of work Leo; you don’t know the half of it.’
I’m so sorry for being flippant earlier, I didn’t realise. I can see why what she did with Emily’s really annoyed you. What do you think we ought to do about that?’
‘I don’t suppose there’s very much we can do really, well for now, that is. If we were to take her to task on it, she’d have some justifiable reason for doing what she did or she would say that Emily was making it all up. Whatever we said, she’d have an answer ready and if we weren’t happy with what she said we’d end up having a huge row and then she’d get all upset and start playing the victim. I’ve seen it before. If she doesn’t get her own way or someone dares to confront her about what she says, or questions her actions, then look out that person because they won’t get away with it. There’d be some retribution, mark my words.’
‘You make her sound crazy.’
‘Well, I’m sure there’s a name for it, I’m just not sure what it is.’
‘What about Emily?’ asked Leo.
‘Oh Emily will be fine, I’m sure. We just need to make sure that she eats normally and that what my Mum said to her doesn’t influence her anymore. I think today scared her a little, and I could tell that she hasn’t liked keeping a secret from us. If we treat her as we always do and as though nothing is wrong she’ll be fine.’
